words in movies
Monica: Hey Joey!
Joey: Hey!
(Joey frowns...then looks as if he understands)
Joey: I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought about it myself. Chandler is my best friend, it would be wrong. Good...(He winks)...But wrong.
Joey: Aww, I don't know Monica y'know... erm... lending friends money is always a mistake.
Joey: And I think he would tell you it was a mistake.
Joey: Oh...how much?
Joey: Two thousand dollars!? What do you think I am? I soap opera star!?
Joey: That's right I am! (Opens drawer and rummages through it. Rachel enters)
Joey & Monica: Hey!
Joey: Oo...what's in the bag?
Joey: Oh...baby-proofing... Why is this such a big deal now? Y'know, when I was a kid it was like.. "Whoops! Joey fell down the stairs!" or er.. "Whoops! Joey electrocuted himself again!" Huh!
Rachel: No. I was just going to do this myself. (Joey makes a sarcastic laugh.)
Joey: You're gonna do it?
Joey: Oh, women can. You can't.
Rachel: Monica...would you please tell Joey that he is a pig?
Joey: The hardware store is right down the street.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler sits on the couch. Joey sits at the round table]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: I thought you didn't have secrets from Monica.
Chandler: And that would have made the official party line. (Joey nods) Monica and I are having a little financial trouble.
Joey: Yeah, I know.
Joey: Err... I just figured it out! You know, I mean you're not working and the economy is bad.
Joey: (to himself) That's the fastest I have ever thought!
Joey: Oh! Sure! How much? Two thousand dollars?
Chandler: Yes! Two thousand dollars exactly! How do you know that! (Joey begins writing a cheque)
Joey: Err...Well I...Know how much you used to make and I know how much your rent is. (shrugs)
Joey: (To himself) I am on fire!
Chandler (Stands up and walks to Joey): Listen...this is really nice. Do you... (sees his chequebook) Did you write a cheque to Monica for two thousand dollars? Did Monica borrow money from you?
Joey: Err... Kind of.
Joey: Oh no no no no no... It wasn't... It wasn't because of your money problems, it was for something for her.
Joey: Something personal.
Joey: Boob job.
Joey: Well it's...It's not that crazy okay? Making them smaller, that would be crazy.
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey enters carrying a tub of ice cream. He sets it on the table, takes off his jacket and struggles with the drawer. It cannot be opened.]
Joey: Rach?! (He walks over to the fridge to put it in, but it cannot be opened either) Rachel!!!!? (He walks to the bathroom and tries to lift the toilet seat cover. It won't come up.) So I can't do anything I like????
Rachel: Joey! Why did you tell Chandler that Monica was getting a boob job?
Joey: Because she is!
Monica: Joey, Chandler knows I borrowed the money.
Joey: Mmmm hmm! For your boob job!
Joey: OK so I'm out four thousand dollars and nobody's boobs are getting any bigger?
(Chandler, Monica, Joey and Rachel are carrying a couch through the door)
Joey: Hey uh, where do you guys want this?
Joey: (voice strained) Couldn't have this conversation down at the truck huh?
Chandler/Joey/Rachel/Monica: Bye bye Mike!/Cya mike!/Bye mike!/Bye bye now!
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is struggling with the fridge. He finally gets it open and falls on the floor]
Joey: AH HAH! I DID IT! HA HA! Alright... (He takes a box out, about to close fridge, then thinks.) Better take all I can carry. Who knows when i'll be able to get in here again!
Joey: Oh! It all looks so beautiful: the turkey, the stuffing...
Joey: No! No, and I did not ask her to marry me!
[The next one is from Episode 608: The One With Rosss Teeth, Chandler is accusing Joey of becoming less of a man.]
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Joey is miming hockey pucks kitting foreheads. Chandler realises it's getting tense and goes to the receptionist again.]
(Joey gives him the okay symbol, and Ross rushes towards him to be stopped by Chandler. Meanwhile, Phoebe goes over to the snack table as some guy, which turns out to be Ursula's fianc�e Eric, walks in and smacks her butt.)
Rachel: No. Joey, she knows! We were at Ugly Naked Guy's apartment and we saw them doing it through the window. (Joey gasps) Actually, we saw them doing it up against the window.
Joey: (to Ross, mouthing) Don't make me come up there!
Joey: Fine! Let's just go. I don't need your stupid dinner.
Joey: Sorry!
Joey: Ha!
Monica: Joey, that is not gonna work.
Joey: Yeah! You three have a nice Thanksgiving.
Joey: Oh-oh! I'm stuck!
Joey: Okay.
Joey: No seriously... I'm really wedged in here.
Joey: Alright, hurry up, you gotta do something.
Joey: It isn't working.
Joey: Oh, that smells good!
Ross: I gave them to Joey.
(Joey tries to pull back at all his might.)
Joey: Yknow I dont think you should be talking at all in there! I think youve got to much thinking to do to be talking and making jokes!
Joey: Interesting...
Joey: It's really starting to hurt.
Joey: I left them at the park.
Joey: Yeah! Come on!
Joey: Ooh! Stop putting things down my pants!
Joey and Chandler: PUSH! PUSH! PUSH!
Joey: Oh, I know how you feel...
Joey: But just think, ok? What if everything goes right? What if this woman does pick you guys?
Joey: So... who's your friend?
Joey: OW, why, why, why?
Rachel: (to Joey) Hey, who's Phoebe with?
Joey: Saraaah.
Joey: Oh, name one friend of yours that I did that with.
Joey: I know why I don't remember her, huh? (he winks at Rachel)
Joey: Keep going Pinocchio!
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Well...
Joey: Nope.
(Joey looks satisfied)
Rachel: Oh, yeah. Joey doesn’t share food. I mean, just last week we were having breakfast and he had a couple of grapes on his plate and ...
Joey: (to a customer) Are you all finished here?
Joey: ALL FOOD!
Phoebe: (to Joey) You wouldn’t let her have a grape?
Joey: Mandy, uh? Uh... really hot blonde, big boobs?
Joey: It's a one-woman play called "Why don't you like me: a bitter woman's journey through life".
Joey: Yeah. And look, I just want you to know that with Rachel staying here and everything, all my feelings from before are totally over, okay? And even if they weren't, when you accidentally walk in on a woman using a breast pump...
Joey: I think were not wearing the same shirt anymore!!
Joey: And starting to think about settling down!
Joey: (now laughing a little) Dude, I really don't think you should be wearing that.
Joey: Oh, that looks great! Good ordering!
Joey: Whoo, whoo. Wow, it's uhm... kinda weird that I'm sitting next to Charlie after we broke up.
Joey: Oh (grinning, trying to hold in his impatience with her) okay.. (she takes her hand back)
Joey: Yeah, because it is slim pickings. I had this date last night: Yuck! But we should probably keep it down; she's still in the bedroom.
Joey: I don't like it when people take food off of my plate, okay?
Joey: I can see why, nice shirt!
Joey: (Visibly annoyed) NOW look what you did!!
Joey: WELL, I DIDN'T MEAN IT!
Joey: Road trip! Yeah, we can rent a car! I just have to be there by Tuesday!
Joey: Uh, excuse me sir, there seems to be some sort of red crap on my cheesecake.
Joey: That's fire. Beats everything.
Joey: Oh yeah, sure. No problem.
Joey: Alright, alright, okay, uhm... How 'bout this, how about this? Tomorrow... tomorrow we'll both go and we'll tell him together.
Joey: Oh, all right, I'll just have what she's having instead.
Joey: (laughing) Really?
Joey: And, a brownie! (Hands her a bag with the brownie in it.) Well, half a brownie. Actually, its just bag. Its been a long walk from the flower shop and I was startin to feel faint so
Joey: Why, just a tiny little...
Joey: (to the torte) Stop staring at me!
Joey: Not like we used to. Remember? You and me used to be inseparable. Yknow now its like things are different.
Joey: I'm not even sorry.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. The scene starts where we took off in the last episode with Ross seeing Joey and Rachel kissing. Rosss tares at them.]
Joey: Ooh... Not so good.
Joey: Yeah, and you know what? We could do a lot worse.
Joey: Uhm... oh... I don't know, it's too hard.
Joey: Hey Chandler, while you were sleeping that guy from your old job called again.
Monica: It's so weird, how did Joey end up kissing Charlie last night? I thought you'd end up kissing Charlie.
Joey: Well, I dont know. I think it does something to salami.
Rachel: (clearly not listening and still trying to find out where Joey went) Uh-huh... right... yeah...
[Scene: Joey’s apartment. Everybody except Monica and Chandler is there.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is knocking on Rachels door, whose door frame is decorated with balloons. The rest of the gang is there as well. Rachel opens the door and the gang blow on noisemakers.]
Joey: Come on. This guy's great. His name's Bob. He's Angela's... brother. He's smart, he's sophisticated, and he has a real job. Me, I go on three auditions a month and call myself an actor, but Bob is...
Joey: Okay. Thats good. Okay, that give you a couple hours to prepare what youre gonna say. Good. Yeah. (Someone comes out of his apartment and it startles Joey again.) Dont you people ever knock?!
Joey: Hey, is uhm... is Chandler here?
(Joey walks in and sees Monica. He freaks out and runs back into the hallway, screaming.)
Joey: (to Chandler) You son of a bitch!
Joey: (clearly shocked) What?
Joey: (opening his door) If I cant have it you cant have it! (Rachel walks away angrily.)
Rachel: Oh, ju-ju-just stay calm. Just be calm. For all he knows we're just hanging out together. Right? Just be nonchalant. (Joey like stands at attention with his chest forward and his hands on his sides, looking up at the ceiling with his lips pouted.) That's not nonchalant!
[Scene: The restaurant. Phoebe and Joey are sitting alone at a table for six.]
Joey: What the hell are you doin'?
Joey: (yelling through the door) Can we come it yet?! Were dying out here!
Joey: (he has a turkey on his head) It's stuck!!!
Joey: I put it on to scare Chandler!
Joey: It's Joey.
Joey: Oooooh!
Joey: Hey, hey, look! It’s not about a few fries... it’s about what the fries represent.
Joey: Guest.
Joey: Uhh, 11!
Joey: Everyday use.
(from 5.15 - "The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey")