words in movies
Phoebe: Well not so much a pet as, you know, an occasional visitor who I put food out for, you know. Kinda like Santa. Except Santa doesn't poop on the plate of cookies.
Mike: I don't know but they don't sound like spa treatments. You have to get rid of it!
Rachel: It was ... (can't remember) oh my god. He didn't have a last name. It was just "Tag". You know, like Cher, or, you know, Moses.
Joey: Man, I wish I had a nanny like you.
Ross: Yeah, obvious beauty's the worst. You know, when it's right there in your face. Me, I like to have to work to find someone attractive. Makes me feel like I earned it.
Chandler: Looks like Joey is doing allright with her.
Phoebe: I don't know, I kinda like Bob for a girl.
Ross: Wh - No. Some woman who sounded a lot like Joey called earlier and asked for her daughter, the "hot nanny".
Ross: Well we gotta do something, ok? Nannies like her don't grow on trees. (pause)
Joey: Now YOU'RE telling me I can't see her?? You guys are killing me! She's forbidden fruit! It's like ... like she's the princess and I'm the stable boy ... Why are you doing this, huh? Did Ross tell you not to let me go over there?
Rachel: If you like looking at butts so much why don't you just go look at a mirror?
Rachel: Yeah I am, I am! Oh, but first of all, Monica, I would like to introduce you to my very talented colleage and more importantly my wonderful friend Gavin Mitchelle.
Monica: Maybe he's bothering you so much because he likes you. It's like in first grade when Skippy Langwild always pushed me on the playground because he secretly had a crush on me?
Monica: So this is what a stroke feels like.
Phoebe: Well I'm sorry Rachel, but I'm not like you, ok? Not everyone can afford help. (she and Mike leave)
Joey: No ... the leather sticks to my ass. You know, this isn't fair. What makes you think that I'm just gonna sleep with her and then blow her off? Huh? Can't you guys open your minds to the possibility that I actally like her, and might want something real? (pause) Look, the truth is, I haven't felt this way about anyone since Rachel, ok? I didn't think I could ever love again.
Joey: It's like my favorite fairy tale come true! (Chandler looks at him) The princess, the stable boy and the lesbian!
Phoebe: No. (opens the box) wh - get off your sister! Oh my god, what are we gonna do? We have 7 rats. So what if each of them has 7 rats? And then each of those have 7 rats? That's like ... (starts counting with her fingers) That's math I can't even do! What are we gonna do?
Phoebe: (likes the jacket) No, but I like it. I think I left one of my rat babies.
Richard: I still love you. And I know I probably shouldnt even be here telling you this, I mean youre with Chandler a guy I really like, and if you say hes straight Ill believe you! After seeing ya the other night I knew if I didnt tell ya Id regret it for the rest of my life. Letting you go was the stupidest thing I ever did.
PHOEBE: Ok, Ross, could you just open your mind like this much, ok? Wasn't there a time when the brightest minds in the world believed that the world was flat? And, up until like what, 50 years ago, you all thought the atom was the smallest thing, until you split it open, and this like, whole mess of crap came out. Now, are you telling me that you are so unbelievably arrogant that you can't admit that there's a teeny tiny possibility that you could be wrong about this?
Ross: Great. I feel like an idiot.
Monica: Maybe because it's you hung your head out of the window like a dog the whole ride here.
Mackenzie: Like what?
JOEY: What are you . ..� (He sees her in her negligee.)� Why are you dressed like that?
Joey: What about her? They've only been going out for two weeks. Ross has been in love with you for like 10 years.
Joey: What am I gonna do, I feel like I'm losing my friends.
Rachel: Ew, was Chandler naked? Sort of like a, like a ring toss kind of situation?
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh hey! Can you, can you hang on a second? (To Phoebe and Rachel) Its the producers over at Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. can you excuse me for a minute? (On phone) Hey, funny you should call. I was just looking over next weeks script. (Listens) Canceled?! (Listens) Like theyre taking it off the air? (Listens) Ohh. (Listens) All right, see you Monday. (Listens) Were not even shootin them anymore?!! (Listens) All right, bye! (Hangs up) They canceled Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E!
Michelle: It�s so amazing I met you the same day that Eric broke up with me, because it�s like you lose a boyfriend,you get a boyfriend.
Phoebe Sr.: No, Im not done. I-I-I just want you to know that I, the reason I didnt look you up was, well I was afraid that youd react, just well like, the way, the way youre reacting right now, and cant we just, y'know, start from here?
Ross: Im, Im sorry you didnt get to go to Spacecamp, and Im hoping that maybe somehow, this may make up for it. Presenting Sarah Tuttles Private Very Special Spacecamp!! (opens the door and Chandler and Joey jump up, their apartment is decorated like outer space, one of the leather chairs is covered in tinfoil.)
Monica: Ours is so much better! This living room is smaller, the dining room looks like a cave! What a hole!
Matt: It tastes like (mimicking him in a high-pitched voice) feet!
Dana: Apparently Howies editing now. Yeah, he-he-he calls me up and asks me if he can edit my new movie. Can you believe that?! Yknow I-I-I havent spoken to him in like ten years and he asks me for a favor!
Joey: Name? (Ross looks at him.) I know Ross but whats it short for? You know like, like Rossel or Rosstepher.
Joey: Look, I dont know why the kids need a youth center anyway! Yknow? They should just watch TV after school like I did and I turned out fine!
Joey: Can I ask you something? Uhm, what's it like there?
Phoebe: Well, so what I like him! Do I make fun of the people youve dated? Tag, Janice, Mona? No, because friends dont do that. But, do you want my opinion? Do you want it? Cause in my opinion, your collective dating record reads like the whos who of human crap. (Walks off)
Ross: That was in high school! Its not like it was binding forever.
Rachel: Joey, come on! It doesn't matter, you know, it's not like anything's gonna happen.
Phoebe: Umm, Im a masseuse by day. (Stands with her hands on her hips like a Supergirl pose.)
RICHARD: Oh, yeah, I don't like you this way. All right, I'll see you guys later.
JOEY: Wow!� That didn't take long.� I thought you said Tulsa was, like a three hour flight.
Phoebe: Are you kidding? Im like the one who talked him into it. I like to think of myself as the puppet master of the group.
Ross: Yeah well, he's not gonna get this one. Ben is way cuter than that kid. I mean look at him, look at you, (Starts to whine like a baby and Joey just glares at him.)
Monica: I know what you mean. You're like a sister to me too.
Ross: How would he like to come with me to the Museum of Natural History after everyone else has left, just the two of us, and he can touch anything he wants. (Mr. Zellner looks shocked). I just heard it as you must have heard it and that’s not good. Let me start again. I’m a paleontologist, you’ll be there with us and the touching refers only to bones… fossils!
Wayne: C.H.E.E.S.E. is right here. (He puts on his headset, picks up the controller, and wheels C.H.E.E.S.E. in. C.H.E.E.S.E. is just a plain old robot on tracks; he kinda looks like No. 5 in the movie Short Circuit.)
Pete: Look, forget the check, okay. (rips up the check) I like you. I think youre great. Come on, what do you say?
Ross: That's what it seemed like.
(Erica just looks at him like he's crazy.)
Kristen: But-but this block is like a whole other world.
Rachel: (interrupting him) Okay-okay-okay! So, making things. That sounds like so much fun.
Doctor: It looks like we're about ready over here.
Erica: Oh my God, that's just like my name!
Chandler: So, we'll tell the truth and who knows, maybe she'll like us for us.
Rachel: Ah! You know what honey guys are just different, they like things that we can't understand, you know I once dated this guy who wanted to pretend he was an archeologist and I was a naughty cave woman that he unfroze from a block of ice.
Ross: Im gonna go get him! Okay, I am going back in! (Squeals like a madman.)
Erica: Yeah, you know, maybe I ate too much. I keep getting these stomach-aches. They come and go like every few minutes.
Chandler: Like war. Or that thing in Joey's refrigerator. Remember? It was in a milk carton but it looked like meat?
Chandler: You mean that Portuguese couple? Yeah, like you wouldn't have done it. (she shrugs)
Rachel: Thats-thats great! See? I already feel like I know you a little better! Thank you. Okay, come on. Now we can go eat. Lets go. (Gets up to leave, but Paul doesnt move.)
Joey: Oh Monica. (goes over and hugs her, then looks at the form and stops hugging her.) Wow, this guy's an astronaut. That would've been cool, (sees Monica) for like a day. (hugs her again).
Fergie: Joey says you dont really like his hat, but I think its kinda dashing.
Chandler: (coming up under center, just like a real quarterback does, and puts his hands between Rosss legs.) Twenty-three!! Seventy-four!! (Ross stands up and looks at him) You wanna go shotgun?
ROSS: Who's Richard Burke? Doc, Doctor Burke? You have a date with Doctor Burke? Why, why, why should that bother me? I, I love that man, he's like a uh, brother to dad.
Monica: (laughs) I dont have anything like that, but let me go see if Rachel does.
Paul: And anyhow, Im sorry I was so harsh before, but you have to understand that I (pause) still look at Lizzie like shes a twelve-year-old girl.
Phoebe: Well okay, let this be a lesson to all of you, all right. Once you, once you betray me, I become like the ice woman, yknow. Very cold, hard, unyielding, y'know nothing, nothing can penetrate this icy exterior. (to Monica) Can I have a tissue, please?
Ross: (to Rachel) Haha! Looks like you're not going to be in the wedding either. (Looks at Phoebe) So sorry Pheebs.
Phoebe: Well, freaked. Cause it turns out that the odds are really sucky. And! This is Frank and Alices like only shot. Like, they are literally putting all of their eggs in my basket.
Chandler: Ahh, just like the apothecary tables of yore
Joey: Noooo... Three Blind Mice goes like this... (he puts his fingers in position on the recorder)
Rachel: Yknow, like the thing when you put the phone in your pants? (He starts laughing.) Tag! Im serious! This isnt funny! Those contracts absolutely had to go out today!
Megan: Oh Im not, I just like to try these on.
Phoebe: No idea! I though he was soft like you!
Rachel: Because, I feel like I wouldn't just be going out with him. I would be going out with all of you. Oh, and there would just be all this pressure, and I don't wanna...
Ross: (loudly) Why?! Are there like bears or something?! (Looks around and then sees that Elizabeth is shaking her head no and realizes what Elizabeth meant.) Ohh. Oh, protection. Yeah-no, yeah-no, that-that-that I forgot.
Monica: Are you kidding?! I practically spent my entire childhood at the arcade! This is likeOh my, this is like my second favorite game!
Phoebe: Obviously I didn't think they were gonna start throwing things. I just thought if I kept insulting everyone, you would jump in and defend everyone and then you could look like the hero.
Emily: Oh, no-no-no, thats not rude! Its perfectly in keeping with a trip that Ive already been run down by one of your wiener carts, and been strip-searched at John F. Kennedy Airport, apparently to you people, I look like someone whos got a balloon full of cocaine stuffed up their bum.
Guy: Would you like to go out and have a cup of coffee?
Rachel: Well, I dont know about that, but some said that I looked like a floating angel.
Joey's Date: Ew, yknow what? One time I saw this guy from behind and he seemed like a totally normal guy and then he turned around and it was Stephan Baldwin!
ROSS: Animal sex, animal sex? So what're you saying, I mean, you're saying that like, there's nothing between us animal at all. I mean there's not even like, uhm, a little animal, not even, not even like, like chipmunk sex?
Chandler: Right here! (Clucks like a chicken for some reason.)
Rachel: No! None! I mean, my first night in the city, he mentioned something about asking me out, but nothing ever happened, so I just... (to Joey): W-well, what else did he say? I mean, does he, like, want to go out with me?
Chandler: It feels like we’re cheating on our house. And if we’re gonna cheat, shouldn’t it be with like a hot, younger house, that does stuff that our house won’t do?
Ross: Look guys, when Im with her its-its-its like she brings this-this-this great side out of me. I mean I-I-I love her, yknow?
Monica: Y'know, so I don't read as many important books as you do, and I don't write trick poems that seem to be about one thing but are actually about something else. And y'know what, I get excited about stupid stuff, like when I my People magazine comes on Saturday, and the new Hold Everything catalog. Y'know but that does not mean that I'm empty, I care about things. I care about my friends and family. You have no right to make that kind of judgment about me.
Monica: Oh honey, were close now but you-you wouldnt believe the years of-of nugies, and wedgies, and flying wedgies, and atomic wedgies, and....(Phoebe shakes her head like she doesnt understand) Thats where the waistband actually goes over your head.
Joey: Is that why you bought all this stuff?! (Chandler makes a face like "Well, kinda.") Well, yknow what I will not watch your TV, I will not listen to your stereo, and theres a cinnamon raisin loaf in the new bread maker that Im not gonna eat! You know why?!
Chandler: Maybe. Unless they're like two people who have lived in apartments next to each other for years, and then one day they're pushed through a vagina and they meet.
Rachel: Oh really? Well how would you like it if I had sex with you and I taped it? (Joey smiles luridly) Oh forget it! (Ross enters.) Oh there he is now, the father of my child, the porn king of the west village.
Phoebe: Ugh! I dont know Monica. It feels funny just being here. I mean if you buy a bed from Janices ex-husband, thats like betraying Chandler.
Joey: Okay. Okay. Umm Ooh! Oh-oh, I got something. Its this story I came up with, very romantic. I swear any woman that hears it; theyre like putty.
Monica: (on phone) Hey listen umm, how would you like to get together? Say next Saturday? (Listens) Okay, how about Sunday? (Listens) Okay umm, the week after that? (Listens) The week after that? (Listens) Yknow what Greg? Yknow what? We are good, interesting, funny people with good questions and if you and your precious Jenny cant see that then (Listens) January 15th? (Chandler dances.) Well see you then! (Listens) Okay!
Phoebe: Yeah, I really do. You know, I had nothing growing up. (thinks for a few seconds) Just like the kids I took the money from.
Joey: Like when I want a job, I go to an audition and if Im the best of the people they see, they give me the part.
Phoebe: Well this doesnt even smell like opium.
Mr. Treeger: (measures the top of the doorframe) Whoa! This looks like an all day job, Ill have to cancel my yoga class. (Ross walks up.) Hey Ross!
Conan: Its a tradition here on Friends after every taping for me to hang out with you guys, (They all laugh) talk down the episode umm The point of this whole thing is what people see in America is: they see Friends, they love the show, it looks like a smooth running machine, but behind the scenes theres deceit, mistrust, and hate. And I thought, I thought wed actually take a look at uh, yknow some of these moments where you guys arethere are mistakes. You make mistakes.
Phoebe: Okay, stop! Larry, okay, can't you just be Larry and not Larry the health inspector guy? Y'know I mean it was really exciting at first but now it's like, okay, so where are we gonna eat ever?
EDDIE: Not Sean Penn. Alright, I, I've got a funny one, alright. My last girlfriend Tilly. Ok, we're eating breakfast, right, and I made all these pancakes, there was like 50 pancakes right. And all of the sudden she turns to me, alright, and she says, 'Eddie.' I say, 'yeah,' she says, 'Eddie, I don't want to see you anymore.' And it was literally like she had reached into my chest, ripped out my heart, and smeared it all over my life, ya know. And now there's like this incredible abyss, ya know, and I'm falling and I keep falling and I don't think I'm ever gonna stop. [finishes laughing] That uh, wasn't such a funny story, was it?
Monica: Oh, wow, can you believe you're like three weeks away?
Gunther: (In his head) Say Rachel, I was wondering if youd like to go to a movie with me sometime. As my lover! Nnnsch, to out there. Maybe youd just like to ah, get something to eat with me sometime? As my lover.
Tag: Ms. Green would like to establish some ground rules before she comes out. She would appreciate it if you dont use the words old or downhill or (To Joey) they still look pretty damn good. (Joey smiles and everyone glares at him.)
Rachel: Well, y'know, if-if kids like to play with Capri pants.
Rachel: Chandler, dont worry! This doesnt make you any less of a guy! (Chandler starts blowing on his fingernails like women do.) That does! (Chandler stops blowing.) What am I sitting on? (She looks and finds a huge nail.) I hate to think what this woman was scratching when this broke off.
Chandler: No, there are great pictures of you standing next to a guy whos going like this (Makes what can only be described as a toothy frown. Henceforth, this shall be known as The Face.)
Emily: And uh, Liam, Liams got bad knees. You hit him right and hell go down like a lamp.
Phoebe: Okay umm, Id also like to try on the tiara. (The male jeweler hands it to her.) Oh yeah. Okay. (Puts it on.) (To the jeweler) What do you think, too much?
Joey: No room? Its a baby. Its like this big. (Holds his hands about a foot apart.) Yknow, I mean you-you could you could put it over here. (A desk.) Or-or-or we could put it right here. (The chair.) Aw, its cute, right? Or-or we could put it over here. (By the bathroom door.) You wouldnt even notice it. Wheres the baby? (Mumbles that its over in the corner.)
Paul: No, I'm telling you last night was like umm, all my birthdays, both graduations, plus the barn raising scene in Witness.
Monica: Its not like I want to get married tomorrow! Its just that I-Id like to believe that Im in a relationship thats actually going somewhere, that Im not just wasting my time!
Elizabeth: Ross, its going to be okay. Im not going down there to hook up with a bunch of guys. I really like you. I like how things are going between us.
Joey: Just... seeing what it'd be like to be a paleontologist... it's fun, yeah!
JOEY: Well then tell me things like, 'Joey you'll be fine,' and, 'Hang in there,' and, and, 'Somethin' big's fonna come along, I know it.'