words in movies
Phoebe: Yes, I do! Today is Mike and my one-year anniversary.
[Scene: Madison Square Garden. Mike and Phoebe are walking to their seats.]
Phoebe: Excuse me, anniversary. Excuse me, anniversary. (looking at her ticket). Uhm, sir, could you move your nachos... they’re in my seat. It's my anniversary. (to Mike) Here we are! (Mike nods). Can’t believe it's been a whole year!
Mike: I know. This has been the best year... (the crowd starts cheering so he starts yelling) THIS HAS BEEN THE BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE!
Mike: I FEEL THE SAME WAY!
Mike: Really?
Mike: (looks strangely shocked) Excuse me... (he leaves, then Phoebe realizes what she did).
Phoebe: Well, that’s what I said, but it turns out, Mike was planning on proposing to me that same way last night!
Monica: Oh my God, Mike was gonna propose?
[Scene: Madison Square Garden. Phoebe and Mike are watching the game. There's cheering, but Phoebe seems distracted.]
Mike: Great game, huh?
Mike: Why do you keep looking at the screen?
Phoebe: I'm not. I'm praying. (looking up) Please let the Knicks win... Thank you Thor! (Mike is standing up) Where... where are you going?
Mike: Going go to the bathroom.
Mike: Why?
(We see the screen where it says: "Mike will you marry me?" and then we see Phoebe and Mike on the screen. Phoebe stands up and kneels in front of Mike.)
Phoebe: Mike Hannigan... will you marry me? (Mike looks bewildered)
Announcer: Get a load of this... She's proposing to him. Guess we know who wears the pants in that family. (people are laughing, while Mike still seems bewildered)
(There's booing around them, and Mike sinks in his chair, holding his hand in above his eyes, hoping no-one would recognize him)
[Scene: Mike and Phoebe at a restaurant.]
Phoebe: That woman at the game didn't know what she was talking about. Mike, obviously you have balls.
Mike: But please, let's just forget the whole thing.
Mike: (puts on a fake smile) Where else would lame Mr. No Balls hide it? (he takes the ring from the cake, and cleans it with a napkin)
Mike: No! It's my fault. I keep trying to propose in these stupid ways and all I wanna do is tell you that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Mike: I'm gonna do this now.
(Mike starts to kneel in front of Phoebe.)
Mike: Phoebe, I...
Phoebe: Wait! Oh wait! (she takes off a ring that was already on her left ring finger. After that Mike starts to kneel again, but then...) Oh no! (She was wearing rings on all her fingers and her thumb, and takes all of these off.)
Mike: Ready?
Phoebe: Uh-huh! (and now Mike kneels properly)
Mike: Phoebe, I love you. There's no-one else in the world I would ask to marry me... three times. But I wanna take care of you, have babies with you, and grow old with you... Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?
(Mike puts the ring on her finger)
Mike: I love you!
Mike: Not possible! (they kiss, and then Mike says proudly...) She's gonna be Mrs. No Balls.
Mike: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Is this, hot Rachel, that you took to the Christmas party, Rachel?
Phoebe: Well I'm sorry Rachel, but I'm not like you, ok? Not everyone can afford help. (she and Mike leave)
Mike: Hey, Chandler, why dont we talk this over at the Ranger game tomorrow?
Mike: Joey, I kinda have a lot to do today, what do you want?
Mike: (not amused) Are you rehearsing for some really bad mafia movie?
Mike: I'm sorry too. And just to be clear, I didn't hit his mother with a car.
Mike: I want to stay too but I've gone as bad as much use out of these boxers as I can..
Mike: Yeah. We have rat babies now.
Mike: (looks at her astonished) Alright, then I'm gonna change my name.
Phoebe: Oh, I love you guys too, but Mike got off work early. Wait. Wait, I�m not t�not that kind of girl that just ditches her friends to be with her boyfriend. You know what? I am. Bye guys! (waves to the bar) Judy! Bye.
(she slaps him in the face, Mike looks like he doesn't believe what just happened. Precious leaves, and he turns to Phoebe.)
Joey: Hey, hey... I can convince people to do anything, you know. I bet I can even get Mike to do that "thing". What is it?
Mike: I gotta tell you, I can't believe I'm doing this with you. Although I did just get out of a nine-year relationship, so I guess I should be open and taking some risks.
Mike: Hey, when did we become one of those couples whose lives revolve around their rats?
Mike: How do I and Joey know each other? Wow, if I had a nickel for every time somebody has asked me that.
Joey: (Laughs) Of course we do! Mike is playing a game that we used to play in high school. Yeah, where we pretend we don't know each other. We played all kinds of games. (To Mike) Hey, remember the one where I punch you in the face for not being cool?!
Mike: I'll make it a hundred!
Chandler: Be-cause, we were talking about ways that he could beat Mike and I told him that Phoebe wanted to get married.
Mike: I always wanted to play piano professionally, and I figured if I don't do this now, I never will.
Mike: At one point near the end she deliberately defecated.....
Chandler: Oh, because his penis was too big. (he notices that David is not amused) Oh, I'm sorry, that's the kind of thing I do. (pause) They broke up because Mike didn't want to get married. Hey, what if you just let Phoebe know you'd be open to marriage?
Mike: Okay, when I got divorced, I didn't think I'd feel this way about someone for a really long time... Then again, I didn't think I'd meet someone like you... and... this may be crazy soon, but... I want you to have this... (He tries to get something from his pocket, but it's not that easy... Phoebe looks in a "what's happening" face to him. He finally has found something) No, not... that's gum. (He digs in a little more.) Ooh, five bucks... I love it when that happens, you know... Think no note's there...
Mike: oh it's just you have that look (shuts the front door)
Phoebe: (Takes mike) Thanks, hi. Um, I wanna start with a song that means a lot to me this time of year. (Shakes bell as an introduction) (Sung:)
Mike: Because I was told I'd get a free dinner, which I didn't. And that I'd meet a pretty girl. Which I did.
Mike: Oh wow! Im free for her!
Mike: Phoebe writes lots of great songs. Wha... What was that one you sang the other night that everybody just loved?
MIKE: (Entering the apartment) I, I was just thinking about how much more we have to talk about.
Joey: Well, hey! Well... (he takes his mug to toast Phoebe) Here's to Phoebe, who's found the greatest guy in the world! To Phoebe and... (a bit uncertain) I wanna say Mike? (pause) To Phoebe and Mike!
Mike: Ok, unless you're not gonna try to get me to join a cult are you?
Mike: (sighs) No...
(They turn back around to see the baby Monica's carrying, but then they realise what the surprise is. Ross, Mike, Phoebe and Rachel gasp and stare at Chandler and his baby. Joey hasn't figured it out yet.)
Mike: Mom, I thought I told you... Phoebe's a vegetarian.
Phoebe: Ok. I mean I know I did the right thing. You know, Mike never wants to get married and I shouldn't be in a relationship that has no future... but... pretty soon I'm gonna miss him so much. I'm gonna wanna see him again and you have to stop me from doing that.
MIKE: I'm so glad you're back.� (He hugs Phoebe.)
Mike: I'll tell her that it's over tonight at dinner. I promise.
Mike: Well I've got a book around...
Monica: Sure! If you're just gonna hang out as friends, then maybe I'll join ya. You know, I'm your friend (to Phoebe) and Mike's friend (Mike is sceptical).
Mike: Can we at least try living together? I mean you might change your mind about marriage.
Precious: Screw you, Mike. You're a coward and a bastard, and I hope you rot in hell.
Mike: Phoebe you don't have to eat...
Ross: Mike "Gandolf" Ganderson, only like the funest guy in the world.
Mike: So...? What do you think? (looks at his parents, which look in disgust)
Mike: Yeah, you do that, and I go check my dad for signs of internal bleeding. (Mike walks away and Bitsy walks in the same direction.)
Mike: I get the joke. Sophisticated as it was. Now the thing I wanna say is... maybe we should have talked about this before. Us living together, you're not expecting a proposal, right?
Helena: Im sorry? (Holds out the mike.)
(They start to leave Central Perk. The band starts to play "Here, There and Everywhere" by the Beatles. The crowd rises from their seats. Phoebe and Chandler walk down the aisle. Phoebe really glows with happiness. So does Mike who watches her walk down the isle. When Phoebe and Chandler arrive, they kiss and Phoebe walks to her bridesmaids.)
Mike: Wow! You look like... like my mom.
Mike: No, my parents are rich.
Mike: Yeah, I'm sure they will, but you don't have to do this... I'm wanting them to get to know Phoebe, not (accent) Phoebe...
Mike: Mom, dad, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, these are my parents: Theodore and Bitsy.
Mike: And that's how it's done! (Phoebe kisses him)
Mike: Hey... Wh... What are you doing?
Mike: My friend Manny. I asked him to keep me away from you.
[Cut to Central Perk, Phoebe at the mike.]
Phoebe: Oh please, these guys, we haven't even moved in yet and they have us picking out china patterns. (Mike seems to gag a little...and laughs nervously. They begin to leave. Phoebe bolts back)
Mike: Well, come on...
Mike: No, no, no, you're doing fine, really... Why don't you go talk to my dad?
Mike: Uhm... Did you just hit my dad?
Mike: But, I mean, you have met... humans before, right? Look, why don't you go talk to my mom?
Mike: Awesome!
Theodore: How could you know. Why wouldn't you punch me in the stomach? (Theodore walks out... Mike walks towards Phoebe)
Mike: Look Phoebe, It's not about you. I just never wanna get married again.
Mike: You do?
Mike: A little better.
Mike: I'm not interested.
Mike: So what? I mean if even I can get past that, it shouldn't bother you. And you don't have to like her. You just have to accept the fact that I do. I mean, if you even can't be civil to the woman I love...
[Scene: Mike's parents house. Dining room again. Both Mike and Phoebe are not at the table, but the others still are.]
Mike: Oh, I made a little something. If I had more time to work on it, it'd be better, but..
Mike: Wanna get out of here?
Phoebe: So Theodore... I uhm... I can see where Mike gets his good looks from...
Mike: No, no Mike, just Crap Bag. First name Crap, last name Bag.
Mike: No, no! What I mean is, I hate going back to my apartment now... and partly because I live above a known crack den but... mostly because when I'm there, It's just, I really miss you. So.. do you want to move in together?
Rachel: Shake it! (Phoebe, Mike, Chandler, Monica and Joey step in)
Mike: And there is Kevin.
Mike: All right, stop! You know, all Phoebe has done tonight is trying to get you to like her. And maybe that hasn't been clear all the time, but she did her best. And yeah... She's a little different than you are...
Joey: Mike.
Phoebe: Mike? Okay! What's his last name?
Joey: MIKE!!!
Joey: Which is why I waited until now to introduce you to Mike.
Mike: Yeah?
Mike: I am Mike.
Mike: Well, I'm a lawyer.
Mike: Actually, I just gave up my practice.
Mike: It was nice meeting you!
Mike: No, I didn't.
Mike: (Joey holds up six fingers) Six!
Mike: There isn't a piano here.
Mike: What?!
Mike: That's great. What kind of music do you play?
Mike: Do you think that maybe, sometime, I could...
Mike: but you did say it
Mike: Hey, so are you sure your ready to go.
Mike: Really?
(Phoebe and Mike look at him, and he goes over to the counter.)
Mike: Phoebe (comes in smiling then sees Phoebe crying) what's wrong?
[Scene: Ross goes to see Mike to explain about Phoebe.]
Mike: what's up is Phoebe ok?
Mike: Sure (looks confused) who are you?
Mike: that's why she was weird.