words in movies
Joey: Mike.
Phoebe: Mike? Okay! What's his last name?
Phoebe: All right, we'll se you and Mike at the restaurant in a couple hours.
Joey: Why did I have to say Mike? I don't know a Mike! Why couldn't I have said... (Looks through his address book) There's no guy in there!
(Joey walks in and looks around. He's trying to find a Mike for Phoebe)
Joey: MIKE!!!
Mike: Yeah?
Mike: I gotta tell you, I can't believe I'm doing this with you. Although I did just get out of a nine-year relationship, so I guess I should be open and taking some risks.
Joey: Everything is gonna be fine. Just follow my lead, okay? All you have to do is pretend to be Mike.
Mike: I am Mike.
Phoebe: Joey, this is Mary Ellen Jenkins. So, Mike, how do you and Joey know each other anyway?
Mike: How do I and Joey know each other? Wow, if I had a nickel for every time somebody has asked me that.
Mike: Yeah, we met in college. (Off Joey's look) I mean, high school.
Mike: Well, I'm a lawyer.
Joey: Mike, 'attorney at law'!
Mike: Actually, I just gave up my practice.
Mike: I always wanted to play piano professionally, and I figured if I don't do this now, I never will.
Joey: Which is why I waited until now to introduce you to Mike.
Joey: Yeah, that's because we had a bit of a falling out. Mike hit my mom with a car.
Mike: No, I didn't.
Joey: That's okay Mike, I have forgiven you. And now we're friends again everything's great!
Mike: 'Days of Our Lives'! That's why you look so familiar!
Mike: What?!
Joey: (Laughs) Of course we do! Mike is playing a game that we used to play in high school. Yeah, where we pretend we don't know each other. We played all kinds of games. (To Mike) Hey, remember the one where I punch you in the face for not being cool?!
Phoebe: Mike, let me ask you something. How many sisters does Joey have?
Mike: (Joey holds up six fingers) Six!
Mike: I'm sorry too. And just to be clear, I didn't hit his mother with a car.
Joey: Look Phoebe I'm so sorry! Hey, look, if you don't like this guy I can find you a better one. (Looks around) Mike!! Mike!!
Mike: It was nice meeting you!
Mike: Excuse me, hi. I was hoping I would run into you. Can we talk?
Mike: I'm sorry, really, I'm so embarrassed. Really, I'm a pretty nice guy. Just ask my parole officer...Apparently I'm not a funny guy.
Mike: Because I was told I'd get a free dinner, which I didn't. And that I'd meet a pretty girl. Which I did.
Mike: My name in Mike, and I do play piano.
Mike: There isn't a piano here.
Mike: (Plays 'air piano')
Mike: Really?
Mike: That's great. What kind of music do you play?
Mike: Do you think that maybe, sometime, I could...
Mike: Okay. Do you think maybe sometime I could take you out?
Phoebe: (To Mike) Oh, you just caught me off guard! Yeah, that would be nice.
(Phoebe and Mike look at him, and he goes over to the counter.)
Mike: Yeah, you do that, and I go check my dad for signs of internal bleeding. (Mike walks away and Bitsy walks in the same direction.)
Mike: I get the joke. Sophisticated as it was. Now the thing I wanna say is... maybe we should have talked about this before. Us living together, you're not expecting a proposal, right?
Mike: So...? What do you think? (looks at his parents, which look in disgust)
Mike: My friend Manny. I asked him to keep me away from you.
Helena: Im sorry? (Holds out the mike.)
Mike: Wow! You look like... like my mom.
Mike: No, my parents are rich.
(They start to leave Central Perk. The band starts to play "Here, There and Everywhere" by the Beatles. The crowd rises from their seats. Phoebe and Chandler walk down the aisle. Phoebe really glows with happiness. So does Mike who watches her walk down the isle. When Phoebe and Chandler arrive, they kiss and Phoebe walks to her bridesmaids.)
Mike: Mom, dad, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, these are my parents: Theodore and Bitsy.
(There's booing around them, and Mike sinks in his chair, holding his hand in above his eyes, hoping no-one would recognize him)
Mike: And that's how it's done! (Phoebe kisses him)
[Cut to Central Perk, Phoebe at the mike.]
Mike: Well, come on...
Phoebe: Oh please, these guys, we haven't even moved in yet and they have us picking out china patterns. (Mike seems to gag a little...and laughs nervously. They begin to leave. Phoebe bolts back)
Mike: Hey... Wh... What are you doing?
Mike: Yeah, I'm sure they will, but you don't have to do this... I'm wanting them to get to know Phoebe, not (accent) Phoebe...
Mike: No, no, no, you're doing fine, really... Why don't you go talk to my dad?
Mike: But, I mean, you have met... humans before, right? Look, why don't you go talk to my mom?
Mike: Uhm... Did you just hit my dad?
Mike: Wanna get out of here?
Mike: Look Phoebe, It's not about you. I just never wanna get married again.
Mike: So what? I mean if even I can get past that, it shouldn't bother you. And you don't have to like her. You just have to accept the fact that I do. I mean, if you even can't be civil to the woman I love...
Theodore: How could you know. Why wouldn't you punch me in the stomach? (Theodore walks out... Mike walks towards Phoebe)
Mike: Awesome!
[Scene: Mike's parents house. Dining room again. Both Mike and Phoebe are not at the table, but the others still are.]
Mike: A little better.
Mike: I'm not interested.
Mike: You do?
Phoebe: So Theodore... I uhm... I can see where Mike gets his good looks from...
Mike: Phoebe, I love you. There's no-one else in the world I would ask to marry me... three times. But I wanna take care of you, have babies with you, and grow old with you... Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?
Mike: No, no Mike, just Crap Bag. First name Crap, last name Bag.
Mike: And there is Kevin.
Mike: Oh, I made a little something. If I had more time to work on it, it'd be better, but..
Rachel: Shake it! (Phoebe, Mike, Chandler, Monica and Joey step in)
Mike: Hey, so are you sure your ready to go.
Mike: All right, stop! You know, all Phoebe has done tonight is trying to get you to like her. And maybe that hasn't been clear all the time, but she did her best. And yeah... She's a little different than you are...
Mike: No, no! What I mean is, I hate going back to my apartment now... and partly because I live above a known crack den but... mostly because when I'm there, It's just, I really miss you. So.. do you want to move in together?
Mike: No! It's my fault. I keep trying to propose in these stupid ways and all I wanna do is tell you that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Mike: Phoebe (comes in smiling then sees Phoebe crying) what's wrong?
(Monica opens the door and Mike is standing at the doorway)
Ross: (He knocks at the door, Mike opens it) Hey Mike sorry to just drop by like this, can I come in?
Mike: Oh.
Mike: but you did say it
Mike: Vicrum?
[Scene: Phoebe is sitting with Mike, explaining about Vicrum.]
[Scene: Ross goes to see Mike to explain about Phoebe.]
Mike: what's up is Phoebe ok?
Mike: Sure (looks confused) who are you?
Mike: that's why she was weird.
Mike: I just think there's somebody better out there for you, (pause) I mean I'm not saying me but. maybe me.
Mike: what's wrong?
Mike: But Rachel I thought she just had a baby with Ross
Mike: Definitely
Mike: uh huh
Mike: its Mike Hanagen
Ross: So, so, is Mike coming to dinner?
Phoebe: Yeah, I kinda do. (Mike lets go of her hand) Well, how's this? (she takes Mike's hand and puts it on her breast, she tears open the sugar and puts it in her coffee. Mike thinks it over and nods appreciative. After that, they hold hands again. Joey now enters, and sees the two sitting on the couch, holding hands.)
Phoebe: (returns) Okay, that was Mike.
Mike: This is nice.
Mike: Is it?
Phoebe: (impatient) I know Mike, why don't you keep digging?
Mike: You need both hands for that?
Mike: Is this cool, huh?
Mike: It's to my apartment.
Mike: So... how many guys have your key?
Mike: Don't point your finger at me.
Phoebe: I'm... I'm just... I'm the worst person ever. How can I not tell David that I'm seeing Mike?
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. David is still there. Mike closes the door.]
Mike: Well, I might.
Mike: It's never gonna happen again right?
Mike: Hey, what are you kidding me?
Mike: Did you uhm...
Mike: ...kiss him?
Ross: well then I didn't need to bother you or the four other Mike Hanagens I bothered.
Phoebe: I'm sooo sorry!! I just... I keep thinking about Mike! I'm crazy about David, and we're having so much fun together. Why-Why do I miss Mike? That's-that's gonna go away, right?
(Phoebe and Mike enter.)
RACHEL: Phoebe's Mike?
ROSS: Oh, it's fine.� Actually, I, I invited Mike over.
MIKE: Eh, why don't we start with the beer?
MIKE: Okay.� (pause)
MIKE: Yeah.
MIKE: Bye.
RACHEL: Okay.� You too.� And I hope you score.� (to Mike) Bye.
MIKE:� So, you're a paleontologist, right?
MIKE: Ah?� (pause)� Do you have one here?
MIKE: Wha . . .?� Go back?� To the "land where time stands still"?
MIKE: Uh, no.� I just left.
MIKE: Hey buddy.
MIKE: I can't do that!
MIKE: Well, yeah.
MIKE: (releases a whoosh of air) Ya know, I'm going to take off.
MIKE: Hello?
MIKE: (In the hall, relieved) Oh.
(Mike leaves.� Ross closes the door behind him.)
(Mike knocks on Ross's door.� Ross opens it.)
MIKE: It's true.� I did.
MIKE: Um, can I come back in?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Mike is reading from a book.]
PHOEBE: I know.� That was fun.� (She and Mike exit.)
MIKE: (nods) uh-huh.