words in movies
Joey: I can't believe it. When you guys come back, you're gonna have a baby! That is so weird!
Monica: Oh my God, it's gonna WORK! We're gonna make it work! I'm gonna be a mummy and (to Chandler) you're gonna be a daddy! All right, I'll see you suckers. I'm gonna get me... A BABY! {she leaves)
Chandler: Oh, screw it, I'm gonna be a daddy!!
Rachel: Well, believe it or not, it's true. When Joey and I were together, he was wonderful. He was thoughtful and mature. And for the one week that we went out, he didn't sleep with anybody else!
Ross: (he takes a baby blue beret out of a shopping box and puts it on) How does this look?
Rachel: Well, it's a little low... pick up a little... (Ross picks it up) a little bit more... (he picks it up again) a little bit more... (he takes it off) There you go! (pause) Now throw it away!
Monica: Ok, thank you.(the man leaves) Uh, well this is it. Are you OK?
Monica: Hi. It is so, so nice to meet you.
Erica: You're kidding me? I mean, it's enough that you are a doctor. But on top of it, you're married to a reverend?
Phoebe: That’s it? That’s why you won’t go out with her again? So, she took some fries, big deal!
Joey: Hey, hey, look! It’s not about a few fries... it’s about what the fries represent.
Phoebe: Well, I still think that it’s a stupid reason not to call someone again. You are calling her! And if you need to, just get an extra plate of fries for the table!
Ross: Rach, come on, I’m not gonna wear any of this! (he picks up a shirt) Nothing silver. (Rachel sighs). Ok? Nothing with hair! (Rachel sighs again) And nothing with padlocks on it! (Rachel heaves a long disappointing sigh).
Phoebe (walking to Ross carrying a black leather jacket): Hey, check this out! It’s totally you!
Ross: All right, that’s it, I’m getting out of here.
Monica: It says “Do it!”. And behold she did adopt onto them a baby. And it was good.
Chandler: No-ot for me it doesn’t.
Agency guy: Yes, our system assures total anonimity. We’re very proud of it.
Phoebe: oh, well, Ross probably has it, you can get it from him later.
Ross: (not getting it) Yeah! Yeah! Rachel picked it out for me. She told me to trust her and you know what? I'm glad I did! I turned quite a few heads on my way over here.
Monica: Well, if you think about it, I am kind of like a Reverend. I mean, as a chef, I serve God, by feeing the hungry and poor. (looks very convinced about what she just said)
(Then she reaches over again and Joey moves his plate a little to the left, and she misses, then she reaches out again, and he moves his plate to the right , so she misses again. She tries a third time and this time, Joey pushes his plate so far to the left, it drops off the edge of the table)
Joey: I don't like it when people take food off of my plate, okay?
Joey: WELL, I DIDN'T MEAN IT!
Sarah: Fine, I'm sorry, I didn't think it was that big a deal.
Joey: I'm sorry, I'm overreacting. Okay, It's just when it comes to food, I have certain rules, okay, I mean (bends down and with his plate and his hands, scrapes the dropped dinner back onto the plate and puts it back on the table) There are things you do..and you now, things.. (takes something from the plate and blows it a little) that you don't do (He takes a bite from it).
Ross: Oh! You are gonna love it! (The girl is looking in the other direction as Ross is taking off his own coat, revealing the pink and white ladies shirt) and I'm so glad, we're finally doing this.
Joey: (More to himself than anyone else) So stupid, ordering cheesecake, trying to be healthy. (pushes it aside)
(Joey sits sideways on his chair, looking at Sarah's chocolate torte, and then looking away from it, nervously playing with his fork, drumming with it on the table every now and then.)
Agency guy: So, these are the preliminary forms for an open adoption. There's a lot to go over, but I'll explain everything as we go through it.
Erica: Yeah. It's a sonogram they took of the baby last week. I thought you might want to see it. (gives it to Monica, who looks at it for a long time, and then shows it to Chandler)
Chandler: I could perform an operation on you and prove it if you'd like.
Erica: Why don't you ask the reverend to pray on it?
Erica: Oh yeah. I actually liked you guys. But it doesn't matter, because what you did was wrong. (walks away again, but Chandler catches up with her again)
Chandler: But you did like us. And you should. My wife's an incredible woman. She's loving and devoted and caring. And don't tell her I said this but the woman's always right... I love my wife more than anything in this world. And I... It kills me that I can't give her a baby... I really want a kid. And when that day finally comes, I'll learn how to be a good dad. But my wife... she's already there. She's a mother... without a baby... Please?
Joey: (nods) So, why are you still wearing it?
(they shake hands the way friends would. There's a muffin on the table, and Ross breaks off a piece and wants to put it in his mouth.)
Rachel: Oh! Shoot! Damn it! Where is it? Oh! Oh! I found it! I found it!
Ross: Oh, it was good! It was good. Actually, the baby started kicking!
Monica: I know. But umm, one time there was this really dirty car in front of the building, so I washed it.
Monica: No, no. It felt nice to acknowledge this. (pats Chandler on his leg)
Rachel: Oh, and then, we got into this big, stupid fight. I just, it was awful. I told him he treats me like a park ranger, or something, oh and then I told him I wanted to take a break, I dont want to take a break.
Pete: I cant until Im the ultimate fighter. I will do it. Im telling you, the day will come when children will argue over who will win a fight, me or Superman. Now, Im not saying I could beat Superman, but y'know, kids are stupid.
Rachel: Wow! I cant believe they didnt put it in the part where you said you didnt watch soap operas.
Chandler: I'd like to propose a toast. Little toast here, ding ding. I know this isn't the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you all planned, but for me, this has been really great, you know, I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway, I was just thinking, I mean, if you'd gone to Vail, and if you guys'd been with your family, if you didn't have syphilis and stuff, we wouldn't be all together, you know? So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked.
Phoebe: Yeah, did she sound happy about it? 'Cause my friend Ethel's baby was born with a teeny, tiny beard.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is pounding out the hinge pins on the closet door to get it open.]
Carol: I don't care. I am trying to get a person out of my body here, and you're not making it any easier.
Hums While He Pees: No its Uh, my ex-wife Whitney is out there. I cannot deal with her right now. That woman is crazy!
Rachel: Well yeah, but then I remembered I started it and there was this pep rally and I was, I was on top of the pyramid but anywayumm, what is this book about?
Joey: Or, I could just point to it! Huh? Blah, blah, blah, Purina One, point to a bag today. (She just looks at him.) I didnt get it, did I?
Rachel: It kinda worked. I mean yknow, I dont know about you buy I havent thought about our thing since all this.
The Dry Cleaner: No! It dont go up on the wall!
ROSS: Wow, it, it's neat learning about submarines.
Chandler: Well its just my entire family was run out of Scotland by Vikings. Anyway, lots of bad memories. (Makes a few unintelligible noises.)
Chandler: Okay, Pheebs, we decided the picnic idea was a little Y'know, it didn't have any It-it, well it blew. So, we thought, that this afternoon that we would all go away for the whole weekend to, Atlantic City!
JOEY: (spots the suitcase just inside the door where Chandler left it) Whoa, whoa.� Wait a minute.� Wait a minute.� If you just got back from Tulsa, how did your suitcase beat you here?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachels, Monica has finally given up on her search to find what the light switch does and is now flicking it on and off aimlessly.]
Rachel: Oh it was perfect! I mean it really felt like he was my friend again.
Rachel: Yes, you have to get her something, and it should be something really nice.
Joey: Monica face it, Chandler is against marriage. And-and always will be!
Ross: Yeah, I'd probably enjoy it more if you didn't keep batting my hand away.
Chandler: Oh, it doesnt matter. (Kisses her on the top of her head.) Hey, yknow what, Ive got two tickets to tonights Rangers game, you wanna come with me?
Rachel: Oh. Im sorry. Im very sorry. Sorry. (She hums and sighs happily.) Its just, Im ahh, Im kinda excited. Im, ahh, going to London to ahh, tell this guy that I love him and... (He puts his headphones on to ignore her.)
Rachel: All right, fine! But I had too! I had to do it for my career!
Ross: Hey-hey, its valid okay? And Im not the only one who thinks so, Monica agrees with me.
Rachel: Ish. I just don�t think I can bear it.
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up.)
Ross: of course she has. if she'd never had a serious relationship I'd go round broadcasting it like some unstoppable moron.
Chandler: Well, you manheads aren't any better. You lied about going to the game. You knew it would make you late, and you still went anyway.
Peter: Were not throwing it away! I built that canoe! (starts to leave as Tony chases after him)
Chandler: I don't know. Maybe it's because it smells a little weird. It's like old pumpkins or something.
Joey: Oh! I see what happened. It's because I was trying to repel you. Right? Believe me, you'd feel a lot different if I turned it on.
Chandler: It bodes well for me that speed impresses you.
Ross: Well, they painted over the word Sapien for one thing, then they rearranged the figures, lets just leave it at that.
Phoebe: (A woman with large breasts walks in the door) Ohh knockers will help us figure it out. (She walks by and he checks her out.)
Monica: Umm, I think I spoke too quickly. There-theres a learning curve with this job and maybe we can try it again.
RYAN: If I had one wish, it would be to build a time machine, go back to when I was 7, when Jimmy Hauser had the chicken pox. I would grab that kid and rub him all over my face.
Phoebe: Well, I think you're gonna appreciate it the crap out of this one (she gives him a check)
The Interviewer: (To Joey) Yknow I think its great you wanted to meet here. Yknow when most people hear the magazine is paying for it they want to go to a big fancy restaurant.
Mike: If you need an easy way to remember it, just think of a bag of crap.
Joey: Rach, I told you everything I knew last night! Look, it's not that big of a deal, so Monica and Chandler are doing it.
Joey: That's it! I'm tired of covering for you two! This has got to stop! (Realizes he still has the underwear in his hand.) Ahh! (Throws them towards Chandler's room.) And tighty-whiteys! What are you, 8?
Phoebe: All right y'know what, nevermind! Everyone wants to have a green one! Im sorry, Im sorry, I didnt mean to get so emotional, I guess its just the holidays, its hard.
Rachel: Nope! (She puts one in her mouth and spits it out, then does it again in another direction.)
Monica: Yeah. But of course we had to update it a little bit. (To Ross) Hey, by the way, great thinking about catching me!
Joey: Of course you do! I saved him! You're mad at me! It all adds up! You want Ross out of the picture.
Phoebe: Yes you do! This is your third divorce! You love divorce so much youre probably gonna marry it! Then it wont work out and youre gonna have to divorce it, divorcing guy. (Pause) Im so drunk.
Chandler: It bodes well for me that speed impresses you.
Phoebe: Yeesh, whatd you do about it?
Phoebe: (hides her mouth behind the cup and speaks in the "pigeon voice" from before) Coo, again. Don't blame the pretty lady. It was not her fault. It was me, the pigeon, coo! (pause) Seriously, stop staring at her.
Chandler: Well, close to (Notices Rachel leaning in to hear and decides to write it on a piece of paper and hand it to Monica as Phoebe averts her eyes.)
Chandler: An invitation for the At First Sight premiere? Oh my God! Val Kilmer didnt wear this in Batman! He wore it to the premiere of some tooty-fruity love story where he played a blind guy!
Phoebe: I did it! One mile on a hippity-hop! Thats it!! Thats everything I wanted to do before I was thirty. Oh, except I wanted to patch things up with my sister. But oh well. Yay!! (They all cheer again.) And-and girls this thing is a Godsend if you know what I mean. (Rachel and Monica look intrigued and as they all head into Central Perk, Rachel picks up the hippity-hop that Phoebe left behind.)
JOEY: Hey no, seriously, I don't need you to pick me... [Fun Bobby picks Joey up off the ground, bounces him. Joey laughs.] Alright! It still works.
(Joey starts trying to undo her bra, but it won’t go.The elastic band snaps back, hurting Rachel.)
Chandler: I said it first, bro.
Phoebe Sr.: Well, any how, some how I got pregnant, and, and I was scared. I was stupid and sellfish, and I was 18 years old. I mean, you remember what its like to be eighteen years old?
Monica: Yeah Joey shes Rachels got this really big work problem, and it is a head scratcher. Wow! (To Chandler) Yknow what, if were gonna make dinner were gonna have to leave. Yeah. (She and Chandler exit.)
EDDIE: [enters] Check it out man, I tore it off some mannaquin in the alley behind Macy's.
Rachel: Honey, that's very sweet, it just seems to me though, that if two people love each other and trust each other, like we do, there's no reason to be jealous. (she kisses him)
Phoebe: I wouldn't bring that up, it would probably just bum him out.
Rachel: Go to the post office! I'm sure her picture's up! ...Okay, Monica, y'know what, honey, you're kinda losing it here! I mean, this is really becoming like a weird obsession thing.
Phoebe: you know maybe this is a wake up call, about your whole dating attitude. Your in your thirty's and you've never had a serious relationship and you have never been in a long term relationship, here you go from woman to woman, meaningless experience to meaningless experience never even worrying that it doesn't tern into anything serious.
Ross: (stares at him angrily) Ok. (determined to spell it correctly) B - O - S ...
Joey: (yelling at her) I’M CURVY, AND I LIKE IT!
MRS GREEN: Monica! You look gorgeous! Last time I saw you, it was eat or be eaten.
David: Damn it! I-I'm sorry. I-I don't mean that. I-I want you to be happy... But only with me. No, uhm... that's not fair. Uh, who cares, leave him!. Oh, I don't mean that. Yes I do... I'm sorry Uhm, I... I think I should probably uhm... go...
Phoebe: Prove it.
Joey: (manages to pry off only a small piece) Aw! Look at that, every inch of this stuff is glued down. Itd take forever to pry this up. You should ah, you should just leave it. (starts to walk away, but Monica grabs him)
Ross: Yeah the dad and Ben eat soup and pretend to enjoy it.
Phoebe: Ooh, is that spelled with a C or a K? Oh my God! It doesnt matter; theyre both great!
[Time lapse, Ross has been demoted to the back seat with Joey and Chandler. He's not too happy about it.]
Phoebe: Ooh. Oh. It looks like, like a tiny little person drowning in your cereal. (Ross gives her this look, like 'Yeah, doesn't it', and gets up to dump it down the drain.)
Ross: Well, whatever it is I'm-I'm very, very sorry. Okay?
Phoebe: Oh, ok, you want me to marry Mike? Alright, well, let's just gag him and handcuff him and force him down the aisle. I can just see it: "Mike, do you take Phoebe..." (gestures with her hand as if someone is covering her mouth and tries to shout "No! No!") You know, it's every girl's dream!
Rachel: Ugh, it was horrible! And-and the interview part went so well, y'know? I even made him laugh. He said something about a boat and I was like, "Well, yeah! If you've got enough life jackets!" (She starts laughing; Chandler and Joey are not amused.) Trust me, it was actually, it was very funny. Anyway, so we were saying good-bye and ugh!
Doug: (entering) Uh, I gotta apologize for Kara's coffee. Y'know, I feel sorry for it if it ever got in a fight, it's not strong enough to defend itself. (Chandler does not laugh.) Did you hear what I said Bing?
Ross: Yeah, yeah man don't do it. I mean if you date her, then-then-then I can't date her.
[Scene: Phoebes apartment building, in desperation she has wrapped up the smoke detector in a blanket and is going to throw it into the trash chute.]
Joey: No, in Ross's building! (He throws Rachel onto the chair and heads to the window.) She's back! She's back! (Pantomimes) Okay, wait there, I'll be over in a second. (He counts where she is again.) Got it! (Runs out and does a little hot over a chair.)
Ross: Cause otherwise theyd have to call it the room room.
Ross: It just amazes me that your still pulling stuff like this.
Chandler: Well, whatever it is, I hope it involves winking. (Winks in a spy-type manner.)
(At this point a stream of obscenities burst forth from Phoebes mouth just in time for Ben and Ross to enter and hear most of it, and in slow motion Ross tries to shield his innocent son from Phoebes vulgarity.)
Monica: And when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. (To Rachel) (Starts to cry) You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!! (They both break down in tears.)
Rachel: Oh my God! This is it! (She and Phoebe hold hands.) (To Phoebe) I really hope its you!
Chandler: Yeah! (Takes it.) If-if-if we did do this there would be a lot of pressure on me, yknow? Because youve been waiting a very long time and I wouldnt want to disappoint you.
RACH: Ehhhummmm, I don't know, why don't you taste it.
Chandler: You bet I did, Ben, put it there! (He shakes Ben's hand, but the money falls out of his hands) (to Monica) Well, it would have worked this time, if his hands weren't so damn small! (Realizes, that Ben is standing right there) Ho, ho, ho!
Joey: Well thats it. Im done. Whew! (Wipes his forehead.) There come the meat sweats. (Chandler hands him a towel and he wipes his face.)
Joey: Yeah, I saw her this morning walkin it by the park.
Phoebe: Well, maybe it wont work out. Maybe Ross wont like her personality.
Phoebe: No. It starts with a "v" and ends with an "x". Helpfully with a "to" in the middle.
[Scene: Phoebe Sr. house, she is a real estate agent and is trying to sell a house over the phone. By the way, its still raining outside.]
(Chandler makes a 'Cross my heart' sign. It starts to rain and he taps on the window.)
Monica: Oh yeah, I remember mine! Ohh, it was my sixth birthday, my dad took me to the park, I got it, and it bent.