words in movies
Phoebe: Okay so, well just come up with some kind of signal if its going well you can take off.
Rachel: Cause I know hes gonna flip out and I hate it when hes angry.
Chandler: I thought we werent gonna have bachelor/bachelorette parties! Yknow, we agreed that it was a silly tradition.
Joey: Its a grand tradition!
Rachel: Well you couldve untied it with your hands.
Dr. Green: Its chicken.
Rachel: No its okay, this is whats gonna happen. Im gonna wait a couple years and then the baby will tell him.
Phoebe: Its slang for pregnant.
Rachel: Well uh, yes and no. Except not no. So to sum it up, yeah.
Dr. Green: Who is the father? Oh no! Please dont tell me its her! (Points at Phoebe.)
Rachel: No, its Ross. Its Ross. You like Ross. (He just shakes his head.) Oh daddy, I hope youre okay with all of this. I mean think about it, this is a good thing. Youre gonnaThis is your first grandchild! Youre gonna be a poppy!
Mona: So it was really cool seeing you lecture today.
Ross: Oh thanks. Although it kinda seemed like you were falling asleep there a little.
Mona: Oh no-no, I-I had my eyes closed so I could concentrate and yknow take it all in.
Mona: Oh hey, thanks again for showing me your semi-precious stone collection. It was amazing! (She leaves.)
Joey: So uh, you and Mona, been a while now. Hows it going?
Ross: Ah, its good. Its going good. I mean, we get along great. Shes, shes so
Joey: Im gonna take that book and beat you to death with it.
Monica: Come on! Come on, itll be fun! Itll make me feel so much better.
Chandler: Look, I appreciate it, but uh, its a little creepy. Yknow? Im not a bachelor anymore.
Monica: So dont think of it as a bachelor party, think of it as a a two month anniversary present.
Ross: Uh actually, sorry I cant even make it. Im seeing Mona again tonight.
Phoebe: Im sorry I wont be able to make it to your imaginary wedding, but Im really busy that day. Yeah, I already have a unicorn baptism and a leprechaun bar mitzvah.
Phoebe: Its Lafite. The 74 Latour is actually drinking quite nicely.
Dr. Green: What is it sweetie?
Dr. Green: Stay calm?!! How do you expect me to stay calm?! This is unacceptable Rachel! And I wanna know why?!! Is it because that punk Ross wont marry you?! Thats it! Is that it?!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandlers bachelor party has begun, what there is of it, with only Joey (wearing a gold paper top hat) and Chandler (wearing what appears to be a Burger King paper crown) enjoying a nice product placement of Budweisers on ice.]
Joey: Look, look lets pretend its a real bachelor party. Okay? Yknow? Before your wedding. Come on, itll be fun.
Joey: How does it feel knowing youre never gonna be with another woman again huh? Knowing youre gonna have to wake up to the same face everyday until you finally have the sweet release of death.
Ross: Aw forget it, its from Pier One. (Theres an angry knock on the door.) Sorry. (Goes and opens the door to an irate Dr. Green.)
Ross: Yes. Yes, yes I did. (To Mona) But-but it was, it was just a one night thing. It meant nothing.
Chandler: Could be. I mean technically she did strip, we just, we just missed it. (Walks towards the bedroom.) Maam, are you also a stripper?
Joey: I bet Ross was in on it too. I mean he was conveniently busy.
Ross: Hey! I did not dump Rachel! (To Mona) Nor are we still together. (The phone rings and Ross goes to answer it, only hes trapped behind the apothecary table by Dr. Green.) Can I just (Dr. Green glares at him.) Why dont we just let the machine get that?
Joey: (on machine) Hey Ross. Its Joey. Theres a hooker over here and we thought maybe youd know something about it.
Joey: Hey! Its your bachelor party.
Chandler: Which is why you should do it.
Joey: I dont want to. You do it!
Chandler: You do it!
Joey: You do it!
Joey: Not like we used to. Remember? You and me used to be inseparable. Yknow now its like things are different.
Joey: You got it. Come here. (They hug and are observed by the hooker.)
Phoebe: Thats it?! You call that a fight? Come on! "We were on a break!" "No we werent!" What happened to you two?!
Mona: Oh good, youre here. Yeah, and I was worried that it was going to be uncomfortable.
Rachel: I know, I get it, but Mona, what relationship is not complicated? I mean we all have our baggage! You must too! Why else would you still be single? (Mona looks at her.) I am so gonna leave right now. (Ross opens the door for her and she leaves.)
Ross: I know and I was going to, but I thought it was better that you heard it from Rachels father. Look I I made a mistake, but its only because I really, really like you. Really!
(She does so by taking off her jacket seductively, only she has trouble getting one hand out and slams the jacket on the chair angrily to remove it.)
Monica: Gotcha sailor. (Kicks one of her shoes off and it lands in the kitchen knocking something down, but she continues to strip.)
Rachel: Yes! (She gets up and sets the phone on the counter without hanging it up.) Bye daddy. (Phoebe and her leave.)
Dr. Green: (on phone, not hearing her) theres gonna be a wedding! (Joey enters from his room and goes to get a beer from the fridge.) Thats unacceptable Rachel! What the hell does love have to do with it anyway?! There are more important things in a marriage other than love! (Joey hears something and looks around for the source.) constantly thinking about things! You have to think about the consequences of your decision. (Joey finds that the sound is coming from the phone and puts it to his ear.)
Cassie: It took you that long to figure it out, huh?
Phoebe: Its so weird, I have never been fired from anything before!
Joey: Well maybe we just take that one away. (Picks it up and throws it away.)
Rachel: All right listen umm, I just bought something I'm not sure she's gonna like it, and it's gonna seem a little crazy, but this is something that I wanted since I was a little girl.
Monica: Well, its done about two minutes before it looks like that.
Rachel: OH MY GOD!!! (She holds her hands up in triumph and the gang all look at her.) Sorry, I was just imagining what itd be like to catch the money bouquet.
Ross: The Armadillo was actually not so thrilled about that part! Okay Ben, its time to light the Hanukkah candles! (Santa, Superman, Monica, Ben, and the Holiday Armadillo go over to the menorah to light the candles.)
Monica: Well no wait a minute thats not true! No, what did, that was really sweet. And it kinda works out for the best.
Rachel: Yes! Great! Give me those cigs! Give it! Give it! (She grabs their cigarettes and lighters and throws them in the trash.)
Ross: So its really a question of who could you have possibly done.
Sandy: It's allright! Crying is good. It lets the boo-hoos out.
Monica: (again, lying) Im gonna go into the bathroom so I can look at it in the mirror, as I eat it.
Joey: It was, yeah. I kind of don't want it to end. Hey, you wanna come in for a drink and a bite of corsage?
Chandler: Mr. and Mrs. Geller, you look wonderful, it is great to have you hear, let us take off your coats!
Rachel: Oh no-no, no! Its good! Its all good! I-I actually work at Ralph Lauren!
Rachel: Its not a big deal!
Phoebe: Ah-hah! At least we know its a him.
Rachel: Stop picturing it!!
Joey: I don't know. We're talking about whipped fish, Monica. I'm just happy I'm keeping it down, y'know?
Chandler: Thats still yours. Okay, now remember its a surprise party. So, when you go in, act surprised.
Ross: Oh well, it sounds to me like your family is ready to uh, rediscover its Scottish roots.
Rachel: Its a pretty cool tux.
Joey: Hey. (Laughs then seriously) It happened!
Phoebe: Okay, it just seems pretty wild and youre soyknow so vanilla.
Rachel: Yeah, why is it so hard for you to believe?!
Rachel: Oh I dont know honey. Its gonna be really late.
Frank: They musta read the sonogram wrong. 'Cause they, 'cause they thought it was a boy, but Chandler's a girl! Chandler's a girl!
Monica: They wouldnt have put it there if it didnt do something! How can you not care?
Joey: Well, she and I said from the beginning that we weren't gonna do anything unless you were okay with it. And clearly..
Monica: Oh thats too bad. Its true, but too bad.
Chandler: Look, its my wedding day okay? If you were getting married I would never do anything to upset you.
Rachel: Thats it? Well I saw that! Ohh-ohh-oh, thank you.
Chandler: Math!! Youre giving me math! All right, look y'know what, forget about it, you go for the girl, well see who gets her.
Chandler: (on phone) Yes, Fran. I know what time it is, but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy!
Rachel: Oh, with the mother, just... just constantly tell her how amazing her son is. Take it from me, moms love me. Ross's mom one time actually said I'm like the daughter that she never had.
Rachel: So it seemed that my prom date had stood me up, so Ross selflessly, offered to take me.
Joey: Right. Right. The wedding, gotcha. But I mean, its gonna start a little late right? I mean, weddings start late. Right?
Ross: Yes. I find it to be something of a conversation piece.
Chandler: (standing up) Let me try it on!
Ross: What are you kidding? Its Batmans tux!!
Chandler: Hey, I'm sorry, I should have given you guys my black book when I got married! Although it wasn't so much a book as a... napkin. With Janice's phone number on it.
Rachel: It happened! I am telling you it happened!
Chandler: The reason we didn't tell anyone was because we didn't want to make a big deal out of it.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Well, its better than us deciding.
Chandler: Whose is it?
Joey: Boy, it was so hard not to laugh, I tell ya. Hey, hey, the place looks great!
Chandler: Whose is it?
Chandler: Oh, come on! I dont care! Come on! Whose is it?
Ross: Let me see that! (Grabs the invitation and reads it.) Oh man!
Monica: Hold it! Are you talking about Dick Clarks New Years Rocking Eve?
Chandler: So, why is she leaving? Is it a school night and she has a lot of homework to do?
Monica: Its kind of an important one!
Chandler: Oh, yknow-yknow what, I was looking at it upside down.
Ross: The only thing I understand is; postponing it is not an option. This is when were getting married.
Chandler: Do you think that theres a town in Missouri or some place called Sample? And ah, as youre driving into town theres-theres like a sign, and it says Youre in Sample. (He says it like urine sample.)
Joey: Oh, I got it! How about saying something like, "Monica
Mr. Geller: Oh, well, I, I guess it musta been the day after you were born. We were in the hospital room, your mother was asleep, and they brought you in and gave you to me. You were this ugly little red thing, and all of a sudden you grabbed my finger with your whole fist. And you squeezed it, so tight. And that's when I knew.
Chandler: No I don't! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
Monica: All right thats it, I give up! Whatever you want you can have it! You wanna sing a song? You wanna do a dance? You want your mom stand at the Alter and scream racial slurs? I dont care!
Monica: You wanted it to be a surprise.
Rachel: Oh good. (She walks to the closed bathroom door, opens it, and finds a naked woman wrapped in a towel.) Ahhh! My God, sorry! (She closes the door and confronts Joey.)
Joey: (yelling through the door) Can we come it yet?! Were dying out here!
Ross: Oh! (Does a laugh/groan.) Listen umm, I, I just stopped by to see if you wanted to see this play tonight. Umm, its supposed to be excellent. The director is the same
Joey: (shocked) Has it been that long?!
Joey: Uh listen, heres your Soapie. I accepted it for ya. (Hands it to her.)
(Joey thinks it over.)
Phoebe: Okay, so Im done my part, okay. Its your responsibility now, okay. The burden is off me, right?
Joey: I know! I mean its not like we werent cool about it.
Chandler: It happened in London.
Joey: But it is a big deal!! I have to tell someone!
Phoebe: NO! THEY'RE DOING IT!!!
Chandler: Oh come on guys, its not like I moved to Europe! I just moved across the hall! And we would have you over all the time if it werent for (struggles to get this out) Monicas allergies. (The duck quacks.) Youre right, I could never lie to you. She hates you. (The phone rings.) Should I get that? (Laughs, then answers the phone.) Hello? (Listens) Uh no, Joeys not here right now. Can I take a message? (Listens) Yeah, okay so the audition has been moved from 5:00 to 2:30? (Listens) Okay great. (Listens.) Bye. (Hangs up the phone and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle on the door but Monica walks in and forces him to jump out of the way.)
Rachel: (angrily) GIVE ME THE BOOK! (she takes it and start reading) Pablo Diaz, Brady Smith, huh, "Guy-in-van"?
Phoebe: Yes. Yes! Fine! I am someone! You want me to say it? I have doubts! (Pause) I'm sorry! (Puts her head down.)
Phoebe: Here it comes. Our first kiss.
Joey: So that's it! It's over! Everybody knows!
Rachel: You really think it would be that different?
Phoebe: Yknow, youre friends getting married, its gotta change things.
Ross: Itll be okay Joe.
Joey: What? I dont get it.
Chandler: You really like it?
Rachel: (shocked) You let Joey drive it?!
Joey: Yeah! Yeah Monica! You listen to me, okay? And Im not just saying this because Im your friend, Im sayin it cause its the truth. Youre food is abysmal!
Chandler: Y'know what, it doesnt matter, cause she picked me. Me! From now on I get the dates and you have to stay home on Saturday nights watching Ready, Set, Cook!
Ross: Look, its just did, did you ever go to a party and think, "Would really anyone miss me if I werent here?"
Rachel: Yeah, maybe if you gave this girl a chance it would go somewhere.
Monica: Its your suitcase. Were going to Las Vegas.
Evil Bitch: See? See? It was because you were looking fat pervert!
Chandler: Does it matter?!
Phoebe: Yes! A friend of mine did it and its totally legal!
Kate: Oh, yeah. I love Jennifer Van Murrays work. Shes so brilliantly incisive when it comes to deconstructing the psyche of the American middle class.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, the middle of the night, there is someone knocking on the door and Monica and Chandler get up to answer it.]
Waiter in Drag: Youre straight. I get it. (Walks away.)
Phoebe: And then you say that it's almost midnight and you have to go because you don't wanna start the new year with me if you can't finish it. (They kiss) I'm gonna miss you. You scientist guy.
Chandler: Yeah, listen, how cold is it going to be there? Do I need a coat or will all these sweater vests be enough? (Holds up 3 of them in different colors.)
Ross: Here it comes.
Ross: Well she should, it was taken ten years ago!
Rachel: I knew it! I knew it, ahh .
Rachel: Here we go. Im serving my last cup of coffee. (the gang starts humming the graduation theme) There you go. (hands it to Chandler) Enjoy. (they all cheer)
ROSS: The point is I... I don't need this right now, OK. It, it's too late, I'm with somebody else, I'm happy. This ship has sailed.