words in movies
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is cooking, Joey is eating, and Chandler is entering from the bedroom.]
Joey: Hey.
Joey: I do. Theres uh, lets see, Guy With a Mustache, Smokes-A-Lot Lady, Some Kids Ive Seen, and A Red-haired Guy Who Does Not Like To Be Called Rusty.
Rachel: Well yknow, we did other stuff too. (Joey and Chandler start to giggle.)
Chandler: Well, either that or uh (Motions towards Joeys door.)
Monica: Joey!!
Joey: Yeah?
Joey: Uh well yeah, that was the plan, but by the time I got to it there was only a couple of pieces left!
Joey: Hey Mon, you might wanna make some more lasagna too, because something mightve happened to a huge chunk of it.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, Ross, and Chandler are watching Phoebe polish the daisies on her bike outside.]
Joey: Almost cried huh? Hear that Chandler? Almost cried!
Joey: (about to cry) Those two only had each other!
Joey: Yeah, I saw her this morning walkin it by the park.
Joey: Hey Pheebs?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is making candy while Chandler and Rachel are taste testing and Joey is on the couch doodling.]
Joey: Hey Rach?
Joey: That sketch you mentioned? Might it have looked a little something like this? (He shows her what hes been drawing.)
Rachel: Oh my God! Joey!
Joey: Boy I tell ya, this little talent came in handy before I could afford porn.
Joey: (watching the discussion) Hey Chandler, do we know that lady?
Joey and Chandler: Yeah, thats her.
Monica: Oh, you really want to talk about getting people to like you huh, funny man? (Joey laughs but stops when Chandler turns to glare at him.)
Joey: Yeah lady! Give us candy!!
Chandler: Joey!
Joey: Whats up buddy?
Joey: Waiting for candy.
Joey: (stepping in and knocking the man over) Hey, if we know it can we have candy?!!
Joey: Thats right, its all ruined! You guys ruined everything! You ruined it! (Steps into the apartment and Chandler closes the door.) (Joey struts over to the candy and starts eating it.)
Joey: (with his mouth full) Oh yeah, sorry about that. Mob mentality or whatever, I dont know (Grabs the note.)
Ross: Obviously not to Joey.
Joey: (pause) What?
Joey: (pause) What?
Joey: Im tellin ya, he hasnt moved since this morning.
Rachel: Okay, but taking care of a drunk, naked woman seems like a job for Joey.
Joey: Yeah, and not put us in the middle.
Joey: (interrupting) Whoa-whoa! No-no-no-no-no, nothing is going up! Okay? Up, up is not an optionwhat's a urethra? (Monica whispers what it is in his ear.) Are you crazy?!
Monica: (to Joey) Whats so funny?
Joey: What-whats so funny?
JOEY: Wow, this is wild. What're you gonna get?
Joey: Hey you guys. Hey, you all know my dad, right?
Ross: Okay, Joey, you know what? You have to go for it. How often does this happen to you, huh? You owe it to yourself.
JOEY: Kinda looks like that stuff you get when you get a bad infection.
[This starts a series of flashbacks starting with Monica and Chandler forcing Joey to keep his new found knowledge of their secret relationship in Monicas bedroom in The One With All the Kips.]
Joey: Sure! (Monica gets very depressed) But hey, you know this way sounds good too.
Joey: Yeah, yeah. Its like my chance to give something back to the acting community.
Joey: What is the big deal? Its not like were exclusive.
Wayne: It can do this. (He moves C.H.E.E.S.E.s arm close to Joeys special area and he jumps back.)
JOEY: Oh no, can't invite her. She also steals.
Joey: Pheebs, he seems to enjoy it.
Ross and Joey: No.
Charlie: Hum, so, I started to say you something earlier, hum... (pause) There was another reason I realized it was time to end it with Joey. I kind of realized I... was starting to have feelings... for someone else.
Joey: B-bye Janice. So when ya' dumpin' her.
Joey: Now, wh-what, what is that like?
Joey: I dont know, maybe I cant. I mean, maybe theres something wrong with me.
Joey: Well, I want it!
Joey: (to Ross) Why cant I find that?
Monica: Joey, what are you gonna do when you have a baby?
Phoebe: (to Joey) Youre Franks best man?!
Joey: Listen, I know you're new, but it's kinda understood that everything from Young Men's to the escalator is my territory.
JOEY: Hey Ross, I'm aware of what I owe.
Joey: Oh, hey, Chandler, we, ah, we stopped by the coffee shop and ran into Ross.
Rachel: Yes, Joey, I remember, she's annoying, but you know what she's-she's his girlfriend now. I mean what can we do?
[Scene: The Philly, Chandler and Joey are talking to Chloe.]
Joey: Yeah, its this great part, this boxer named Nick. And Im so, so right for it, y'know, hes just like me. Except hes a boxer, and has an evil twin.
Joey: I couldnt help it, there love is so pure.
Janice: I'll see you later, sweetie. Bye Joey.
Monica: Well, if we owe it? (She throws down her cleaning stuff and jumps into his arms.) Oh my When is Joey gonna be home?
Ross: (shaking head) Oh Joey, Joey! But still, I mean, it seems like you guys are having a great time together.
Joey: Sure! As long as they dont find out you can keep whatever you want! And I want you to have it.
Joey: Hey!
JOEY: Phoebs look, if you want to know what the deal is, you're just gonna have to ask him.
Joey: Every night!!
Joey: (to Monica) Can I use your phone? (On phone) Yeah, the number for a Sidney Marks, please.
Joey: Rach, its, its ah, its not that we dont want to, really. (quietly) Are we talking models in their underwear?
Joey: oh why don't you fly out there and surprise him.
Phoebe: Oh, Joey! Oh, okay, see I didn't recognize you wearing, in those....pants.
Joey: So the ah, plays pretty great, huh?
Chandler: Wow!! Can Joey and I put them on and fight?
Joey: Oh uh, can I give you a hand?
Joey: Okay, I know it sounds crazy, but I think it might work. Yknow? The only problem is, Carls acting is (Does the international hand symbol for so-so.)
Joey: Yeah, that was real.
Joey: Then you hold on to it!!
Chandler and Joey: Hey!
Joey: Yeah, yeah, she's really into history and foreign movies... And oh, oh, she loves puzzles. Huh? Come on, who loves puzzles?
(Joey takes the ice-bucket with the champagne bottle in it and puts it on his sore spot)
Joey: Okay, now the Mastodon is from the semi-late Jurassic period.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Look, I can sense when women are depressed and vulnerable. It's one of my gifts.
Joey: It does in mine!
Joey: Whew! Stood up to fast, got a little head rush.
[Joey walks back inside just as Rosss dance is finishing.]
Joey: Hey! What are you guys doing here? I thought youd be out partying with Gandel-worf.
Joey: Like the three musketeers, only with fruit.
Joey: Hey!!! Oww!! And Im bleeding.
Joey: Okay. Im Chandler (makes a growling/gurgling sound at the end and the girls laugh.)
Joey: If the Homo Sapiens, were in fact Homo-sapien, is that why there extinct?
Joey: Look, the point is, theres a lot of women out there you havent even had sex with yet!
Joey: (holding an empty tissue box) Wheres all the tissues?! (Throws the box down in disgust.)
Joey: Oh. (realises) Ohh. Ohh, youre out of your mind.
(Joey enters.)
Phoebe: Joey, you can't make someone do something they don't want to do. Believe me, there's something I've been trying to get Mike to do in bed and there's... he's just...
Joey: I know! I know! And Im going to talk to them about it. They mean so much to me. They Theyre like my family. If you guys are gonna be fighting all the time, I-I I dont think we can be together. It just, it just cant work. It cant. (Starts to break up) Im very upset.
Joey: All right. Chandler, you can either spin the wheel or pick a Google card.
Joey: Hey, listen you ah....
Joey: Ah, Kate?
Joey: ...feel like getting a cup of coffee?
The Director: (to Joey) Very nice. Very nice. (he walks away)
[Cut to Living Room, Rachel is sleeping on the couch, Ross is gone, the rest of them can finally emerge from their cell. They all wave good bye, and start to walk quietly out, as Monica goes and puts a blanket on Rachel. Joey starts walking all hunched over and bobbing his shoulders as he goes.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Joey are there.]
Joey: Oh, and Mississ-Pete is?
Joey: (yelling from bathroom) Hey, does somebody wanna hand me one of those tiles.
Joey: Yeah! Oh my God! (to Chandler) Is this what its like to be you?
Joey: You ah, you forgot your shoes.
Joey: Better?
Joey: I don't know. I mean I like her a lot, and she's really nice, but
Joey: Oh, forget about it. She rocks!
Joey: You guys have one of those signs that says: 'We don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in our pool.', you know.
Joey: Hey, Kate!
Joey: Oh, hey! Joey Tribbiani.
Joey: Listen, I ah, went to that restaurant that you were talking about last week...
Joey: Yeah?
Joey: All right.
Monica, Ross, and Joey: (joining in) Home is Home Star stew.
Joey: (looks at her, shocked) What?!
[Cut to the tape Joey made in front of some famous place in London with a rather famous English-type person.]
Joey: Get out of here, really?!
Joey: Excellent! Lets play Bamboozled! Chandler, youll go first. What is the capital of Columbia?
Joey: Oh, it was great! I mean we walked all around the village. We went to this ice cream place, split a milkshake, 70/30 but still And guess what, Im thinking about taking her upstate to one of those bed and breakfasts.
Joey: Calm down, do you want this unit or not?