words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is giving Rachel, Chandler, Phoebe, and Ross their bills.]
Joey: Okay Rach, that muffin and espresso, $4.50. Ross, double latte, $2.75. Chandler, coffee and a scone, $4.25. And Pheebs, herbal tea, $1.25. So, all together thats (pauses to figure the total) $12.75.
Joey: Hi!
Joey: Oh thats on the house courtesy of Joey Tribbiani.
Woman: Oh great! Well, tell him thanks. And since uh, Joey seems like such a nice guy, maybe we could go on a date sometime?
Joey: Well, hes not used to women being so forward with him; but uh, I good check with himHe says its okay. (She hands him her card.) Great! Thanks! Bye-bye!
Ross: Hey Joey, how come our stuff isnt free?
Joey: It will be when you look like that in a tight skirt! This is great! Im getting more dates than ever!
Phoebe: Yeah Joey that is so gross!
Joey: How about a scone on the house baby?
Rachel: Honey, no one thinks youre a pansy, but we do think you need a tissue. (She notices something hanging from Monicas nose, as does Joey.)
Rachel: And thats Phoebe (points), and thats Joey.
Joey: Hey, (in the Joey voice) how you doin?
Rachel: Dont!! (Joey backs away frightened.) (To Jill) Honey, what are you doing here?!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is working as Phoebe and Ross are sitting on the couch.]
Joey: (to a customer) Are you all finished here?
Joey: Great! (Joey takes his cookie and finishes it.)
Gunther: Okay, here are the tips for this morning. Jen gets 50, 50 for me, and Joey owes eight dollars.
Joey: What?!
Joey: Well if its free food, how come youre charging me for it?
Joey: Well, what if they came in third in a modeling contest?
Joey: (to a woman who came in third in a modeling contest) Sorry! (He grabs her muffin away and returns it to the serving tray.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is giving the bill to the same beautiful woman from before.]
Joey: Thatll be $3.85.
Joey: Its just I cant because my manager said I (Gets an idea) (Starts singing) "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Annie
Joey: (still singing) " Amy! Happy birthday to you!"
Joey: Yeah, not it here it isnt.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is singing Happy Birthday to yet another good-looking woman. Gunther is watching and is not very happy.]
Joey: (singing) "Happy birthday to you!"
Joey: What? No-no its her birthday!
Joey: But it really
Joey: Damnit! (Storms off.)
Joey: (overhearing them) Oh-ho, and mine!
Joey: Oh!
Joey: Tampa Bay's got a terrible team.
Joey: Ooh, look-look-look-look-look! I got Monica naked!
Joey: (bursts out laughing again) I can't believe you didn't know it was a line!
Joey: She really said that?
Joey: 'Tonight' tonight?
Joey: Wait a second, I see what youre trying to do here! You-youre trying to give me money again!
Joey: Did you get your money back?
Joey: How could you lose him?
Joey: Why would you need to say hi to them, youve been feeding them for four days?
Joey: (looking at himself) Man, I've got food all over me.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Ross. Joey, and Rachel are eating breakfast. Chandler is holding a bottle of Herseys Syrup.]
Monica: No youre fine. (Joey checks anyway.) All right well, do you think I could take Rachel?
(Chandler and Joey hold the puck and wave at the TV thing.)
Joey: All right, congratulations you lucky bastard! (hugs him)
Angela: Hey, Joey.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is watching TV.]
Joey: Marcel?
Joey: Oh. Then, no.
Joey: Marcel?
Joey: A monkey.
(Joey lets himself in, carrying a large paper shopping bag.)
Joey: Marcel?
Joey: Hey, hey. How was the first day?
Ross: (on phone) Yeah, hi, I was just beeped. (pause) No, Andr� is not here. (to Joey) Third time today. (on phone) Yes, I'm sure... No, sir. I don't perform those kind of services.
Joey: (looks at a girl walk in) see ordinarily I would talk to her, but my confidence is shaken did I sleep with her? Did I not sleep with her?
Ross: OK, turn around. (Joey looks taken aback) I just don't want you staring at me when I'm doing this.
Joey: Aw, I know all about Kip!
Chandler: See, it pays to know the man who wears my shoes. (Joey and Ross wonder what he means) Me.
Rachel: I don't know, you know, just the way she waltzed in here all smart, and tall! You know, and just swept Joey off his feet... I mean, nobody else has a chance!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler are there. Ross is still talking to the beautiful woman.]
Joey: Oh alright. Umm, well, okay, I usually start by having a bottle of wine sent to my table from a fan.
Ross: Uh.. uh.. Well, Joey and I had discussed getting in an early morning racquetball game. But, um, apparently, somebody overslept.
Joey: Her answer machine?
Joey: Okay, the next situation is for Rachel. The wedding is about to start you walk into the back room and you find Monica taking a nap with Ross. (Ross lies on the floor.) Ill be Monica. Go! (He jumps down and cuddles up with Ross.)
Joey: Oh-Wha-Ho! What are you middle naming me for?! I left you a note!
Rachel: So hot I cried myself to sleep last night. (Joey and Chandler clap their hands)
Joey: Two thousand dollars!? What do you think I am? I soap opera star!?
Joey: Yeah, Ross. You and the baby just need better blocking.
Joey: Yeah, yeah, okay. Uh, look buddy, I came with that girl, and I had this plan to kiss her at the new years countdown Im trying to win her over, so I was wondering if..
Joey: Will you grow up? I'm not talking about sexy stuff, but, like, when I'm cooking naked.
Joey: Oh, great, pretty soon they'll be back together.
Joey: Maybe she never got your message.
Joey: Hey! No! Get your France-going-arms away from me. (He walks out, and Rachel follows him)
(Joey and Ross laughs)
Joey: No I mean it! I cant believe they would do this to you! And to your fans! I mean they are going to be devastated! Heart broken! They love you so much!
Joey: ..Naughty!
Joey: (intrigued) Yeah?
(Joey exits.)
(Chandler seeing that Joey has his eyes closed sneaks over and picks up the chicken. The chicken starts flapping it's wings in protest as Chandler holds the chicken inches from Joey's face. Joey stops yelling and upon opening his eyes sees the chicken, screams, and falls to the ground in horror.)
(Joey and Ross laughs)
Phoebe: Tiger! (Joey moves his hand in an attempt to do the chord, in fact he does it with each name.) Dragon! Iceberg!! (He fails.) Joseph, did you even study at all last night?
Joey: Absolutely! I could be a vegetarian. Theres no meat in beer, right?
Joey: If you get a second, find out where she got that cheeseburger.
Joey: Oh yeah, sure, that makes sense. Yeah. Cause you already told her you love her and she didnt say it back, then she called you and told you that theres another guy, so yeah, go to London thatll scare her!
(They hug and Joey enters.)
Joey: Oh... Yeah, you do.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey returns from his audition and finds everyone but Phoebe there.]
Monica: Joey!!
(Phoebe, Joey and Ross laughs)
JOEY: If it's not you, this is a horrible story.
Phoebe: Okay, time to bring up the rest of the cups. (She goes and opens the door to Joey.) Oh, hi Joey!
(Phoebe, Joey and Ross laughs again)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone except Joey is decorating for Christmas.]
Charlton Heston: Hello! Whos in there? (He opens to curtain to reveal a naked and wet Joey.)
Joey: Big day.
(Joey and Chandler laughs)
(Ross gets up and goes over to the counter and Joey follows him.)
Joey: I dont know. I like her, you know. Shes different. Theres uh, somethin about her.
Chandler: Well, that's what we said about Joey...
Joey: Well, let me ask you something, was Kip a better roommate than me?
Joey: Uh, de-clawing cats. Hey, tell ya what. Let me walk you home. Well stop by every news stand and burn every copy of their Times and the Post.
Joey: Chandler... hey... (he goes towards his room but he stops near Emma's cot) Rach... what's Hugsy doin' in the crib with Emma? (he looks puzzled)
Joey: You call that delicious?
Joey: Plus, y'know, I think it should be Joe. Y'know, Joey makes me sound like I'm, I dunno, this big. (Waitress looks at him funny) Which I'm not.
(Phoebe, Joey and Ross laugh)
[Scene: Ross walks into Central Perk, wearing a pink and white ladies shirt. Joey is on the couch]
Joey: Joseph Stalin. I think you'd remember that!
Chandler and Joey: Hey.
Joey: Where've you been?
Joey: Isn't there any way you can keep him?
Joey: (screaming) Why God?!! Why?!! We had a deal!! Let the others grow old! Not me!! (He buries his head in Phoebes lap for comfort.)
Joey: (to Rachel) Bub!!! (Points at her and quiets Rachel.) (To Dina) I cant believe this! Youre the good one! You went to college! Both years! Who did this to you?!
Joey: Ahh, yes. (Pushes Rachel in front of himself so that she could do the talking.)
(Joey enters and looks on approvingly.)
Joey: Yeah, we know, but there's a baby suckin' on it.
Joey: But I made cards!!
Joey: Friends, family, dog... Thank you all for being here to witness this blessed event. The cold has now spread to my special place... so I'm gonna do the short version of this. Phoebe and Mike are perfect for each other. And I know I speak for every one here... when I wish them a lifetime of happiness. Who has the rings?
Joey: All right. (Moves closer.)
Joey: What?
Joey: So, tell me. Was it like you and Chandler, and then you and me, or you and me and Chandler?
Joey: Dude, if you go back out there, youre gonna be Dead Ross!
Joey: Hey-hey, whos your friend? (Erin turns around to face Joey, startling him) Hey!!
Joey: Stegosaurus!
JOEY: I don't know how to tell you this but, uh . . . I think Monica's cheatin' on ya.� I told you shouldn't have married someone so much hotter than you.
Joey: Ohh! (Realises it was all a trick to get Phoebe to name the baby Chandler.)
JOEY: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are sitting on the couch reading.]
Joey: my god woman! How many people do you have to had been with not to remember any of this?
Joey: What about Andr�?