words in movies
Transcribers Note: This is stuff we never saw from all of the seasons, so for all of the scene settings I will be using the current arrangements. Even though some of the out takes take place when Chandler was living with Joey and Rachel was living with Monica, when Joey and Chandler were living in Monica and Rachels, and the current arrangements.
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is talking. It looks like when Rachel and Monica lived in this apartment.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Joey is talking to Monica and Chandler.]
Joey: Ha-ha. LookCome on, I dont know what to do or say. (He laughs.)
Joey: Ha-ha, very funny. I dont know what to do! Yknow? Holy crud!
Joey: Ha-ha-ha, very funny. Look, I dont know what to do! (Long pause, as everyone cracks up.)
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe is speaking Italian to Joeys grandmother. Im spelling phonetically.]
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Joey is giving Chandler the bracelet from season 2.]
Joey: Hey and, this is a little extra something for yknow, always being there for me.
(Suddenly theres a noise off stage and the camera on Joey swings around.)
Matthew: Hey Joey! The camera hit our wall!
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Joey are living here and Ross is writing on the Magna-Doodle when Rachel opens the door causing the door knob to hit his hand.]
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, with the giant entertainment center Joey is exiting from his room.]
Joey: Oh yeah? Then how come I keep(He notices that the marker board they use has been left on the entertainment center and holds up his discovery.)
[Cut to Central Perk, to the theme from The Dick Van Dyke show Joey runs into Central Perk carrying a stack of Soap Opera Digests and falls on the step. He does bounce right back up making it all that much funnier.]
[Cut to Central Perk, same as before Joey is entering.]
Joey: Pheebs! (He looks down as he goes down the step to make sure he didnt fall again.) Check it out! (He starts laughing when he realized what he did.)
Joey: Pheebs! Check it out! Check it out! Check it out! Check it out! (Hands her one.)
(As shes saying that Joey is to pull out a chair and sit down, only Matthew comes running in from off camera and dives for the same chair.)
[Cut to Monicas restaurant kitchen, its the episode where Joey is working as a waiter at Monicas restaurant. Joey is patting her breast from when she set it on fire.]
Joey: Oh! Ooh-ooh!
Joey: Youre still a tiny bit on fire there.
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, its actually Joey and Rachels. Phoebe is trying to convince Rachel to switch with her and live with Monica as Joey looks on.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Ross is eating breakfast with Joey and Monica. Joey is walking towards Ross.]
Joey: Mornin
(Joey hugs Rosss neck and has a look of complete contentment on his face which, after a short while, causes David and Matt to start laughing.)
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Monica is throwing a party. Joey is talking to Ross about the bad audition he just had while pouring booze onto a snow cone.]
Joey: I mean what kind of an actor, what kind of an actor cant even say, "Hmm, noodle soup?"
Joey: (cracking up) Nope, you lost me.
[Reset, Joey is about to pour more booze on.]
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are giving Phoebe and Rachel the brides maid test.]
Joey: Okay, the next situation is for Rachel. The wedding is about to start you walk into the back room and you find Monica taking a nap with Ross. (Ross lies on the floor.) Ill be Monica. Go! (He jumps down and cuddles up with Ross.)
Joey: (Pause) Sorry. (Raises his hand in shame.)
Joey: I dont know, but it smells good. (He gets up and heads for the door only to stop short and start laughing.)
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Ross is living with Chandler and Joey. Joey and Ross have built a fort out of boxes, Chandler enters and they stand up slowly.]
(Ross and Joey both reach down and pull up their pants.)
Joey: Nothin.
[Cut to Monica and Ross leaving Joey and Chandlers hotel room in London. As they exit Joey and Chandler enter from the bathroom with both of their pants down around their ankles.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, is the one where Rachel screwed up the desert and Ross and Joey are trying to enjoy it.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, the gang is watching Joeys debut on Days.]
Joey: Oh yeah, and shes really nice too! She taught me about yknow, how to work with the cameras and smell-the-fart acting.
Monica: Joey?
Ross: (To Chandler) All right! All right! All right! (To Joey) We are fixing it.
[Cut to Rosss second wedding reception, Joey has just told him the band is ready with Rachel looking on.]
[Cut to Monicas work kitchen, shes on fire again and Joey is putting her out.]
Joey: Youre still a tiny bit on fire there!
Joey: Then youre not invited. (Starts for the door again.)
Joey: God, that would be weird it that situation presented itself tonight, huh?
Joey: Hey, you're back too!
Joey: How was your conference?
Joey: You're not gonna like it.
Joey: You got married to fast.
Joey: You want my advice?
Joey: Hi, Rach.
Joey: I told ya.
Director: Listen Joey, we definitely want to see you for the callback on Saturday.
Joey: Who cares? You're Rachel! (To Chandler) Who's Kip?
Phoebe: Okay, but try and get Joey too.
Joey: (glares at him for a moment, then admits grudgingly) Maybe. Well, I just think you guys can do better than this house, you know? Or any other house for that matter.
Joey: Hey, how was your chef thing?
Joey: I put it on to scare Chandler!
Joey: (entering the apartment) Hey. Man, it is so hard to shop for girls.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, Joey, and Chandler are there as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: Oohh!! Ohh! Oh-oh-oh! Oh-oh!!
Joey: (starting to cry) Open the box!! (Runs over to do so.)
Joey: (shocked) Oh! Ohh! Oh!!
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa. What ah, what happened to playing the field?
(Joey puts two and two together.)
Joey: How?! When?!
Joey: IN LONDON!!!
(Joey thinks it over.)
Joey: (To Chandler) You?! (To Monica) And-and you?!
JOEY: "Heckles, you crack me up in science class. You're the funniest kid in school.
Joey: Aww, I don't want to see that!
Joey: Hello, Zelda.
Joey: (entering) Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!! None of that, not while you're living under my roof!
Joey: Hey!
Joey: And what?! Did you sleep with her?!
Joey: Yeah-yeah-yeah, and they had that beer! That uh
Joey: Oh, that sounds like fun, but weve got a ring to find!!
Joey: Yeah. (He goes over to her.)
Joey: Hey, Ross, you're okay with that?
Monica: Now calm down Joey.
Ross: Its like that everywhere, Joey! Okay, Mon, back me up here. Where you work the uh, waiters eat with the waiters, right? And the chefs eat with the other chefs, right?
Joey: I'll take it!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are there.]
Joey: What's the matter Ross?
Joey: Yeah, you fogged Danny.
Joey: Im missin picture time?! (Jumps over to look, Ross glares at him and he retreats.)
Joey: No can do amigo. No, I didn't use the computer. Felt more personal to hand-write it. (Chandler and Monica look even more shocked)
Joey: (quivering with anger) I did not care for that!
Phoebe: Ooh, this is cool...it says in some parts of the world, people actually eat the placenta. (Joey grimaces)
Joey: (running and banging on Chandlers door) The stripper stole the ring!! The stripper stole the ring!! Chandler! Chandler, get up! Get up! The stripper stole the ring!
Monica: Uh, listen, I need that broiling pan that Joey borrowed the other day.
Joey: Yes! Yes! Unreasonable!
Joey: So I ah, talked to Lauren, kinda told her how things were with us. Did you ah, did you talk to Marshall?
Joey: Yeah!
Ross: No! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! You can have this back when the five pages are done! (After Joey walks past, Ross throws the ball down in pain.) Ahh! (Chandler shows him the burn spots on his oven mitts.)
Joey: We all hate Emily!
Ross: Joey, I figured youd understand. I mean, I-Ive known him a lot longer.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are eating breakfast.]
(Joey is singing in his head.)
Monica: You guys are always hanging out in my apartment! Come on, I'll only use my left hand, huh? Come on, wussies! (Joey and Chandler pick her up) All right, ok, I gotta go. I'm going, (they throw her out) and I'm gone.
Joey: What? My hands are totally clean, I just gave the duck a bath.
Chandler: (wails loudly into his hands) Joey kept screaming at me, Do it now! Do it!! Do it! Do it now!! Sometimes late at night I can still here the screaming.
Joey: I think I'm gonna take-off.
Joey: Look, we were way out of line, we totally support you.
(Monica pats Joey on the shoulder.)
Joey: Oh sorry, I hear divorce I immediately go to Ross. (To Rachel) Who-whos Barry and Mindy?
Joey: (thinks) I'm not sure.
Joey: RACHEL PLEASE!!! JUST HAVE DINNER WITH US!!!
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Joey, it's okay. Settle down.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone but Joey and Chandler are there getting ready for Thanksgiving.]
Joey: Well uh, I don't know about who's here, but I can tell you for damn sure who's not here and that's Rachel!!
Joey: That's because all people are selfish.
Joey: (in an unenthusiastic voice) PBS Telethon.
Joey: What happened? What happened?
Joey: I think it's going okay. Looks like he's smiling.
Joey: No, look. (Shows him the magazine.)
Joey: Why?
(And with that everyone starts playing tonsil hockey. Chandler with Monica, Ross with Phoebe, and Joey with Rachel.)
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Okay.
Joey: Hey, you can stay with us! We'll take care of ya!
Monica: Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (To Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
(Joey busts out laughing.)
(Joey starts giggling.)
Chandler: Yeah I know, we're losing Ross, Joey said hence
Joey: Awful! Horrible!
Joey: Ross?
Joey: Hey, all right!
Joey: My Giant? I love that movie!
Joey: Hey.
Joey: (To Chandler) You're fake laughing too, right?
(They start to go into Monica and Rachels, their apartment is filled with all of the old Christmas trees from Joeys work.)
Joey: Id seen this thing on The Discovery Channel...
Joey: (smiles) Kinda.
Joey: Nothing.
Joey: All right, I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You see Rach I'm an actor
Joey: They're so small! (Both he and Ross look at them with satisfied looks on their faces.)
Joey: Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman.
Joey: Sorry.
Phoebe: Hey, Joey, when you said the deal with Santa Clause, you meant?
Joey: Hey! Wanna play some foosball? Please?
Joey: No-no, no! We have to move the table into my room, yeah! 'Cause of all the boxes. Come on!
Joey: No, the quiet down thing!