words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. They're in the kitchen as Rachel enters.]
Monica: Hey!
Monica: Sure, we'll do that. What are you up to?
Monica: Oh my god.
Monica: Just figured, 'cause you and Ross are...
Monica: You want a job? Turn off "Oprah," and send out a resume!
Monica: Oh, it's perfect.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Emma is there in her playpen, while Chandler is behind the couch.]
(Monica enters from their bedroom with a calendar.)
Monica: Okay, just so you know, I'm gonna be ovulating from tomorrow until the sixth, so don't touch yourself in the next 48 hours.
(Monica looks at him.)
Monica: Yeah.
Monica: No, it's not.
Monica: Oh my god. Today's the sixth?! I may be done ovulating! I may have also served some very questionable meat at the restaurant.
Monica: Okay.
Monica: Hey, where are all my ovulation-sticks? There's only one here.
Monica: Chandler!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica emerges from the bathroom.]
Monica: We're okay. I'm still ovulating.
Monica: So, let's do this.
Monica: Come on. I know you're not eighteen anymore, but give it a minute.
Monica: Oh my god, Emma. Oh, sweetie, I forgot you were here. Oh, you're right, we can't do this. We can't leave her alone.
Monica: Unless... Maybe we do it here. I mean, how much can she even be aware of at this age?
Monica: Canoodling?
Monica: I don't know. I mean, I guess having sex in front of a baby isn't so...
Monica: I guess you're right.
Monica: But what kind of a sick bastard wants to do it in front of a deer?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Emma has fallen asleep in her playpen, and Chandler has fallen asleep right next to her on the floor. He's even sucking on a pacifier.]
Monica: She's asleep. Chandler?
Monica: What are you doing?
Monica: She's asleep.
Monica: Yes, but we have to be fast.
Monica (laughs): Okay, I'll try.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. They're done and come out of their bedroom. Emma is still gone.]
Monica: Well, that was weird. You were loud, and I was fast.
Monica: Oh, I wish I didn't have to wait to take a pregnancy test.
Monica: Oh my god, where's Emma? Where's Emma?
Monica: Okay, okay, I'm sure that Rachel came home early and picked up Emma. You go look across the hall, and I'll call her cell.
Monica: Hey, you better hope that we're pregnant, because one way or another, we're giving a baby back to Rachel.
Monica (on phone): Hey, Rach, how's it going?
Rachel (to Steve): Look, you know what, I'm sorry, but did you really think that this was going well? (To Monica.) What's up?
Monica: Hey, did you stop by here?
Monica: Oh my god, then...
Monica: Oh, thank god! Emma, there you are!
Monica: Oh, we were playing "peek-a-boo." She just � she loves it when I'm dramatic.
(Monica hangs up, and Rachel looks at her phone.)
Monica (to Joey): Why the hell did you take her?
Monica: No, we weren't!
Monica: No, please don't. Please, Joey. She will kill us!
Monica: Unless what?
Ross: Monica told me you had a blind date.
Monica: Look, I know that I shouldve told them. I know I shouldnt care what they think. Im sorry.
Monica: Aww, honey Im sorry.
Joey: (to Monica and Rachel) He's talking to London!
Rachel: Pheebs, Monica tripped me, I don't think I can ever run again, ever!
Chandler: Well Monica just told me that they dont.
Monica: You really think thatll work?
Monica: God! If youre gonna cry about it! (She grabs the box and goes to through it out.]
Monica: Nothing.
Monica: Viva Las Gaygas!
Monica: No, sweetie, I-I trust you.
[Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel laugh]
Monica: Did it ever occur to you that I might just be that stupid?
Monica: Hey, it is unreasonable to expect a child to wait for a light bulb to cook brownies! (She goes to the attic.)
Monica: I lost our mattresses.
Monica: All right, there's some pizza at my place, we can all eat with one hand right? Are you with me?
(Joey leaves and Monica comes up for air.)
Mr. Geller: Monica, all this food looks wonderful, you should think about doing this for a living.
[Monica rushes over to Chandlers side.]
Monica: No I totally disagree. No I think it's fine for a guy to do something like that. Such you an actor. Not that you need to,your eyebrows are...
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe.]
Rachel: Yeah. Yeah, and yknow you-you deserve to win. And-and yknow I was thinking about it, if-if youre Monicas maid of honor that means I get to be yours.
Joey: Uh, well yeah-yeah, I've got all of that going on. Yeah, listen uh, I want you to make sure you tell Chandler that he couldn't have been more wrong! Uh-oh! I gotta go Monica, my uh, my sushi's here!
Monica: Hey, have you seen Rachel?
(Monica goes into Rachels room.)
Monica screaming at Ross: Forget the bubblewrap! There isn't time!
Monica: Mm-mh. I printed them out on my computer.
MONICA: Well, uh, he's a doctor.
Monica: Mr. Bigot. He tells the most racist jokes.
Joey: Clear the tracks for the boobie payback express. Next stop: Rachel Green. (He goes into the bathroom. We hear a scream and he comes out, closely followed by Monica in a towel)
Monica: (shocked) What?
Monica: Mom, uh, Chandler was just saying how beautiful your sweater is.
[Cut back to Monica and Chandler telling Phoebe and Joey the story.]
Monica: (singing) Well be waiting for you
Rachel: Monica, you dont even have a bed, you sleep in a ball on the floor!
(Joey leaves and Monica mouths to Chandler Oh my God!)
Monica: I like 'em.
Monica: Ross, if you dont tell them, then I will!
Monica: What?! I-I-I don't, I don't do that!
Monica: I just wanted to say that I hope you do have sex tonight and I hope that you guys get back together, but I must warn you, the night that you announce your engagement Im going to announce that Im pregnant!
Monica: Well, I think I shouldnt look directly at them.
Monica: Really?
Monica: Yeah! And if, and if we have a baby one-day, and the doctor hands it to you in the delivery room and you dont cry, so what! And-and-and, and if we take him to college and come home and see his empty room for the first time, and you got nothing, it wont matter to me.
Monica: Okay.
[Scene: Allesandros, continued from earlier. The other waiters are gone and Monica is confronting Joey about his not speaking up.]
Rachel: (understands that Monica and Ethan wanna be alone) Hey, did you guys check out those new hand-dryers in the bathroom?
[Monica exits to the bathroom.]
[Monica puts the pea on top of the spoonful and takes a bite.]
Joey: Oh Monica, listen, I ah, I saw down at the hardware store, they got those designer tiles on sale. If you ever want to redo the bathroom floor.
[Jack and Judy exit to Monicas room.]
Monica: No, of course not. It's not even an issue. Cause I told him I was 22.
Monica: (out loud, to her parents) Mom! Dad! Ross smoked pot in college!
Monica: Ross? Lets go.
Monica: That could be a four or a five. It's your call.
[Jack and Judy come out of Monicas room and sit down on the couch.]
Monica: Let's see, today's Monday... Never.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is being triple teamed.]
[The Gellers glare at Monica.]
[The Gellers glare at Monica, shocked]
Ross: Monica and Chandler are living together!
Monica: Oh, did you catch him?!
Monica: Im really gonna miss you.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is making a fruit drink in the blender, Rachel has just finished her shower and is coming out of the bathroom.]
MONICA: Ok. Oh boy. You are doin' so good. You wanna squeeze my hand? All right, Ross, don't squeeze it so hard. Honey, really, don't squeeze it so hard! Oh, Ross! Let go of my hand!
Monica: Oh, here.
[Scene: The Storage Room in the basement of Monica and Rachel's building, Monica and Rachel are looking for something.]
Monica: Oh no-no-no, its only one night a week, and plus I get to take all of you out for a lot of free dinners.
Monica: I'm sorry, I'm just excited about being an aunt!
Monica: Aw, Im sorry sweetie that she doesnt feel the same way.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is in the kitchen as Chandler enters.]
MONICA: Ya know, my party is fun. I mean, maybe it's a little quieter, less obvious sorta fun but, you know, if people would just give it a chance... [volleyball hits her in the head from behind]
Monica: We are there!
Monica: Joey, this is for you. (gives him a jar of jam) It's blackberry curin.
Monica: Oh my God!
Chandler: No. And if I did, I don't think we'd be going out. Monica, this is getting ridiculous!
Monica: This is crazy! I mean, it's such a stupid argument. I don't even wanna see Richard again.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, Chandler is there. Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Rachel: We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica.
Monica: What?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone has just finished Thanksgiving dinner and are groaning over their fullness.]
Monica: What are you talking about? (Pointing out the window.) She obviously lives on the second floor, seventh apartment from the left!
Monica: (pushes him and starts to cry) Oh shut up!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, the next morning, Monica and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Monica, and Ross are there.]
Ross: Monica! (Pause) Would it?
Monica: Probably the only time I'll ever say this, but did you see the ass on her?
Monica: I mean, my feelings for Richard are certainly gone.
Monica: What?
[Time Lapse, the babies are finally asleep. Good for Phoebe! The only problem is, Monicas apartment looks like a tornado, a hurricane, a swarm of locusts, fire, brimstone, hail, and giant man-eating, radioactive ants have torn the place apart. Needless to say, its messy enough to cause Monica to die of shock right away. Parents with small children know what Im talking about.]
MONICA: Cheers.� (She clinks his glass and pulls back.)� Okay, buh-bye.� (She closes the door.)
Monica: 5 6 7 8!
Monica: Was it really that good?
Monica: Youre a really good kisser.
Monica: Me too!
Monica: Ross, I think we should stick to the routine, we dont wanna look stupid!
Monica: Yes! (They run over to a platform)
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, Chandler and Rachel are there, and Phoebe enters with the Chick and the Duck.]
Phoebe: Yeah, its totally meant to be. (To Monica) Tell him who you originally wanted to hook up with that night.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is looking for a new name in Phoebes book of names.]
Monica: Now we just have to wait for a call and... and someone tells us there's a baby waiting for us. Oh...
Monica: What? We could do it!