words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Joey are playing with the duck and the chick.]
Joey: Hey, wouldn't be cool if our duck and chick had a little baby? We could call it Chuck.
Chandler and Joey: Hey.
Joey: (with a disgusted look) What was it?
Chandler and Joey: Whoa!!!
Joey: No, it's too wrinkly to be a mole.
Joey: Yeah, right.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Rachel are there, as Phoebe enters with her date.]
Chandler: Well, y'know if Joey and I played with matches we could get you up to an even hundred.
Joey: So Pheebs, do they know about each other?
Phoebe: Does a dog's lips move when he reads? (Joey makes an `I don't know' face, and looks to Chandler and Rachel, who're also stumped) Okay, no they don't.
Joey: Hey.
Joey: (going over to him) Well?!
Joey: Well what is it?!
Joey: Oh! Maybe they'll name yours after you! Y'know, they'll call it, The Ross. And then people would be like, "Awww, he's got a Ross."
Joey: Whoa, that doesn't necessarily mean that he's breaking up with you.
Joey: Yeah, maybe he just cheated on you.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are there.]
Chandler: Well, if he's gonna break up with you, maybe Joey and I should water his plants. If y'know what I mean.
Joey: Or ha-ha, we could go over there and pee on them.
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa. What ah, what happened to playing the field?
Joey: Okay, good, so there you go. Go with Vince.
Joey: Oh sure, go with the sissy.
Joey: Oh no-no-no-no, I meant Chandler.
Joey: Whoa! For a rich guy he's got, that's a pretty small TV.
Joey: Look at this! A millionaire's checkbook.
Monica: Joey, put that down! (the phone rings) Oh my God! It's Pete. Okay, get out!! How the hell do you answer a video-phone! (steps in front of it, and automatically answers it)
Joey: Hi, how ya doing?
Joey: (looking at the checkbook) Wow! Look at this! He wrote a check for 50,000 dollars to Hugo Ligrens Ring Design. (Monica is stunned) Oh, sorry, what do you think the good news is?
(Joey laughs, Ross glares at him, and Joey stops.)
[Scene: Guru Sajs office: Joey and Chandler have taken the duck to see the guru.]
Guru Saj: (entering) Hello, I am Guru Saj-(sees the duck)-Whoa!! (to Joey) Thats supposed to be a duck right? Cause otherwise, this is waaay out of my league.
Joey: Yeah, yeah. Hes got a, hes got a really bad cough, and our vet, he cant do anything about it. Is there something you can do?
(The duck starts to frantically flap his wings, while Joey is holding him, in an attempt to get away.)
JOEY: Seriously, you like it? This guy was sellin' them on 8th avenue and I looked at 'em and I though, you know what I don't have?
Rachel: Well Phoebe, we gotta do something! (They turn the corner.) Well, yknow. I mean theres no way Joeys gonna make it in time. So Im gonna through the hotel and see if theres any other weddings going on.
Joey: Someone you didnt make up!
Joey: That thing was a hazard! (To the potential roommate) Im very safety conscious.
Joey: (pause) Because Vincent, we were lovers. (Pause) For two years!
Joey: Yeah, that guy really hurt us.
Joey: So I guess its Joey then!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Chandler are entering, Joey is on the phone.]
Joey: No, an entertainment unit, with a mail cubby built right in. Its a one day job, max.
JOEY: [realizing what everyone else did a minute ago] Ooooooh.
Joey: Hey, so listen, I went across the street and talked to the doorman- I got the peeper's name! Can I use the phone?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is watching Wheel of Fortune, the puzzle is showing _oun_ Rush_ore.]
Joey: (approvingly) Oh! ok, yeah, I think I can do that. Yeah ok, there's this party scene coming up.. and Olivia and her husband are there and all Drake wants to do is grab her and kiss her, but he can't... And that makes me think about all those times when I wanted to grab you and kiss you, but you didn't know so I would just pretend everything was cool, but really, it was killing me.
Joey: Hey! I did not cry my eyes out!! Come on! Its like the end of an era! No more J-man and Channies!!
Joey: All right. Okay. Well this is the same kind of deal. If youre going to do something wrong, (He grabs two steaks from the freezer) do it right!
Joey: Ok all right, no, no, no, no, I do, I do, I do, I need your help, but Chandler I don�t know if I can take anymoreplucking. It hurts so bad!
Joey: Its not that bad.
Joey: So, youre just Bing?
Joey: See you later, Gene.
Joey: Dude, I am sorry about what I said!
Joey: Well. I guess you think youre pretty special huh? Sittin up here in your fancy small hall building. Makin stars jump through hoops for ya, huh? Well yknow what? (Throws the script away) This is one star whos hoop This is a star that the hoopthis hoopI was Dr. Drake Remoray!
Joey: Whats up with Gene?
EDDIE: Hey Chan, is that Joey guy gonna come by and pick up his moose hat or should I just toss it out?
Joey: (to Leslie) So ah, Phoebe tells us you write jingles.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is drinking coffee by the counter as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: Uhh, Pheebs, those are uh, those are Santa pants.
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: You have Knicks tickets?
Joey: Yeah, you do!
Joey: Come on!
Joey: Hey!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Monica are sitting at the table as Joey enters.]
Joey: We dont make enough fun of you already?
Joey: What?
Monica: Are you insane? I mean Joey, is going to kill you, hes actually going to kill you dead.
Joey: Yeah, it's like a cow's opinion. It just doesn't matter. It's moo.
Joey: Whoa!
[Back at the table. Joey and Ross return. Shortly, Chandler comes out, holding the stall door in front of him, and leaves.]
Joey: Huh.
Joey: Its the Knicks!
Joey: Oh.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there but Ross and Joey. Gunther hands them the bill, and Chandler gives some money to pay it.]
Joey: Done!
Joey: Ooh, we could end up with nothing.
Joey: All right!
Joey: Okay!
Joey: Well, I eat a lot of meat right?
Joey: Oh, it was so amazing. After the (pause) love making...
Joey: Hey! You dont get a say in this!
Rachel: What?! Joey got a turkey stuck on his head?!
Joey: Whats the game?! Whats the game?!
Joey: Uhh, theyre tall.
Joey: Oh.
Phoebe: All right, Joey, same question.
Joey: Okay.
Joey: Why?!
Joey: Maybe he could slip her the tongue.
Joey: (muffled) Hello?
Joey: Really, a shower huh? And uh, which-which room might that be?
Joey: I dont know.
Joey: (Laughs) Of course we do! Mike is playing a game that we used to play in high school. Yeah, where we pretend we don't know each other. We played all kinds of games. (To Mike) Hey, remember the one where I punch you in the face for not being cool?!
Joey: Look. (He walks out of the bathroom with his head stuck in a huge turkey.)
Joey: I dont want to move again!
Joey: Phoebe?
Joey: That was one good minute!
Joey: Good night.
Phoebe: Joey? What's going on?
Joey: Ross has some big thing to tell everyone.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah!
Joey: I know! It's stuck!!!
(Joey joins him.)
Joey: (happily) Okay!
Joey: (joining in, in his sleep) Joey. Joey. Joey. Joey! Joey!!
Joey: Yknow Terry, I-I dont really need to do this. I got my own cable TV series, (Pause) with a robot.
[Scene: Joey's Apartment, Joey is reading a script as Ross and Chandler enter carrying a basketball.]
Joey: (proudly) Oh, you should here me.
Chandler: Are you kidding me?! Joey. Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey!!
Joey: You usually find them on the 'heaving beasts'.
Joey: I, ah, I never said hate, I was very careful about that.
Joey: Ohhh, yeah!
Joey: Thanks man. Did you hear that, you guys? You're gonna get to stay here! And, and it's good, you know, 'cause, 'cause now you have a reason to come visit.
Monica: I'm going into business people. I'm sick and tired of being depressed about Richard. I needed a plan, a plan to get over my man. What's the opposite of man? Jam. (sees Joey trying some jam from the pot) Oh Joey don't! It's way to hot. (Joey realizes this and spits what he had in his mouth back into the pot.)
(Joey starts humming Here Come the Bride.)
Joey: Well then help me get it off! Plus, it smells really bad in here.
Joey: You cant do anything!
Joey: (in obvious pain) Hey! So Estelle lined up a bunch of auditions for me tomorrow and Ill have my health insurance back in no time.
[Scene: The Medical Research office, Joey is there with Carl in the waiting room. Two identical twins come out and both wave by at the same time.]
Joey: ...Does the knuckle-cracking bother everybody?
JOEY: Hey and everbody is so nice. I just had a good talk with that lady with the red hair, Jeannie.
Joey/Drake: How can I? Knowing I'll never hold you in my arms again, or touch your skin, or feel your lips, knowing I'll never make love to you? How can I accept that... I can never kiss you again when it's all I can do not to kiss you right now.
Joey: Hey, it's not like it sounds.
Joey: Yeah, well
Joey: look I don't usually ask out women that I meet in coffeehouses
Joey: Yeah, Rach, I think youre handling that really well.
Joey and Chandler: What?!
Joey: (trying to act like hes not the one that stinks.) Whoa! Yeah, what the hell is that? What smells so bad?
Joey: What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book!
Joey: I got it. (catches the ball)
Joey: What?!
Joey: Joey Tribbiani.