words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Monica are at the counter getting some more coffee.]
Joey: Oh! Hey, somebody left their keys. (Looks at them) Ooohh, to a Porsche! {Transcribers note: Oh come on! Who would leave the keys to their Porsche behind? If I had a Porsche, Id have the keys surgically attached to my hand!} Hey Gunther, these yours?
Joey: Na-uh! (To everyone there) Hey did anybody lose their keys?
Monica: Joey, why dont you put them in the lost and found?
Joey: Theres a lost and found? (Gunther sets the box up on the table.) My shoe! (Grabs it out of the box.)
Joey: Well, I didnt realize until I got home. I wasnt gonna walk all the way back down here with one shoe! Yknow what? Im gonna go find that guys car and leave a note on the windshield. (Goes to do so.)
Joey: Great! Thanks. (Exits.)
[Scene: The street down the block from Central Perk, Joey has found the Porsche and is writing the note.]
Joey: Yeah, its not mine.
Joey: Yeah, its (looks up and sees the woman) mine.
Joey: Me too! Yeah. And comfortable. Do uh, do you like leather seats?
Joey: (checks in the window to make sure it has them) Its got em!
Joey: (entering) Hey guys!
Joey: Hey babies! Oh, Im having the best morning. That uh, that Porsche Ive got the keys too, still there!
Joey: You should see the treatment I get when Im with that car! People are friendly; they-they wanna talk, and not just about the car! One guy gave me advice about my equity investments.
Joey: The ones that got me the Porsche! Will you keep up! (Chandler wipes his forehead with a baby wipe, that might have been used. He drops it disgustedly.) But I figured, if-if people keep seeing me just standing there, theyre gonna start to think that I dont own it. So I figured Ill wash it. Right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap I can borrow?
[Scene: The Porsche, Joey is finishing up washing the car and is talking to a guy about the car.]
Joey: Yeah, she tops out at 130.
Joey: And thats just in the city. I get her up to 160 when I take her upstate.
Joey: Sure!
Joey: Okay, take it easy.
Joey: Really? Oh uh, oh just give me five more minutes with it.
Joey: Oh I-I uh, found the keys and now Im just polishing her up.
Joey: Yeah, but its my wax.
Joey: Sure. Here. (He hands them over.) Ill uh, save your parking spot.
Joey: Why not?
Joey: Yeah, so did I.
Joey: (entering wearing nothing but Porsche clothes) So the Porsche guy took his car back.
Joey: No. No, I just uh, I just loved the way it feels when everybody thinks I own a Porsche.
Joey: Of course! Only an idiot would wear this stuff if you didnt have the car! Right?
Joey: Oh, Ive been there. Yeah, I am gonna go drive my Porsche. (Starts to leave.)
Monica: Joey, you know you dont actually have one.
Joey: Come on! What are you doing?! Im in character! Would you talk to her! (Storms out.)
[Scene: The street, Joey is hanging out wearing his Porsche grab.]
Joey: Why isnt that valet back with my Porsche?
Joey: (to women passing him) Porsche.
Joey: Hi! How are the Gellers?
Joey: Hey! Its Porsche!! (Hes right yknow.)
[Scene: The street, Joey is messing with a car cover and still wearing the Porsche stuff. This guy playing street football catches a pass next to the car cover Joey is fooling around with.]
Joey: Hey! Hey! Be careful around my Porsche!
Woman: (the same one from before approaches) Hi Joey.
Joey: Hey! How you doin?
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
Monica: (noticing the bag Joeys carrying) Oh great! Did you get a movie?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler are all there as Phoebe enters dejectedly.]
Monica: Oh hey Joey! We've been watching all day, when are you gonna be on TV?
Joey: Okay.
Joey: Hey Terry!
Terry: Hey-hey-hey Joey!
Joey: So! Stryker Remoray huh? When do you want me to start?
Joey: (dejected) Yeah okay. (To Chandler) Even though my tax dollars paid for this car.
Joey: I want this part so much! Yknow? If I dont get this part Im never gonna eat Macaroni and Cheese again!No, I didnt say that! Thats a lie.
Joey: (looking between the pages and him) Audition? I thought you were gonna offer me the part.
JOEY: Yeah, we set up a court in your room. Uh, you didn't really like that grey lamp, did you?
JOEY: Can we drop this? I am not interested in the guy's apartment.
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Ah, Im-Im walking down the aisle...Still walking. (Mrs. Waltham takes her place.) Im about to pass the bridesmaid I hooked up with last night. (Looking at the bridesmaid.) Hey! (Talking to Phoebe.) I told her "Hey." And now Im at the front with Ross. Its Phoebe. (He shows Ross the phone.) He looks pretty mad. Uh...Id better go.
Joey: I am (Looks in his date book.) free!
(The phone rings and Joey answers it.)
Rachel: Im sorry Joey.
Joey: Why would they do that?! It was a good show right?!
Joey: Yeah, yknow at first I thought we could talk about this yknow, work it out, but uh, seeing you two together I dont think I
Joey: Ah-ha-ha, you guys owe me big time. (He walks into the kitchen and does a little dance step on the way.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are there.]
Joey: Because they wanted me to audition!
Rachel: Joey, why would you do that?
Joey: Well maybe I got a little upset and maybe I told them where they could go.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are watching TV as Chandler enters.]
Terry: I cant help you Joey.
[Scene: Classroom. Joey is writing his name on the board, but turns around before hes done which causes him to write his name with a downward curve, and he then underlines it, and draws the line right through his name.]
Joey: Thats help spelled backwards so that the helicopters can read it from the air!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Joey and Chandler are playing foosball and Joey scores a goal.]
Joey: (entering) Hey Chandler!
Joey: I'm gonna be in the waitin' room, handing out cigars.
Joey: Oh, yeah. Go for it man, jump off the high dive, stare down the barrel of the gun, pee into the wind!
Joey: Yeah, and Im a little tired from digging the hole.
Joey: Six and a half! You knocked that last one out of my hand! Remember?
Joey: Listen, sorry I didnt stop by last night but I had a date.
[Scene: Phoebes hospital room, Joey and Ross enter as Phoebe comes out of the bathroom wearing her robe.]
Joey: Uhh, well Ive got an audition down the street and I spilled sauce all over the front of my shirt. (Removes his hand to reveal a huge sauce stain.) You got an extra one?
Rachel: Hi Joey! What are you doing here?
Joey: Really? Cause I could kinda use the money.
Joey: Nothing, why?
Rachel: (To Joey) Yeah I knowIm goodI got it! (Joey slowly backs away.) (To the boy) Now wait a minute, Ive got one more thing I have to say to you oh right! Shut up!
Joey: Well check it out, I was with this really hot girl who just moved in right across the street!
Joey: Yeah, okay.
Joey: (to the receptionist) Hi uh, Im Joey Tribbiani and with all do respect Id like to donate some fluids.
Rachel: Okay, go to the left. (Joey goes starboard or sits on the right side of the boat.) The left!
Joey: Sure, no problem. (Sees something.) OohHey, donuts!
Joey: (Whispering.) Pisst, Monica. Alright, we really need to start looking out for Rachel. Ill cover the front door. You watch that big hole at the back of the building and I got Chandler covering Ross.
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: And thatll get rid of my wisdom?
Rachel: Hi Tag! Hey, so did you have fun with uh, with Joey last night?
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Yeah! That guys all right!
Joey: What?
Joey: Oh yeah?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is teaching Chandler how to smile. Chandler is smiling.]
Tag: (To her, in the Joey voice) How you doin?
Joey: Two days ago.
Joey: Dude, tell me she actually told you this.
Joey: (shocked) What?!
Joey: I know, Monica told me.
Tag: Hey Joey, you wanted to talk to me?
Rachel: (To Joey) So, will you talk to him?
Joey: Yeah, for you!
Joey: Ten. Okay. Now Tag theres such a thing as to many women.
Joey: I dont know Rach.
Joey: I dont know. You uh, you got something for me?
(Ross turns and wants to attack Rachel, but Joey stops him.)
Tag: Went out with Joey.
Joey: Well, I sorta am. I mean yeah, Im dating this girl whos also seeing another guy. But, I dont know, Im not to worried about it.
Joey: No-no, this only took five minutes. I spent the rest of the day coming up with new, Ultimate Fireball. (Takes out a bowling ball and a propane torch.) Ha-ha!
Ross: Joey?! Joey!! (He runs into his bedroom.)
Monica: Not until you said it. Somebody switch! (Chandler makes a clicking sound with his fingers and Phoebe runs to the other wall. Monica returns to Chandlers wall.) Wait a minute... Ross and Charlie, Joey and Rachel, Phoebe and Mike! We're the only people leaving with the same person we came with.
Monica, Joey, and Phoebe: [singing] I'm on top of the world, looking down on creation and the only explanation I can find...
Joey: Yeah, we look great together.
Joey: Well just see.
Joey: Yknow, we dont have to imagine.
Joey: Oh uh, ordinarily I would love too, but I am just swamped right now. (Brushes something off of his shirt and looks around, but doesnt move from his chair.)
Ross: Joey, we just saw it!
Joey: And?
Joey: Die Hard 2.
Joey and Ross: Die Hard!!!!!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Kathy are sitting at a table and talking about Joey.]
Joey: Come here! (Hugs Dina and Bobby looks to hug Rachel.)
Chandler: (looking at the tape) Joey, this is Die Hard 1 again.
Joey: Yeah. All right, Ill talk to you later.
Joey: Well, I dont know!!
Joey: No! Never! Never! (Pause, then Joey wants to shake Rosss hand.) Bye.
[Scene: Phoebes cab, shes driving, Joeys in the back seat, and the hitchhiker is riding up front with Phoebe.]
Joey: Yeah. Yep. Yeah. All right, well uh, Id better go.
Rachel: Oh but Joey, I have to go. Theres no room for a baby here.
Joey: Well, I was Dr. Drake Remoray, Strykers twin brother. I mean, who looks more me than me right?
Joey: Hey! Whats going on?
Joey: Oh its water under the bridge, forget it!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is entering, Rachel and Phoebe are already there.]
[Scene: Street in front of the London Marriott, Joey and Chandler exit. Joey is carrying a video camera and is shooting Chandler.]
Joey: See, this is a great apartment.
Joey: Hi.
Joey: Saw a girl with that vest.
Joey: Uh hey look uh Ross, look I think we need to talk about before.
Joey: Uh-huh!