words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is giving Rachel, Chandler, Phoebe, and Ross their bills.]
Joey: Okay Rach, that muffin and espresso, $4.50. Ross, double latte, $2.75. Chandler, coffee and a scone, $4.25. And Pheebs, herbal tea, $1.25. So, all together thats (pauses to figure the total) $12.75.
Joey: Hi!
Joey: Oh thats on the house courtesy of Joey Tribbiani.
Woman: Oh great! Well, tell him thanks. And since uh, Joey seems like such a nice guy, maybe we could go on a date sometime?
Joey: Well, hes not used to women being so forward with him; but uh, I good check with himHe says its okay. (She hands him her card.) Great! Thanks! Bye-bye!
Ross: Hey Joey, how come our stuff isnt free?
Joey: It will be when you look like that in a tight skirt! This is great! Im getting more dates than ever!
Phoebe: Yeah Joey that is so gross!
Joey: How about a scone on the house baby?
Rachel: Honey, no one thinks youre a pansy, but we do think you need a tissue. (She notices something hanging from Monicas nose, as does Joey.)
Rachel: And thats Phoebe (points), and thats Joey.
Joey: Hey, (in the Joey voice) how you doin?
Rachel: Dont!! (Joey backs away frightened.) (To Jill) Honey, what are you doing here?!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is working as Phoebe and Ross are sitting on the couch.]
Joey: (to a customer) Are you all finished here?
Joey: Great! (Joey takes his cookie and finishes it.)
Gunther: Okay, here are the tips for this morning. Jen gets 50, 50 for me, and Joey owes eight dollars.
Joey: What?!
Joey: Well if its free food, how come youre charging me for it?
Joey: Well, what if they came in third in a modeling contest?
Joey: (to a woman who came in third in a modeling contest) Sorry! (He grabs her muffin away and returns it to the serving tray.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is giving the bill to the same beautiful woman from before.]
Joey: Thatll be $3.85.
Joey: Its just I cant because my manager said I (Gets an idea) (Starts singing) "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Annie
Joey: (still singing) " Amy! Happy birthday to you!"
Joey: Yeah, not it here it isnt.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is singing Happy Birthday to yet another good-looking woman. Gunther is watching and is not very happy.]
Joey: (singing) "Happy birthday to you!"
Joey: What? No-no its her birthday!
Joey: But it really
Joey: Damnit! (Storms off.)
Joey: (overhearing them) Oh-ho, and mine!
Joey: (goes over to Chandler) Hey buddy! Hows it going?
Joey: (on phone) Hey! I do too think about the consequences of my decisions! (Listens) What gives you the right to (Listens) Go to hell! (Hangs up the phone and opens the fridge.) Stupid guy on my phone.
[Scene: The Theatre, after the party. Joey is trying to comfort Kate.]
Joey: Phoebe, could you do me a favour? Could you try this on? I just wanna make sure it fits.
Joey: No, no, it's not a girl, it's... a brand new Hugsy!
Joey: Definitely!
Joey: Yeah. Whew, it's hot with all of this stuff on. I ah, I better not do any, I don't know, lunges. (starts doing lunges)
[Scene: Allesandros, continued from earlier. The other waiters are gone and Monica is confronting Joey about his not speaking up.]
Joey: All right!
Monica: Oh wait, Joey, you cant go like that! You stink!
Rachel: Heywhoa, slow down. (Gets a whiff of him) No, keep moving. (Joey runs off.) Wow!
Joey: (entering) Hey Gunther, have you uh, have you seen Chandler?
Joey: Guggly worm.
(Joey climbs up on the counter and starts looking at the top of the cabinets.)
[cut back to Chandler and Joeys.]
Joey: Oh, yeah, that. All right, means that much to ya, Ill let you have her.
Joey: Oh no! How can she do that when she's never shown any interest in you?!?
Joey: Interesting.
JOEY: I just had a glass.
[Scene: Joey's new apartment. Everyone but Chandler is there. Joey has decorated the place with tons of tacky stuff.]
Joey: Don't worry, Chandler, it's not a globe of the United States.
Joey: How ya doin?
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Oh yeah, yeah.
Charlton Heston: Joey, right?
Joey: Oh no-no-no, you dont understand
Joey: Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Joey: Yes sir! Yes sir, Im-Im(he starts to leave)
(Chandler and Joey smile, but when Ross turns away look at each other with looks of horror.)
Joey: Yeah, its okay. I know what a mainsail is. (Points to it. Its the larger sail.) I know, I know to duck when the boom comes across. I-I know port is right.
Joey: Woo-hoo! All right! Yeah!
Joey: Hey, what happened to your fancy chefs jacket? (sees theres a burn spot on it)
Joey: I dont wanna.
Joey: Yeah, all right. (Ross enters.)
[Time Lapse: the crowd has left and only Mona, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are still watching to see who will be able to move the others arm first. An event that has yet to happen.]
Joey: I know what it did! Nothing.
Joey: Ohh, Nothing.
Ross: (to Rachel) Look both, Joey and Monica feel the same way that I do. No-no-no-no.
Joey: Like this. (Shrugs)
ESTELLE: Joey, I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told Al Minser and his pyramid of dogs. Take any job you can get and don't make on the floor.
Joey: Look, if Im bringing home a woman who cant stand being around a baby, then maybe I dont want to be with that woman! Or maybe well just do it in the bathroom of the club!
Joey: Yeah, come on, think about it. Youre 18, okay, shes 44, when youre 36, shes gonna be 88.
[Time lapse, Ross and Rachel are talking, Joey is on the couch, and Monica and Phoebe are out of the room.]
Joey: And there it is.
Phoebe: I will find a selfless good deed! 'Cause I just gave birth to three children and I will not let them be raised in a world where Joey is right!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Monica is busy killing Chandle and Joey at foosball.]
Joey: Hey. Y'know with that goatee you kinda look like Satan.
Joey: Hey! Whats up?
Joey: (also downtrodden) Yeah, I had to teach Ross my bit because I actually didn't get a callback.
Rachel: (entering, with Joey) Hey!
Rachel: Its coming from Joey!
JOEY: Oh, is today the day you're gonna tell them about you two?
Joey: Hey-hey, whats going on?
Joey: Thanks for telling me!
Rachel: Joey, just because theyre not getting married doesnt mean this is going to be a disaster. Maybe they have a plan!
Chandler: (to Janice) Okay. (to Joey) Joey, trade lives with me!
Joey: Ross! (Laughs) Theyre gonna kill you!
Monica: Does it have to do with Joey?
JOEY: Monica, relax, go get a beer.
Joey: No.
Joey: I totally dont know what youre talking about.
Joey: Ross-Ross-Ross-Ross! Stay away from that guy (Points), and that guy (Points). And that oneDude! Theyre all huge!
Ross: JOEY!!!!!!
Ross: (to Joey) How 'bout instead you, go get changed! (to Chandler) You, give him back his underwear! I'm gonna go get a cab, and I want everyone down stairs in two minutes! Monica!
Joey: Well, why do you call him Gandolf?
Joey: I need something sweet.
[Ross grabs the gas can he brought along, and walks through Joeys sign destroying it.]
Joey: I wanted to go to the strip club!
Joey: Thanks man, but I think it makes a stronger statement if I ask for it myself, y'know.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Chandler are watching TV as Joey enters.]
Joey: Well, maybe I can help. (he grabs her head passionately, closes his eyes and kisses... Ross in Rachel's dress! He realises it too late, and when he does, pushes Ross's/Rachel's head away)
Joey: The Red Ross! Okay.
(The door opens, and there is Gladys, still in her frame though. Joey panics and moves frantically, screaming. Then there is laughing, and the painting is lowered. It was Rachel holding Gladys.)
Joey: Question. Was ah, Egg the Gellers! the war cry of your neighbourhood?
Joey: Yeah, sure.
Rachel: Well, its a long story, but umm I broke Joeys chair
Joey: Yeah?
Joey: Who loses fifty seven coin tosses in a row? Head she wins, tails I lose. (he stops and starts realizing something) Wait a minute...
[Joey opens the door and picks up the remnants of the newspaper.
Joey: Wow! You guys seem to be having a good time.
Joey: Hey thats what all my relationships are like.
Joey: Yeah, what going on?
Janice: (entering and singing) Monica and Rachel had syrup, now I can get my man to cheer up. (laughs hysterically) Good morning Joey.
Joey: I was just outside Barcelona hiking in the foothills of Mount Tibidabo. I was at the end of this path and I came to a clearing and there was a lake, very secluded. And there were tall trees all around. (Whispering) It was dead silent. Gorgeous. (Softly) And across the lake I saw a beautiful woman bathing herself but she was crying
Joey: Awwww!
Chandler and Joey: Surprise!!
Joey: What-what-what is so funny?
Joey: Now thats a thinker.
Joey: Gettin drunk and going to a strip club.
[Scene: Allesandros, Joey is coming back in with his coat on.]
Joey: A little salami.
Joey: Pastrami.
JOEY: Oh, well. Just ask her how long she's gonna live. Women live longer than men.
Monica: There it is. Joey, what are you doing?
CHAN: OK, I guess this is gonna seem kinda bittersweet now, but... Joey, that's who.
Joey: You all right Chandler? Is there something funny about that name?
Joey: Welcome to America. (They both kiss.)
Joey: If you didnt want to play, why did you come to the party?
Joey: Well, hes too shy, he doesnt thing hes good enough to dance with girls yet.
Joey: Phoebe, what-what are you doing?!