words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are on the couch as Joey enters.]
Monica: What was it for?
Joey: (to Monica and Phoebe) They loved me!
Monica: Wow!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, (although its really just Monicas now with Matthew Perry in rehab) Monica is folding her laundry with Ross reading the paper and Phoebe standing in the kitchen.]
Monica: Yeah. But a part of me also cant wait til its over. Chandler and I have this pact not to have sex again until the wedding.
Monica: Hey Phoebe, will you give me a hand?
Monica: I gotta make up the guest bedroom. (To Ross) Hey, Cousin Cassie is coming to stay with us a few days.
Monica: Uh-hmm.
Monica: Ross, shes 25 years old.
Monica: Hey!
Monica: Subtle guys!
Monica: I know youre planning my surprise bridal shower.
Monica: Okay. Sorry. (She goes into the guest bedroom.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey is entering.]
Monica: Hey! What did you decide to do about the movie?
Monica: Thats what you say about porn.
Monica: No! No you should! A lot of major actors do nude scenes! I mean the chance to star in a movie? Come on!
Monica: Plus, everyones gonna see your thing. (Giggles.)
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe and Rachel are trying to plan Monicas shower.]
Rachel: Ooh great! Very Monica.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is on the couch writing when Chandler enters to make his brief cameo.]
Monica: Hey!
Monica: Oh boy me too!
Monica: Yeah?
Monica: The wedding is off, sloppy and immature!
Monica: Okay. (They both jump up to head for there room, but Monica stops.) But wait, we cant. My Cousin Cassie is in the guest room, were supposed to have lunch.
Monica: Shrill?! The wedding is back on!
Monica: So, are you ready to go?
Monica: (catching him) Chandler!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is there as Chandler and Monica enters.]
Monica: (To Ross) Cassie needs to stay at your place.
Monica: Because Purvry Perverson over here cant stop staring at her.
Chandler: I was not staring at her. Okay? I was just listening intently. Its called being a good conversationalist. Watch. (Stares at Monicas eyes.) Say something.
Monica: You were staring about eight inches south of there.
Monica: She looks exactly like Aunt Marilyn.
Monica: Wafer thin ice!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey is telling Monica what the casting director was trying to get too.]
Monica: So to get this part you cant be?
Monica: But you are?
Monica: But you told them you werent?
Monica: Wow! Wow! And its definitely all gone? Theres nothing there to work with? (Joey glares at her.) What were you thinking?
Monica: Joey! This is not like learning to ride a horse! This is like learning to grow a turtleneck!
Monica: Oh my God, what are you gonna do?!
Monica: Unless!
Monica: Well, this may sound crazy, but there maybe something we could fashion.
Monica: Well Im not sure yet, but umm of the top of my head Im thinking double sided tape and some sort of luncheon meat.
Monica: (entering) Hey!
Monica: Well uh, Im trying to make something for Joey. Do you mind if I raid your fridge?
Monica: Okay. (Opens the fridge.) All right, turkey. Eh, that wont work. Cheese? (Picks it up) That wont work. Olive loaf? (Picks it up) I hope that wont work.
Monica: No its umm, more like a wrap. Okay so uh, Im gonna go guys.
Monica: I guess you can get back to deciding on what to get me for a present! (Runs out.)
Rachel: (To Phoebe, after Monicas gone) We have to get her a present?!
Cassie: Thanks for letting me stay here! I mean Monicas place was nice, but her fiancee sure stares a lot.
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, its Monicas bridal shower and Phoebe is passing out some finger food.]
Rachel: Well, I dont know. I called all the people in Monicas phone book and these are the only ones who could show up on 24 hours notice.
Rachel: (to her) Hi! Im Rachel. This is Phoebe. Im the maid of honor. How do you know Monica?
Woman: So, what time is Monica supposed to get here?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is standing at the counter as Monica enters carrying a tray.]
Monica: Okay, we have a lot of options here, a number of prototypes for you to try on.
Monica: Yeah! Okay, this one is a mushroom cap. (Points to it.) Umm, this one is made of bologna. (Points.)
Monica: Oh, just until the glue dries.
Monica: (to a whole group) Now, these are-are more realistic, but perishable.
Monica: Okay? (To a different group) Over here we have pink suede, which is nice. But umm, if it gets wet then you know its gonna shrink.
Monica: I also, did a little something in fur. But umm, thats really just for me. (Rubs it against her cheek.) Okay. So, why dont you go into your room and try these on and well seeget a better idea of whats gonna work.
Monica: Toothpick?
Monica: What are you trying on now?
Monica: And?
Monica: Joey!
Monica: What?! Which one?!
[Scene: outside Phoebe's apartment, Monica is knocking on the door.]
Monica: Phoebe! Rachel! Its Monica! I wonder what you could possibly need me for on such short notice! (She bursts into the apartment to find only Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch.) Oh.
Rachel: Oh Monica, we are so sorry.
Monica: For what?
Monica: You al-you already had it?
Monica: Well no wait a minute thats not true! No, what did, that was really sweet. And it kinda works out for the best.
Monica: Well now, I get to spend my shower with the only people I really love! I mean, I get all those presents (Motions to the pile in the corner) without having to talk to people I dont even like!
(Suddenly, everyone stands up and comes out of hiding. All of them are glaring at Monica.)
Rachel: Monica.
Monica: Its okay, cause y'know what? You dont really need me for the business.
Phoebe: Oh, you're so screwed. (Monica goes into the guest room)
Monica: (Remotely turning off the television) okay, Pheebs, theyre gone.
MONICA: That was you?
Monica: Listen, we dont have to make that a guest room, we can think of something to do with the room together.
MONICA: No. But I remember people telling me about it.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the group is coming back from the roof.]
(They go open the door and reveal Monica being spun around on the floor polisher and getting the cord wrapped around her legs.)
MONICA: Yeah, I'll be fine.� You know, maybe I'll stay here and practice the art of seduction.
[Monica enters.]
Monica: See if he has ice.
MONICA: So your first whole weekend without Ben, what're you guys gonna do?
Monica: Vividly.
Monica: Well, at least you have one thing to be happy about. That jerk Gavin from your office didn't show up (Gavin shows up at the balcony windows).
MONICA: Oh, absolutely. Yeah, you know I'm not even thinking about that thing that we're not supposed to think about.
Monica: Okay, but if we don't get this house, she's stil gonna show up wherever we go! I mean, at least if she's here, it eliminates the element of suprise. I mean, never again will you have to hear the three words that make your balls jump back up inside your body. (She shows this with her index finger, mimicking it pushing something up)
Monica: Chandler! (Knocks on the door.) Chandler! I just figured out who you are!
Phoebe: (with her mouthful) Hi Monica.
[Scene: The hospital, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are in the waiting room, waiting for Carol and Susan to arrive.]
Monica: Oh Joey, Melanie called, said she's gonna be late.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is handing out copies of her book to the gang.]
Monica: That's Dudley Moore. I said I wanted it like Demi Moore.
[Monica picks up the bag, while Ross closes the door and hits Monica with his tail. They walk into the living room, and Monica empties the bag.]
MONICA: Uh, wait, backstage?
Monica: Oh myThis is so embarrassing. Oh my God, Im never gonna get massaged again!
Monica: Thanks, that would be great. Hey, honey, wouldn't that be great?
Monica: Yeah, but Janice? That-that was like the worst breakup in history!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are eating lunch as Joey enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are still debating about how to tell Rachel that Chandlers moving in and shes moving out.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone except Joey is decorating for Christmas.]
Chandler: But come on, look at how cute and small this is! So I got it to give Monica so shed know I was okay.
MONICA: Oh my god, little Stevie Fisher? How've you been?
MONICA: Ross.
Monica: No! Rachel is meeting us here.
Monica: It is so weird, I know what I said, but uh, this morning, I was lying in bed I was, I was imagining what it would be like to say yes. (Rachel slams the magazine shut in amazement.) I know its a little sudden, and its a little rushed, and its totally not like me to do something like this, but that doesnt mean I cant. Right? I mean Im-Im crazy about Pete, and I know that we want the same things, and when I thought about saying yes, it made me really happy.
Rachel: (on phone) Hello, Mark? Hi, its Rachel Green. (listens) Oh no, dont you apologize. (listens) Yeah, Ill hold. (to Monica and Ross) He left my number at work, but he was helping his niece with her report on the pioneers.
Monica: Oh really? Okay, let's compare, shall we.
Monica: Hard 8?! We should call it easy 8!
Monica: Carol called me to thank me for the lasagna, I asked, she told me.
(Rachel, Monica, Ross and Chandler whip around for a second time, in formation.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica and Joey are sitting at the dinner table. Chandler comes from the bedroom with his suitcase.]
MONICA: You know what, I think it's cute, you trying to be more like Richard.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica has made food for Phoebe and Rachel to taste.]
Monica: Yeah, tacos! Ever since you told me that story Ive had such a craving for them.
Monica: Limited seating?! (Screechingly) I am just one tiny person!
(Everyone cheers. Monica opens the door. Bobby is obviously very depressed)
[Scene: a NYU lecture hall, the scene is continued from earlier, only Ross has dismissed the class and is now talking to Monica and Rachel.]
Monica: Ross, I cant believe youd do that!
Ross: (in a stupor) Hey Chandler. (Sees Monica.) Monica!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are sitting there and not talking to each other.]
Monica: Hey, Rach, can you give me a hand with this box?
Monica: I know. How could we have let this happen?
Monica: Okay, looks like Ross and I are captains. Okay, so um, I bunnied first so that means I get to pick first. Joey.
[Scene: Mr. Ratstatter's office. Monica is there.]
[Monica turns on the radio.]
MONICA: So Joey, why didn't you grow a moustache?
[Scene: Mr. Ratstatter's office. Monica is there.]
Phoebe: You mean whenever Monica and Chandler where like y'know doing laundry or going grocery shopping orOh! All that time Monica spent on the phone with sad Linda from camp!
Monica: Heres your key. All right, you have to christen it! Now, go out and come back in!
MONICA: Oh, and the newspaper delivery guy.
Chandler: (To Monica) Maybe we should give them some privacy.
[Scene: Rosss birthday, his car is still trapped in its spot. Now Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are at the front of the car with Monica, Rachel, and Chandler at the rear of the car.]
MONICA: Yeah. I hope she can kick his ass.
CHANDLER, MONICA, and JOEY: Hey.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the girls are all there, discussing their bad luck with men.]
Monica: (starts to cry) Oh good God, Ross! How the hell do you do it?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Carol and Susan are dropping off Ben.]
CHANDLER, MONICA, and JOEY: Hey.
Monica: About a half an hour.
MONICA: Cute.
Monica: I'm Monica Geller. I've been taking care of you.
MONICA: Ross, that is gorgeous!
MONICA: Wow.
MONICA: Remember it? What do you think this is, a freckle?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
MONICA: Oh, wait a minute honey.
Monica: Well then somebodys snoozing. Joey, not that this uh should affect you at all, but if you were to pick me, I was planning on wearing a sequined dress, cut down to here. (Points to her stomach just above her belly button.)
MONICA: Guys, we bought the tickets.
Joey: Fine. (looks around, then focuses on Monica)
Monica: Youre really sticking with the shell necklace huh? (Points to necklace of shells hes wearing.)
MONICA: Hi.
[Monica and Ross enter.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler enters clutching his phone.]
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas, theyre getting ready to leave for the party.]
MONICA: I hope she's OK.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is watching football, and its actually the right game Green Bay at Detroit (although not this years), as Monica is getting everything ready.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is just getting off of the intercom and turns off the TV which is still in the SAP mode.]
MONICA: You're meeting Richard?
Monica: (on phone) Michelle, I only beeped in so I could hear my message. I mean that's allowed. Yeah-huh! I mean look, yeah, you know what I would really appreciate it if you didn't tell your Dad about. What do you mean, you're not comfortable with this? Come on we're friends!! (Michelle hangs up) That bitch always hated me. I'm calling her back.
MONICA: Ross, the heat!
MONICA: Well put it back.
Phoebe: No. (Monica brushes Coma Guy's hair in the other direction) No! No! ...So, um, do you think he's doing any better than he was this morning?
Monica: (To Emma) Bouncy baby, Bouncy baby, Ooh baby baby, Ooh baby baby, Ooh baby baby. (Emma stops crying and falls asleep)
Monica: Hey, Rach. How was it with your friends? (She and Phoebe scream.) Okay! How would you like some Tiki Death Punch? (She pours the contents of the blender into some glasses.)
[Scene: The casino floor, Chandler and Monica are walking through it.]
Monica: Listen umm, Ive been thinking, its not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that.
MONICA: Well, he told me he was going out with the guys, I just didn't know that you were the guys.
MONICA: Whatever.
MONICA: Ross.
(He goes over and opens the door to reveal Monica holding a plate of cookies and a fan to blow the smell across the hall.)