words in movies
Written by: Jeffrey Astrof and Mike Sikowitz. Transcribed by: Ruth Curran
Mike: Look, if Phoebe wants to marry David, she should, I'm not gonna stand in the way of that and neither should you.
Mike (to the charity guy): Oh my God, I love your shirt!
Mike: Yeah.
Mike: Thanks for coming you guys.
Mike: Is that why your hand is pressed against my crotch?
Mike: You both wanna do it? Uhm... there's only room for one.
Mike: Hey guys, how is it going?
Mike: No more so than acting.
Joey: Strike three! You only get one more, Mike!
[Scene: Wedding rehearsal dinner. Joey and Mike are talking.]
Mike: Yeah, yeah. Hey, thanks for doing that.
Mike: You're right. She probably will support me. Hey, unless we move in with you, dad?
Mike: Do I have a minute to go to the bathroom?
Mike: Is that what you say to Chandler?
MIKE: huh.� (pause)� What's the difference between beer and lager?
Mike: Hey.
Mike: (looking around the room) This is... great...
(Mike enters the room).
Mike: Joseph.
Mike: (thinks a moment) Orchids?
Joey: (to Mike) Hello Michael.
Mike: That must have been one lousy movie.
(Mike and Joey come out of Joey's room)
(Mike walks in.)
Mike: Oh, you haven't picked yet. Oh good, 'cause I had an idea. I thought it would be fun if the third groomsman was my family dog. Chappy.
Mike: Hey, I forgot my scarf.
Phoebe: (Turning to Mike) What do you think?
Mike: I think I wanna get married to you today.
Mike: I guess.
Mike: Oh, no!
Mike: Well, I know this is gonna sound crazy, but, we could not let the box of rats ruin our lives.
Mike: My God! Aren't you freezing?
Mike: I love you too.
Mike: I do.
(Phoebe and Mike kiss)
Joey: Mike, do you take this woman to be your wife?
(Mike takes off his coat to give to Phoebe and the steel band plays "The Wedding Song")
Chandler: So, where's Mike?
(Mike puts the ring on her finger)
Mike: (walks to the couch with coffee for Phoebe) Here you go.
Mike: Oh, it's just... It's up to you. It's your name. You've got to live with it.
Mike: You're a strange kind of grown-up.
Mike: Well... hey, the key works...! (he looks as if he doesn't want to believe what's happening)
Mike: So, what's new?
Mike: You really did that?
Mike: Ah! I missed you
Mike: Hey (He kisses Phoebe)
Mike: (afraid) You're kidding right?
[Scene: Phoebe is at Central Perk. Mike enters.]
Mike: Crap Bag.
Mike: Yeah, but you can't do that.
Phoebe:(not amused) Mike Crap Bag?
Mike: I'm not blowing her off, I actually just got off the phone with her, were going out tomorrow night, I mean I hope that's ok with you stranger from the coffee house.
Mike: Why don't you tell her my name?
Mike: Really?
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Mike are leaving.]
Mike: Oh! Why don't you introduce me?
Mike: Only if you'll be Phoebe Buffay.
Mike: The woman I love... (he walks to Phoebe) I love you... Which is probably something I shouldn't say for the first time in front of my parents... and Tom and Sue...Who are by the way the most sinfully boring I've ever met in my life...
MIKE: So, except for the fermentation process, beer and ale are basically the same thing.� Fascinating isn't it.
Mike: Oh, figuring out our wedding plans.
Monica: Hey! Where's Mike?
David: Allright... But... if I ever do come back from Minsk... (points at Mike) well, you just better watch out.
Phoebe: Listen, Mike, if you were Swedish and you were saying the word "lorkins" what flowers would that be?
Mike: Hey!
(Mike enters with a roll of paper in his hand.)
Joey: You know, the baby can't read, Mike!
Mike: (To Phoebe) I want one.
Mike: Seriously. Wanna make one of those?
Mike: Really?
Mike: I do love it, and I love your name. I love Princess Consuela.
Phoebe: nothing, I'm excited about our date, Mike this is Ross Geller this is Mike Haaaaa (starts crying)
Mike: You can't keep a rat in your appartment! They're extremely unsanitary, and they transmit leptospirosis and hantavirus.
Mike: You know, kinda think of it, the capital of Peru IS "vtox". (opens the kitchen cabinet) Oh god! Oh!
Mike: Hey, what's going on?
Phoebe: (To Mike) Oh, you just caught me off guard! Yeah, that would be nice.
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Ross is helping with the packing, Phoebe and Mike are also there.]
Phoebe: Well, I told you I had to spend all the day clearing out stuff, so Mike could move in.
Monica: (to Mike) Serve the ball, chump!
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Mike is blowing a note from his beer bottle.� Ross stares off to the side.)
Mike: Woo-wo-hey-hey-hey... Can we not talk about that right now?
Ross: (takes Chappy from Mike) Well, I guess I'm in the wedding then. Ha haaa... (smells Chappy) He stinks!
Mike: No. well look can I think your weird and also cool for telling me the truth and also wanna kiss you.
Mike: They have a game room downstairs! Ping pong and stuff.
Mike: (gets up) Joe, I love Phoebe. She's the single most important thing in my life. I'd die before I let anything happen to her.
Mike: After you, miss Banana Hammock.
Monica: Okay, Mike and Joey, get in position. Chandler, come with me. (they walk off, Ross looks down to Chappy, who he's holding and he gets a whiff of the dog's smell. He is clearly disgusted by it.)
Mike: Oh! Sorry, I guess I was thrown off by the mention of my name!
Mike: I heard that weddings are like a 40 billion dollar a year industry.
Mike: (disbelieving) I think I will be all right! (to Monica) You wanna volley a bit for a serve?
Chandler: Mike didn't tell you? You have to chose one of us to be in your wedding. One of his groomsmen fell out.
Phoebe: Well no, when I get to the point where... you know... I'm ready to hear cruel mocking jokes about Mike... I'm gonna come to you.
Mike: Mom, dad, thanks for dinner.
Mike: So you forfeit?
(Mike starts to kneel in front of Phoebe.)
Mike: But please, let's just forget the whole thing.
Mike: It's a Speedo.
Mike: Oh, no! I don't think so! You know, according to standard table tennis rules if at any time a player uses his non racket bearing hand to touch the playing surface he or she forfeits the point.
(David produces the ring. At the same time, Mike walks in, behind David)
Mike: Hey! You made it. Great! Chappy! Hi! (kisses his dad) Hi! (kisses his mom) Mom, I know getting married in the street isn't something you approve of...