words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. It's a scene from 1016 TOW Rachel's Going Away Party.]
Monica: Erica, are you okay?
Monica: Oh my God!
Monica: She doesn't have a stomach-ache. She's in labor!
[Scene: The delivery room at the hospital. Monica, Chandler and Erica are there. Erica is in labor, and she is breathing heavily.]
Monica: Breathe, breathe, breathe... Good.
Monica: No, last time you said it like Dracula, and it scared her! Can I get you anything? You want some more ice chips?
Monica: Alright, I'll be right back.
Monica: To use the bathroom.
Monica: What?
Monica: What kind of social situation are you comfortable with?
Monica: You'll be fine. Nah, you won't, but I'll be back in two minutes.
(Monica leaves, and Chandler closes the door. Erica just looks at him.)
Joey: It's my house-warming present for Monica and Chandler.
Joey: Yeah, Erica went into labor last night. Monica and Chandler are at the hospital right now!
Phoebe: Oh, this is like the best day ever. Ever! You guys might get back together, Monica and Chandler are getting their baby, there are chicks and ducks in the world again! Oh, I feel like I'm in a musical! (Singing) "Daa - raa... When the sun comes up, bright and beaming! And the moon comes..."
[Scene: The Hospital. Erica is moaning and about to give birth. Monica, Chandler, a nurse and a doctor are there with her.]
Monica: It's just a little bit more, honey.
(Monica gives Chandler a look.)
(Monica walks down to Erica's legs to watch the birth.)
Monica: Oh! Oh my God! That is the most beautiful top of a head I have ever seen! Chandler, you have to see this!
Monica: Chandler, you don't wanna miss this. This is the birth of your child! It's the miracle of life!
Monica: It's a... It's a boy!
Monica: Oh, you did it!
(A nurse gives Monica a pair of scissors. Monica gives it to Chandler, and they cut it together.)
Monica: (to her son) Oh, hey handsome! Oh, I'm gonna love you so much that no woman is ever gonna be good enough for you! (To Chandler, on the verge of tears) Oh, we are so lucky!
(Monica looks at him.)
Monica: (To Erica) Oh my God, he's beautiful. Thank you so much.
(Chandler stares at the doctor, completely shocked. Monica just freezes and turns around slowly.)
Monica: I... I'm sorry, who should be along in a what now?
Monica: We only ordered one!
Monica: (to the doctor) Wait, did you know it was twins?
Monica: (to Erica) Anybody tell you?
Monica: This is unbelievable.
Chandler: Interesting! (To Monica) Can I see you for a second?
Monica: What do you mean "what do we do"?
Monica: Chandler, you're panicking!
Monica: We can't split them up!
Monica: Okay, what if the person who adopts the other one is horrible?
Monica: Yeah, because I hear the king is looking to adopt.
Chandler: Monica, we are not ready to have two babies!
Monica: That doesn't matter! We have waited so long for this. I don't care if it's two babies. I don't care if it's three babies! I don't care if the entire cast of "Eight is Enough" comes out of there! We are taking them home, because they are our children!
Monica: Okay!
(Monica and Chandler run back to Erica's bed.)
Chandler: (To Monica) Well, now we have one of each! (To the doctor) And that's enough!
[Scene: The hospital. Monica and Chandler are holding the twins, while two nurses are taking care of Erica.]
Monica: Do you think they recognize each other from in there?
Monica: There's something that we wanna tell you. We decided to name the girl-baby Erica.
Monica: Son of a gun, it is!
Monica: Okay, well, bye!
Monica: We'll call you!
(The nurses take Erica to the recovery room. Monica and Chandler smile at each other.)
Monica: Oh, look at these little bunnies!
Monica: Okay.
Monica: Alright, let's see..
Monica: Yeah, I'm good.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Joey and Phoebe are there. There is a white crib decorated with balloons in the middle of the apartment. Also, there are boxes all over the apartment. Joey is working on something on the coffee table.]
Joey: Monica just called from the cab. She said they should be here any minute. And apparently, there's some big surprise.
(Monica enters carrying her son.)
Joey: (To Monica) Hey, so what is the big surprise?
(Joey stares at Chandler and Monica and finally puts two and two together. He gasps.)
Monica: Yes, it's twins!
Monica: (points at the baby she's holding) This is a boy, (points at the baby Chandler is holding) and that's a girl.
Monica: Yeah, we named the boy Jack after dad.
(Chandler and Monica carry Erica and Jack over to the crib and put them down carefully.)
Monica: I'm just so glad you got to see the babies.
Monica: I love you.
Monica: Call us when you get there.
(Monica and Chandler look shocked as Ross goes to leave.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica, Chandler and Joey are there, packing the last boxes.]
Monica: Now, that you can do.
(Monica and Chandler enter.)
(Chandler grins, while Monica is less enthusiastic.)
Monica: Oh, great! Just what you want for a new house with infants. Bird feces.
Monica: Actually, I'm gonna go check on the twins.
(Monica turns around and is about to leave when she steps on something.)
Monica: Oh God! What did I just step on?
Monica: Oh..
Monica: I'm sorry, I didn't know to look for Chinese food on the floor.
(Phoebe picks up her cell-phone and calls Monica. Monica is still packing in her apartment.)
Monica: Hello.
(Monica is standing by the crib, and she's looking at her babies.)
Monica: Oh my God! Ross, you wouldn't believe the cute little noises the twins are making. Listen.
Ross: Monica? Monica, Monica, Monica, Monica..?
Monica: Oh, I'm sorry. Shoot, they were doing it before.
Monica: Oh, wait, wait, wait! Here they go again.
Ross: Monica? Monica, Monica, Monica, Monica..?
Monica: Isn't that cute?
Monica: Oh, okay. Alright, it's flight 421. Leaves at 8:40.
Monica: That's what it says here. Flight 421, leaves at 8:40, Newark airport.
Monica: Newark airport. Why, where are you?
(Monica enters.)
Monica: Hey! Did you find them?
Monica: Oh, well sure. This gotta be so hard. I'll do it. Gimme!
(Monica grabs the hammer and the crowbar and gets ready to bust it open.)
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Monica has completely destroyed the foosball-table, and Chandler and Joey are holding the birds.]
Monica: Alright. My job here is done.
Monica: Yeah, they were just slowing me down. Alright, I have to get back to the babies. I'll see you girls later.
(Monica leaves.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Joey, Chandler, Monica and the twins are there. Everything has been put into boxes.]
Monica: Well, that's it. Everything's packed.
Monica: I know.
Monica: I put three lasagnas in your freezer.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Chandler and Monica are holding the twins. Joey and Phoebe are sitting by the window, while Ross and Rachel are standing together. The apartment is completely empty. Two men are carrying a large dresser.]
Monica: Okay, please be careful with that. It was my grandmother's. Be careful.
Monica: If that falls off the truck, it wouldn't be the worst thing.
(Monica and Chandler put Jack and Erica in their stroller.)
Monica: Oh, yeah, that's true.
Monica: Wait a minute. What about that summer during college that you lived with grandma, and you tried to make it as a dancer?
Monica: Oh, honey, I forgot. I promised Treeger that we'd leave our keys.
(Chandler and Monica walk over to the kitchen-counter and leave their keys. Then the other four pick out their keys and leave them as well.)
Monica: (crying) This is harder than I thought it would be.
(Chandler hugs her. Monica hugs Ross and Rachel as Chandler gets the stroller with the twins.)
Monica: We got some time.
(They all leave the apartment. Joey helps Chandler with the stroller in the hallway, while Monica and Rachel have their arms around each other. Everybody walks downstairs to Central Perk. The camera goes inside the apartment again, and it pans around. We see the keys on the counter, and the final shot is of the frame around the peephole. The screen fades to black.)
Monica: No youre fine. (Joey checks anyway.) All right well, do you think I could take Rachel?
Joey: Ooh, look-look-look-look-look! I got Monica naked!
Monica: Hello? (Listens) Oh, hi Ross! (To Rachel) See? Other people call me!
Monica: Hello, people who do not live here.
Monica: (looking at Rachels jeans) Where did you get those jeans?!
Monica: I warned you...
Monica: Sure, we have no money, go ahead.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is on the couch as Monica enters.]
Chandler: Yeah, I think that's wrong, but there's a Connect the Dots in here for you later. (To Monica) Hey, how about maroon?
Monica: Oh, and I can also speak a little French. Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? (Mischa laughs) Why? What did I say?
Monica: Who? I mean have you seen a car come by here in the last hour and a half? I think we should call Ross, maybe he can get a car and come pick us up.
Monica: But my clothes areohh! (They both leave.)
Monica: I think he is fine! It's just that we don't know anything real about him... we should get more information.
MONICA: Oh look, and he did my crossword puzzle.
Mrs. Green: Now dont worry! Everythings gonna be okay. (Hugs Rachel while she is standing and Rachel is sitting, seeing this Monica decides to join in on the hugging by hugging Mrs. Green from behind her back.)
MONICA: Scary pigeon's back?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler comes running in. Everyone else is already there.]
Monica: Is he right? Am I reallyAm I awful?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel's surprise party. The apartment is festooned with cups. There are cups everywhere! Cup centerpiece, cup garland, etc., etc]
Phoebe: Ohh, you are so lucky! (To Chandler) Hey! So, where's Monica? Did you guys make up?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are there. Phoebe walks in ringing a bell.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe are sitting around the coffee table.]
Monica: Look Ross, the only question you need to ask is, "Do you see a future?" I mean like do you see yourself marrying her? (Ross pauses in consideration.) Oh my God! You did it already! You married her, didnt you?!
Monica: You don't know everything. Did you know that I'm going out with Rachel tonight instead of you? Hmm? And did you know that the only baby around here is you?! And did you know that I can't even look at you right now?! (She storms out.)
[Scene: The hallway, Joey, Janine, Monica, and Chandler are returning from their second date.]
MONICA: Alright that's great, then just go. Go Knicks.
Monica: (again, lying) Im gonna go into the bathroom so I can look at it in the mirror, as I eat it.
Monica: This is Rachel. I mean, what are you gonna do, never going to talk to her again? I mean I know its weird, its awkward, but you gotta at least try.
[Scene: Monica's bedroom, Phoebe is finishing with her haircut and Monica is whincing.]
Monica: Yeah sure, nature called, she wanted to see who else did.
Monica: I just tell her, I have to get it over with. I told Ross and Phoebe and shes the only one left!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Monica, Chandler, Rachel, and Ross are playing Monopoly as Phoebe enters angrily.]
MONICA: Not a basset, a bassinet.
Monica: See, this is why I told you never get involved with your assistant! And here is no such thing as keeping secrets when it comes to affairs. (To Chandler) Did you hear that Chandler? No such thing!
ROSS: Monica, Monica, your guest are turning into jerky, OK.
Monica: This is so cool, maybe this is something you can do every week.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are getting ready to go on their honeymoon. Monica is entering from the bedroom.]
Monica: Yeah! Joey has the best boyfriend ever!
Monica: It's a diaper commercial.
MONICA: Over here dad. [he pans over and we see a torso taking up the whole screen]
Monica: Alright, well I'm tearing the lettuce.
[Scene: The craps table, Monica is on a big roll.]
Monica: I kind of have to don't I? Because of this stupid thing (Points to her wedding ring.)
Monica: For this weekend! Oh gosh, it would be perfect, we get to see Joey plus we get to start our anniversary celebration on the plane. We can call it out plane-aversary.
MONICA: I don't know, Chandler. Let's take a look.
MONICA: Oh, I'm gonna kill those guys.
MONICA: Hi. Richard just told me he loves me.
Monica: Okay, we're gonna start in the kitchen. Plates get put into plate protectors and stacked ten to a box. The silverware gets bundled in rubber bands and then bubble wrapped. Got it?
Monica: (Closing the door) Goodbye Mr.Heckles.
Monica: Um, well, I was going to, I-I-I really was. But um, then somewhere, just out of nowhere, I didnt.
Monica: Okay, so how do I make him think I wanna have sex with him?
Monica: I dont know! I dontmaybe youre feeling a little resentful. Maybe ah, maybe you thought youd get married first! Maybe you cant stand the fact that your formally fat friend is getting married before you!
Monica: Chandler! I have to tell you, you smell so smokey I have to get up. I'm not kidding. (She's not; she stands and walks away. Chandler moves closer.)
Monica: Okay. (She gets off him.) God well, we gotta go back and get them!
Phoebe: I cant believe youre gonna ask Monica to marry you!
Monica: Hey! What did you decide to do about the movie?
Joey: Yknow, Monica and Chandler are married. Ross and Rachel are having a baby. Maybe you and I should do something.
Monica: Because shes not gonna get to keep the babies.
Monica: There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]
Monica: Okay, just stay there a couple more hours and if she doesnt show up by then, then just come on home.
Monica: Are you okay, sweetie?
Monica: No you don't.
Monica: (explaining to the others) Carol moved her stuff out today.
Monica: (holding up a small cowboy hat) This isnt mine. (Sets it down and looks at the rest of the boxes.) Hey, this isnt, this isnt my stuff! Ugh, Ross! (Grabs and holds up a doll.) These are your boxes! Where are my boxes?
Monica: Rachel?!
Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex.
Ross: 'Pwease, Aunt Monica, pwease?' Oh, unclench. You're not even gonna be there.
Monica: No I dont know Chandler! Not anymore! Its like its like somethings changed.
Monica: Who wasn't invited to the wedding.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is there eating breakfast. Chandler is cleaning out his wallet.]
(Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel enters.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, with a blanket draped over her shoulders, opens the door to a similarly clad Chandler.]
Monica: What are you doing here so early?
Monica: Oh, by the way, you are more than welcome to look under any of the furniture, because, believe me, you won't find any porn or cigarettes under there!
Monica: Just breathe, breathe.. that's it. Just try to think of nice calm things...
Monica: Yes!
Monica: (horrified) Really?
Monica: Oh well, maybe we can put it in the guest bedroom.
(Monica goes to change.)
Monica: Change! Okay, sit down. (Shows Paul in) Two seconds.
Monica: No it's not. We had an inspection and they didn't find anything.
Monica: (entering) Oh good youre all here. Thanksgiving tomorrow, four oclock. (To Rachel) Oh, guess who I invited. Remember that guy Will Colbert from high school?
Monica: All right, Ive got a whole bunch of uh-uh, stuff in this area, but umm, Im getting the feeling that you dont want to deliver.
Monica: Oh my God!
Rachel: (as Monica) And by the way, have I mentioned that back in high school, I was a cow?
Chandler: I am only one man! (Monica heads out) Okay Ross, time is up!
Monica: Ok...ay.
Monica: It's no big deal, I do it all the time.
MONICA: No, a doctor of meat. Of course he's a real doctor. And he's handsome, and he's sweet, and know you'd like him. [she puts her arm around Richard]
Phoebe: Ohh! All right! All right. Heres what well do, Ill get twice as drunk as Monica and then no ones will even notice her.
Monica: Wow! Thats great! Dad must really like you, he doesnt ask just anyone to play.
Chandler: Oh come on guys, its not like I moved to Europe! I just moved across the hall! And we would have you over all the time if it werent for (struggles to get this out) Monicas allergies. (The duck quacks.) Youre right, I could never lie to you. She hates you. (The phone rings.) Should I get that? (Laughs, then answers the phone.) Hello? (Listens) Uh no, Joeys not here right now. Can I take a message? (Listens) Yeah, okay so the audition has been moved from 5:00 to 2:30? (Listens) Okay great. (Listens.) Bye. (Hangs up the phone and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle on the door but Monica walks in and forces him to jump out of the way.)
Monica: (pause)...Yeah. Yeah, I do.
Monica: What?..... What, you wanna spell it out with noodles?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is telling Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler about Emily's ultimatum.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica has opened another wedding present as Chandler enters.]
(Monica and Paul walk to the door and talk in a low voice so the others can't hear. The others move Monica's table closer to the door so that they can.)
Monica: Stop!
Monica: We'll talk later.