words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. They're in the kitchen as Rachel enters.]
Monica: Hey!
Monica: Sure, we'll do that. What are you up to?
Monica: Oh my god.
Monica: Just figured, 'cause you and Ross are...
Monica: You want a job? Turn off "Oprah," and send out a resume!
Monica: Oh, it's perfect.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Emma is there in her playpen, while Chandler is behind the couch.]
(Monica enters from their bedroom with a calendar.)
Monica: Okay, just so you know, I'm gonna be ovulating from tomorrow until the sixth, so don't touch yourself in the next 48 hours.
(Monica looks at him.)
Monica: Yeah.
Monica: No, it's not.
Monica: Oh my god. Today's the sixth?! I may be done ovulating! I may have also served some very questionable meat at the restaurant.
Monica: Okay.
Monica: Hey, where are all my ovulation-sticks? There's only one here.
Monica: Chandler!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica emerges from the bathroom.]
Monica: We're okay. I'm still ovulating.
Monica: So, let's do this.
Monica: Come on. I know you're not eighteen anymore, but give it a minute.
Monica: Oh my god, Emma. Oh, sweetie, I forgot you were here. Oh, you're right, we can't do this. We can't leave her alone.
Monica: Unless... Maybe we do it here. I mean, how much can she even be aware of at this age?
Monica: Canoodling?
Monica: I don't know. I mean, I guess having sex in front of a baby isn't so...
Monica: I guess you're right.
Monica: But what kind of a sick bastard wants to do it in front of a deer?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Emma has fallen asleep in her playpen, and Chandler has fallen asleep right next to her on the floor. He's even sucking on a pacifier.]
Monica: She's asleep. Chandler?
Monica: What are you doing?
Monica: She's asleep.
Monica: Yes, but we have to be fast.
Monica (laughs): Okay, I'll try.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. They're done and come out of their bedroom. Emma is still gone.]
Monica: Well, that was weird. You were loud, and I was fast.
Monica: Oh, I wish I didn't have to wait to take a pregnancy test.
Monica: Oh my god, where's Emma? Where's Emma?
Monica: Okay, okay, I'm sure that Rachel came home early and picked up Emma. You go look across the hall, and I'll call her cell.
Monica: Hey, you better hope that we're pregnant, because one way or another, we're giving a baby back to Rachel.
Monica (on phone): Hey, Rach, how's it going?
Rachel (to Steve): Look, you know what, I'm sorry, but did you really think that this was going well? (To Monica.) What's up?
Monica: Hey, did you stop by here?
Monica: Oh my god, then...
Monica: Oh, thank god! Emma, there you are!
Monica: Oh, we were playing "peek-a-boo." She just � she loves it when I'm dramatic.
(Monica hangs up, and Rachel looks at her phone.)
Monica (to Joey): Why the hell did you take her?
Monica: No, we weren't!
Monica: No, please don't. Please, Joey. She will kill us!
Monica: Unless what?
Ross: Monica told me you had a blind date.
Phoebe: Hey, does Monica know about her broken plates yet?
Monica: Honey, if you know it through a wall, you know it too well!
Monica: Yeah!
Monica: Okay, heres your milk. What do you want to talk about? (She sees that Chandler has fallen asleep and slams the door loudly to wake him up.)
Monica: You what? You said you liked them.
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, Rachel is entering carrying two glasses of wine. She gives one to Phoebe, keeps one, and completely ignores Monica.]
[Outside the window, Monica and Chandler jog up. Monica playfully pushes him. They start puching and slapping harder and harder until Monica pushes him down. Chandler stands up, with a serious expression, and chases her away.]
Monica: Ok, how about this: We got wind up toys for Emma for her birthday. We can make them race, and whoever comes in last, stays!
Monica: And the eye!
Monica: Fine, so you don't like them. Everybody else does.
Monica: No, those first two windows, (Points) that's the lobby. And y'know the other one over there, that's the stairway. You've been counting wrong.
(He turns his back to Monica and does the international sign for big boobies again.)
Monica: Not really.
Monica: I have a problem.
Monica: Well, I was dancing around, and singing "No Woman, No Cry" and I got stuck.
Monica: Are you crazy?! We own those two! I mean look at 'um, he can't breath and she's popping pills.
Monica: Really? I don't really feel like it.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Monica are all there as Chandler enters wearing glasses.]
Monica: Sure, what do you have in mind?
Chandler: You got a man who's a nanny...? You got a manny...? (Monica starts laughing, but very exaggerated. Joey realises they also should laugh and punches Ross. Now all three of them laugh, but very fake. Chandler seems happy again.)
Monica: Hey.
Monica: I don't know!
Monica: That's sweet. Drink your hair.
(Monica glares at him.)
Monica: That's not really how it works.
Monica: Which one is which again?
Monica: Hi Frank.
Monica: Okay, but there is a wire back there! I mean that switch is connected to something!
Phoebe: Okay. (Monica closes the door, gets the guitar, and then hands it out.)
Monica: Oh my god!
Monica: Thank you so much for seeing us. Phoebe has told us such great things about you guys.
Monica: (closing the door) Its unbelievable! I-I cant believe that sign didnt work!
(Monica looks at him.)
Monica: Well, we appreciate anything you can tell us.
Monica: It's.. It's just so pretty and white.
Monica: Can I adopt you?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross is relating his recent conversation with Emily to the gang.]
Monica: They're in the kitchen getting something to eat. Can you believe how nice they are?
Monica: Why? What did you do in the bathroom?
Monica: (Holding a shirt in front of Ross.) Okay, maybe this will make your teeth look less white. (Ross has a big smile.) Nope. Okay, colors that dont work are blue, yellow, green, red, black, white, orange, and purple.
Monica: I know! Now look, theres only one problem though. Theres only room for one, so I guess one of you will have to stay at Joeys.
Monica: Hey, Phoebs
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is sitting at the kitchen table staring at the phone as Monica enters.]
Monica: What?
[Chandler and Monica head out with some stuff. Phoebe comes out of her room with a bag.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Chandler enter to find Phoebe there with the triplets.]
Chandler: Owen didn't know he was adopted, and Monica told him.
(Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk away, sipping their drinks)
Monica: (to Chandler) Hey sweetie! (they kiss)
Chandler: (To Monica) Why...why?
Monica: (entering) Hey!
Monica: Chandler gets pedicures!
Monica: Hey Phoebe!
Monica: There. Here's their card.
[Scene: Joey's apartment. He's prying open the drawer with a crowbar to no avail. Monica, Rachel and Chandler enter.]
MONICA: No, honey, in a wonderful way. You know what you want now. Most guys don't even have a clue. You are ready to take risks, you are ready to be vulnerable, and intimate with someone.
Monica: What?
Monica: Oh, what are we gonna do! I don't wanna see her!!
Monica: Okay Ill take her, here. (Takes Emma)
Monica: And listen to this... (shakes her body so the shells tingle)
Monica: Yeah, you can hear everything through these stupid walls.
Monica: I think I hear curtains closing...
Monica: How about fifty bucks?
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Monica and Phoebe are reading magazines when the phone rings and Phoebe reaches to pick it up]
Monica: It could be Amanda!
Monica: And you would?
Monica: We weren’t picking up, it’s Amanda!
Amanda: Yes, I was looking for Monica.
Monica: No that was Jarred! Wow! I havent thought about him in a long time (Stares off into the distance lost in thought.) (Pause) Anyway, umm Wills, Wills here on business and he didnt have a place to go so I invited him here.
Monica: One Two Three...
Monica: She's this girl who used to live in the building before you did. Then she moved to England and she picked up this fake British accent. On the machine this is her message. (she apes Amanda using an awful British accent) "Monica, darling! It's Amanda calling!"
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment]
Monica: Why don't you just call her?
Monica: Hey Phoebe!
Monica: Is Amanda here yet?
Monica: Hi!
Chandler: No, no resentment, believe me, it's worth it. 'Kay? Y'know in a relationship you have these key moments that you know you'll remember for the rest of your life? Well, every- single- second is like that with Aurora.. and I've just wasted about thirty-five of them talking to you people, so, uh.. Monica, can you help me with the door? (He has armloads of stuff.)
Monica: Hi Honey! We're all here; we just want to wish you a Merry Christmas.
Monica: (pause) (to Phoebe) Chandler gets pedicures!
Chandler: (without taking his eyes off the bra) You don't know! (Monica just smiles)
Monica: When were we not friends?
(Monica looks shocked)
Monica: Oh My God!
Monica: (To Phoebe) You were going to cut me out?
Monica: Ehm, we were friends in 1992.
Monica: Wait a minute! He stopped talking the minute Phoebe came in!
Monica: Nope! (She turns and leaves)
Monica: You wanna fool around with Joey?
Monica: I have nothing to say to you.
Monica: We are not friends with Phoebe anymore.
[Monica and Chandlers apartment.]
Phoebe: Please, Monica? In the hall?
Monica: I'm still all those things!
Monica: Why don't you just be straight with her? Tell her the truth.
Monica: I can't believe you tried to cut me out. Why Phoebe, why?
Monica: (running back into the room) Kiss him, you fool!!
Monica: I won't know what I would do without you.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Monica are curled up on one of the chairs.]
Monica: You're a really good kisser.
(Rachel, Joey and Chandler pat him on his shoulders and walk off, together with Monica)