words in movies
(Rachel slams shut her window and storms into the living room, where Joey and Monica are eating breakfast.)
Joey: Are you kidding? I love that guy! (Starts singing) Mornings here! Morning is here
Joey: See, this is a great apartment.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are watching one of those Kung Fu movies and imitating the moves.]
Joey: Uhh, Pheebs, those are uh, those are Santa pants.
Joey: You have Knicks tickets?
Joey: (examining the tickets) Oh my God! Those are almost right on the floor!
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: Youre not stupid. Youre meaner than I thought.
Chandler: No. But uh, Joey has, and I usually talk to them in the morning time.
Joey: Yeah, you do!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is whining to Chandler about the tickets.]
Joey: Come on!
Joey: Come on, season tickets! Season tickets, do you know what that means?
Joey: Oh comelook, when I was a kid my dads company gave season tickets to the number one salesman every year, all right? My dad never won! Of course, he wasnt in the sales division, but still, I never ever, ever forgot that!
Joey: Hey!
Joey: We dont make enough fun of you already?
Joey: Oh-no, dont try and talk all normal with that thing in your ear.
Joey: What?
Chandler: And I love the milk! But, Im not gonna some British girl to move in with me! (Realizes that made no sense.) Joey, you say things now.
Joey: All right look, Ross, hes right. Emilys great, shes great! But this way too soon, youre only gonna scare her!
Joey: No! You dont want to wreck it, you dont want to go to fast!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that same day. Joey and Chandler are eating pizza, and Phoebe is trying to knit something.]
Joey: Wait-wait-wait-wait! (To Chandler) Come on! Come on, lets trade! The timings perfect, I just clogged the toilet!
Joey: Yes! Didnt you ever read Sports Illustrated?! No! I didnt read yours! But come on, we can go to the game tonight!
Joey: Its the Knicks!
Joey: Whoa!
Joey: Huh.
Joey: Yeah, the Knicks rule all!
Joey: Done!
Joey: Oh.
Joey: Ooh, we could end up with nothing.
Joey: Ooh, I like that.
Joey: Come on man, you know Id do it for you! Because, youre my best friend.
Joey: All right!
Joey: Okay!
Joey: Whats the game?! Whats the game?!
Phoebe: All right, Joey, same question.
Joey: Uhh, theyre tall.
(Joey turns and is angry that Chandler didnt come up with the answer.)
Joey: Oh.
Joey: Yeah! Okay. (Joey picks a card.) Phoebe, you look, I cant.
Joey: Okay. Okay. (He looks at the card.) Ace!
(Both Joey and Chandler and Monica and Rachel jump up and down for joy.)
Joey: What? Ace is high! Jack, queen, king, ace!
Joey: Okay.
Joey: Uh-huh, not as high as (picks a card) It worked! King!
Joey: Why?!
Joey: Seriously, good game though. Good game. (He tries to congratulate them, but they pull away.) (To Chandler) What are they so mad about? They get the apartment back!
[Scene: The hallway, Joey and Chandler are coming back from the game.]
Joey: Oh yeah. Hey! Should we give these shirts to the girls? Yknow, kinda like a peace offering.
(He knocks on the girls door and walks in. Surprise! The girls, obviously using Star Trek technology, have completely moved everything in both apartments back to their original positions, all in the time it took for the guys to go to a basketball game. Wow! Anyhoo, Chandler is stunned, and Joey doesnt even realise it.)
Joey: Hey, want a beer? (Hands him a beer and sits down in one of the chairs.) (Jumping up.) WHOA!!!!
Joey: I dont know.
Joey: I dont want to move again!
Joey: That was one good minute!
Joey: Good night.
Phoebe: Okay, scarfs done. (Its not really a scarf, its just a bunch of yarn that Phoebe has tied together. Just then, Ross and Emily enter dragging with them Joey and Chandler.)
Joey: Ross has some big thing to tell everyone.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah!
Joey: Monica and Rachel made out. (Giggles like a schoolboy and Monica glares at him.)
[Scene: Joeys bedroom, he is awoken by the singing guy.]
(Joey joins him.)
Joey: Hey! (Singing) Get into gear!
Joey: (happily) Okay!
Joey: It's two gifts in one. It's a pen that's also a clock! Huh?
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, you really wanna know how I did it, Ill show ya. When you handed me back the card, what you didnt see was, I looked at it so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye. (picks up a card and quickly looks at it) I just did it. (does it again) I just did it, again. Here, Ill slow it down so that you guys can see it. (looks and the card in slow motion)
Joey: Look weve got to find her. Phoebe just called!! Rachels coming to tell Ross she loves him!!
Ross: (running into the hall, in slow motion) You'll never get me, Joe!!! (he then pretends that he gets shot repeatedly and falls back against Joey and Chandler's door, dead.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are there as Joey enters.]
Joey: Ah, can I just say I know we're doing this for Ross, and that's cool, but if it was up to me, this is not what we'd be doing on our first date.
Felicity: (In a sexy voice.)Hello Joey.
Joey: (pretending to be an announcer) And the winner is Joey Tribbiani! (He then gets excited and goes over to the counter to practice his acceptance speech using a bottle of maple syrup as the award.) Oh Wow! I honestly never expected this. I uh, I didnt prepare a speech. But umm, Id like to thank (Rachel enters quietly) my parents, whove always been there for me. Id also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel
Joey: Hey, whats up?
Joey: At least I care about his feelings!
Joey: I cant believe she would say that too you.
Joey: Oh, hey, hey, can I give you guys your house-warming present now?
Joey: (entering) Hey! Is the show still on?
(Chandler and Joey burst in, with Marcel)
Phoebe: No, Joey! You borrowed my cab; you have to drive it back.
Chandler: Oh I used too, but then Joey thought it would be fun to go to Central Park and hit rocks at bigger rocks. (He starts to leave and stops an entering Rachel.) Hey Rach, do you have a tennis racquet?
Joey: (interrupting him) Uh Ross! Are there uh, are there naked chicks on that piece of paper?
Joey: Why not?!
Joey: Yes!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is sitting at the counter reading a magazine as the phone rings.]
Joey: Really? Thats great! You and my sister, sittin in a tree.
Joey: Let me see that!
Joey: Hey! Any good mail?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is scrapping gum off the table as there is a knock on the door. He goes over and opens it.]
Joey: Ahhh, I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face. (the girls look at him, confused) Oh, I'm out.
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: Why?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is getting ready for a fishing trip and Phoebe is asking him about the fishing lures. Ross is playing with the rod, and Monica is pretty much just watching the on goings.]
Joey: (entering) Hey Estelle, listen
Nurse: Now, which of you is the father? (Points to Joey and Ross)
Joey: What?!
Joey: Bastard!
JOEY: One of the virus victims called in sick, so Cathy recommended me and boom, I'm dying on the gurney. Oh Ross, Marcel just finished his last scene if you want to go down there and say goodbye.
Joey: Yeah! I don't want you on the trip!
Joey: Oh-ooh-ooh! Yknow whats a good visual aide?
Joey: I just have to call my agent and tell her I cant do the part. (Gets up for the phone.)
Joey: (exiting from Chandlers room with the new roommate) Everything on your application looks really goodOhh! Just one last question umm, are you and your friends gonna be over here all the time like partying and hanging out?
Joey: Ooh, like the time you and I went to Atlantic City and I made you laugh so hard you threw up your whole steak?! Remember?
Joey: No, Im picking you up for our date. These are for you. (Hands her some flowers.)
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Check the freezer. If theres none in there, then were probably out. Are you just getting in from work? Its late.
Joey: Sure, now Im scared.
Joey: Yeah, but I dont wanna die!
[Scene: Estelle Leonard Theatrical Agency, Joey is there to see his agent.]
Joey: Yes!!! Ha-ha-ha!
Joey: Yeah, okay. (Leaves)
Chandler: No, not us (Motions Joey and him.) Us! (Motions Monica and him.)
Joey: Exactly.
Joey: Sure. (To Monica and Rachel) Coffee? Cause Im going up there.
Joey: Yes!
Joey: Well he actually saw you a little bit too.
Joey: Really? You'd-you'd do that for me?!
Joey: Okay. (Starts screaming.)
The Director: Cut!!!!!!!!!! (Joey starts screaming again.)
Joey: Sure you do, it was a gift from me. Oh! And you have these three great kids.
Joey: Well who is this guy?! Huh? Who is he? Cause I will track him down and kick his ass!
[Cut to later, the gang, minus Joey, is watching the Thanksgiving Day parade.]
Joey: So what, like people are gonna come in and think, "Uh-oh, I'm outside again?" Of course!
[Scene: In Phoebes Grandmothers cab, driving up to the cabin. Phoebes driving, Rachels sitting shotgun, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are in the back seat.]
Joey: Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
Joey: No! I would never do that! You-you're like my brother!
Joey: Hey-hey-hey!
Phoebe: Were just celebrating that Joey got his health insurance back.
Joey: Man, I wish Ross was coming with us! Y'know? I'm gonna miss him!
JOEY: Well, you know that guy that's on my show that's in a coma? He's havin' a brunch.
Joey: I dont know, maybe we werent ready to have a chick.
[Scene: The hallway, Joey is coming up the stairs and sees Chandler trying to open the lock.]
Joey: Great! Thanks. (Exits.)
(Joey lies down on the gurney.)
Joey: Yeah, its not mine.
Joey: Yeah, its (looks up and sees the woman) mine.
(Joey spins the bottle and it lands on Emily.)
Monica: Oh stop it. Joey already told me.
(Joey and Chandler come indoors.)
Chandler and Joey: Yeah! Why dont you stick around. You can sit right there.
CHANDLER: Joey, Joey. Hey, some girl just walked up to me and said, 'I want you Dennis,' and stuck her tounge down my throat. I love this party.
Joey: (whining and heading toward the door) Look, it's too late, and I got an audition. I can't shop anymore! I...
Joey: (entering) Hey guys!
Joey: Sure!
Joey: Okay, take it easy.
Joey: Really? Oh uh, oh just give me five more minutes with it.
Joey: Why not?
[Cut to later, Joey is returning from talking to Mr. Treeger.]
Joey: Yeah, so did I.
Joey: Yeah, but its my wax.
Joey: Well Im not proud of this, but (He turns around and starts to mess with his eyelids.)
Joey: Uh, if I may? Umm-umm look, Cliff, you told me a lot of personal stuff about you, right? And maybe-maybe it would if-if would help if-if you knew some personal stuff about her. Uh, she was married to a gay ice dancer. Uh, she gave birth to her brothers triplets. Oh! Oh! Her-her twin sister used to do porn!
Joey: Yeah. We figured when we couldnt find you, youd gone home to make up with Rachel. Which is probably what you shoulda done. Huh?
Joey: What are you talkin about? I never left you! Youve always been my agent!
Joey: Yeah, yeah, I met this woman. (Starts for his room.)
(Joey goes back into the apartment, runs back into the hallway, throws his shoulder against the door, and knocks it down off its hinges.)
Joey: Yeah!! I call that London style.
[Scene: Backstage at Joeys play, Joey is changing for the next scene as Kate arrives, carrying her bags.]
Joey: I look more like him than you do! (He winks at Carol.)
Joey: That part was perfect for me! I can't believe I didn't get it!
Joey: (entering wearing nothing but Porsche clothes) So the Porsche guy took his car back.
Monica: Joey, you know you dont actually have one.
JOEY: That's right, I have a phone in here.
Ross: We were drunk! I wouldve married uh, Joey with that amount of alcohol!
(Phoebe looks horrified and she turns to watch Joey)