words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is talking to Ross]
Joey: Theres this woman, that I like. A lot. Well, its complicated. Shes with this other guy. For a long time. And I could never do that to the guy, yknow? Ccause were really good friends.
Joey: Yeah, hes the best.
Joey: Oh, I dont know.
Ross: Joey, its worth finding out. I mean, if you really like her.
Joey: I do! So much! I cant stop thinking about her! I cant sleep, I
Ross: Okay, Joey, you know what? You have to go for it. How often does this happen to you, huh? You owe it to yourself. (Walks towards the door until )
Joey: Its Rachel.
Joey: Yes.
Joey: Yes. I like Rachel.
Joey: (startled) Yeah, okay but look, buy uhHey-hey, yknow, yknow who else I like? You! And it-it doesnt get said enough. I like you Ross.
Joey: Yeah, but its not a big deal.
Joey: Im an actor, yknow? As-as a group, we tend to be over dramatic.
Joey: Look no, I-I know its bad, and I know its wrong. Okay? But-but its not like anythings ever gonna happen. Yknow? These-these are just feelings, theyre gonna go away.
Joey: Oh come on Ross! Hey Ross-Ross dont
(He exits and starts to walk away, passes a window, stops, and says "Rachel?!" again. Joey sighs and turns around to face Gunther.)
Monica: I just talked to Joey, I justI want to see how you were.
Ross: Oh yknow, I stillI cant believe it. Joey and Rachel I mean its Its like you and me going out, only weirder!
Ross: Sure, because women never like Joey. Yknow, I think hes a virgin.
Monica: Joey hes not even thinking about going after Rachel!
Monica: Honey I cant even imagine how hard this must be for you. But, I dont want you to lose Joey over it. And right now he just needs to know that youre still his friend.
[Scene: Joeys Apartment, theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it to Ross.]
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Look, I understand if you came by to hit me, I deserve it.
Joey: Oh what then? Kick me?
Joey: (getting worried) Bite me?
Joey: Oh nowHey Ross-Ross! Do you wanna-wanna come in for a beer or something?
Joey: Do uh, do you got any beer? All-all I got is this melon stuff that Rachel left. I dont
Joey: (pouring two glasses) Hey look Ross, you need to understand something okay? I uh I am never gonna act on this Rachel thing, okay? I-I would never do anything to jeopardize my friendship with you. (He hands Ross a glass.)
(They clink glasses and take a drink. Ross likes it, Joey hates it. Then Ross sees Joey hating it, mimics he hates it as well.)
Joey: Anyway, it uh look itll just take me a while to get over her, thats all. Im not even sure how to do that, I mean Ive never been in love before so
Joey: Yeah, I thought you knew that.
Joey: Wow. Hey look, if it helps, I dont want to feel this way. Honest. I just keep thinking, "Ah, Ill get over this." Yknow? I justIt just keeps gettin harder. I dont, I dont know what to do. Yknow? What do I do?
Joey: Okay thats the green stuff talkin.
Joey: But what if uhand Im not saying she will beBut
Joey: Are you sure?
Joey: Hey thanks.
Joey: Oh my God I have to tell her! I havent even thought about what I will say. What should I say?
Joey: Im sorry, youre right. What am I gonna say? (He takes another sip of the green stuff and recoils at the taste.) Oh!
Ross: Yeah, tell me about it. (He stands up, turns his back to Joey, and enjoys another sip.)
[Scene: Outside Ross and Rachel's, Joey walks up to knock on the door, but stops.]
Joey: Okay. Okay, I can do this. I can tell her how I feel. Just uh, just stand up straight. (Does so.) Take a couple deep breaths. (Does so.) Look confident. (Does so as Rachel opens the door and startles him.)
Rachel: Joey? Whats up?
Joey: I uh, I just came by because I-I want to talk to you about something.
Joey: Here? In the hall? What are we animals?
Joey: Okay umm, I just came by to tell you that I want to have dinner with you tonight. Thats all.
Joey: Okay. Thats good. Okay, that give you a couple hours to prepare what youre gonna say. Good. Yeah. (Someone comes out of his apartment and it startles Joey again.) Dont you people ever knock?!
[Scene: A restaurant, Joey and Rachel are having dinner.]
Rachel: and I know Chandler is kidding but it happens every time he touches my stomach. I mean Im really worried the babys not going to like him. (Joey is staring at the table.) Are you okay?
Joey: What? Yeah! Sure! Uh, look at the uh, the reason (Exhales slowly)Is it hot in here?
Joey: I would, but this is a nice place and my T-shirt has a picture of Calvin doing Hobbs.
Joey: Yeah. Sure. (They both half stand up, Joey pulls the neck of his sweater out, and Rachel looks down it to see his T-shirt.)
Joey: Uh How long have we known each other?
Joey: Uh-huh, long time.
Joey: But over the past few weeks
(A waiter runs over interrupting Joey.)
Joey: Actually uh, could you give us a second?
Waiter: Sure. Sure. (Turns away, then turns back) Seconds up! (Joey glares at him.) Not that kind of table. (He walks away.)
Joey: Im not quite sure.
Joey: Yeah, here we are. Uhh I I think Im falling in love with you.
Joey: Im falling in love with you.
Rachel: (looking around) Who are you talking too? Oh, youre kidding! Oh, its a joke! (Laughs.) Its funny. Its funny. I dont get it. (Joey doesnt say any thing and Rachel realizes its not a joke.) Oh. (Pause) Okay. Umm I-I uh, wow. Are you uh How did umm When?
Joey: Does it really matter?
Joey: Okay look Rach, I know this is a lot. You dont have to say anything. You-you uh, you take as much time as you need. (Long pause as Rachel says nothing.) Okay, you gotta say something!
Rachel: Joey, Joey I love you so much, but I
Joey: But. (Hangs his head down.)
Rachel: Joey.
Joey: Yeah-yeah right. Thats okay. Thats fine. Thats uh, pretty much what I was expecting. So uh, its no big deal. All right? I think Im gonna go. (Stands up.)
Rachel: No! Joey please! Please dont! Please dont leave like this! Now come on, you cannot do this to a pregnant woman! (Starts to cry.)
Joey: Dont start doing that. You cant do that Rach, cause then youre gonna make me do that. (Starts to cry.) Oh, here we go! (Sits down next to her.)
Joey: Sure!
Rachel: Oh Joey honey I dont I dont want to lose
Joey: Hey-hey-hey, hey! You cant. Okay? Ever!
Joey: Oh no-no Rach, please, dont be sorry. Okay? Dont be sorry. (They hug again.) Yknow I was only kidding you.
[Scene: A restaurant, Joey and Rachel are still hugging as a waiter walks by the table to talk to the annoying waiter from before who is watching.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, everyone is there and they are finishing watching the first episode of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. Joey is of course Mac.]
Joey: (examining the tickets) Oh my God! Those are almost right on the floor!
Joey: Right, right, right, well, she wants to go to all this cultural places and I don't know how to talk about that stuff. You gotta help me out!
Joey: What are they doing out here? The coasts all the way over there. (Points to the coast, meanwhile there is coast behind him.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Chandler are discussing stage names.]
Joey: I ended up at Ross's place. Oh, I musta missed counted or something. (Looks out the window.) Damn! She's not there anymore. Oh, l-l-look, Ross is doing his 'Watching TV' bit. (We see Ross sitting on the couch and flipping through the channels on his remote.)
JOEY: It certainly is a miracle.
Ross: (to Joey) Good morning. Nice breasts by the way.
Ross: Wait a minute, is it because Joey and I didnt invite him to that Knicks game a couple of weeks ago?
Joey: Oh, you told her you broke all the plates, huh? (Chandler walks back, looking angrily at Joey)
Joey: Get back in there! (Rachel re-enters her room and closes the door.)
Joey: Wait! Wait! Maybe shes a hooker and a stripper, but she got confused about what shes supposed to do.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Chandler is reading a magazine as Ross hands him a beer.]
Monica: No Joey! Chandler could be your assistant! See, he could answer all of your fan mail and stuff!
[Scene: Central Perk, the same scene is continued from before the break. With Joey, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler sitting on the couch.]
[Time lapse. Ross and Joey are cleaning the table while Judy and Phoebe talk by the window. Jack and Chandler are sitting on the couch while Monica sits on the coffee table.]
(Chandler enters, and Joey is standing near the chair, they have a show down to see who gets the chair and Joey wins)
Joey: Noooo, that's what I was wearing when I donated. I'm kinda surprised there's any of my boys left.
Joey: Then she came back with "The question is, when are you gonna grow up and realise I have a bomb?"
(Joey opens the door and takes Chandler's suitcase into his own apartment.)
Joey: Hey, when the doctor does that hernia test...
Cecilia: Joey, well thank you. That is so sweet. Oh, excuse me. (She throws her drink on a passing writer.)
Joey: Yes, but y'know what? It doesn't matter who knows what. Now, enough of us know that we can just tell them that we know! Then all the lying and the secrets would finally be over!
Joey: Oh, you know, the writing was good, and the director is good, and... and my co-star's good but they're not as good as me!
Joey: Your folks are really that bad, huh?
Joey: I love babies, with their little baby shoes, and their little baby toes, and their little baby hands...
Joey: Well, how long do you think it'll be?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is giving Joey a massage as Rachel enters.]
Joey: All right, here you go buddy. (He tosses him one.) Go nuts. (Exits.)
Joey: Hey-hey guys, hey! How about we settle this over a friendly game of Fireball? Huh? I'll go unhook the smoke detectors!
Joey: Okay. Okay. (He goes out and comes back in, glaring at everything.)
[Scene: Joey and Janine's, Janine's there. Joey enters]
Joey: It wasnt my ring! Its Rosss ring! Thats why I felt so bad Rach, because he was going to propose.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is eating pizza as Joey returns from the Knicks game.]
Rachel: Yeah and you had fun teaching him how to be all Joey.
Rachel: Joey look, just look at it this way, the sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler the sooner this is all over and out in the open.
Joey: You know what? I think I'm gonna stay here and make sure he's okay.
Joey: Pheebs! (He looks down as he goes down the step to make sure he didnt fall again.) Check it out! (He starts laughing when he realized what he did.)
[Scene: Casting Director #1s office, Joey is on his first audition. His partner is an 8-year-old boy.]
Joey: There was chocolate on the three. It looked like an eight, alright?
Joey: (entering from the dining room) Hey.
JOEY: Alright, you're on. I can take two minutes out of my day to kick your ass.
Ross: (slowly) Yeah. But you know what? I think you should give Joey a chance. I mean, he's a great guy, and sure he doesn't know that much about art but you know, you can always talk about that with someone else.
Joey: I dont know! I really want this part! And they tell you no matter what you get asked at an audition you say yes. Like if-if they want you to ride a horse, you tell em you can! And just figure out how to do it later.
Joey: Oh, I-I, I think that's the first time I ever missed a meal! (Checks his pants.) Yeah, my pants are a little loose!
Joey: I cant believe Im going to lose this job!
Joey: Noo! I can't take any more secrets! (To Rachel) I've got your secrets. I've got their secrets. I got secrets of my own y'know!
Joey: The thing is cause I live with Rachel Im here for a lot of the stuff, okay? (To Rachel) And Ross Ross is missing everything. So
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is on the couch and Joey is entering.]
Joey: Phoebe! Were both (points at Ross and himself) your backup?!
Joey: Were now in the ceremony, Monica is about to say, "I do" when her drunk uncle starts yelling. What do you do? Go!
[Cut to later in that episode in Central Perk, a meeting with Phoebe, Rachel, and Joey where they discuss Chandler and Monica.]
Joey: Great! (Joey takes his cookie and finishes it.)
Chandler: (to Joey) You couldn't be cool. (he goes to the guest bedroom)
Joey (gives a thumbs up sign): Okay, okay. Wait till you hear who I got for Ross.
Rachel: YeahNo wait! Joey no wait it is. Its something. Its-its umm its my boss.
Joey: That's true. But you know what, it doesn't matter because I already know who you're gonna go home with tonight.
Joey: Well, I cant do everything! Look back over your time together.
Joey: Im telling ya, you guys are totally getting back together!
Dream Joey: Aww, me too. Now let's finish this and go to bed.
Joey: I got that! I forgive ya! Don't come out here!
Joey: I mean, theres no way I can make myself taller now, yknow? And who knows what science will come up with in the future, but Chandler, what if I die an unsuccessful, regular sized man?
Joey: I can do that, yeah. How is Friday?
Joey: Are you kidding me? Watch! (Makes funny faces trying to cry) Well I cant do it with you guys watching me!
Chandler: (looks him in the eye) I'm not breaking up with her! (they stare at each other for a while, then Joey blows in his face)
RACHEL: Ok, doggie get the- aahhh. Ok go get the sandwich, get the sandwich doggie. [dog ignores the sandwich] Good doggie get the sandwich, get the...ok, Joey, the dog will lick himself but he will not touch your sandwich, what does that say?
Joey: If you want, Ill sell my friends and use the money to buy you presents.
Joey: Ooh, hey, I know how we can decide! All right, uh, I'm gonna ask you a bunch of questions and then you have to answer real fast. Okay? So uh, clear your mind Clear it right out! Clear it out! Clear!
Joey: (answering the door.) Hey, how did you do that?! Come on in. (He brings them inside.)
Joey: Yeah, well you didn't call and leave your grip size.
JOEY: Well uh, I had breakfast here so technically I saved $3.50.
Joey: (eating) Huh. So then I can heat this up? (Goes and does so.)
JOEY: All the way to the airport huh? You know that's over 30 miles, that's gonna cost you about so bucks.
Joey: All righty, what do you say we head back to my place?
Joey: Hey babies! Oh, Im having the best morning. That uh, that Porsche Ive got the keys too, still there!
Joey: Well thats it. Im done. Whew! (Wipes his forehead.) There come the meat sweats. (Chandler hands him a towel and he wipes his face.)
JOEY: Well, I couldn't do it. I told her I didn't want to get the part that way.
Phoebe: Oh no! He's not getting away that easy! (Phoebe and Joey run towards the bathroom and enter)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
Joey: Who invented bifocals?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are there. Joey is looking at a National Geographic and giggling.]
Joey: (stopping him) No, no, you cant, you cant, okay, you cant, you cant buy her pearls, you just cant, you cant, you cant.
Joey: Oh, really? You know what your great friend did? We're out to dinner, ok? (he starts talking about the date and we can see what happened through a flashback video) We're getting along, having a really nice time. I was thinking she was really cool. And then, out of nowhere...
(Cut back to Joey and Angela at the counter.)
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-hey, if you're gonna start with that stuff we're outta here.
Rachel: Joey, God, your apartment is like a hundred degrees!
Joey: You know, I could like maybe... I could do a dramatic reading of one of her books!
[cut to Joey as Estelle, Joeys agent, approaches]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is showing everyone a poster as Ross enters.]
Chandler: Im gettin my chair back! (Heads for Joey and Rachels.)
Joey: Well I tried, but people kept coming in and then you took your breast out!
Joey: But Phoebe, wait! Wait! Phoebe. Phoebe! (catches her in the hallway)
Joey: Yeah, I-I-I'm down with that. (He turns back to the woman.) Okay, here goes. (Thinks.) How (Holds up his hand like an Indian) you (Points at her) a-doin'? (Does a little twisting motion with both hands and ends up pointing at her, he then winks. She smiles and waves again.) (To Monica) It worked! She's waving me over. (Towards the woman.) Okay, I-I-I'll be right over. Let's see, she's on the third floor
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey are there, Joey is on the phone.]
JOEY: Absolutely.� You'd do it for me.� Not that you ever have to because I know how to keep my women satisfied.
Cecilia: All right Joey, I will help you. Not because I-I owe it to this stupid show, but because I owe it to Jessica.
(Joey hands her the cheese without looking at her.)
Joey: Okay. (he gets up and takes the cushions with him, as he starts to leave)
Joey: (outraged) A MONTH??
Joey: And I couldn't find this little plastic thing (holds up plastic thing) that goes on top of the blender...and I thought...well... how important can that be, right...? Turns out very!