words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. They're in the kitchen as Rachel enters.]
Monica: Hey!
Monica: Sure, we'll do that. What are you up to?
Monica: Oh my god.
Monica: Just figured, 'cause you and Ross are...
Monica: You want a job? Turn off "Oprah," and send out a resume!
Monica: Oh, it's perfect.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Emma is there in her playpen, while Chandler is behind the couch.]
(Monica enters from their bedroom with a calendar.)
Monica: Okay, just so you know, I'm gonna be ovulating from tomorrow until the sixth, so don't touch yourself in the next 48 hours.
(Monica looks at him.)
Monica: Yeah.
Monica: No, it's not.
Monica: Oh my god. Today's the sixth?! I may be done ovulating! I may have also served some very questionable meat at the restaurant.
Monica: Okay.
Monica: Hey, where are all my ovulation-sticks? There's only one here.
Monica: Chandler!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica emerges from the bathroom.]
Monica: We're okay. I'm still ovulating.
Monica: So, let's do this.
Monica: Come on. I know you're not eighteen anymore, but give it a minute.
Monica: Oh my god, Emma. Oh, sweetie, I forgot you were here. Oh, you're right, we can't do this. We can't leave her alone.
Monica: Unless... Maybe we do it here. I mean, how much can she even be aware of at this age?
Monica: Canoodling?
Monica: I don't know. I mean, I guess having sex in front of a baby isn't so...
Monica: I guess you're right.
Monica: But what kind of a sick bastard wants to do it in front of a deer?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Emma has fallen asleep in her playpen, and Chandler has fallen asleep right next to her on the floor. He's even sucking on a pacifier.]
Monica: She's asleep. Chandler?
Monica: What are you doing?
Monica: She's asleep.
Monica: Yes, but we have to be fast.
Monica (laughs): Okay, I'll try.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. They're done and come out of their bedroom. Emma is still gone.]
Monica: Well, that was weird. You were loud, and I was fast.
Monica: Oh, I wish I didn't have to wait to take a pregnancy test.
Monica: Oh my god, where's Emma? Where's Emma?
Monica: Okay, okay, I'm sure that Rachel came home early and picked up Emma. You go look across the hall, and I'll call her cell.
Monica: Hey, you better hope that we're pregnant, because one way or another, we're giving a baby back to Rachel.
Monica (on phone): Hey, Rach, how's it going?
Rachel (to Steve): Look, you know what, I'm sorry, but did you really think that this was going well? (To Monica.) What's up?
Monica: Hey, did you stop by here?
Monica: Oh my god, then...
Monica: Oh, thank god! Emma, there you are!
Monica: Oh, we were playing "peek-a-boo." She just � she loves it when I'm dramatic.
(Monica hangs up, and Rachel looks at her phone.)
Monica (to Joey): Why the hell did you take her?
Monica: No, we weren't!
Monica: No, please don't. Please, Joey. She will kill us!
Monica: Unless what?
Ross: Monica told me you had a blind date.
Monica: Sounds like you need to think about what you want, talk to Gavin, and you definitely should talk to Ross
Monica: I can't believe we've never done this before! It's sooo good! So good for Monica!
Monica: Who is it?
Monica: ...If-you-say-so.
Monica: Are you gonna be ok, officer, uhm,...
Monica: Oh my God, this man is gonna get naked in my apartment!
Monica: (walks towards Phoebe and the stripper) Uh, look, officer... uhm Sir...
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Phoebe are sitting ignoring each other. Rachel walks up with two pieces of cake.]
Monica: (laughs) You are so cute! No. No, it was a fight. You deal with it and move on! It's nothing to freak out about.
Monica: You don't know military time?
Monica: Youre supposed to double the tax. Not double the tax of Romania. I mean, whats-whats the deal? Are you, are you trying to buy me? Is this the way you get girls to go out with you?
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) (To All) Its the deli again!
Joey: (out of his Monica character) Very good! Drawing on your own experience, I like that!
Monica: Hey, you've got a boyfriend!
Monica: I clunked your heads together!
Monica: I KNOW!
Chandler: Hi Monica.
Monica: You're the most incredible woman I've ever met. How can I lose you? (Phoebe looks very flattered) Now, I don't actually have a ring...
Monica: It’s umm, it has something to do with transponding.
Chandler: (smiling at Monica) Right. (to Rachel) So how're you doing?
Monica: Ow! (Chandler slaps her on her back) Oh, that sounds nice! I am just there for jury duty. They really spruce that place up!
Monica: Is that some kind of boat talk?
[Flashback scene: We cut back to the 80's party. Rachel and Monica are "dancing".]
Monica: No, I think we should save our china for something really special. Like if the Queen of England comes over.
Monica: She and Phoebe took the stripper to the hospital.
Monica: That's what it says here. Flight 421, leaves at 8:40, Newark airport.
Monica: What? When was this?
Monica: Oh my God! That's wild!
Monica: No-no, its not okay! Its not! I mean you were just Youre so incredible! You went through all this time and effort to make this tape for me! Yknow Im just gonnaI, I am gonna make this up to you! I will! I-I am going to cook anything you want in here (points to the kitchen), and I am going to do anything you want in there! (Points to the bedroom.)
Monica: And that's great for you guys, but we want a lawn and a swingset...
Monica: Oh, crap!
Monica: You were my first kiss ever?
Monica: What? Wait! Why? (He turns and heads for the door and she chases after him.) Chandler! Chandler! Wait! Im sorry, I was just playing for one second! I was trying to find you to tell you that, look if you don't want me to see Richard again, I won't! He means nothing to me!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is cooking as Rachel paces nervously.]
Monica: (screaming) Six o'clock!
Rachel: Oh, I forgot this was in here. Umm, this was the uh garter that I was saving for my wedding and I wanted it to be Monicas something borrowed and its blue. (Starts to cry again.) Yeah
Monica: Ooh... she backed out.
Monica: (coming) Are you still crying about your damn baby? Pheebs, you gotta keep the line moving, remember, 20 seconds per person. Your see these clowns all the time! (she takes off)
Monica: Now Joey, you go down there and you suck up to him. I mean you suck like youve never sucked before!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, everyone is there and they are finishing watching the first episode of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. Joey is of course Mac.]
Monica: Oh thanks. (Reading the bill) Champagne, strawberries Oh my God! I cant believe Chandler ordered porn on our wedding night!
Ross: I'll do it! (Monica approaches)
Monica (rolling her eyes): oh God.
Monica: What?
(Monica enters the room)
Monica: YES! (Chandler gets an "oh no!" look on his face)
Monica: Rachel, you can go down there, you don't have to smoke. Just say you wanna get some fresh air.
Monica: Hi.
Monica: She's in her room, why?
RACHEL: Oh, please, Monica. You've always hated my lamp, and then, all of a sudden, it's just magically broken?
Monica: I know.
Monica: Okay, the reason why I asked you guys out to brunch today is because I have been doing some thinking about who should be my maid of honor.
Monica: (to the couple on her left) So, how about you huh? How do you know the happy couple?
Monica: Bye.
Monica: (Sounds moved) Really?
Monica: What?
Ross: (skeptical) That doesn't sound like you... That's Monica talking!
Phoebe: (to Monica) Help me.
Monica: You really want me to come back?
Monica: Yeah with Chandler not getting paid, we could really use 300 million dollars.
Monica: (thinking) AFFIRMATIVE!
Phoebe: Me too! (turning to Monica) Monica, do you think we could do it?
Monica: Really?
(Monica leaves and Phoebe closes the door behind her and tries to lock it.)
Monica: If only there were a smaller one to clean this one!
Monica: So, you're ready to do this?
Chandler: Oh yeah! (Monica walks outside)
Joey: Hey! (Monica turns and looks at him) Now Im a man of the cloth, but I still have feelings!
Rachel and Monica: I love you.
(Cut to inside Central Perk where Rachel is helping Phoebe. Chandler and Monica enter.)
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are showing everyone the van they bought for the catering business. Its an old Dodge van, that has a cartoon woman riding on a dragon painted on the side of it.]
(we cut to Monica)
Monica: Just subtract twelve.
Monica: Hey.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment.]
Monica: Hey.
Monica: Hey!
Monica: No, we haven't seen her since this morning.
Monica: These are for Erica!
Monica: Honey.
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. Chandler and Monica are looking through some papers.]
Monica: I want you to meet someone really special. Phoebe, this is Erica. And this is the baby!
Monica: Joey. Erica, baby!
Monica: (entering with Erica and Chandler) Hey you guys.
Monica: Youre right. I mean Im sorry. Yeah, I shouldnt be laughing. I should be laying down papers for you! (Runs off laughing which gets Chandler laughing.)
Monica: Ohh, Im so glad. Thank you so much for staying so calm during this. I mean its really, its made me stay calm. (Chandler just looks at her.) I coulda been worse!
Chandler: Monica. Calm, self.
Monica: Everyone. Erica, baby!
Monica: (sees what he is doing) Chandler, stop! It is not going to pop open!
Monica: (angry) Ow, what are the chances!
Monica: (enjoying what she's seeing) How's it going?
Monica: (Chandler's laughing) Did someone drop the baton again?
Monica: What is with you?
Monica: How's that now?
Monica: Are you awake?
Erica: Well, if there is anything else you wanna know... (Monica and Chandler look at each other)
Monica: How?
(Time lapse. Chandler and Monica are in bed now)
Monica: Yeah, but maybe we're just over-reacting.
[Scene: The Craps Table, Monica is still on her roll, only this time Chandler's with her and she has a huge crowd of people around.]