words in movies
Chandler: Where did you, when did you, how did you... (Joey hits the back of Chandler's head) How did you get a girl like that?
Ross: How do you think it's gonna look when you get her something incredibly meaningful and expensive and her boyfriend Joey gives her an orange?
Chandler: Okay, all right, I'll just uh, make sure that uh, Joey gets her something really great.
[Joey enters]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Why?
Joey: You can pee here!
Joey: We've only been going out for a couple of weeks, do you think I gotta get her something?
Joey: Oh, I know...
Rachel: And not one of your coupons for an hour of "Joey Love."
Joey: (entering the apartment) Hey. Man, it is so hard to shop for girls.
Rachel: What did you get her? (Joey opens up a rectangular black box and holds up a pen.)
Joey: It's two gifts in one. It's a pen that's also a clock! Huh?
Joey: Why not?
Joey: Sure it is! She needs a pen for work, she's writing, she turns it over.... "Whoa! It's time for my date with Joey!"
Joey: She didn't have a birthday while we were going out.
Joey: (whining and heading toward the door) Look, it's too late, and I got an audition. I can't shop anymore! I...
Joey: Thanks, man. And oh, while you're at it, could you get her a card?
Joey: Or... just get a card that has a poem already in it.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are standing and talking, Ross is tying a tie.]
Joey: So, you just left? Her place was really that bad?
Joey: Yeah.
Ross: Well, like that, only instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time, and garbage is all that has survived! (Ross takes the loosely tied tie off and hands it to Joey who puts it on.) Here.
Joey: Wow. Thanks. So, uh, what happened?
Joey: All right, so... next time, you take her to your place.
Joey: What kind of smell?
Joey: All right, listen, Ross... you like this girl, right?
Joey: You wanna see her again, right?
Joey: So you're gonna have to do it in the mess!
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: All right! Now you go get that beautiful pig! (Ross hesitates, looks unsure) Oink!
Rachel: All right, look. Why don't you just return the book, let Joey give her the clock pen, and you give her something worse than that. Like... a regular pen.
Joey: (entering) Hey! I'm meeting Kathy in ten minutes! I've been looking all over for you!
Joey: Our place, the hall! I...
Chandler: I got something for her. (Joey picks up the package, shakes it next to his ear, can't hear anything, switches ears, shakes it again.) It's a book!
Joey: (Unimpressed) A book? (Suddenly interested) Is it like a book that's also a safe?
Joey: You got it. Thanks man. Thanks for doing this, I owe you one. (Joey leaves, comes back in.) Oh, hey! There wasn't any change from that twenty, was there?
Joey: Wow. That's almost as much as a new book.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is there, Joey enters.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Oh, man, she loved it! She's over there showing Monica and Rachel right now.
Joey: Hey, listen, I gotta tell ya, I feel kinda bad taking credit for this, because man, am I gonna get a lot of credit for this!
Joey: Hey!
Joey: You know, uh... [Joey moves the pen case out onto the counter.] Chandler got you a gift, too.
Joey: Yeah, he did, look... look, it's right there on the counter! Ha-ho-ho!
Joey: Ah. Hm. (To Kathy) Wanna go to bed?
Joey: Oh, uh... don't forget your coupon. (Tries to strike a sexy pose up against the doorway to his room. Then goes inside).
Kathy: Well, uh, when Joey gave it to me, he said, "This is 'cause I know ya like Rabbits, and I know ya like cheese." Thanks. I love it. And I know how hard it must have been for you to find.
Kathy: You must really like... Joey... to go to all that trouble for him.
Joey: (opening bedroom door) Hey, that coupon expires, you know.
Monica: (noticing the bag Joeys carrying) Oh great! Did you get a movie?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler are all there as Phoebe enters dejectedly.]
Monica: Oh hey Joey! We've been watching all day, when are you gonna be on TV?
Joey: Okay.
Joey: Hey Terry!
Terry: Hey-hey-hey Joey!
Joey: So! Stryker Remoray huh? When do you want me to start?
Joey: (dejected) Yeah okay. (To Chandler) Even though my tax dollars paid for this car.
Joey: I want this part so much! Yknow? If I dont get this part Im never gonna eat Macaroni and Cheese again!No, I didnt say that! Thats a lie.
Joey: (looking between the pages and him) Audition? I thought you were gonna offer me the part.
JOEY: Yeah, we set up a court in your room. Uh, you didn't really like that grey lamp, did you?
JOEY: Can we drop this? I am not interested in the guy's apartment.
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Ah, Im-Im walking down the aisle...Still walking. (Mrs. Waltham takes her place.) Im about to pass the bridesmaid I hooked up with last night. (Looking at the bridesmaid.) Hey! (Talking to Phoebe.) I told her "Hey." And now Im at the front with Ross. Its Phoebe. (He shows Ross the phone.) He looks pretty mad. Uh...Id better go.
Joey: I am (Looks in his date book.) free!
(The phone rings and Joey answers it.)
Rachel: Im sorry Joey.
Joey: Why would they do that?! It was a good show right?!
Joey: Yeah, yknow at first I thought we could talk about this yknow, work it out, but uh, seeing you two together I dont think I
Joey: Ah-ha-ha, you guys owe me big time. (He walks into the kitchen and does a little dance step on the way.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are there.]
Joey: Because they wanted me to audition!
Rachel: Joey, why would you do that?
Joey: Well maybe I got a little upset and maybe I told them where they could go.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are watching TV as Chandler enters.]
Terry: I cant help you Joey.
[Scene: Classroom. Joey is writing his name on the board, but turns around before hes done which causes him to write his name with a downward curve, and he then underlines it, and draws the line right through his name.]
Joey: Thats help spelled backwards so that the helicopters can read it from the air!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Joey and Chandler are playing foosball and Joey scores a goal.]
Joey: (entering) Hey Chandler!
Joey: I'm gonna be in the waitin' room, handing out cigars.
Joey: Oh, yeah. Go for it man, jump off the high dive, stare down the barrel of the gun, pee into the wind!
Joey: Yeah, and Im a little tired from digging the hole.
Joey: Six and a half! You knocked that last one out of my hand! Remember?
Joey: Listen, sorry I didnt stop by last night but I had a date.
[Scene: Phoebes hospital room, Joey and Ross enter as Phoebe comes out of the bathroom wearing her robe.]
Joey: Uhh, well Ive got an audition down the street and I spilled sauce all over the front of my shirt. (Removes his hand to reveal a huge sauce stain.) You got an extra one?
Rachel: Hi Joey! What are you doing here?
Joey: Really? Cause I could kinda use the money.
Joey: Nothing, why?
Rachel: (To Joey) Yeah I knowIm goodI got it! (Joey slowly backs away.) (To the boy) Now wait a minute, Ive got one more thing I have to say to you oh right! Shut up!
Joey: Well check it out, I was with this really hot girl who just moved in right across the street!
Joey: Yeah, okay.
Joey: (to the receptionist) Hi uh, Im Joey Tribbiani and with all do respect Id like to donate some fluids.
Rachel: Okay, go to the left. (Joey goes starboard or sits on the right side of the boat.) The left!
Joey: Sure, no problem. (Sees something.) OohHey, donuts!
Joey: (Whispering.) Pisst, Monica. Alright, we really need to start looking out for Rachel. Ill cover the front door. You watch that big hole at the back of the building and I got Chandler covering Ross.
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: And thatll get rid of my wisdom?
Rachel: Hi Tag! Hey, so did you have fun with uh, with Joey last night?
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Yeah! That guys all right!
Joey: What?
Joey: Oh yeah?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is teaching Chandler how to smile. Chandler is smiling.]
Tag: (To her, in the Joey voice) How you doin?
Joey: Two days ago.
Joey: Dude, tell me she actually told you this.
Joey: (shocked) What?!
Joey: I know, Monica told me.
Tag: Hey Joey, you wanted to talk to me?
Rachel: (To Joey) So, will you talk to him?
Joey: Yeah, for you!
Joey: Ten. Okay. Now Tag theres such a thing as to many women.
Joey: I dont know Rach.
Joey: I dont know. You uh, you got something for me?
(Ross turns and wants to attack Rachel, but Joey stops him.)
Tag: Went out with Joey.
Joey: Well, I sorta am. I mean yeah, Im dating this girl whos also seeing another guy. But, I dont know, Im not to worried about it.
Joey: No-no, this only took five minutes. I spent the rest of the day coming up with new, Ultimate Fireball. (Takes out a bowling ball and a propane torch.) Ha-ha!
Ross: Joey?! Joey!! (He runs into his bedroom.)
Monica: Not until you said it. Somebody switch! (Chandler makes a clicking sound with his fingers and Phoebe runs to the other wall. Monica returns to Chandlers wall.) Wait a minute... Ross and Charlie, Joey and Rachel, Phoebe and Mike! We're the only people leaving with the same person we came with.
Monica, Joey, and Phoebe: [singing] I'm on top of the world, looking down on creation and the only explanation I can find...
Joey: Yeah, we look great together.
Joey: Well just see.
Joey: Yknow, we dont have to imagine.
Joey: Oh uh, ordinarily I would love too, but I am just swamped right now. (Brushes something off of his shirt and looks around, but doesnt move from his chair.)
Ross: Joey, we just saw it!
Joey: And?
Joey: Die Hard 2.
Joey and Ross: Die Hard!!!!!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Kathy are sitting at a table and talking about Joey.]
Joey: Come here! (Hugs Dina and Bobby looks to hug Rachel.)
Chandler: (looking at the tape) Joey, this is Die Hard 1 again.
Joey: Yeah. All right, Ill talk to you later.
Joey: Well, I dont know!!
Joey: No! Never! Never! (Pause, then Joey wants to shake Rosss hand.) Bye.
[Scene: Phoebes cab, shes driving, Joeys in the back seat, and the hitchhiker is riding up front with Phoebe.]
Joey: Yeah. Yep. Yeah. All right, well uh, Id better go.
Rachel: Oh but Joey, I have to go. Theres no room for a baby here.
Joey: Well, I was Dr. Drake Remoray, Strykers twin brother. I mean, who looks more me than me right?
Joey: Hey! Whats going on?
Joey: Oh its water under the bridge, forget it!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is entering, Rachel and Phoebe are already there.]
[Scene: Street in front of the London Marriott, Joey and Chandler exit. Joey is carrying a video camera and is shooting Chandler.]
Joey: See, this is a great apartment.
Joey: Hi.
Joey: Saw a girl with that vest.
Joey: Uh hey look uh Ross, look I think we need to talk about before.
Joey: Uh-huh!