words in movies
[Scene: ATM vestibule, Jill Goodacre is on the cellular phone. Chandler's thoughts are in italics.]
Jill: (on phone) Hi Mom, it's Jill.
Chandler: She's right, it's Jill. Jill Goodacre. Oh my God. I am trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre! (pause) Is it a vestibule? Maybe it's an atrium. Oh, yeah, that is the part to focus on, you idiot!
Jill: (on phone) Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just stuck at the bank, in an ATM vestibule.
Chandler: Jill says vestibule... I'm going with vestibule.
Jill: (on phone) I'm fine. No, I'm not alone... I don't know, some guy.
Chandler: Oh! Some guy. Some guy. 'Hey Jill, I saw you with some guy last night. Yes, he was some guy.
(Chandler strides proudly across the vestibule and Jill stares at him.)
Jill: (awkwardly) Would you like to call somebody? (offering phone)
Joey: (to everyone) Oh my God! He's trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre! (on phone) Chandler, listen. (says something intentionally garbled)
Jill: Would you like some gum?
Jill: (checks) Sorry, it's not.
Chandler: Oh, then no thanks. What the hell was that? Mental note: If Jill Goodacre offers you gum, you take it. If she offers you mangled animal carcass, you take it.
Chandler: You know, on second thought, gum would be perfection. (Jill gives him a stick of gum, and a strange look) 'Gum would be perfection'? 'Gum would be perfection.' Could have said 'gum would be nice,' or 'I'll have a stick,' but no, no, no, no. For me, gum is perfection. I loathe myself.
(Chandler waits until Jill is looking, then starts to blow a bubble. But instead of blow one, he accidentally spits the gum out of his mouth and hits the wall.)
Jill: Are you alright?
Jill: My God, you're choking! (she runs over and gives him the Heimlich, the gum flies from his mouth) That better?
Jill: Perfection?
[Scene: ATM vestibule, Chandler and Jill are sitting below the counter with two pens dangling from their chains in front of them. Jill is showing Chandler how to swing the pen around his head.]
Jill: Chandler, we've been here for an hour doing this! Now watch, it's easy.
Jill: Ready? (she swings the pen around her head in a circle)
Jill: No, you've got to whip it.
Jill: Well, this has been fun.
Jill: Well, goodbye Chandler. I had a great blackout. (she kisses him on the cheek) See ya.
Rachel: Oh my God! I can not believe that! I mean I dont really like it when Ross goes out with anyone, but my sister isnt that like incest or something?! Oh my God, and theyre gonna have sex! Oh! Oh no what if he marries her too?! Oh this is just terrible, this is just terrible. And I cant stop it! I cantI dont own Ross! Yknow? And Jill, she should be able to do whatever it is that she wants to do! And oh my God, I cant believe Ross is marrying my little sister, this terrible. Oh my God, this is just the worst thing that could have ever happened to me.
Rachel: (notices Jills bags) Jill! Did you shop?!
Jill: All right, Im leaving! Because Im not going to spend one more day with someone whose out to sabotage my every move. Thats you Rachel!
Jill: Yknow, thanks for trying to cheer me up, but Im not gonna date some random guy from your work.
(He goes into another room to get his projector and notes. While hes gone, Jill quickly checks her makeup.
Rachel: You went shopping?! What, and then you just came in here and paraded it right under Jills nose when you know shes trying to quit. Wow, you guys are terrible!
(Rachel laughs a little too hard as Ross and Jill leave for their date. After they have left, Rachel starts to break down.)
Ross: Jill, how did you pay for all this? I thought your dad took away your credit card.
Amy: You know what? When I moved in here I thought: This is gonna be so great. Just us sisters, back together again like when we were kids, except without that stupid Jill... Oh! Who has gotten fat by the way...
Jill: Rachel and I had a really big fight, can I come in? I-I mean I know were not supposed to see each other anymore and Im okay with that, its just that I dont know anybody in the city and I really need somebody to talk to about it.
Jill: Yeah but maybe thats a good thing. Yknow Im doing all these different sorts of things, and maybe I should try dating a geek too!
Jill: (covers her eyes and starts crying) Im sorry Rachel, Im sorry
RACHEL: It's just this thing. Every year we would go out on my dad's boat and watch the fireworks. Mom always hated it because the ocean air made her hair all big. My sister Jill would be throwing up over the side and my dad would be upset becasue nobody was helping and then when we did help he would scream at us for doing it wrong. But then when the fireworks started, everybody just shut up, you know, and it'd get really cold, and we would all just sort of smush under this one blanket. It never occured to anybody to bring another one. And now it's just...
Ross: Its a rug. (Jill winces.)
Jill: Oh please, I memorized those numbers when I was 15. But look at all the cool make-it-on-my-own stuff I got! (Holds up a red sweater) This is my "Please, hire me" sweater. (Holds up a pair of black pants) And these are my, "Dont you want to rent me this apartment?" pants.
Jill: Oh no-no-no, hes just I dont know, hes just a little bookish.
Jill: Yeah but it wasnt for me, it was for a friend.
Jill: (To Ross) And you! I throw myself at you and you say no, how gay are you?
Jill: And yknow what I said to him? "Im gonna hire a lawyer and Im gonna sue you and take all your money. Then Im gonna cut you off!"
Rachel: Hey! Have you guys seen Jill? I cant find her anywhere.
Jill: Youll never believe what just happened, Ross just totally blew me off and he didnt even tell me why!
Jill: (entering) I dont want to talk about it.
Donny: Ok Henrietta, you've picked Jack and Jill went up the hill.
Jill: Right! But, I am sorry.
Jill: Totally, I love them! And, maybe you could finish telling me about all the different kinds of sand.
Written by: Jill Condon & Amy Toomin Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Jill: Hes the kind of guy youre friends with, yknow? But hes not the kind of guy you date. Hes the kind of guy youd date because you did. Me, not so much.
Jill: Seeing some more of your super-cool slides.
Chandler: (starts crying) I-I cant believe Jills gone. (They all look at him.) I cant help it, I opened a gate.
Ross: Yknow what? I think I can take care of myself, Ill talk to you later. Good-bye. (Hangs up the phone and turns to find Jill sitting really close to him.) Whoa! Uh, that was your sister actually. She-she thinks that youre just using me.
Written by: Jill Condon & Any Toomin Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Rachel: Jill, honey, I think this is the best thing that couldve ever happened to you. I mean you needed to get out on your own anyway! And you know when I did it, I-I-I at first I was scared, and look at me now! Im the only daughter dad is proud of! Okay, well this is, this is what youre gonna do. Youre gonna get a job, youre gonna get an apartment, and then Ill help you and you can stay with us. Right Pheebs, she can stay with us?
Phoebe: No. No. Its just I was umm, I was with Ross and Jill after you left and umm, Im pretty sure I saw a little spark between them.
Jill: Ugh! I cannot believe you did this too me! You had me doubting how smart I was! (Gasps) You had me doubting my fashion sense!
Jill: That he wouldnt pay for my lawyer! Then he told me to come here and learn about the value of money from the one daughter hes actually proud off.
Ross: Hi Jill.
Jill: Hi!
Jill: Oh my God, Rachel!
Rachel: Oh my God, Jill!
Jill: She took all my stuff.
Phoebe: Sorry Jill.
Jill: So who made her queen of the world?
Jill: Hey!
Jill: No! They did! (Points to Phoebe and Ross)
Jill: Oh, thats so great! Okay, Im really gonna do this! I dont know how to thank you guys.
Rachel: Jill?
Jill: You stop!
Jill: No you stop!
Jill: No! Yknow what Rachel? Youre right, yknow he has been really nice to me.
Rachel: With Ross and Jill?
Jill: (entering) Sorry Im late, whats up?
Jill: You think so too?
Jill: Yeah.
Jill: Me go out with Ross?! No! God no! What would make you think that?
Jill: No! I mean hes nice.
Jill: Fine, then lets just say hes not my type.
Rachel: With my sister Jill and my ex-boyfriend Ross?
Ross: Sorry-sorry Jill.
Ross: (entering) Hi Jill!
[Scene: Central Perk, time lapse, Rachel is at the counter as Jill enters.]
Jill: Its probably because not mature enough. Or smart enough. Maybe he doesnt like the way I dressNo that cant be it. Its really gotta be the smart thing. Oh Im so stupid! Im just like this incredibly pretty stupid girl!
Jill: Hey!
Jill: (laughs) Me too.
Jill: Really?!
Jill: Its yours!
Jill: (entering) Hi!
Jill: Hey!
(We see that Ross is returning to his apartment with Jill.)
(We see that Ross is taking off Jills coat.)
Jill: You dont want him, but you dont want me to have him?
Jill: You asked him too?!
Jill: Why?!
Jill: I dont understand, do you want to go out with Ross?
Jill: Why are you so jealous of me?
Jill: Who?!
Jill: What?
Rachel: She-she died Jill.
Jill: So? (Kisses him passionately.)
Jill: Oh, Mr. Scientist has to get all technical!
Jill: Oh great! Thanks Ross, youre such a good friend!
Jill: But you know what might really cheer me up?
Ross: You damn kids! You ring my bell one more time, I swear to (Opens the door to find Jill standing there.) Ohh, uh Jill. Umm, that-thats just a little game I play with the kids down the hall. Umm, theyve really taken a liking to me. (Quickly looks out to see if theyre watching.) Uhh whats-whats-whats the matter?
Jill: (hits him) Shut up! I did not sound like that at all!
Ross: You take care Jill.
Jill: (happily) Okay, see ya! (Exits.)
Rachel: Jill this is not about me being jealous of you! This is about you being a brat! Wanting what you cant have!
Jill: Well okay, if it means that much to you, then Ill ask him out.
Jill: Cant have?! Excuse me, the only thing I cant have is dairy! (Starts to storm out.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is ranting about Jill to Chandler and Monica.]
Jill: Yeah. Ooh, I know what this is missing! Alcohol!
Jill: Okay, I bought a boat.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is there as Jill enters to start her date with Ross.]
Ross: (To Rachel) You uh, you may have been right about Jill.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Jill enters.]
Jill: (To Rachel) Daddy cut me off.
Jill: Were you this cute in high school?
Jill: Oh no! But I just walked past three sales and I didnt go in. How strong am I?
Jill: Oh great! (Goes to get it as the phone rings.)
Ross: Look I-I realize if anything were to happen with me and Jill then nothing could ever happen with us!
Jill: (gasps) Thats the best one! Oh my God, (hugs him) thank you so much!