words in movies
[Scene: Days Of Our Lives set, Joey is doing a scene with a co-star as Rachel watches on a monitor.]
(Dramatic music plays and Joey does a little Smell-the-fart acting.)
Joey: (To Rachel) Okay, let me just get changed and we can go to dinner.
Joey: Im not telling, youll have to see it on TV!
Joey: No, couldnt care less.
Joey: Hey you too!
Joey: What? You werent in it.
Rachel: Oh! (Motions to Joeys co-star.)
Joey: Oh sorry. Uh-uh, Kash?
Joey: This is my friend Rachel. Rachel, Kash, Kash, Rachel.
Rachel: Well, Joey probably thinks Ill just embarrass him. Yknow, he thinks Im some kind of a soap opera nutWhich Im not! Im not. Although I do know that your uh, your favorite ice cream flavor is butter pecan. (Starts stroking his arm) And uh, and that your-your dogs name is Wally. Well look at that, Im just stroking your arm.
Joey: (grabbing her) Here we go! Here we go! (Starts to pull her away from Kash.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is eating at the counter as Joey enters.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Oh you know uh Kash, really liked you the other day. He said he thought you were charming.
Joey: Hey, Im with you. He even asked me if I thought youd go out with him.
Joey: I said no.
Joey: What? I I just figured since youre pregnant youre not gonna be seeing people.
Rachel: Okay Joey, first of all Kash Ford is not people. Second of all, what did he say when you told him I was pregnant?
Joey: I didnt tell him. I didnt know if you were telling people. This is back when I thought Kash was still people.
Joey: Rach look, I really dont think thats such a great
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is getting ready for her date and Joey is reading a magazine.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: No. No. But Ill go see a normal person movie with ya.
Joey: Its no Ukrainian film.
Joey: I set her up with this actor on my show.
Joey: No
Ross: Joey what-what were you thinking?!
Joey: Well, I was thinking that itd probably be okay because Ross hasnt gone out with Rachel in five years!
Ross: Joey, Im not worried about her! Im worried about my baby! Whoever she dates my baby dates! Now-now where is this (makes the quote-marks sign) actor taking them?
Joey: Hey! Im an (does the quote-marks thing as well) actor too! Im not sure. I think theyre taking the ferry out to some Italian place on Staten Island.
Joey: Are we talking about one of those big boats that carry cars that go like five miles an hour?
(Theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it.)
Kash: Hey Joey.
Joey: Hey Kash. Uh hey-hey this is Ross. Ross, this is Kash.
Ross: Yes it is too slutty! (Joey slams the door before Rachel could hear the entire sentence.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are having dinner.]
Joey: So what movie do you want to seeAnd not another one I have to read. Okay? I get enough of that from books.
Joey: All right, car magazines, cereal boxes, but its like enough!
Joey: And just wait for Rachel to come back from her date?
Joey: Dude! What is going on?!
Joey: Why?
Joey: They go on one date and youre worried about them getting married?! Hes not you!
Joey: Well Ross, what did you think she was gonna do?
Joey: What do you mean?
Joey: Thats a nice picture. Maybe you can still have that!
Joey: Hey, can I ask you something? In this, in this picture of you and your wife, is your wife Rachel?
Joey: Good call. Yeah. But, the face Ross, the face isnt Rachel.
Joey: I know, but I dont think thats what she wants.
Joey: Thats okay Ross maybe you need a new picture. Okay? Its not gonna be what you thought, but no matter what theres gonna be a brand new little baby, your baby. Who cares what the picture looks like?
Joey: Hey, I tell you what. Lets you and me go out and have some fun. Huh? Whatever you want. Come on!
Joey: No, I said fun!
Joey: It's two gifts in one. It's a pen that's also a clock! Huh?
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, you really wanna know how I did it, Ill show ya. When you handed me back the card, what you didnt see was, I looked at it so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye. (picks up a card and quickly looks at it) I just did it. (does it again) I just did it, again. Here, Ill slow it down so that you guys can see it. (looks and the card in slow motion)
Joey: Look weve got to find her. Phoebe just called!! Rachels coming to tell Ross she loves him!!
Ross: (running into the hall, in slow motion) You'll never get me, Joe!!! (he then pretends that he gets shot repeatedly and falls back against Joey and Chandler's door, dead.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are there as Joey enters.]
Joey: Ah, can I just say I know we're doing this for Ross, and that's cool, but if it was up to me, this is not what we'd be doing on our first date.
Felicity: (In a sexy voice.)Hello Joey.
Joey: (pretending to be an announcer) And the winner is Joey Tribbiani! (He then gets excited and goes over to the counter to practice his acceptance speech using a bottle of maple syrup as the award.) Oh Wow! I honestly never expected this. I uh, I didnt prepare a speech. But umm, Id like to thank (Rachel enters quietly) my parents, whove always been there for me. Id also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel
Joey: Hey, whats up?
Joey: At least I care about his feelings!
Joey: I cant believe she would say that too you.
Joey: Oh, hey, hey, can I give you guys your house-warming present now?
Joey: (entering) Hey! Is the show still on?
Joey: Yes! Didnt you ever read Sports Illustrated?! No! I didnt read yours! But come on, we can go to the game tonight!
(Chandler and Joey burst in, with Marcel)
Phoebe: No, Joey! You borrowed my cab; you have to drive it back.
Chandler: Oh I used too, but then Joey thought it would be fun to go to Central Park and hit rocks at bigger rocks. (He starts to leave and stops an entering Rachel.) Hey Rach, do you have a tennis racquet?
Joey: (interrupting him) Uh Ross! Are there uh, are there naked chicks on that piece of paper?
Joey: Why not?!
Joey: Yes!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is sitting at the counter reading a magazine as the phone rings.]
Joey: Really? Thats great! You and my sister, sittin in a tree.
Joey: Let me see that!
Joey: Hey! Any good mail?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is scrapping gum off the table as there is a knock on the door. He goes over and opens it.]
Joey: Ahhh, I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face. (the girls look at him, confused) Oh, I'm out.
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: Why?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is getting ready for a fishing trip and Phoebe is asking him about the fishing lures. Ross is playing with the rod, and Monica is pretty much just watching the on goings.]
Joey: (entering) Hey Estelle, listen
Nurse: Now, which of you is the father? (Points to Joey and Ross)
Joey: What?!
Joey: Bastard!
JOEY: One of the virus victims called in sick, so Cathy recommended me and boom, I'm dying on the gurney. Oh Ross, Marcel just finished his last scene if you want to go down there and say goodbye.
Joey: Yeah! I don't want you on the trip!
Joey: Oh-ooh-ooh! Yknow whats a good visual aide?
Joey: I just have to call my agent and tell her I cant do the part. (Gets up for the phone.)
Joey: (exiting from Chandlers room with the new roommate) Everything on your application looks really goodOhh! Just one last question umm, are you and your friends gonna be over here all the time like partying and hanging out?
Joey: Ooh, like the time you and I went to Atlantic City and I made you laugh so hard you threw up your whole steak?! Remember?
Joey: No, Im picking you up for our date. These are for you. (Hands her some flowers.)
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Check the freezer. If theres none in there, then were probably out. Are you just getting in from work? Its late.
Joey: Sure, now Im scared.
Joey: Yeah, but I dont wanna die!
[Scene: Estelle Leonard Theatrical Agency, Joey is there to see his agent.]
Joey: Yes!!! Ha-ha-ha!
Joey: What? Ace is high! Jack, queen, king, ace!
Joey: Yeah, okay. (Leaves)
Chandler: No, not us (Motions Joey and him.) Us! (Motions Monica and him.)
Joey: Exactly.
Joey: Sure. (To Monica and Rachel) Coffee? Cause Im going up there.
Joey: Yes!
Joey: Well he actually saw you a little bit too.
Joey: Really? You'd-you'd do that for me?!
Joey: Okay. (Starts screaming.)
The Director: Cut!!!!!!!!!! (Joey starts screaming again.)
Joey: Sure you do, it was a gift from me. Oh! And you have these three great kids.
Joey: Well who is this guy?! Huh? Who is he? Cause I will track him down and kick his ass!
[Cut to later, the gang, minus Joey, is watching the Thanksgiving Day parade.]
Joey: So what, like people are gonna come in and think, "Uh-oh, I'm outside again?" Of course!
[Scene: In Phoebes Grandmothers cab, driving up to the cabin. Phoebes driving, Rachels sitting shotgun, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are in the back seat.]
Joey: Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
Joey: No! I would never do that! You-you're like my brother!
Joey: Hey-hey-hey!
Phoebe: Were just celebrating that Joey got his health insurance back.
Joey: Man, I wish Ross was coming with us! Y'know? I'm gonna miss him!
JOEY: Well, you know that guy that's on my show that's in a coma? He's havin' a brunch.
Joey: I dont know, maybe we werent ready to have a chick.
[Scene: The hallway, Joey is coming up the stairs and sees Chandler trying to open the lock.]
Joey: Great! Thanks. (Exits.)
(Joey lies down on the gurney.)
Joey: Yeah, its not mine.
Joey: Yeah, its (looks up and sees the woman) mine.
(Joey spins the bottle and it lands on Emily.)
Monica: Oh stop it. Joey already told me.
(Joey and Chandler come indoors.)
Chandler and Joey: Yeah! Why dont you stick around. You can sit right there.
CHANDLER: Joey, Joey. Hey, some girl just walked up to me and said, 'I want you Dennis,' and stuck her tounge down my throat. I love this party.
Joey: (whining and heading toward the door) Look, it's too late, and I got an audition. I can't shop anymore! I...
Joey: (entering) Hey guys!
Joey: Sure!
Joey: Okay, take it easy.
Joey: Really? Oh uh, oh just give me five more minutes with it.
Joey: Why not?
[Cut to later, Joey is returning from talking to Mr. Treeger.]
Joey: Yeah, so did I.
Joey: Yeah, but its my wax.
Joey: Well Im not proud of this, but (He turns around and starts to mess with his eyelids.)
Joey: Uh, if I may? Umm-umm look, Cliff, you told me a lot of personal stuff about you, right? And maybe-maybe it would if-if would help if-if you knew some personal stuff about her. Uh, she was married to a gay ice dancer. Uh, she gave birth to her brothers triplets. Oh! Oh! Her-her twin sister used to do porn!
Joey: Yeah. We figured when we couldnt find you, youd gone home to make up with Rachel. Which is probably what you shoulda done. Huh?
Joey: What are you talkin about? I never left you! Youve always been my agent!
Joey: Yeah, yeah, I met this woman. (Starts for his room.)
(Joey goes back into the apartment, runs back into the hallway, throws his shoulder against the door, and knocks it down off its hinges.)
Joey: Yeah!! I call that London style.
[Scene: Backstage at Joeys play, Joey is changing for the next scene as Kate arrives, carrying her bags.]
Joey: I look more like him than you do! (He winks at Carol.)
Joey: That part was perfect for me! I can't believe I didn't get it!
Joey: (entering wearing nothing but Porsche clothes) So the Porsche guy took his car back.
Monica: Joey, you know you dont actually have one.
JOEY: That's right, I have a phone in here.