words in movies
Mike: Wow! You look like... like my mom.
Mike: Great! Come on in! (Mike kisses her on the cheek. A butler walks in and takes Phoebe's coat.)
Mike: No, my parents are rich.
Mike: Mom, dad, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, these are my parents: Theodore and Bitsy.
Mike: Hey... Wh... What are you doing?
Mike: Yeah, I'm sure they will, but you don't have to do this... I'm wanting them to get to know Phoebe, not (accent) Phoebe...
Mike: Well, come on...
Mike: No, no, no, you're doing fine, really... Why don't you go talk to my dad?
Mike: Absolutely! Or maybe just a little less pimp spit.
Phoebe: So Theodore... I uhm... I can see where Mike gets his good looks from...
Theodore: How could you know. Why wouldn't you punch me in the stomach? (Theodore walks out... Mike walks towards Phoebe)
Mike: Uhm... Did you just hit my dad?
Mike: But, I mean, you have met... humans before, right? Look, why don't you go talk to my mom?
Mike: Yeah, you do that, and I go check my dad for signs of internal bleeding. (Mike walks away and Bitsy walks in the same direction.)
Phoebe: (Mike now enters and stands behind Phoebe) Oh no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't get me wrong. No, he's not in like a sissy way. No, no, no... when he gets going, he can rattle a headboard like a sailor on leave...
Mike: Awesome!
[Scene: Mike's parents house, the dining room. Mike, Phoebe, Mike's parents and the Angles are there.]
Mike: Phoebe writes lots of great songs. Wha... What was that one you sang the other night that everybody just loved?
Mike: (sighs) No...
Mike: Stop! (The butler serves dinner)
Mike: Mom, I thought I told you... Phoebe's a vegetarian.
Mike: Phoebe you don't have to eat...
Phoebe: No, no, no, I actually it's any baby animals: kittens, fish babies... You know... especially veal... and this, this nice vein of fat running through it... (she cuts the meat, picks it up with her fork and holds it in front of her mouth, which she keeps closed, trying to overcome her vegetarian thoughts... and... puts it in her mouth... Clearly not enjoying the meat...) Hmmm... yummy (everybody seems okay with it, except Mike. He's making a hmmmm.... face... Then Phoebe swallows it) Hmmm... (at first she likes it, but then, in an instant puts her hand in front of her mouth and runs from the table. You hear a door slamming.)
Mike: So...? What do you think? (looks at his parents, which look in disgust)
[Scene: Mike's parents house. Dining room again. Both Mike and Phoebe are not at the table, but the others still are.]
Bitsy: She actually makes me miss that pill-popping ex-wife of his. (Mike walks in) Oh, hello dear...
Mike: Hey, what's going on?
Mike: A little better.
Mike: I'm not interested.
Mike: All right, stop! You know, all Phoebe has done tonight is trying to get you to like her. And maybe that hasn't been clear all the time, but she did her best. And yeah... She's a little different than you are...
Mike: So what? I mean if even I can get past that, it shouldn't bother you. And you don't have to like her. You just have to accept the fact that I do. I mean, if you even can't be civil to the woman I love...
Mike: The woman I love... (he walks to Phoebe) I love you... Which is probably something I shouldn't say for the first time in front of my parents... and Tom and Sue...Who are by the way the most sinfully boring I've ever met in my life...
Mike: You do?
Mike: Wanna get out of here?
Mike: Mom, dad, thanks for dinner.
Rachel: Shake it! (Phoebe, Mike, Chandler, Monica and Joey step in)
Mike: Well... I'll... just show you what I'm gonna do about it... (he hits David's finger with his finger and they start to finger-fight using their fingers as swords saying all kinds of macho crap)
[Scene: game room, Monica and Mike are still playing ping pong]
Mike: You don't have to go home tonight, do you?
Phoebe: No, no, it's not that. (they go sit on the couch) Uhm... Remember when you asked me if I was seeing someone and I said no? Well, uhm... I am. His ... his name is Mike.
Monica: Well, what do you think of Mike and Chandler being in a car accident?
Monica: Hey, how did it go with Mike, is he gonna let you keep the painting?
Phoebe: Joey, you can't make someone do something they don't want to do. Believe me, there's something I've been trying to get Mike to do in bed and there's... he's just...
Phoebe: Monica slow down! Ok? I'm just excited to be living with him. You know I mean, I don't know, Can I see someday being married to Mike? Sure! Yeah. Y'know..I can picture myself walking down the aisle in a wedding dress that highlights my breasts in an obvious yet classy way. But do I want that house in Connecticut...you know..near the good schools where Mike and I can send Sophie and Mike Junior.. Oh my god I do.
Mike: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Is this, hot Rachel, that you took to the Christmas party, Rachel?
Phoebe: Well I'm sorry Rachel, but I'm not like you, ok? Not everyone can afford help. (she and Mike leave)
Mike: Hey, Chandler, why dont we talk this over at the Ranger game tomorrow?
Mike: Joey, I kinda have a lot to do today, what do you want?
Mike: (not amused) Are you rehearsing for some really bad mafia movie?
Mike: I'm sorry too. And just to be clear, I didn't hit his mother with a car.
Mike: Yeah. We have rat babies now.
Mike: I want to stay too but I've gone as bad as much use out of these boxers as I can..
Phoebe: Oh, I love you guys too, but Mike got off work early. Wait. Wait, I�m not t�not that kind of girl that just ditches her friends to be with her boyfriend. You know what? I am. Bye guys! (waves to the bar) Judy! Bye.
Mike: (looks at her astonished) Alright, then I'm gonna change my name.
(she slaps him in the face, Mike looks like he doesn't believe what just happened. Precious leaves, and he turns to Phoebe.)
Mike: Hey, when did we become one of those couples whose lives revolve around their rats?
Mike: I gotta tell you, I can't believe I'm doing this with you. Although I did just get out of a nine-year relationship, so I guess I should be open and taking some risks.
Mike: How do I and Joey know each other? Wow, if I had a nickel for every time somebody has asked me that.
Chandler: Be-cause, we were talking about ways that he could beat Mike and I told him that Phoebe wanted to get married.
Joey: (Laughs) Of course we do! Mike is playing a game that we used to play in high school. Yeah, where we pretend we don't know each other. We played all kinds of games. (To Mike) Hey, remember the one where I punch you in the face for not being cool?!
Mike: (looks strangely shocked) Excuse me... (he leaves, then Phoebe realizes what she did).
Joey: Hey, hey... I can convince people to do anything, you know. I bet I can even get Mike to do that "thing". What is it?
Chandler: Oh, because his penis was too big. (he notices that David is not amused) Oh, I'm sorry, that's the kind of thing I do. (pause) They broke up because Mike didn't want to get married. Hey, what if you just let Phoebe know you'd be open to marriage?
Mike: At one point near the end she deliberately defecated.....
Mike: I always wanted to play piano professionally, and I figured if I don't do this now, I never will.
Mike: Okay, when I got divorced, I didn't think I'd feel this way about someone for a really long time... Then again, I didn't think I'd meet someone like you... and... this may be crazy soon, but... I want you to have this... (He tries to get something from his pocket, but it's not that easy... Phoebe looks in a "what's happening" face to him. He finally has found something) No, not... that's gum. (He digs in a little more.) Ooh, five bucks... I love it when that happens, you know... Think no note's there...
Mike: Oh wow! Im free for her!
Mike: oh it's just you have that look (shuts the front door)
Mike: I'll make it a hundred!
Mike: Because I was told I'd get a free dinner, which I didn't. And that I'd meet a pretty girl. Which I did.
Joey: Well, hey! Well... (he takes his mug to toast Phoebe) Here's to Phoebe, who's found the greatest guy in the world! To Phoebe and... (a bit uncertain) I wanna say Mike? (pause) To Phoebe and Mike!
Mike: Ok, unless you're not gonna try to get me to join a cult are you?
Phoebe: (Takes mike) Thanks, hi. Um, I wanna start with a song that means a lot to me this time of year. (Shakes bell as an introduction) (Sung:)
MIKE: (Entering the apartment) I, I was just thinking about how much more we have to talk about.
(They turn back around to see the baby Monica's carrying, but then they realise what the surprise is. Ross, Mike, Phoebe and Rachel gasp and stare at Chandler and his baby. Joey hasn't figured it out yet.)
Phoebe: Ok. I mean I know I did the right thing. You know, Mike never wants to get married and I shouldn't be in a relationship that has no future... but... pretty soon I'm gonna miss him so much. I'm gonna wanna see him again and you have to stop me from doing that.
MIKE: I'm so glad you're back.� (He hugs Phoebe.)
Mike: I'll tell her that it's over tonight at dinner. I promise.
Monica: Sure! If you're just gonna hang out as friends, then maybe I'll join ya. You know, I'm your friend (to Phoebe) and Mike's friend (Mike is sceptical).
Precious: Screw you, Mike. You're a coward and a bastard, and I hope you rot in hell.
Mike: Can we at least try living together? I mean you might change your mind about marriage.
Mike: Well I've got a book around...
Mike: And that's how it's done! (Phoebe kisses him)
Ross: Mike "Gandolf" Ganderson, only like the funest guy in the world.
Mike: I get the joke. Sophisticated as it was. Now the thing I wanna say is... maybe we should have talked about this before. Us living together, you're not expecting a proposal, right?
(They start to leave Central Perk. The band starts to play "Here, There and Everywhere" by the Beatles. The crowd rises from their seats. Phoebe and Chandler walk down the aisle. Phoebe really glows with happiness. So does Mike who watches her walk down the isle. When Phoebe and Chandler arrive, they kiss and Phoebe walks to her bridesmaids.)
Helena: Im sorry? (Holds out the mike.)
Mike: My friend Manny. I asked him to keep me away from you.
Mike: Look Phoebe, It's not about you. I just never wanna get married again.
[Cut to Central Perk, Phoebe at the mike.]
Phoebe: Oh please, these guys, we haven't even moved in yet and they have us picking out china patterns. (Mike seems to gag a little...and laughs nervously. They begin to leave. Phoebe bolts back)
(There's booing around them, and Mike sinks in his chair, holding his hand in above his eyes, hoping no-one would recognize him)
Mike: No, no Mike, just Crap Bag. First name Crap, last name Bag.
Mike: Oh, I made a little something. If I had more time to work on it, it'd be better, but..
Mike: Phoebe, I love you. There's no-one else in the world I would ask to marry me... three times. But I wanna take care of you, have babies with you, and grow old with you... Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?
Mike: And there is Kevin.
Joey: Mike.
Mike: No! It's my fault. I keep trying to propose in these stupid ways and all I wanna do is tell you that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Mike: No, no! What I mean is, I hate going back to my apartment now... and partly because I live above a known crack den but... mostly because when I'm there, It's just, I really miss you. So.. do you want to move in together?
Phoebe: Mike? Okay! What's his last name?
Joey: MIKE!!!
Mike: Yeah?
Joey: Which is why I waited until now to introduce you to Mike.
Mike: I am Mike.
Mike: Well, I'm a lawyer.
Mike: Actually, I just gave up my practice.
Mike: No, I didn't.
Mike: What?!
(Phoebe and Mike look at him, and he goes over to the counter.)
Mike: It was nice meeting you!
Mike: (Joey holds up six fingers) Six!
Mike: There isn't a piano here.
Mike: Do you think that maybe, sometime, I could...
Mike: Really?
Mike: That's great. What kind of music do you play?
Mike: Phoebe (comes in smiling then sees Phoebe crying) what's wrong?
Mike: Hey, so are you sure your ready to go.
Mike: but you did say it
[Scene: Ross goes to see Mike to explain about Phoebe.]
Mike: what's up is Phoebe ok?
Mike: Sure (looks confused) who are you?
Mike: that's why she was weird.
Ross: (He knocks at the door, Mike opens it) Hey Mike sorry to just drop by like this, can I come in?
Mike: Oh.
Mike: Vicrum?
Mike: I just think there's somebody better out there for you, (pause) I mean I'm not saying me but. maybe me.
(Monica opens the door and Mike is standing at the doorway)
[Scene: Phoebe is sitting with Mike, explaining about Vicrum.]
Mike: what's wrong?
Mike: Definitely
Mike: But Rachel I thought she just had a baby with Ross
Mike: uh huh
Phoebe: (returns) Okay, that was Mike.
Ross: So, so, is Mike coming to dinner?
Phoebe: Yeah, I kinda do. (Mike lets go of her hand) Well, how's this? (she takes Mike's hand and puts it on her breast, she tears open the sugar and puts it in her coffee. Mike thinks it over and nods appreciative. After that, they hold hands again. Joey now enters, and sees the two sitting on the couch, holding hands.)
Mike: its Mike Hanagen