words in movies
Rachel: (laughs) Well okayWell dont ruin it! Just play along at least!
The Casting Director: Terrific! Well uh, theres one more thing. Uhh, uh its really important to the director that everything in this movie is authentic. Yeah and so in your love scene with Sarah she talks about how shes never seen a naked man who wasnt Jewish. So (Laughs.)
Ross: Oh right. Right. Ooh, remember the time I uh, I pinned you down and tickled you til you cried? (She laughs) Were probably too old to do that now.
Chandler: Id like to toast, Ross and Emily. Of course, my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding, so this is kind of my little toast or Melba toast, if you will. (No one in the room laughs. He starts to get flustered.) Okay. I known Ross for a long time. In fact, I knew him when he was going out with his first girlfriend. (Ross looks embarrassed.) And I thought things were going to work out for him..Until the day he over inflated her. (He laughs. Jack looks at Judy and no one in the room laughs.) Ohh, Dear God.. (A cellular phone rings.)
Rachel: (reading the note) "Pheebs, cant make it, got a date. Talk to you later. Big Daddy." (Laughs) Big Daddy?
Joey: I know, yeah. I feel like we're all growing up. Person named Wiener, God that kills me. (Laughs)
[Chandler, trying to make nice with Jack, laughs at his joke and points at Jack.]
[Everyone laughs]
JOEY: Good, otherwise my watch would fall off. [laughs hysterically]
Rachel: (laughs) Well, I mean, are you sure you want to go out with her? I mean that aint a pretty picture in the morning, yknow what I mean. That wig all in disarray, and boobs flung over the night stand, y'know.
(She laughs at the childhood memory. Phoebe smiles at being able to make her point.)
Ross: I like it. I do, I think it's a Ten. (Chandler laughs.)
Mona: Huh, could you imagine. I go away for a few days, and come back, and my boyfriend is living with some woman he got pregnant! (Mona laughs yes again!)
Richard: Oh, (laughs) that was the blind date that I told you about, she called and switched it to today.
Rachel: (reading what he wrote again) "Dear Rach, youre a great person. Sorry about your tiney-wienie." (Will laughs.)
Ross: Okay. (He leans in to kiss her again, but she leans back preventing him from making contact.) Wow, its-its 5:30 in the morning. (Rachel laughs) So, Id better get cracking on this baby.
Monica: I might've said that. (Chandler laughs.) Why is that funny?
Ross: (on the phone) Yes, hello. I have a question. Umm, I used your pen to draw on my friend's face. (Listens) A beard and a moustache. (Listens and laughs) Thank you. (Rachel turns around and glares at him.) No, she didn't think so. (Listens) I know it's like (turns and sees Rachel staring at him and quickly changes the subject) anyway, umm well make-up didn't cover it and we've tried everything to get it off and nothing's worked. What-what do we do? (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Oh! Okay. (Listens) Okay, thank you! (Rachel gets excited at his tone.) (Hangs up the phone) Yeah, it's not coming off.
Monica: Oh. (she laughs)
Ross: Its a good thing I didnt do it, because it sounds like it wouldve been a very expensive wedding. (Rachel laughs) Okay, good night
Phoebe: Okay, oh and you know, if she gets upset, just scratch her tummy and give her a liver snout. (laughs and hangs up the phone)
Rachel: (laughs and pushes the chair back in) Yeah, well, y'know umm No honey, listen I think it's a great idea to become friends with someone before you date them, but I think the way you do it is y'know you meet someone, become their friend, build a foundation, then you ask them out on a date. Don't hit on your existing friends!
Chandler: Oh, shes got you running errands, yknow, picking up wedding dresses (Laughs and makes like Indiana Jones and his whip) Wah-pah!
Phoebe: Oh well y'know. (laughs)
Rachel: (laughs) You ah, you didnt say Yes to that did you?
Rachel: Oh! (laughs) Thats fine.
Chandler: (laughs) No. No!
The Salesman: (laughs) You need these books.
Mrs. Geller: (laughs) Im not freaking out.
Chandler: (laughs) Right in there!
Phoebe: (laughs) Okay, quit down. (they start to kiss again)
Kathy: (laughs) What about the duck?
Kathy: (laughs) Oh-oh-oh-oh!
Chandler: Gotcha! (laughs)
Emily: (laughs) Well, I should hope not. Ross knows better than that by now.
[Scene: Rosss bedroom, Rachel getting into bed while Ross is reading and laughs.]
Chandler: Oh that's so cool! Why would a cop come in here though? They don't serve donuts. (No one laughs.) Y'know what actually, could you discover the badge again? I think I can come up with something better than that.
Monica: (laughs) Please, its a relief is what it is, is what it is.
Chandler: so then the farmer says, "Thats not a cow and youre not milking it." (Everyone laughs.)
Emily: (laughs) Ross play rugby? I dont think so.
Chandler: (laughs) No you cant.
Chandler: (laughs) Okay, we have to talk. Im just getting out of a very serious relationship
(Chandler laughs without opening his mouth.)
(Rachel laughs hysterically for no reason.)
Ross: Okay here, have one of these peppers. Oh ha Oh God! So so hot! (Rubs his eyes.) Oh my(Laughs.) By the way, you dont want to touch the pepper and then touch your eye.
Rachel: Well, they never have any paper in there y'know. So my rule is no tissue, no tuschy. (Phoebe laughs and gets out.) Well, if everybodys going. (She gets out and starts to close the door.)
Rachel: (laughs) Yeah, okay, at ease solider!
Joey: (Laughs) Of course we do! Mike is playing a game that we used to play in high school. Yeah, where we pretend we don't know each other. We played all kinds of games. (To Mike) Hey, remember the one where I punch you in the face for not being cool?!
Joey: Ross! (Laughs) Theyre gonna kill you!
(Rachel laughs hysterically.)
Phoebe: (laughs and picks up another lure) And this?
Ross: (laughs) Move in with me.
Monica: (laughs) Okay.
Joey: (laughs) Actually, I didnt know the magazine was paying for it. Wouldnt have mattered, Im doing this for the fans, not for the free food.
Phoebe: (laughs) Thank you.
Phoebe: (laughs) All I could think of was yknow, "Is he gonna kiss me? Is he gonna kiss me?"
Phoebe: So you do know who he is! (laughs, Ross stares at her) Sorry.
Rachel: (laughs) Oh my God! Oh, thats funny, I cant believe I did that.
Frank: (laughs) Not to me.
Joey: No! No. Umm, just myself and if they dont like me for(Laughs.) Im sorry I couldnt even get through that.
Ross: (laughs) That uh, that was pretty funny. Wasnt it?
Monica: (laughs) Thats okay.
Ross: I thought I heard voices! Hi Charlie! (Kisses her.) Hi Joey. (Hugs him.) And.. Oh! You're gonna have to introduce me to your new girlfriend. (Laughs.) I'm just kidding, I know Rachel, I know. (He squeezes her hand.) Come, please come in. Come in.
Monica: (laughs) Yes, I did! And you are welcome!
(She laughs and opens the door to reveal Rachel sitting on the bed.)
Rachel: (laughs) I'm sorry, that's not funny.
(She laughs.)
Emily: Oh, Liam. (Ross laughs and takes her back.)
Joey: (laughs, softly) Yeah, the stripper stole it.
Chandler: Oh. (takes the cassette and puts it on his arm like the stop smoking patch, and it falls off.) Nope, that patch is no good. (Joey and Monica both do their fake laughs.)
Phoebe: (laughs) Please.
(Monica is taking a drink as Ross says that, laughs, and snorts her drink.)
Phoebe: Hey, guys, you know what Larry would say? He would say, "See you ladle." (Laughs.)
Dr. Leedbetter: (laughs) A sandwich?
(The woman who had tried to steal the washing machine walks by, and laughs.)
Ross: (laughs as well, but for a different reason) Yeah, I didnt think of that.
Tim: I I-I dont know, but I would say its pretty good-o. (Phoebe laughs too hard.)
(Phoebe laughs.)
Phoebe: Okay. (She laughs harder.)
Ross: Wha? Oh, come on. You didnt have tosaltwater taffy?! (Mona laughs) Thanks! This is interesting. You know, most people think this is made with sea water, but its actually made with, uh, salted fresh water. Thats not interesting.
Joey: Yeah-yeah. And the craziest thing is that I just ate a whole pizza by myself! (Laughs)
Dr. Leedbetter: (laughs) Oh, you know what?
Joey: (laughs) Thats cause sometimes I just do it through my wall to freak you out.
(Joey laughs then realizes the trick didn't work when Chandler hands him his card back.)
Alice: (laughs) No. No. No. (Sits down.) Okay, now, see, I wanna name the girl baby Leslie, and Frank wants to name one of the boy babies Frank JR. JR.
Janice: I love this artichoke thing! Oh, don't tell me what's in it, the diet starts tomorrow! (Laughs her Janice laugh)
Phoebe: Ohh, (laughs) umm, we kinda took a little detour on the way over here.
Rachel: (Laughs) Oh, me too.
Monica: I know. Lets try a look of far off wonderment. Okay, well-well gaze into our future and well think about our marriage and the days to come. (Chandler is still not getting it.) Chandler! What is the matter with your face?! I mean this picture is supposed to say "Geller and Bing to be married," not "Local woman saves drowning moron!" (The photographer laughs.) Hey! Dont laugh at him! Hes my drowning moron!
Rachel: Hello! (She makes a face and the kid laughs harder. Finally, his parents drag him off.) Ohh, kids love me.
Joey: (laughs) You're kidding right?
Rachel: (laughs) What?! Are you crazy?
Monica: I mean I have not been picked on this much since kindergarten and they had to bring in someone from junior high to do the see-saw with me. (Joey laughs and Monica glares at him.)
Rachel: Ohh! Oh God! (Laughs her way into the living room.)
Rachel: Whoa! (Laughs) Y'know what Katie? I gotta tell ya I-I-I-I think you are the one who is too much. (She punches Katie back.)
(Joey laughs nervously and goes to his bedroom.)
Rachel: (laughs) I knew that! I knew that! I was just messin with you too!
Kim: My late husband gave me that lighter. (Rachel laughs.) I'm not kidding.
Ross: Fine. Fine, but I want the record to show that I tried to take the high road, because in about five minutes Im gonna be saying (He laughs and points at Rachel sarcastically.)
Gary: (laughs, then suddenly serious) What's up?
Rachel: (laughs) I cannot believe Ross is buying this!
Paul: Okay. Ill give you one chance to change my mind. (Ross laughs in relief) You got one minute. (Ross suddenly gets worried.)
Ross: Rach, come on, if you think about it, its actually kinda funny. (He laughs, and he laughs alone.) Okay, maybe its best not to think about it.