words in movies
Joey: You know what I want? I want a lot of things! I want to be with the woman I love on Valentines Day! And I want her to love me back! And I want just one moment of relief from the gut-wrenching pain of knowing that thats never going to happen!
Ross: Come on, Im your older brother, ask me!
Chandler: (picking up a video from the table) Candy and Cookie. Candy and Cookie? Monica got me porn?! Girl-on-girl porn?! She really must love me!! (Chandler runs over to the TV, puts the tape in, and sits down to enjoy some "porn")
Chandler: (pointing at the video) Why did you get me this?
Chandler: I thought maybe you got me porn for Valentines Day.
Monica: Oh! Oh, my God! No wonder my mother hates me!
Monica: Dont touch me!
Ross: Yeah, Im missing out on all this other stuff, too. So, Joey suggested Rachel move in with me.
Mona: Joey cracks me up! Its like, Yeah, why dont you have your ex-wife move in with you? That wouldnt be awkward at all! (she laughs again)
Ross: I dont know, she seemed to think it was such a crazy idea! Um, plus, she, uh, she got me taffy!
Ross: Oh, no, no, no, I will! I just want to butter her up, first! You know, Im going to take her to an amazing Valentines dinner. Do all this romantic stuff, and then, just when she thinks Im the best boyfriend in the world, then Im going to tell her that my pregnant ex-girlfriend is living with me.
Joey: So, between her and me being friends, and her history with Ross, it just isnt going to happen. It would be like you falling in love with a cat.
Joey: Yeah, sure. Go ahead. (pause) Oh, me, right!
Rachel: Ooh! My Chinese food! Let me get my cash! (runs to her room to get her money)
Rachel: Ill be watching TV if anybody needs me. (exits to her room)
Ross: (handing Mona the present) Happy Valentines Day! Or something to remember me by.
Chandler: You know, it haunts me? Up til now, the worst thing I ever saw, was my father doing tequila shots off the naked houseboy. After this, I would gladly make that my screensaver!
Rachel: Well, now, wait. Now Im all freaked out. Come on, you guys will watch it with me.
Monica: No, but I will leave a sweater that smells like me right next to you!
Rachel: Cmon, seriously, you guys, youre not going to make me watch this alone!
Chandler: (with his arm all the way under the cushion, moving it around) This reminds me of a very specific part of the tape. (Chandler puts the tape in, and they all sit down) Okay, here we go.
Ross: Uh Mona just dumped me.
Ross: Well, with everything thats been going on lately, I havent exactly been the perfect boyfriend. You know, I, uh, I didnt tell her I got Rachel pregnant. I gave her a key to my apartment, and then had the locks changed! And then I lied to her about Rachel moving in with me. In a way, I actually judge her for not breaking up with me sooner, you know?
Ross: Hey, whatever it is, I am sure it has happened to me. Yknow, actually onceonce I got dumped during sex.
Ross: Hey, hey, its me. Why cant you tell me?
Ross: Anyway seriously, uh just just talk to the guy, okay? And tell me how it goes. (walks towards the door until )
Monica: It's worse. The only thing that's getting me through is knowing that I'm gonna be seeing you soon. I think I may even try to get out of here early.
Monica: Youre supposed to double the tax. Not double the tax of Romania. I mean, whats-whats the deal? Are you, are you trying to buy me? Is this the way you get girls to go out with you?
Chandler: Oh come on man! At least let me finish this last one.
Joey: But what about how much taller he is than me?
Chandler: You gotta let me slam the door! (Leaves; slams the door)
Monica: I will! But not tonight. For dinner music, I thought we could listen to that tape you made me.
Rachel: Yeah, and you dont mind if I call, because you only want good things for me.
Phoebe: She is gonna hate me.
Rachel: Ill be right there! (to Ross) Okay, Ross, please come on! I thought we have moved on! I thought weve gotten to a place where we could be happy for each other! I mean was that just me?
ROSS: You know what? You know what? If, things were the other way around, there's nothing you could put on a list that would ever make me not want to be with you.
Ross: Look, you guys I just wanna say, I really, really appreciate you spending this time with me. Its been a pretty hard time right now, so I just wanna say thanks.
Chandler: Now that I untangled you, how 'bout you doing a little something for me?
Ross: Well uh, yknow what? Even if she doesnt know anything, I do! I have a son. And his mother and I didnt live together, and whenever he was with me I took care of him all the time, by myself.
Tim: Here, let me help. (Does so.)
Ross: (yelling, thinking Emily can hear him through the answering machine all the way to New York.) I love you too! Im, Im gonna call you right now from the phone booth! (Realises) You cant hear me. (Goes to make his call.)
Eric: Oh, I have a friend whos a cop and he got it for me.
Dr. Green: Excuse me, you think Im cheap?
Joey: Hey Mr. and Mrs. Geller! Let me help you with that.
Monica: (to all) Okay, please be good, please. Just remember how much you all like me.
Janice: (Startles them) There you are! Haaah, you got away from me!
PHOEBE: Ok. Listen, just don't say anything about me, ok. [goes over and grabs the phone that's sitting by Monica]
Rachel: (entering) Hey! (Sees Monica, gasps, and runs over to her.) Oh my God youre here, let me see your hand!!
Joey: No! No. Umm, just myself and if they dont like me for(Laughs.) Im sorry I couldnt even get through that.
GIRL 1: Alright, let me just get my coat.
Joey: Why don't you go see Frankie? My family's been goin' to him forever. He did my first suit when I was 15. No wait, 16. No, 'scuse me, 15. (still confused) All right, when was 1990?
Chandler: Hey! Wow! You look great! Wanna move in with me tomorrow?
Amy: Well, I don't need you to help me, because I already know what I'm going to do with my life.
Joey: Are you kidding me? I never rent a movie without it! (Listens) Oh. (Listens) Uh, okay uh let me call you back. (Hangs up.)
Chandler: (Looking down at her hand) Yes, yes I am. Err, listen, the reason that I called you in here today was, err... please dont hate me.
SECURITY GUARD: Uh, excuse me folks this is a uhh...
SUSIE: It looks like one of her eyebrows fell down. Now unless someone convinces her to let me bleach it, Jean-Claude Van Damme is gonna be making out with Gabe Kaplan.
Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I don't know what to do, everybody starts looking at me.
Dina: Thanks so much for meetin with me. Joeys told me so much about you!
Joey: Oh, see thats where youre wrong. Whatever it is I can do it. And if didnt see it up there, just-just try me.
Joey: Hey, I do it every week with three cameras pointed at me and a whole crew waiting!
Phoebe: Sure! Look, ok, bottom line: I love Mike... David! David. I love David. Don't look at me that way, Roseanne Rosannadanna!
Rachel: Dont say anything. I dont wanna speak, I dont wanna think. I just want you to take me and kiss me and make love to me right here, right now.
Rachel: (looking at her fingers) Oh my God! Let me see that! (Grabs the book from him.)
Pete: Okay, my trainer, Ho Chi, is teaching me a combination of Gee Koon Doe and Brazilian street fighting, Ive even had my own octagon training ring designed.
Joey: I, I dont get you. I mean first, you hate me. Then you sleep with me. Then you want nothing to do with me, now you want me again.
Teacher: Well that's all right, you can come up to the front and dance with me.
Phoebe: Uh, well I can tell you why. Its, its because of me. But, y'know what, I only did it because I love you. Okay?
RACH: I didn't know then. And how come you never said anything to me.
Rachel: Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (She slows down with each one.)
MONICA: Exactly. Oh, I love that I can be totally neurotic around you now. Tell me the truth. Don't you like it better now that everything on your desk is perpendicular?
Phoebe: (to Marge) Excuse me! Can you tell me where I can find Earl? Hes the supply manager around here.
Joey: Is it on me? I feel, I feel like it's on me! I got, hey! (He storms into his room)
Rachel: All right, fine, but dont get mad at me. Its-its just a little hard to believe.
Rachel: Oh, you’re not gonna believe what happened to me today! Ralph Lauren called, and gave me my job back!
Mr. Treeger: Yeah, it happened to me once. I was just flipping through the channels and bam! It was like finding money.
Phoebe: What's the matter with me? How do I keep ruining this? I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
[Scene: Monica's eye doctor's office, Monica and Rachel are waiting in an exam room and looking at this big white thing used to check eyes. I have no idea what it is, and if an ophthalmologist happens to know what that is, let me know.]
Joey: Hey, dude, let me in. I got a girl out here!
Chandler: Yeah, Joey said I uh, I needed to relax so he gave me an antihistamine.
Chandler: Okay uh, for now, temporarily, you can call me, Clint.
VAN DAMME: 'Cause Rachel told me uh, you were dying to have a threesome with me and uh, Drew Barrymore. By the way, Drew has some groundrules and...
Rachel: Oh, yeah! Real fun. (She makes a decision.) Yknow, this bra Really, bothers me. (She starts taking off her bra.) Yknow, this used to be my bedroom. Yeah. A lot of memories in here, a lot of memories. If these walls could talk, yknow what theyd say? Wanna hear some memories? (She is now violently pulling on her bra in order to remove it, but it isnt co-operating.)
Joey: That tone will not make me go any faster.
Chandler: I could use the money; it could give me time to write.
Ursula: Yeah, um, I was over there, then you said, "Excuse me, hello Miss," so now Im here.
Phoebe: So you guysll stay here and hang out with me?
Ross: You know what? I'm gonna finish this later, ok? Let me just grab my coat.
MONICA: Hi. Richard just told me he loves me.
Mr. Geller: Are you kidding me, I could stay and look at her forever.
Phoebe: Hi, yeah, hi! I'm umm, Phoebe Buffay, and I have babies coming out of me.
Monica: (to Ross) Let me get you some coffee.
Phoebe: And the big ones for me!
Ross: No I don't, to hell with her, she left me!
The Man: (To Ross) Excuse me. (He puts up a flyer that has a sketch drawing of Joey and it reads, "Warning! Intruder! If you see this creep - call the cops!") You should check this out, tell the other tenants. Apparently he's running around looking for some kind of a hot girl.
Phoebe: Oh, got it, stay upwind of me.
RACHEL: Well, um, first he told me he liked how I looked.� And, ah, then we had a little . . . um . . . eye-contact.
Monica: You invite my brother, you invite my whole family, and not me?! Why?! WhatWhy wouldnt you want me at your wedding? What could I have possibly done?! (Frannies husband walks up.) Stuart!
PHOEBE: I know who it is you remind me of. Evelyn Dermer. 'Course, that's before she got the lousy face lift. Now she looks like Soupy Sales.
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Y'know what? I have been trying to apologize to him all week! If he's not gonna let me do it on the phone, I'm gonna go down there and do it in person.
Paul: (laughing) That's one way! Me, I- I went for the watch.
Paul: Ever since she walked out on me, I, uh...
Tall Guy: No, no. Shes fair game if you ask me, sorry buddy!
Phoebe: No, I know, Im just nervous. Y'know its just y'know Moms dead, dont talk to my sister, Grandmas been sleeping a lot lately. Its like the last desperate chance to have a family, y'know, kinda thing. Youre so sweet to wait with me.
Rachel: She wants to move in with me and Ross to help take care of the baby.
Monica: Umhmm, umhmm, about the time you told me about New Year's Eve. Where is everybody else?
Ross: No, youve heard my practice. Okay? Just-just give me a chance to perform for you and then decide whatever you want. And Im not going to tell you what song Im gonna play either. But uh, lets just say when its over Ill bet there will be a we bit o celebration.
Rachel: Oh, look, wish me luck!
Joey: Because... look, no one wants this to happen more than me, ok? (in a trembling voice) I have gone over this moment in my head a hundred times and not once did I ever say no! (sighs) I couldn't do it to Ross!
Chandler: Oh, how well you know me...
JOEY: Hey, you guys are still gonna come visit me, right?
Phoebe: Well, she told me that Im gonna die this week, so Im kinda bummed about that.
Monica: Back then, I thought that I would never, ever get the chance to go out with a Chip Matthews, and now hes-hes called me up and asked me out. And the fat girl inside of me really wants to go. I-I owe her this. I never let her eat.
Kathy: Yes! Yeah! Joey has great hair! Umm, Im basically done here. Just let me get this off your neck.
Frannie: Are you kidding? I take credit for Paul. Y'know before me, there was no snap in his turtle for two years.
Kathy: Acting! Chandler, this is my job! Im-Im playing a part in a play! How can you not trust me?!
Monica: ...They threw us out! I was thrown out of a hotel! Me!
Monica: Phoebe, its okay. You dont have to tip toe around me. I-Ive been thinking about it and umm, yknow what? Im okay about not having that new relationship feeling
Monica: (to Ross) Are, are you okay? I mean, do you want me to stay?
Monica: 'Scuse me?
Ross: Got me.
Rachel: No Paul, I dont know anything about you! Yknow, like-like your childhood! Tell me about your childhood!
Monica: Chandler! (Joey and his grandmother shush them and wave them away, which they do.) Okay, let me get this straight, it's okay for you to flirt, but not for me.
Robbie: Me?!
Robbie: Me. (Spits.)
Chandler: Theyre not gonna swallow anything, you guys are being way over protective. When I was a kid, my mom used to just throw me into a pile of broken glass!