words in movies
JOEY: Yeah, but then the guy opens his beer and those girls run at him, so, everything seems to work out OK.
[Joey enters holding a letter]
JOEY: Hey, hey, check it out, guess what I got.
JOEY: No, my first fan mail.
JOEY: Oh my god, I got my very own stalker.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are standing around in the kitchen.]
JOEY: Hey, whaddya wanna do for dinner?
JOEY: Ah, the stalker.
CHANDLER: [Joey grabs a frying pan] Yes, hitting her with a frying pan's a good idea. We might wanna have a backup plan, though, just in case she isn't a cartoon.
JOEY: Let's get out of here.
JOEY: OK, we'll just leave, and when we pass her on the stairs, she won't know it's me 'cause we've never met. CHANDLER: That's how radio stars escape stalkers.
JOEY: She's comin'.
JOEY: Uhh, this is it, this is how we're gonna die. Ready?
[Joey opens the door and sees Erica (Brooke Shields). Joey gets a huge smile and Chandler squeezed the dish soap in the air.]
JOEY: Erica.
CHANDLER: Oh no no no, she's a total wack job. Yeah, she thinks that Joey is actually Dr. Drake Remore.
CHANDLER: Hey, just because this woman thinks she can actually see Joey through the magical box in her living room doesn't mean she's not a person. I mean, does she not deserve happiness, does she not deserve love? What're you lookin' at me for? He's the one who wants to boff the maniac.
[Scene: A nice restraunt. Joey and Erica are dining.]
JOEY: Yeah it is. . . what?
JOEY: Yeah, that was a tricky one. In reality, that operation takes like, over 10 hours, but they only showed it for 2 minites.
JOEY: No one.
JOEY: Good, otherwise my watch would fall off. [laughs hysterically]
JOEY: Alright, just one. [she licks his hands rather emphatically] Wow, you're good at that.
[Scene: Restraunt. Joey and Erica are still there.]
JOEY: Uhh, cause, uhh, I'm a neurosurgeon and that was clearly a case of, uh, uh, foodal chokage. Alright, look, I got to tell you something.
JOEY: But that's what...
JOEY: Hey I- [she cuts him off with a kiss]
JOEY: That's it, just hey. Like at the end of a dance, HEY! [she starts nibbling his hand] Hey. He-hey.
JOEY ON TV: Damnit, I'm a doctor, I'm not God.
JOEY: Oh my God, quick turn off the TV.
JOEY: Uh, I get Leslie out of the coma and then we make out.
MONICA: Rachel, it's a world where Joey is a neuro-surgeon.
JOEY: Hey Erica, c'mon in.
JOEY: Right, they uh, they choppered me in. What's up?
JOEY: Who?
JOEY: It's not what you think, that was...
JOEY: Alright look, that's it. I don't think we should see each other anymore, alright. Look, I know I should have told you this a long time ago but I am not Drake Remore, OK. I'm not even a doctor, I'm an actor. I just pretend to be a doctor.
JOEY: Somebody wanna help me out here?
RACHEL: Oh, I know, I know. [Turns on the TV. Joey in on it.]
JOEY: 'Cause it's a television show.
JOEY: I'm not Drake.
JOEY: Yes, I'm afraid it is. You deserve much better than me Erica. You deserve to be with the real Drake, he's the one you fell in love with. Go to Salem, find him, he's the guy for you.
JOEY: Right. Goodbye Erica, good luck in Salem. Take care
ERICA: I'll never forget you Hans. [Joey shuts the door in her face]
JOEY: OK, alright, the people who threw the water.
JOEY: This is amazing.
JOEY: I finally get a part on TV and the monkey's makin' movies.
ROSS: Hey, hey buddy, Marcel. Marcel. [Marcel doesn't react so Ross starts singing] In the jungle, the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight. [no reaction from Marcel, Monica and Joey urge him on] In the jungle, the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight. [Marcel looks over and everyone joins in] a-weema-way, a-weema-way..... [Marcel runs over and hops up on Ross's shoulder]
JOEY: Closed set. We know but we're friends with the monkey. [guard lets them in]
JOEY: Woah, dude, burn.
JOEY: Uh, excuse me. Jerry is the director, which one's he?
JOEY: Gotcha. Phoebs, walk with me.
JOEY: Well, we're, we're just goin' over here so that we can get away from the horrible flesh eating virus, for the love of God woman, listen to me. Is he lookin', is he lookin'?
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey and the girls are sitting at the couches.]
JOEY: Oh man, she's so smokin, she has got the greatest set of. . . no guys around, huh.
ROSS: Hey Joey I have to cancel racketball for tonight, that was Marcel's trainer. He's gonna let me have him for a couple of hours.
JOEY: You're blowin' me off for a monkey?
JOEY: Yeah, unless you hook up with a bunch of pigeons.
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross is setting up for his time with Marcel. Joey is there.]
JOEY: Oooh.
JOEY: Yaaahhh. Ahhh, candles. What'dya thinks gonna happen here tonight?
[Scene: A fancy restraunt (Marcel's). Joey, Ross, Chandler, Susie, and the Director's Assistant are there.]
JOEY: Forget about it.
JOEY: So, assistant to the director. That's a really exciting job, I mean, you must have a ton of cool responsibilities.
JOEY: So what're you guys gonna eat?
[Scene: Back at the restroom at Marcel's. Chandler is still in the stall, Joey comes in to go to the bathroom.]
[Joey starts whistling, Chandler finishes the tune. Joey whistles again.]
CHANDLER: Joey?
JOEY: Ma?
CHANDLER: Joey!
JOEY: Chandler? What're you still doin' here, I though you guys took off.
JOEY: Are you naked in there?
JOEY: Huh, you uh, you always wear panties?
JOEY: Wow, talk about your bad luck, I mean, the first time you try panties and someone walks off with your clothes.
JOEY: Well, let me see.
JOEY: Alright, alright. [climbs up in the next stall and looks over at Chandler] Woah, someone's flossing.
[Ross enters, sees Joey in the mirror]
ROSS: [to Joey who's looking over a toilet stall] Joey, some people don't like that.
JOEY: Chandler's wearing panties.
JOEY: Can't help you, I'm not wearing any.
JOEY: Oh, I'm gettin' heat from the guy in the hot pink thong.
[Back at the table. Joey and Ross return. Shortly, Chandler comes out, holding the stall door in front of him, and leaves.]
[Joey enters]
JOEY: Hey, hey, and I'm in the movie.
JOEY: One of the virus victims called in sick, so Cathy recommended me and boom, I'm dying on the gurney. Oh Ross, Marcel just finished his last scene if you want to go down there and say goodbye.
[Scene: Filming a scene from the movie. Joey is dying on a gurney, Van Damme is looking over him.]
JOEY: Aaaaagggghhhhh.
JOEY: Aaaaagggghhhhh.
JOEY: Aaaaagggghhhhh. Mommy
Joey: Oh my God.
JOEY: It really hit me last night. I'm gonna be on Days of our Lives. And then I started thinkin' about all of u, and how these are the days of our lives..
Joey: So what are you doing bringing her here?! Theres people here!
Joey: Ahh, I'm gonna go get some chicken. Want some?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is still watching the porn as Chandler enters.]
Joey: Well, we were! But Ross was talking so loud on his phone they threw us out!
Monica: (Panicking) Okay, umm, okay, umm (Rachel opens the door.) It's just Joey and Ross.
Joey: Come in. Thanks for comin back, umm, okay there have been a lot of people interested in the room, but I have narrowed it down and you are one of the finalists!
Joey: It's almost as if he knew.
Joey: Ross! Way to suck up to the family.
Joey: Why dont you like PBS, Pheebs?
Joey: (entering, wearing a tux) Hey!
[Scene: Joeys bedroom, he is awoken by the singing guy.]
Joey: Me neither, y'know what-
Joey: Come on Ross! Look, I-I dont have any brothers; Ill never get to be a best man!
Joey: (to Chandler) Hey, that is so great about the job.
Joey: Well, yeah, it was a really nice thing and all, but it made you feel really good right?
Joey: That he doesn't exist.
Joey: Yeah, the man wreaks! Smells like he went on a three day fishing trip and then ate some liquorice.
Rachel: Uh, yeah, well, see, he Joey knows, that I'm-I'm very insecure about my back and, and you're hugging me, so obviously you are not repulsed by it, yeah!
Joey: But I'm the host!
Joey: (to Phoebe) Hey, how you doin?
Joey: Orrr, you could follow him and see where he goes.
(Ross keeps staring at her, head on table. Chandler smacks him with a newspaper. Joey enters, Ross and Chandler laugh at him.)
Chandler: No-o-o! (To Monica) No? (She nods no.) No-o-o! Look Joey, heres the thing, Monica and I have decided to live together, here. So, Im gonna be moving out man.
Joey: Umm, well, what else could it be?
JOEY: No no no, behind it.
Joey: (on phone) Hey Mon!
Chandler: Yep! And! A beautiful woman agreed to go out with me. (Theyre stunned.) Joey wanted to ask her out, but uh, she picked me.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is still looking out the window as Joey enters.]
Joey: What?! What good is that gonna do anybody?
Joey: (A guy walks by) Bijan for men? (Another guy walks by) Bijan for men? (Another guy walks by) Bijan for men? (An attractive woman walks by.) Hey Annabelle.
(They all leave and Joey comes back in quickly.)
Phoebe: (on phone) Hi Joey.
Joey: Hey Pheebs!
Ross: (calling from Elizabeth's bathroom) Joey, it's Ross! I need some help!
Joey: (to Monica and Rachel) He's talking to London!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is balancing a mini hockey stick on his hand as Chandler enters from his room carrying a bunch of bills.]
Joey: (interrupting) Hey! Chef Geller! Yknow that little speech you made the other day? Well I got a problem with it!
(We see Joey who has puffed up his cheeks and Chandler nonchalantly reaches down and pinches Joeys nose shut. In a few seconds, Joey has to move because hes now forced to actually hold his breath.)
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Annie! Hi. Listen we got a problem with Joey Tribbiani, apparently he missed his audition. Who did you speak to in my office? Estelle, no, I don't know what I'm going to do with her. No. All right, so your husband leaves and burns down the apartment, the world does not stop.'
Ross: Huh, whats fish hooking... (Joey sticks his finger in Rosss mouth and pulls on his cheek, y'know like when you hook a fish.) (to Joey, sarcastic) Thanks man, that would have been really hard to describe. What is that taste?
Joey: Monica? What time is it?
Joey: Yeah, but what if he doesnt? Hes such a good duck.
Monica: Wait! What about Joey?
Joey: But it's dark out.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Maybe, I should call this place and get them to put my 'Days of Our Lives' on here. You know, juice this puppy up a little.
JOEY: You don't keep it over here on this table any more?
Joey: Hi!
Joey: How're you doing?
Joey: When I'm with a woman, I need to know that I'm going out with more people than she is.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is reading What to Expect When Youre Expecting as Rachel enters from her bedroom.]
Joey: Listen, I know the invitation says 6:00, but does that mean that you want people to get there at six, or the show is gonna start right at six?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Will has left and the rest of the gang is watching Joey finish the turkey.]
Joey: Well, youre timing couldnt be better. Shes not my girlfriend anymore.
JOEY: Thanks Ross. I really like that bird though...I'll take the dog though.
Joey: Um-hmm! Look, I-I-I don't know how much more of this I can take! Did you know he taped over my Baywatch tape with some show about bugs! My God! What if that had been porn?
Joey: Good luck. (to Monica) And Im still right!
Joey: Hey, you're back!
Joey: Then youre not invited. (Starts for the door again.)
Joey: God, that would be weird it that situation presented itself tonight, huh?
Joey: Hey, you're back too!
Joey: How was your conference?
Joey: You're not gonna like it.
Joey: You got married to fast.
Joey: You want my advice?
Joey: Hi, Rach.
Joey: I told ya.
Director: Listen Joey, we definitely want to see you for the callback on Saturday.
Joey: Who cares? You're Rachel! (To Chandler) Who's Kip?
Phoebe: Okay, but try and get Joey too.
Joey: (glares at him for a moment, then admits grudgingly) Maybe. Well, I just think you guys can do better than this house, you know? Or any other house for that matter.
Joey: Hey, how was your chef thing?
Joey: I put it on to scare Chandler!
Joey: (entering the apartment) Hey. Man, it is so hard to shop for girls.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, Joey, and Chandler are there as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: Oohh!! Ohh! Oh-oh-oh! Oh-oh!!
Joey: (starting to cry) Open the box!! (Runs over to do so.)
Joey: (shocked) Oh! Ohh! Oh!!
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa. What ah, what happened to playing the field?
(Joey puts two and two together.)
Joey: How?! When?!
Joey: IN LONDON!!!
(Joey thinks it over.)
Joey: (To Chandler) You?! (To Monica) And-and you?!
JOEY: "Heckles, you crack me up in science class. You're the funniest kid in school.
Joey: Aww, I don't want to see that!
Joey: Hello, Zelda.
Joey: (entering) Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!! None of that, not while you're living under my roof!
Joey: Hey!
Joey: And what?! Did you sleep with her?!
Joey: Yeah-yeah-yeah, and they had that beer! That uh
Joey: Oh, that sounds like fun, but weve got a ring to find!!
Joey: Yeah. (He goes over to her.)
Joey: Hey, Ross, you're okay with that?
Monica: Now calm down Joey.
Ross: Its like that everywhere, Joey! Okay, Mon, back me up here. Where you work the uh, waiters eat with the waiters, right? And the chefs eat with the other chefs, right?
Joey: I'll take it!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are there.]