words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is giving Rachel, Chandler, Phoebe, and Ross their bills.]
Joey: Okay Rach, that muffin and espresso, $4.50. Ross, double latte, $2.75. Chandler, coffee and a scone, $4.25. And Pheebs, herbal tea, $1.25. So, all together thats (pauses to figure the total) $12.75.
Joey: Hi!
Joey: Oh thats on the house courtesy of Joey Tribbiani.
Woman: Oh great! Well, tell him thanks. And since uh, Joey seems like such a nice guy, maybe we could go on a date sometime?
Joey: Well, hes not used to women being so forward with him; but uh, I good check with himHe says its okay. (She hands him her card.) Great! Thanks! Bye-bye!
Ross: Hey Joey, how come our stuff isnt free?
Joey: It will be when you look like that in a tight skirt! This is great! Im getting more dates than ever!
Phoebe: Yeah Joey that is so gross!
Joey: How about a scone on the house baby?
Rachel: Honey, no one thinks youre a pansy, but we do think you need a tissue. (She notices something hanging from Monicas nose, as does Joey.)
Rachel: And thats Phoebe (points), and thats Joey.
Joey: Hey, (in the Joey voice) how you doin?
Rachel: Dont!! (Joey backs away frightened.) (To Jill) Honey, what are you doing here?!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is working as Phoebe and Ross are sitting on the couch.]
Joey: (to a customer) Are you all finished here?
Joey: Great! (Joey takes his cookie and finishes it.)
Gunther: Okay, here are the tips for this morning. Jen gets 50, 50 for me, and Joey owes eight dollars.
Joey: What?!
Joey: Well if its free food, how come youre charging me for it?
Joey: Well, what if they came in third in a modeling contest?
Joey: (to a woman who came in third in a modeling contest) Sorry! (He grabs her muffin away and returns it to the serving tray.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is giving the bill to the same beautiful woman from before.]
Joey: Thatll be $3.85.
Joey: Its just I cant because my manager said I (Gets an idea) (Starts singing) "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Annie
Joey: (still singing) " Amy! Happy birthday to you!"
Joey: Yeah, not it here it isnt.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is singing Happy Birthday to yet another good-looking woman. Gunther is watching and is not very happy.]
Joey: (singing) "Happy birthday to you!"
Joey: What? No-no its her birthday!
Joey: But it really
Joey: Damnit! (Storms off.)
Joey: (overhearing them) Oh-ho, and mine!
Joey: So? Bring the dog back, you're a hero.
Joey: Oh my God! Thats huge! (Hugs him.) Wait a minute, why come I wasnt invited? And who was going to be your best man? Dont say, "Ross." Do not say, "Ross."
Joey: Wow! This looks great!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Joey and Phoebe are reading a scene from Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.]
Joey: Thank God!
Joey: Ah.
Joey: Ow!
Joey: (incredulous) Why should I help you?!
Joey: Well maybe we just take that one away. (Picks it up and throws it away.)
Joey: Yeah.
Monica: Joey!
Joey: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! We have a winner!
Joey: The fruit roll up.
Joey: Delicious.
Joey: (to the camera) Hello, Im Joey Tribbiani! Lets play Bamboozled! Erin, you get the first question! In hockey, who is known as The Great One?
(Stryker enters, only its not Joey playing him.)
[Scene: The casting directors office, Joey is there to show off to the director, so to speak.]
The Casting Director: Joey, this is awkward part.
Joey: Rach we had to get out of there because, look what I won! (He whips out the award for Best Supporting Actress that he accepted for Jessica.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is sitting on the chair, and theyre all talking.]
Rachel: Joey is says Best Supporting Actress!
Joey: Probably Monica and Chandler.
Rachel: Ugh, it was horrible! And-and the interview part went so well, y'know? I even made him laugh. He said something about a boat and I was like, "Well, yeah! If you've got enough life jackets!" (She starts laughing; Chandler and Joey are not amused.) Trust me, it was actually, it was very funny. Anyway, so we were saying good-bye and ugh!
Joey: (Very discouraged) Okay, is there anything else?
Ross: No, NO! (they're moving to the side of the bed, where they sit down) Look, I need to talk to Joey. I mean, you guys just broke up. Before anything more happens between us, I need to know he's okay with it.
Joey: (excitedly) Wow? Wow what?! Wow what?! Who youwhat?!!
Joey: (excitedly) Who you what? Who you what?!
Joey: What?!
Monica: (To Joey) They were lovers.
Joey: (entering) Hello!
Joey: Hey Rach. (Stares at her.)
Joey: Okay, I wanted to surprise you, but for your house-warming gift, I got you a baby-chick and a baby-duck!
Monica: Joey!
Joey: I don't know. We're talking about whipped fish, Monica. I'm just happy I'm keeping it down, y'know?
Joey: (looking around) You got me. I dont
Joey: Well-wellsee? Parents are comin!
Joey: (leaning down to her) Maybe youll order a little sangria?
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Yeah, he did, look... look, it's right there on the counter! Ha-ho-ho!
Joey: Nice move.
Joey: I dont think so.
Joey: We should really learn how to play the real way. (Moves another piece.)
Joey: And I know both of them, theyre really good. One of them is the guy from those allergy commercials whos always getting chased by those big flowers
Phoebe: Joeys!
Joey: Okay
Joey: Hey. (Laughs then seriously) It happened!
Joey: Oh good! Can I tell her?! Can I tell her?!
Joey: (starts singing) I wanna rock and roll all night! (Falls asleep.)
Joey: Why are you taking this away from me?
Joey: Oh-ho, you should get inside my head.
Joey: Hey.
Director: (to Joey) Good job, little buddy. That was some really good French. But I think we're gonna go with someone else for the part.
Joey: Yeah, theyre not coming.
(Joey enters, wearing a mouth guard like boxers wear.)
Joey: Look Mon, if you could just call my mom
Monica: Oh Joey!
(Monica gets up and heads for the bathroom, Chandler turns to watch her go and is startled to see Joey sitting in Monicas seat.)
[Joey and Ross get annoyed with Chandler's outburst.]
Joey: (entering) Hey.
Cecilia: So, the essence of the character is rooted in her confidence. So, when Jessica enters a room for instance, she owns everything and every person in that room. (Joey is nodding.) You try.
Ross: Sure, one year is paper, but two months is lapdance! (Joey nods his agreement.)
Joey: Right. Right. The wedding, gotcha. But I mean, its gonna start a little late right? I mean, weddings start late. Right?
Phoebe: Oh, somewhere Joeys head is exploding.
Joey: You should see the treatment I get when Im with that car! People are friendly; they-they wanna talk, and not just about the car! One guy gave me advice about my equity investments.
JOEY: Get outta here. This is our stop too.
Joey: (entering) Hey! Uh, Monica? Chandler? Can I talk to you guys for a second?
Chandler: The only reason you're doing this to Joey is because you're bored. Okay, it's not his fault that you're unemployed.
Joey: Oh yeah, thats just a little something for my huge gay fan base. (Winks at him.)
Joey: That sounds like another word to me! Are you gonna take this seriously? (Theres no response from Chandler.) Okay.
[Scene: The Roof, Ross and Joey are banging on the door.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still working on the seating chart as Joey enters.]
[Scene: Another hospital room, Joey has now been admitted and his doctor is about to break the bad news to him, Monica, and Chandler.]
Joey: (checks his watch) Damn! (runs out to work)
[Cut back to her room, Joey and Ross are sitting there waiting for her.]
Joey: All right, uh (To Ross) Oh hey, youve done this before Ross, well what did you say when you made up your vows?
Joey: Uh, hey, Rach let me ask you something. Uh, I was just over there talking to Monica and Chandler, boy they are really tight.
Joey: And I got custody of the kid, right? Now suppose the kid dies and-and I gotta buy a new kid.
JOEY: Hey, I'll be alright. I mean it's not like I'm starting from sqare one. I was Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives. Heh? I mean that's gotta have some kind of cache.
Joey: No-no! No, Im accepting it on her behalf. (He puts it up above the TV to display it.)
Chandler: (writes what Joey said and waits for him to go on) Yeah?
Joey: " when I look back over our time together "
Joey: Oh, I got it! How about saying something like, "Monica
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is eating breakfast as Chandler comes out of his bedroom, ripping his coat in the process.]
Joey: Oh. (Takes off the hat.) Sorry!
Joey: Hey!
Joey: (yelling through the door) Can we come it yet?! Were dying out here!
Joey: How is "Monica, I love your sweet ass," inappropriate?
Chandler: Im right! Right? There was like no chemistry between them. Before they had heat, and now theres no heat! Now you know what this means, Joey told us what this means!
Joey: Okay.
Joey: (shocked) Has it been that long?!
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yeah, hi! Mrs. Tribbiani? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica Geller. (Listens) Yeah Im just calling to say that Chandler and I uh, really hope you can make it to the wedding. Yeah, apparently a bunch of invitations that we sent werent delivered. Umm, I guess there was some screw up at the damn post office! (Joey nods his approval.) (Listens) T-Tell me about it! (Listens) Yeah, yeah, the US Post Office? No, more like US lost office! (Listens) What are they Irish?! (Joey gives her a thumbs up.)
Estelle: Joey! Its Estelle! I just talked to the casting people; they loved you!
(Joey leaves and Monica comes up for air.)
Joey: IN LONDON!!!
Joey: How?! When?!
(Joey thinks it over.)
Joey: All right! Man, this is unbelievable!
Joey: But it is a big deal!! I have to tell someone!
Joey: Okay, see that blind guy right there? I'm gonna bash his head in later.
Ross: Oh and you know what, it will be even better tomorrow, because I won't be constantly interrupted by Joey checking to see if they put chocolates on my pillow yet. (Someone knocks on the door, Ross goes to open and it's Joey, Rachel and Chandler).