words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are playing catch with a little foam globe.]
Joey: Hey Ross, is uh, is Staten Island really an island?
Joey: Ohhh. I thought it was like Long Island.
Ross: (he catches the ball and pauses, staring at Joey in disbelief) Also an island.
Joey: Hey, what time is it?
Joey: Wow! You realize that we've been throwing this ball, without dropping it, for like an hour?
Joey: Yeah. I realized it about a half-hour ago but I didn't want to say anything 'cause I didn't want to jinx it.
Joey: Oh, I-I, I think that's the first time I ever missed a meal! (Checks his pants.) Yeah, my pants are a little loose!
Joey: Hey!
Joey and Ross: No.
Joey and Ross: Yeah!
(Joey turns and looks at quite possibly one of the ugliest pets that you can possibly buy on the planet. Rachel has bought herself a hairless cat. Yep, a hairless cat! Joey and Ross start to get sick.)
Joey: What the hell is that?!!
Joey: That, is not a cat! {I have to agree with Joey on this one.}
Joey: It's not a cat!
Joey: It's not a cat!
Ross: (To Joey) Hey, you wanna get something to eat or uh, do you wanna see how long we can throw this ball back and forth? Huh?
Joey: Uhh, the ball thing.
Joey: Hey Ross, wouldn't it be great if we could go two straight hours without dropping it?!
Joey: Okay!
Joey: (catches the ball) Uh-oh.
Joey: I have to pee. And Rachel's in the bathroom!
[Cut to Chandler and Joey's, Ross is seen throwing the ball into the bathroom, presumably where Joey is currently using the facilities.]
Joey: Man, I didn't think we were gonna make it!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are still playing catch.]
Joey: Maybe this should be more of a quiet game.
Joey: Hi!
Monica: Joey, I left my watch on the counter last night. (Goes to the counter) It was right here, where is it?
Joey: I don't know.
Joey: Oh, I don't know . Yeah, can't do it.
Joey: Yeah, we haven't dropped it in (Looks to Ross.)
Monica: (on phone, faking she's sick) I-I'm not gonna be able to make it into work today, I don't feel very good. (Joey makes a high throw and Monica has to catch it way over her head.) (Not sounding sick) Yes!! (Realizes what she just did.) (Sounding sick again) Wow! Uh, for a second there I thought I was really better, but I'm not. (Hangs up and keeps throwing the ball.)
Joey: Oh, don't worry, it's not a cat.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Ross, and Monica are still playing catch, with Chandler looking on. Joey throws the ball to Monica who catches it and whips it at Ross.]
Joey: That's right baby.
Joey: Oh yeah, that's right!
Joey: Whoa-whoa you guys, it's not a cat!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Ross, Monica, and now Chandler are still playing catch. The guys are exhausted and sitting around the room. Monica is still standing all pumped up and being hyper-competitive yet again. {Okay! We get it! She's competitive!! Must we see all the time?!}]
Joey: I don't know who made you the boss? All right? We (Ross and him) invented this game!
Joey: Did you get your money back?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Hyper-competitive Monica, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are still playing catch. Monica is finally tiring while the rest of them are totally exhausted and virtually asleep.]
Joey: Oh hey, here Pheebs. (He throws her the ball.)
Joey: Man that was great! Huh? Can you believe how long we threw that ball around?
Joey: Then youre not invited. (Starts for the door again.)
Joey: God, that would be weird it that situation presented itself tonight, huh?
Joey: Hey, you're back too!
Joey: How was your conference?
Joey: You're not gonna like it.
Joey: You got married to fast.
Joey: You want my advice?
Joey: Hi, Rach.
Joey: I told ya.
Director: Listen Joey, we definitely want to see you for the callback on Saturday.
Joey: Who cares? You're Rachel! (To Chandler) Who's Kip?
Phoebe: Okay, but try and get Joey too.
Joey: (glares at him for a moment, then admits grudgingly) Maybe. Well, I just think you guys can do better than this house, you know? Or any other house for that matter.
Joey: Hey, how was your chef thing?
Joey: I put it on to scare Chandler!
Joey: (entering the apartment) Hey. Man, it is so hard to shop for girls.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, Joey, and Chandler are there as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: Oohh!! Ohh! Oh-oh-oh! Oh-oh!!
Joey: (starting to cry) Open the box!! (Runs over to do so.)
Joey: (shocked) Oh! Ohh! Oh!!
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa. What ah, what happened to playing the field?
(Joey puts two and two together.)
Joey: How?! When?!
Joey: IN LONDON!!!
(Joey thinks it over.)
Joey: (To Chandler) You?! (To Monica) And-and you?!
JOEY: "Heckles, you crack me up in science class. You're the funniest kid in school.
Joey: Aww, I don't want to see that!
Joey: Hello, Zelda.
Joey: (entering) Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!! None of that, not while you're living under my roof!
Joey: Hey!
Joey: And what?! Did you sleep with her?!
Joey: Yeah-yeah-yeah, and they had that beer! That uh
Joey: Oh, that sounds like fun, but weve got a ring to find!!
Joey: Yeah. (He goes over to her.)
Joey: Hey, Ross, you're okay with that?
Monica: Now calm down Joey.
Ross: Its like that everywhere, Joey! Okay, Mon, back me up here. Where you work the uh, waiters eat with the waiters, right? And the chefs eat with the other chefs, right?
Joey: I'll take it!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are there.]
Joey: What's the matter Ross?
Joey: Yeah, you fogged Danny.
Joey: Im missin picture time?! (Jumps over to look, Ross glares at him and he retreats.)
Joey: No can do amigo. No, I didn't use the computer. Felt more personal to hand-write it. (Chandler and Monica look even more shocked)
Joey: (quivering with anger) I did not care for that!
Phoebe: Ooh, this is cool...it says in some parts of the world, people actually eat the placenta. (Joey grimaces)
Joey: (running and banging on Chandlers door) The stripper stole the ring!! The stripper stole the ring!! Chandler! Chandler, get up! Get up! The stripper stole the ring!
Monica: Uh, listen, I need that broiling pan that Joey borrowed the other day.
Joey: Yes! Yes! Unreasonable!
Joey: So I ah, talked to Lauren, kinda told her how things were with us. Did you ah, did you talk to Marshall?
Joey: Yeah!
Ross: No! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! You can have this back when the five pages are done! (After Joey walks past, Ross throws the ball down in pain.) Ahh! (Chandler shows him the burn spots on his oven mitts.)
Joey: We all hate Emily!
Ross: Joey, I figured youd understand. I mean, I-Ive known him a lot longer.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are eating breakfast.]
(Joey is singing in his head.)
Monica: You guys are always hanging out in my apartment! Come on, I'll only use my left hand, huh? Come on, wussies! (Joey and Chandler pick her up) All right, ok, I gotta go. I'm going, (they throw her out) and I'm gone.
Joey: What? My hands are totally clean, I just gave the duck a bath.
Chandler: (wails loudly into his hands) Joey kept screaming at me, Do it now! Do it!! Do it! Do it now!! Sometimes late at night I can still here the screaming.
Joey: I think I'm gonna take-off.
Joey: Look, we were way out of line, we totally support you.
(Monica pats Joey on the shoulder.)
Joey: Oh sorry, I hear divorce I immediately go to Ross. (To Rachel) Who-whos Barry and Mindy?
Joey: (thinks) I'm not sure.
Joey: RACHEL PLEASE!!! JUST HAVE DINNER WITH US!!!
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Joey, it's okay. Settle down.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone but Joey and Chandler are there getting ready for Thanksgiving.]
Joey: Well uh, I don't know about who's here, but I can tell you for damn sure who's not here and that's Rachel!!
Joey: That's because all people are selfish.
Joey: (in an unenthusiastic voice) PBS Telethon.
Joey: What happened? What happened?
Joey: I think it's going okay. Looks like he's smiling.
Joey: No, look. (Shows him the magazine.)
Joey: Why?
(And with that everyone starts playing tonsil hockey. Chandler with Monica, Ross with Phoebe, and Joey with Rachel.)
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Okay.
Joey: Hey, you can stay with us! We'll take care of ya!
Monica: Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (To Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
(Joey busts out laughing.)
(Joey starts giggling.)
Chandler: Yeah I know, we're losing Ross, Joey said hence
Joey: Awful! Horrible!
Joey: Ross?
Joey: Hey, all right!
Joey: My Giant? I love that movie!
Joey: Hey.
Joey: (To Chandler) You're fake laughing too, right?
(They start to go into Monica and Rachels, their apartment is filled with all of the old Christmas trees from Joeys work.)
Joey: Id seen this thing on The Discovery Channel...
Joey: (smiles) Kinda.
Joey: Nothing.
Joey: All right, I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You see Rach I'm an actor
Joey: They're so small! (Both he and Ross look at them with satisfied looks on their faces.)
Joey: Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman.
Joey: Sorry.
Phoebe: Hey, Joey, when you said the deal with Santa Clause, you meant?
Joey: Hey! Wanna play some foosball? Please?
Joey: No-no, no! We have to move the table into my room, yeah! 'Cause of all the boxes. Come on!
Joey: No, the quiet down thing!