words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is eyeing a beautiful woman at the counter, and Joey and Chandler are egging him on to go talk to her. No pun intended. I mean it.]
Joey: I'm tellin' you Ross, she wants you.
Joey: You're in!
Joey: Excuse me, could we get an egg over here, still in the shell? Thanks.
Joey: Yeah, you're gonna go up to her and say, "Here's your egg back, I'm returning your egg."
Joey: Think it'll work?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler are there. Ross is still talking to the beautiful woman.]
Joey: Actually, tomorrow night kinda depends on how tonight goes.
Joey: No, no, no, don't you dare bail on me. The only reason she's goin' out with me is because I said I could bring a friend for her friend.
Joey: Pathetic mess? I know, butcome on, man, she's needy, she's vulnerable. I'm thinkin', cha-ching! (Rachel throws a roll at Joey. He picks it up and eats it.) Thanks. Look, you have not been out with a woman since Janice. You're doin' this.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Joey and Chandler are there, waiting for their dates to show up.]
Joey: (Looking at himself in the reflection on a knife) How do I look?
Lorraine: Hi, Joey. Well well, look what you brought. Very nice.
Lorraine: She's checking the coats. Joey, I'm gonna go wash the cab smell off my hands. Will you get me a white Zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice.
(Lorraine leaves. Joey shakes his head as though to say, 'It can't be the same Janice.' Janice enters.)
[Scene: The bathroom at the restaurant, Chandler and Joey are talking.]
Joey: No, no, no, don't! I've been waitin' for like, forever to go out with Lorraine. Just calm down.
Joey: (at the urinal) Can you stop yellin'? You're makin' me nervous, and I can't go when I'm nervous.
Chandler: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you're right. (gets up right behind Joey and yells in his ear) Come on, do it, do it, go, come on!!!
[Scene: The Restaurant, Joey, Lorraine, Chandler, and Janice are at the table. Joey and Lorraine are seated very close, Chandler and Janice have backed their chairs away from one another.]
Joey: Good for you. (jumps suddenly) Uh, quarters or rolls of quarters?
Joey: (to Lorraine) We can't do that.
Joey: Uh, can I talk to you for a second, over there?
(Chandler and Joey leave the table.)
Joey: Uh, we might be leaving now.
Joey: She said she wants to slather my body with stuff and then lick it off. I'm not even sure what slathering is, but I definitely want to be a part of it.
Joey: You're right, I'm sorry. You're right.
Joey: I'm outta here. Here's my credit card. Dinner's on me. I'm sorry, Chandler.
(Joey leaves with Lorraine. Chandler sits back down with Janice.)
(Joey enters from the stairs.)
Rachel: Oh, Joey, look who it is.
Joey: (in disbelief) Whoa.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are there. Chandler is preparing to dump Janice again.]
Joey: I don't know. You dumped her on New Year's.
Janice: Hello, Joey, our little matchmaker. I could just kiss you all over, and I'm gonna!
(Janice kisses Joey all over. Chandler smiles.)
Joey: (to Chandler) If you don't do it, I will.
Kristen: Well uh, Ross? This is Joey. Joey? Ross.
Joey: In the dream I did enjoy the closeness.
Joey: Hi!
Joey: (on tv) Oh, you said it Mike. (rips open the carton and spills milk on the counter) Aw! There's got to be a better way!
MONICA: Joey, you know, maybe your just not used to kissing men, maybe you just tensed up a little, maybe that's what you need to work on.
Chandler: Whoa-whoa-whoa! You broke Joeys chair?
Joey: How do you figure?
[Scene: Joey and Rachels, Joey is sitting behind a red drum set.]
Joey: So, there was no miracle?!
Joey: Your chair?!
Chandler: Joey you broke my chair!!
Joey: Sure! I would love to wait with you guys! Thanks! (Sits down.)
Joey: Thats right!
Joey: Yeah! We are!
Chandler: So Joey breaks my chair and I get nothing!
(Rachel whispers in Joeys ear.)
Joey: Chandler! I don't need luck. I have thought this through!
Dina: Joey, I am scared to death about this. But I really think I can do it, Im just gonna need some help. And Bobbys gonna be here the whole time.
Ross: So Joey umm, you look familiar. Are uh, are you on TV or something?
Joey: Oh, Oh, you're right! I don't want that. I can't date her!
Joey: Oh yeah.
Joey: Oh No-no-no-no-no-no-no! He went over to Ross' to bring the dog back here!
Joey: Ahhh (To Rachel) Eh?
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Well I dont like to say it out loud, but, yeah! Dont feel bad man, we all have our strengths. Youre better with numbers and stuff.
Joey: They do!
Kristen: Well Joey doesnt like to talk about it but, hes one of the stars of Days Of Our Lives.
Joey: Come on Rach! Look, turning thirty is not that big a deal.
JOEY: That's it, just hey. Like at the end of a dance, HEY! [she starts nibbling his hand] Hey. He-hey.
Joey: I'm sorry! (He stands up) This never happened to me before! I'm an expert at taking off bras! I can do it with one hand! I can do it with my eyes closed! One time I just looked at one, and it popped open! I blame your bra!
Joey: Yeah, youre roommate is a soap opera star.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
Joey: A woman in a mans body.
The Director: (entering, drunk) I am hurt! (to Joey and Kate) A plague on both your houses! (walks away)
Ross and Joey: No-no-no-no-no. (They start to turn away, but Phoebe stops them, and turns them back to face her.)
Joey: How could this happen to me?! Yesterday I had two TV shows! Today, I got nothin!
Joey: So yknow Ross its funny cause, you look familiar to me too. Have you ever been married?
Joey: Yeah, but uh, I dont want to be up too late, so uh, Ill have a decaf.
Chandler: (To Joey) Would you put that back on?! Monicas gonna be here any minute!
Joey: But it hurts my Joeys Apple.
(Joey walks away and Mr. and Mrs. Geller walk up. Mr. Geller is wearing this ancient velvet tuxedo.)
(Phoebe turns and looks at Monica, while Joey frantically motions to Chandler to help him out.)
Joey: Well actually
Woman: (To Joey) Is this yours?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is showing off the entertainment center.]
Joey: Thanks, Rach. Look, you guys are just terrific. Yknow? Now, how about clearing out of here so I can get some new customers. Its all about turnover.
Joey: Yep. (Starts for Monicas room, but Chandler stops him.)
JOEY: Aww, Rach, I think you look cute (kisses her on the cheek, then looks at Ross) And you, uh, you, you I could eat with a spoon (goes to kiss him).
Joey: Now that youre a couple, we dont get two presents from you guys?
Joey: So youve just married the one time then?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, Ross, and Chandler are watching Phoebe polish the daisies on her bike outside.]
Rachel: Ooh... oooh... (pause) (Rachel is all bah-jiggity about Joey) oh, ah... (pause) (to Monica) Can I ask you a question?
Joey: Oh-ho-kay, Im talking to the king. (starts to go to a back room)
Joey: Uh-huh look, the only reason I can over here was to settle things between us! Okay? Youve done a lot for me and my career, I wanted to pay you back so I took you to the premiere but you missed it! Okay, so how much do I owe you?
Joey: Ah. Hm. (To Kathy) Wanna go to bed?
Joey: Will you quit hoggin it!
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe and Joey are there.]
Rachel: Joey! It is an auction! You dont guess, you buy!
Joey: Yeah!!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Tag are making out on the couch.]
Phoebe: (To Joey) Okay quick, help me get this off! (Motions to her top.)
Joey: Like what?
Joey: Monicas chicken parm! Ill take care of it. (He picks up the phone) Hey Mr. Treeger, its Joey Tribbiani. Listen, I need to get into Monica and Chandlers apartment. Its an emergency. (Listens) Uhh, gas leak! Yeah oh, and bring garlic bread. (Hangs up.)
Joey: Oh, I dont know Pheebs. Itll be okay.
Ross: Yes. And another time after that. Boy Im getting hungry! Hey Joey, have you ever been so hungry on a date that when a girl goes to the bathroom you eat some of her food?
[Cut outside, Joey is catching up with Phoebe.]
(Joey starts to walk away, but stops.)
Rachel: Hey Joey, can I
Joey: Okay! (Runs off downstairs.)
Joey: Yes!
Joey: Oh, come on Rach! My turn just started!
Joey: Oh. Okay. Hey, can I ride this outside?
Phoebe: No, no, no! Don't call her! You wait for her to call you (Joey considers it)
Joey: (laughs that one off) Yeah. So uh Ross, well nowwhy did that first marriage breakup? Was it because the woman was straight or she was a lesbian?
Joey: No.
Joey: (entering, excited) Hey!
Joey: Nice.
Joey: And-and-and not only that, Im gettin a new brain!!
Joey: Dude, you soooo need this car.
Joey: Uh Cecilia Monroe, she plays Jessica Lockhart.
Rachel: Okay, come onJoey, Ill buy you a new one! All right? Well go down to the store right now and well-well get you a new chair.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is pouring Rachel some coffee.]
Joey: (quietly) My chair heels itself.
(Phoebe throws another jab, and lands it on Joeys nose, causing it to bleed.)
Joey: Say what?
Joey: Umm
Joey: Oh uh, one of the writers.
Joey: Oh anyway, I just wanted to say how wonderful I think you are.
Joey: (quickly) I dont know. Why? Did you hear something?
Joey: No. It just seems like Ross is the kind of a guy that would marry a woman on the verge of being a lesbian and then push her over the edge.
Joey: Okay.
Joey: (whispers to Phoebe and Rachel) Hey, thank you so much. (They both exit.)
Joey and Ross: No. No.
Joey: (watching the discussion) Hey Chandler, do we know that lady?
Joey: (interrupting) Was his name Angus? (Monica and Chandler laugh.)
[Phoebe slams on the breaks. Joey and Rachel are thrown forward into the pillows in their laps.]
Joey: Im so sorry. Look, if it was up to me you would never leave the show.
Joey: See you in 2003. (She walks away.)
Joey: Joey.
(She turns her head away and when shes not looking, Phoebe shakes her head and mouths, "No, Im not." Both Joey and Ross smile, look at each other, and then stop smiling.)