words in movies
(Ross looks at her, then leaves slamming the door behind him.)
(Everyone looks at him. He realizes he just spilled the beans about Ross's crush on Rachel.)
Phoebe: This is so cool, til Monica gets back, its like Im head chef and I get to make all the decisions. (She looks at the remaining butter, and then decides to add it to the dish.)
Mrs. Geller: (To Chandler) Youve done a wonderful job with this party Chandler. Everything looks so lovely.
(Phoebe turns and looks at Monica, while Joey frantically motions to Chandler to help him out.)
Phoebe: Oh my God! (Joey looks at her.) Im sorry, too soon. You go.
Monica: Really? (Looks.) My God, hes really cute.
Ross: We are having a baby together, but were not involved. (The cashier, a very beautiful woman, looks confused) I mean, uh we-we were seeing each other a while ago, but then we were just friends. And then there was one drunken night. (Rachel looks at him angrily) Or, yes stranger, wed like this delivered please.
Mike: So...? What do you think? (looks at his parents, which look in disgust)
Joey: Wow! This looks great!
Ross: A little? Your place looks like page 72 of the catalogue. Oh look at that! The ornamental bird cage! Large!
Monica: Well, its done about two minutes before it looks like that.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is working on the seating chart while Chandler looks on and Rachel reads.]
Monica: (Monica looks at Rachel in disbelief) She said WHAT?
[Cut to Elizabeth Hornswoggle's bathroom, Ross frantically pulls his shirt out and drops his pants. He exhales in sheer ecstasy as the coolness of the bathroom envelops his legs. He sits on the cast iron bathtub, again gasping in pleasure. He next grabs a magazine and starts to blow air on his exposed legs, but that doesn't work the way he wants it to. So he throws the magazine down, looks around for another idea, and finds one. He jumps up and hops to the sink. He turns on the water and starts to splash some on his legs, cooling them further.]
Rachel: (singing) Love to love ya baby! Ow! Love to love ya baby! Ow! (There's a knock on the door, she turns off the music, puts on her robe, and goes to answer the door.) Love to love ya, baby! (There's another knock.) Darnit! (Looks through the peephole and turns on the lights.) Ugh. (She opens the door to Ross who's leaning against the door jam.)
JOEY: Aww, Rach, I think you look cute (kisses her on the cheek, then looks at Ross) And you, uh, you, you I could eat with a spoon (goes to kiss him).
Joey: Oh uh, ordinarily I would love too, but I am just swamped right now. (Brushes something off of his shirt and looks around, but doesnt move from his chair.)
Chandler: Id like to toast, Ross and Emily. Of course, my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding, so this is kind of my little toast or Melba toast, if you will. (No one in the room laughs. He starts to get flustered.) Okay. I known Ross for a long time. In fact, I knew him when he was going out with his first girlfriend. (Ross looks embarrassed.) And I thought things were going to work out for him..Until the day he over inflated her. (He laughs. Jack looks at Judy and no one in the room laughs.) Ohh, Dear God.. (A cellular phone rings.)
Monica: (Comes up for below the covers and looks concerned.) Do you think he knew I was here? (Chandler quickly looks at Monica not knowing what to say.)
MONICA: [to Ross] Looks like he's playin' baseball.
Helena: We? (Looks at Monica who nods.)
Rachel: Yeah! But I dont know what he looks like!
(Rachel looks bored. At this point, Rossa figment of Rachel's imagination shows up on the balcony and starts talking to her.)
Rachel: (she looks at the cake) Oh my God! Look what... you made it into a bunny. How did you do that?
Joey: Ooh! A tape with a girls name on it. It's probably a sex tape... (realises) Wait a minute... This says Monica... (looks around) And this is Richard's apartment... (realises some more)
Phoebe: Yeah. (Looks.) Oh, thats gone too. This is Monicas bathroom right?!
Joey: I like to see the previews. (Rachel looks at him.) The candy.
Monica: (looks at Chandler) In in two weeks.
Phoebe: So Theodore... I uhm... I can see where Mike gets his good looks from...
Chandler: Im going crazy! Okay? Do you have any thing around here that looks homemade?
Chandler: We're not gonna have this conversation again... Look at this place. Why am I so intimidated by this guy? Pretentious art, this huge macho couch. When we know all he does is sit around all day crying about losing Monica to a real man! (laughs) You don't think he's here, do you? (Joey looks around)
Joey: (to the dog) Cmere. Hey. Cmere. Thats Rachel. Shes the one who used to live here. Might as well be honest with youwe love her. But we cant have her. I really miss her. Well, hey, you understand, right? Youre a guy. (thinks about it and picks up the dog and looks) Well, you used to be.
(Joey looks at him, Phoebe tries not to smile, and Chandler is shocked.)
Chandler: Are you serious?! I mean like eloping?! No more stupid wedding stuff?! No more these flowers or these flowers or these flowersThink of the money well save!! (Monica just looks at him.) Were not eloping. I love the flowers. Can our wedding be bigger please?
Chandler: (looks at Monica then at them) We need the stuff.
(Phoebe and Joey trade looks)
Phoebe: Yeah okay... yeah, your mom... okay... She looks nice, I can talk to her.
(He looks up at her face and Phoebe, slipping out of character, smiles back at him. Joey's voice becomes soft and warm.)
Rachel: Ohhh! (Looks at Aaron and recoils in horror.) Wow! He kinda takes your breath away doesnt he?
(Joey turns and looks at quite possibly one of the ugliest pets that you can possibly buy on the planet. Rachel has bought herself a hairless cat. Yep, a hairless cat! Joey and Ross start to get sick.)
(Rachel looks at Ross and gets his approval.)
Ross: (I can't make it out.) The uh, your hair, before, your hair, you said you thought your looks like an 8-year-old's, and I'm just saying I like it. The hair.
(Ross and Rachel trade looks while watching the tape.)
Phoebe: (looks down) No. But thanks. (Walks away.)
Monica: Oh. (turns and looks at Joey, who gives a way-to-go thumbs up and smile.)
Ross: (sounds excited) Hi you guys! what's going on, you... you guys wanna hang out...or...? (Looks around the room nervously) do you...do you guys hear a buzzing?
Pete: Its okay, its not as bad as it looks, its a precaution. Ah, Im not supposed to move my spine.
(Joey looks down and his look turns from shock to satisfaction.)
Ross: Well I dont know, but how-how great would that be huh? You living in my building. I could help take care of the baby. I can come over whenever I want. (Rachel looks at him.) With your permission.
(Matt turns back and looks and them, but instead of his next line he starts laughing.)
Interviewer: So it looks like youve got some great experience here. Lets see ahh, reason for leaving last job?
Joey: What?! (Grabs his condoms from his pocket and looks.)
Rachel: (seeing the collection of characters.) Wow! It looks like the Easter Bunnys funeral in here.
Monica: Well, the end table is wrong, The couch looks bizarre and don't even get me started on the refrigerator magnets.
Ross: Im telling you, this looks exactly like your wedding! Arent these the same flowers?
Ross: Look this is starting to look really bad for me. Okay? Mona, Monas standing right over there. (Looks behind him.) Oh God, shes talking to Joey! You gotta let me win!
[Time Lapse, the babies are finally asleep. Good for Phoebe! The only problem is, Monicas apartment looks like a tornado, a hurricane, a swarm of locusts, fire, brimstone, hail, and giant man-eating, radioactive ants have torn the place apart. Needless to say, its messy enough to cause Monica to die of shock right away. Parents with small children know what Im talking about.]
(They quickly take their places and Here Comes the Bride Begins to play. Everyone seated looks back. Emily is being escorted up the aisle by her father. She kisses him on the cheek and takes her place by Rosss side.)
Monica: My god, if I had a nickel for every guy I wish I hadn't...(Everyone looks at her), but this is about your horrible mistake.
Customer: (looks at it) All right. (Exchanges rings.)
Mr. Geller: I wanna be buried at sea, it looks like fun.
Rachel: I accidentally packed these with my stuff. (looks at the dog and gasps) Who is this?
(Now they kiss passionately... and then Ross enters with Emma. They freeze, pull away and look at Ross who looks like he just can't believe what he's seeing. Joey straightens his shirt, and Rachel says I'm so-oo sorry, and presses her breasts together, just like Joey did before.)
Rachel: What the... DIAL IT DOWN! (Joey goes to sit on the bed) Listen, ok, and maybe they're crazy thoughts, but sometimes I do, I have, I've been thinking about... you know, us! (looks at Joey, who's totally distraught) Ok, dial it up a little!
Phoebe: I'll find Bob, I'll get him. Bob? (starts looking) Bob! Robert! (looks at cabinet under sink) Oh wait, I think I hear him. Oh - Oh my god! Bob had babies! Bob's a mom!
Amy: (looks confused) N-no... uhm... did I buy a falafel from you yesterday?
Chandler: I'll tell you what, for the rest of our lives, I'll be careful until told otherwise. <looks at china> hey wait a minute this isn't the china we picked out..
Chandler: Come on, dont be crazy. (To Rachel) You dont think theres someone out there better suited for Monica than me, do ya? (Rachel looks at him.)
Joey: Whom. (Everyone looks at him shocked.) Thats right.
Ross: I know, I know! When I was here for Holidays on Ice (Joey looks around worried hoping no one heard that) I was sitting so far away Michelle Kwan couldn't read my banner!
Monica: Umm, so how long have you been working with your dad? (He looks at her) Come on, one of us had to mention him.
Joey: Uh.. <forgetting what the work thing was, rolls up his sleeve on his right arm and shows Phoebe, she looks>
Ross: Come on! Come on! Here, okay-okay, you see this? (Points) This tiny thing that looks like a peanut?
Rachel: All right I know, I know how it looks Pheebs, but Im telling you
Joey: This is embarrassing. (Looks it up.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is trying to erase Chandlers dirty words while he looks on.]
(He looks at Rachel and winks, she gives him the thumbs-up sign.)
Guy: (To Phoebe) Oh, excuse me! I think you dropped s (looks at Phoebe.) Wow!
Chandler: Oh, I figured you guys would all be mad at me. So I got you some gifts that I found on the side of the road. (Looks into the bag.) Who wants the teddy bear with one leg?
[Ross looks at Joey coyly.]
Ross: Wow! It looks like we got a lot of good stuff.
Rachel: Tag? (He turns and looks at her.) Hi, who was that?
Frank Jr. (looks at the triplets): Look at them! Aw. I love you so much. (Strokes Leslie's hair, and she moves a little.) Oh crap, don't wake up, don't wake up!
Phoebe: Lilly's dead. (He looks up in shock.)
Phoebe: No ones here! (Monica looks at her.) Oh damnit!
Rachel: Oh, I guess. Except everything looks like jammies now.
Phoebe: That's okay Rachel. I'm not judging you; that's just who you are. Me. I'm more free y'know? I run like I did when I was a kid, cause that's the only way it's fun. Y'know, I mean didnt you ever run so fast you thought your legs were gonna fall off? Y'know, like when you were like running towards the swings or running away from Satan? (Rachel looks confused) The neighbor's dog.
Ross: Yeah? Wow! It looks really violent!
Joey: Thats not gonna happen. No. (Looks up) Because we have a new deal!
(Rachel turns and looks at Ross.)
(Monica smiles to cover her embarrassment, but Rachel sadly looks away...)
Phoebe looks down: You are a terrific actor.
Rachel: Yeah well it looks great!
(The dog returns with a ball that looks exactly like the same one Joey has.)
Monica: Okay. Lets hurryOh wait! Do we have a condom? (He looks at her.) Oh right! (Laughs and they resume making out when a nurse catches them in the act.)
Phoebe: Does a dog's lips move when he reads? (Joey makes an `I don't know' face, and looks to Chandler and Rachel, who're also stumped) Okay, no they don't.
Ross: Hi roomie! (Hugs her and looks at Rachel.)
Ross: Ugh. Well, were just gonna have to jump. (Joey looks at him.) Yeah. Now, were gonna have to make sure to land to the right of that patch of ice, okay? Not hit the dumpster on the other side and uh, and try to avoid that-that weird brownish red stuff in the middle. So, when you get down there you go up to the roof and you let me in.
Ross: Then, uh, then we got dressed, and I-I... I walked her to the- (looks up, realises, and points) -the bus stop... I'm fine.
Monica: (looks at it more closely) Oh that's an eye removal machine.
Monica: (angrily) That is exactly why I do not lend you stuff!! (Rachel looks over at Phoebe in resignation.) Okay?! I mean, first it's my jewelry! And if it's not my jewelry, it's-it's my blue sweater! And if it's not my sweater, it's my sunglasses!