words in movies
[Scene: A beauty parlour, Rachel is getting a manicure while Chandler, yes Chandler, is getting a petticure (Does that scare you that I know those terms? Well, it scares me.).]
Monica: Joey let me ask you a question. What does this light switch do?
Chandler: I hear ya. (Pause) But! Unfortunately, my company is transferring me overseas!
Monica: This switch thing has been driving me crazy. So I turned it off and checked every outlet. Now, four of them dont work. Which means, one of them has to be controlled by the switch. So, I plugged in things in all four of the outlets that-that make noise, so that way, when I turn it on I just follow the noise and find out which one it is.
Chandler: Yknow uh, you didnt really have to help me pack.
Janice: Ohh, well when you said all you were going to be doing between now and the time you leave is packing, you didnt really leave me much choice. Did you?
Joey: Thanks for telling me!
Phoebe: Yeah, I know, I do that cause it makes me look taller.
Chandler: (to Janice) Okay. (to Joey) Joey, trade lives with me!
Ross: Thats cause-cause youre moms dog kept-kept looking at me.
Ross: Anyway, she thought the very idea of me playing rugby with him was like hilarious. So Im gonna show her how tough I really am!
Ross: Look, dont worry about me. Okay? Ill just stay real energetic and stay away from the ball. Ill uh, Ill be that guy right out of the circle. (He points to a player who starts running and then gets viscously tackled from behind.)
Ross: They dont look any bigger than me!
Emily: Liam, do me a favour. Tell the lads to go easy on Ross, its his first time.
Chandler: Yknow you, really didnt have to take me to the airport.
Ross: Did you see me? I was pretty good, huh? That is one fun game!
Ross: (to Emily) Hey, could you do me a favour? Could you just grab me a bottle of water?
Emily: All right, all right, if you insist on doing this, at least let me help you.
Ross: Oh no! That-thatll just bring me down! This was great! I mean I-I-I was great! This is a great day! Yknow what? Im buying everyone coffee. All right? If someone would just grab my wallet, its in my pocket.
Monica: Let me see!
Chandler: Me too.
Rachel: Me too.
Joey: Me too.
Joey: I want you.I need you.Let me make love to you.
Phoebe: Oh, so they owe me like, three Phoebes.
Ross: BecDid you not hear me?! Shes an assistant professor in the Linguistics department, okay? Theyre wild! Why do you want to come anyway?
MONICA: Rachel if you, if you want to go out with him, you can. Sound like a big jerk to me but if that's what you want to do...
Joey: Oh, wish me luck!
Monica: Can you hear me say "You're grounded"?
Phoebe: Wait, (grabs him) you know what, I got a little story. When I was in Junior High School I went through this period where I thought I was a witch. And there was this guidance counselor who said something to me, that I think will help you a lot. He said okay, 'you're not a witch you're just an average student.' See what I'm saying?
Chandler: All right, I'll tell ya what, the next time you ask me a question like that I'll lie.
Rachel: Me? Oh, no, I am not an actress.
Rachel: God, you have to tell me what happens tomorrow!
Monica: I think the things that you said about me are really unfair, and I would like for you to give my bouillabaisse another chance.
Joey: Ow, I'm just going over the script now! You wanna read lines with me?
Rachel: Kiss me.
Rachel: (pause) Kiss me.
Joey: If you ask me to stay, I�ll pee. (leaves)
Monica: Alright, let me ask you this question: How many of you thought the music was fine, but not in keeping with the tone of the restaurant? (a few raise their hands again).
Joey: I hate this woman!! I hate her! She told everyone in the company about that info-mercial, and now they all keep asking me to open their drinks. Okay, and whenever I cant do it, theyre all like-like laughing at me.
Charlie: It's a... It's good to meet you! Thank you so much for taking the time out to show me around.
Joey: Hey! You hold on pal! Now you made my friend, Rachel, cry. So now, youre gonna go up there and apologize to her, unless you want me to call the landlord.
Rachel: Well, then so you just invite me...!
Rachel: What do you get? (She throws her pom-poms to Joey and Phoebe and performs a cartwheel.) Emily!! (Tries to do another one.) EmilWhoa!! (She falls in Chandlers room.) Okay! So thats me as a cheerleader! Ta-dum! (Gunthers the only one that claps.)
Chandler: All right, theres a nuclear holocaust, Im the last man on Earth. Would you go out with me?
Joey: Oh, tell me about it. And shes been on the show forever, its gonna be really hard to fill her shoes.
Doug: Oh Bing, look at those twin sisters dancing together. Let me buy you a lap dance with those girls. Huh?
Lauren: Oh, yeah! I-I ran into you in the hallway in your building. It was right after I slept with Joey. He dumped me the next day.
Ross: I know! Anyway, they asked me to be a guest lecturer! I mean its temporary, but uh, if they like me it could lead to a full time job. How great would that look great on a mailbox, huh? "Professor Geller."
Rachel: Ok actually Mon, Matthew was just giving me his phone number.
Matthew Ashford: Call me.
Joey: Are you kiddin? Phoebe lived on the street. Okay? Plus, shes got this crazy temper. SheShes not standing right behind me is she?
Chandler: Okay, so weve established my name, and hit me. But theoretically y'know, I mean say we werent friends, say its a blind date. I show up at your door, and Im like (in a fake voice) Hey, nice to meet, ya. Hey, oh-hey.
MONICA: And, well, don't you have a lot of wild oats to sew? Or is that what you're doing with me? Oh my God, am I an oat?
Ross: Just some boys gave me their phone numbers.
Phoebe: And no, oh please, oh please let me finish. (Rachel stops talking.) Oh I guess that was it.
Joey: Me.
Bitter woman: Why don't you like me! Chapter one: my first period.
Man: Oh, let me guess some idiot on a cell phone wasnt paying attention?
Phoebe: (while Monica drags her in the restaurant) Get your garlic-peelers off me!
Rachel: You know what? There is a little part of me that really thought we were gonna win.
Ross: Did you hear that? Kori Weston had a crush on me!!
Phoebe: No, you can't go there! You know how I feel about these "big massage places"! They're putting people like me out of business!
Monica: (a bit surprised) Yes, he is. Me.
Chandler: Me, that guy who just said butt cracks?
Chandler: Are you okay? I'm so sorry, he wouldn't leave. He kept asking me about chicken.
Joey: You got to tell me exactly what to do there.
Rachel: Alright. In high school I was the prom queen and I was the homecoming queen and the class president and you... were also there! But if you take this monkey, I will lose one of the most important people in my life. You can hate me if you want, but please do not punish him. C'mon, Luisa, you have a chance to be the bigger person here! Take it!
Rachel: Oh, hon can you grab me my other box of tissues? Theyre right on that chair under Rosss coat.
Ross: (talking to himself) My God! These pants are burning up! (He's still wearing the leather pants.) (She snuggles closer.) Oh come on, she wants to snuggle now! What is she trying to kill me? It's like a volcano in here! (Out loud.) Are you hot?
Joey: (scores) Yes! I win again! Ha-ha! Thats like 500 bucks you owe me! Whoo-ho-hoo! (Goes over to the fridge and starts opening and closing the door rapidly.) $500 that is a loooot of electricity! (By the way, theres nothing in the fridge.) Whoo-ho-ho! (Notices the sparseness of the fridge.) I gotta buy some food.
Rachel: Well, you know what? This is great. Finally, I have someone I can pass on my wisdom too. Let me tell you about a couple of things I learned while working at the coffeehouse. First of all, the customer is always right. (Joey nods.) A smile goes a long way. (Joey smiles) And if anyone is ever rude to you? Sneeze muffin.
Phoebe: You know it's me?
Rachel: Yes you do, if you're going to make me feel guilty for getting a free massage!
Rachel: How could you not tell me you worked here?
Monica: Nooo! (Giggles) Okay. (She tries to pull herself up by Rachel and Joeys doorknob, but the door opens and she almost falls into the their apartment. She manages to catch herself.) Whoa! (Stands up, unsteadily) Okay. See I was, I was a little nervous about turning (whispering) thirty. (Giggles.) So the bus boys took me out for some drinks. (Pause) I wanna puke on you later!
Rachel: Oh! Phoebe, why did you lie to me about working here?
Rachel: I know, but I was just thinking about how huge this is for me. I didnt even go to how huge this was going to be for the father.
Rachel: OK, well, you wouldn't let me finish and I was jus- [Monica flicks her back] Ow. That hurt [flicks Monica]
Joey: (aside, to Ross) Hey Ross! That art stuff worked, you hooked me up.
Chandler: What do you want from me, Ive never met the guy. So anyway, Rachel, Im sorry you cant stay, (Rachel is upset about leaving the orgy with the cigarette guy.) but the rest of us have a lot of work to do. (The cigarette guy starts rubbing Chandlers back.) What are you doing? (The guy just nods) All right, listen, Ive got to wake up!
Monica: All right then, then nothing changes! Everything is great! Everything stays the same! And you go unpack because its been three days and its driving me insane!
Monica: With good news? (very quickly and wringing hands) Of course it is not good news, you just said (deadpan) "Doctor Connelly just called". If it was good news you would have said (excitedly) "Doctor Connelly just called! " But so what is it? Is there a problem, uh? Is there a problem with me or with you?
Rachel: (hiding herself behind the magazine and whispering) Not me, not me, not me, not me, not me!
Phoebe: (interrupting) Uh-huh, me too. Ross, maybe I should've specified that I'd be needing a grown up doctor.
Malcom: (reading) I met Phoebe today. She was really nice to me eventhough I'm such a loser. And, then when I was walking home I thought about her a lot, it was weird, but kinda cool.
Chandler: Honestly? Me too.
JOEY: They can't kill me, I'm Francesca's long lost son.
Phoebe: (picks up a dress) Hey Rach, will you come with me to a dressing room?
Rachel: Anybody! You, me, you know, Monica's mom...
Chandler: Yeah, I can be a hero, I could do that. I could, I could do... I, w-w-what if, what if it attacks me?
Monica: (turns around and she's quite shocked) Excuse me?
Monica: Tell me about yourself, Zack!
Janice: Well, I gotta buy a vowel. Because, oh my Gawd! Who, would've thought that someday, Chandler Bing would buy me a drawer.
Rachel: Yeah. It was the weirdest thing. Zelner called me and he said we'll do everything we can to get you back. And that I should thank some Ron... I don't even know what department that guy's in.
CHANDLER: You'll see, you guys are all gonna go off and get married, and I'm gonna end up alone. Will you promise me something? When you're married, will you invite me over for holidays?
Ross: (continuing) I just found out that Elizabeths dad wants to meet me.
Phoebe: Okay. Then, take the tiara back and let me hold the musket again. (He hands it to her and Phoebe poses in front of one of those small mirrors.) Somethings missing. Its not Okay oh, let me see the ring my friend picked out.
Mrs. Tribbiani: Me? I'm fine. Look, honey, in an ideal world, there'd be no her, and your father would look like Sting. And I'll tell you something else. Ever since that poodle-stuffer came along, he's been so ashamed of himself that he's been more attentive, he's been more loving... I mean, it's like every day's our anniversary.
Chandler: Okay. (Sees the living room.) You opened all the presents without me?! I thought we were supposed to do that together!
Joey: Yeah, I-I-I'm down with that. (He turns back to the woman.) Okay, here goes. (Thinks.) How (Holds up his hand like an Indian) you (Points at her) a-doin'? (Does a little twisting motion with both hands and ends up pointing at her, he then winks. She smiles and waves again.) (To Monica) It worked! She's waving me over. (Towards the woman.) Okay, I-I-I'll be right over. Let's see, she's on the third floor
Joey: No, no, no! You kneed me in my misters!
Phoebe: (entering with Rachel) and I-I can't take it! Y'know? I'm just, always afraid one of them is gonna catch me with the other one. It's making me crazy.
Monica: At least you took me down with you!
Rachel: See? Yeah, you told me the story. He and Monica dated when they broke up they couldn't even be in the same room together and you all promised that you would stay his friend and what happened? He got phased out!
Rachel: Oh God. You did. You heard. Ok, listen, let me explain.
Chandler: Okay, hear me out. Okay? You give the best bad massages. If anybody was looking for the best bad massage and they were thinking to themselves, "Who's the best of that?" They'd have to go to you.
Ross: I'll help you. Yeah, I'll make up a schedule and make sure you stick to it. And plus, it'll give me something to do.
Chandler: Someone I don't know sent me an e-mail and I opened it.
Krista: Nice to meet you. I wish you'd told me we were having company, I'd fix myself up!
Rachel: Oh, Joey, come on! Please, please! Let me come, I will behave, I promise! I will behave! Please, please, please...
Ross: (pause) No. But... it only has to happen once. Look, you and I both know we are perfect for each other, right? I mean... so, the only question is... are you attracted to me?
Joey: Yeah, why dont you move in with me? Itll be great! We could stay up late, watch movies, and you know about Naked Thursdays right?
Ross: (embarassed) Me neither.
Joey: Look at me! I'm Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes? Maybe if I wasn't going commando...
Joey: Tell me who it is.
Monica: Okay. Wait, just give me a second, I need to just get my boots off first. (She starts taking them off.) Ah Ooh Oohh Ohh Oh God Ohh Oh Ohh Ohhhh
David: Phoebe, will you marry me?
Phoebe: I want to, but I just want you to tell me that marriage isn't really that big a deal. You know that I won't, I won't be missing out on anything. That marriage stinks!