words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is at the kitchen table and Chandler is in the living room.]
Monica: Do you realize that four weeks from today were getting married? Four weeks baby!! Four weeks!!!
Monica: Theres still so much to do. Have you written your vows yet?
Monica: Sweetie, you know I have no sense of humor when it comes to the wedding.
Monica: No! But I know exactly what Im going to say.
Monica: (handing him a pad of paper and a pen) Lets just do it right now. Okay? It wont be hard. Just say whats in your heart. (She goes back, sits down, and starts feverishly writing.)
Chandler: (writing) Monica, there are no words (To Joey and Ross) There are no words! This should not be this hard!
Chandler: Im so pathetic! Monica knows what she wants to say! You shouldve seen her. Writing, writing, writing!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica has hit a writers block as Rachel and Phoebe enter.]
Rachel: Monica what?
Monica: You have to help me! Im supposed to be writing my vows and all I have is this! (Shows them what shes been working on.)
Monica: Thank you.
Monica: Those are my eyes! Those are my breasts. (Points.)
Phoebe: Oh! Yeah! (Monica glares at her.)
Ross: Well, why dont you just start with something simple. Like umm, Monica from the moment I met you, I knew I loved you.
[Flashback to when Chandler was introduced to Monica in The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks.]
Fat Monica: Hi, I'm Ross's little sister.
[Flashback to The One With The Jellyfish, Chandler and Monica are lying on the beach.]
Monica: Ennnh.
Monica: Ooh, are we allowed to lie in the vows?!
[Flashback to The One With Phoebe's Uterus, Monica is teaching Chandler how to turn a woman on. They're in Monica and Rachel's apartment and Monica has just drawn a diagram of a woman.]
Monica: Now everybody knows the basic erogenous zones. (She starts labelling them) You got one, two three, four (Chandler is shocked to find out theres more than three), five, six, and seven!
Monica: Its kind of an important one!
Monica: All right. Umm, you could uh start out with a little 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, 3, 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, (Rachel starts getting worked up) 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7 7.. 7 7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7 (mouths 7)! (They both lean back on the couch satisfied.)
Joey: Oh, I got it! How about saying something like, "Monica
Chandler: (writing) Monica
[This starts a series of flashbacks beginning with Monica and Chandler in the waiting room in The One With the Birth.]
Monica: No fair. I don't even have one. How come they get two?
Monica: Oh yeah? When?
Monica: Why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Monica: Ok, hypothetically, why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Monica: What is it? Is there something fundamentally unmarriable about me?
Monica: Well?
Monica: (Comes up for below the covers and looks concerned.) Do you think he knew I was here? (Chandler quickly looks at Monica not knowing what to say.)
[Cut to Chandler opening the door to his and Joeys apartment to reveal Monica standing there with a turkey on her head in The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks.]
Monica: Wait, wait, wait! (She puts a Shriner's hat on the turkey.)
Chandler: Look, Monica
Monica: Look! (She puts a big, yellow pair of sunglasses on the bird.)
Monica: I bet this will work! (She starts dancing and Chandler cracks up.)
(Monica stops suddenly and turns around slowly.)
Monica: What?
Monica: You said you loved me! I can't believe this!
Monica: Yes, you did!
Monica: You love me!
(Joey walks in and sees Monica. He freaks out and runs back into the hallway, screaming.)
[Cut to Chandler trying to hint to Monica that he wanted to move in with her in The One After Vegas.]
Monica: Then all your stuff would be here.
Monica: Then youd be going back and forth all the time, I mean it doesnt make any sense.
[Cut to Chandler entering his and Monicas apartment alight with a thousand candles in The One With The Proposal.]
(He walks dejectedly into his apartment to find it lit with about a thousand candles and Monica standing in the living room.)
Monica: You wanted it to be a surprise.
(Monica gets down on one knee.)
Monica: Chandler In all my life I never thought I would be so lucky. (Starting to cry.) As to fall in love with my best my best Theres a reason why girls dont do this!
Chandler: Okay! (He joins her on one knee) Okay! Okay! I'll do it! Oh God, I thought (Starting to cry, pauses) Wait a minute, I-I can do this. (Pause) I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, (Pause) you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. (Starting to cry again.) And if youll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. (Pause as he gets out the ring.) Monica, will you marry me?
Monica: Yes.
Monica: Come in! Come in! (Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe burst through the door.) Were engaged!!!
Joey: How is "Monica, I love your sweet ass," inappropriate?
Ross: Hows Monica coming along with her vows?
[Flashback to Joey interrupting a bath Monica and Chandler are sharing in The One With All The Kissing. Monica dives underwater as Joey opens the door.]
(Monica quickly dives under the water as Joey enters. He looks a little shocked at what Chandler's doing.)
(Joey leaves and Monica comes up for air.)
Monica: Chicken? I could eat some chicken.
(Monica goes back underwater as Joey re-enters.)
Chandler: Yeah, can I get a 3-piece, some cole slaw, some beans, and a Coke(Yelps in pain as Monica grabs him underwater)Diet Coke.
[This starts a series of flashbacks starting with Monica and Chandler forcing Joey to keep his new found knowledge of their secret relationship in Monicas bedroom in The One With All the Kips.]
Joey: (To Chandler) You?! (To Monica) And-and you?!
Monica: Yes, but you cannot tell anyone! No one knows!
Monica: Please? Please?! We just don't want to deal with telling everyone, okay? Just promise you won't tell.
[Cut to Rachel listening to a phone conversation between Chandler and Monica in The One With All the Resolutions.]
Monica: (on phone) I can't wait to be with you! I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
Monica: (on phone) Awww, y'know what your nickname is, Mr. Big
[Cut to Phoebe in Rosss new apartment looking at Monica and Chandler and what theyre about to do in The One Where Everybody Finds Out.]
Phoebe: (looking out the window) Oh, look! There's Monica and Chandler! (Starts yelling.) Hey! Hey, you guys! Hey! (Chandler and Monica start taking each other's clothes off.) Ohh!! Ohh! Ahh-ahhh!!
Phoebe: (screaming) Ahhh!! Chandler and Monica!! Chandler and Monica!!
Phoebe: CHANDLER AND MONICA!!!!
[Cut to later in that episode in Central Perk, a meeting with Phoebe, Rachel, and Joey where they discuss Chandler and Monica.]
[Cut to later in that episode. Rachel and Phoebe are going to a movie from Monica and Chandlers, and as Phoebe walks by Chandler she pinches him on the butt and exits.]
Monica: Bye!
Monica: Actually, I did!
Monica: Ohhh, oh my God! Oh my God! She knows about us!
[Cut to later in that episode. Monica and Chandler are confronting Joey in his apartment about Phoebes knowledge.]
Monica: Them?! Who's them?
Monica: Joey!
Monica: Oh man, they think they are so slick messing with us! But see they don't know that we know that they know! So
[Cut to later in that episode. Phoebe is telling Rachel in Monica and Chandlers that Chandler wants to make a date with Phoebe.]
[Cut to later in that episode. Chandler is in his bathroom with Monica, and hes panicking on how far Phoebe is pushing him.]
Monica: She's bluffing!
Monica: You go back out there and you seduce her till she cracks!
Monica: Of course.
[Cut back to the living room. Chandler slowly exits the bathroom and gets pushed from behind by Monica and sees Phoebe closing the apartment door.]
Chandler: Because I'm in love with Monica!!
(Monica comes out of the bathroom like a bolt, and Rachel and Joey both enter.)
Chandler: Love her! That's right, I LOVE HER!!! I love her!! (They walk together and hug.) I love you, Monica.
Monica: I love you too Chandler. (They kiss.)
Monica: Well actually, Ross doesn't.
Monica: Oh, that's Nana, right there in the middle. (Reads the back) 'Me and the gang at Java Joe's'.
Rachel: Wow, Monica, you look just like your grandmother. How old was she there?
Monica: Let's see, 1939... yeah, 24, 25?
Joey: Ooh, look-look-look-look-look! I got Monica naked!
[Cut back to Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are entering.]
Monica: Hey, you guys!
Monica: Oh thats so sweet.
Monica: Yeah, I dont hear Chandlers and he doesnt hear mine.
(They spilt into their sexes and the girls read Monicas and the guys read Chandlers. The girls gasp and groan and the guys laugh hysterically.
Phoebe: (To Monica) Oh, thats beautiful.
Rachel: (To Monica) Monica, will-will you marry me?
Monica: Chandler!!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Ross and Joey are reading Chandlers new vows.]
Chandler: I stole Monicas and changed the name.
Joey and Monica: Are you all right?
Monica: He had to go, theres a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard.
(Joey and Monica rush over to her.)
Monica: I think youre done.
[Cut to Monica and Rachels apartment, all are there.]
Monica: Ohh, everybody at the restaurant still hates me.
Chandler: Love her! That's right, I LOVE HER!!! I love her!! (They walk together and hug.) I love you, Monica.
RACHEL: Wow, I am so glad I'm not Monica right now.
Monica: All right look, if I take Chandler out of the running will you be able to focus?
Chandler: (To Monica) Now all you have to do is just get through a little bit more, okay? Then we can put you in bed, okay? Just smile and dont talk to anyone.
Monica: Run, Marcel, run! Run, Marcel! (Marcel runs off and Luisa runs after him. Monica goes to check up on Phoebe) Are you okay?
[Scene: Allesandros, Monica is cooking.]
Monica: I think I need a drink.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that morning. The porn is still on, there are three women getting ready to shave the chest of some guy. Joey and Chandler are wondering why that guy is letting them shave his chest, and Monica and Rachel are eating breakfast at the foosball table.]
Monica: Hi!
Monica: Okay.
Monica: Hi.
Monica: Oh. Why didnt you take her?
Monica: Do you love her?
Monica: You love her!
Monica: (On the phone) Hello? No, he's not here. Yeah, this is his wife. Yeah, well, it came as quite a shock to me too. I guess I should have known. Yeah, I mean, he just kept making me watch Moulin Rouge.
[Scene: The Moondance Diner, Rachel is talking to Monica about her job.]
Monica: Oh good, Im glad thats catching on.
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Joey is entering]
Monica: Where ya going?
Monica: And well, what did she say?
Monica: Oh, youre totally welcome! Whatd she say?
Monica: You know!
Monica: It is not over! Youre over!
Monica: (Entering) What are you guys doing here?
Monica: Hey!
Monica: Are you sure?
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang minus Monica is there.]
(Monica hugs her goes and hugs her)
Monica: All right.
Monica: (to Ross) Honey, its not pushy, he gave her his home number.
Monica: (shyly) I dont know.
Monica: Its a globe and, a pencil sharpener.
Monica: Hello.
Monica: If-if-if we ever did what you did a man would never call.
Monica: All right. When is, when is the next flight out?
Monica: Oh.
Monica: All right, I still need a calamari and a Caesar salad.
Monica: That thing is not coming in here.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
Monica: That is an excellent excellent question. That is excellent.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is returning from a date with Josh, and when they get the door open, Rachel turns and passionately kisses Josh.]
Monica: Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not goof around with him.
Monica: Well, what kind of food is he looking for?
Monica: (to the mask) I missed you-you ugly, flat faced old freak!
[Scene: Dr. Burkes office, Tim is examining Monica.]
[Flashback to 524 - TOI Vegas, Part II] [Scene: The Gift Shop, Monica and Chandler are entering.]
Chandler: Well this is great. Yknow, those cameras were the only thing that was gonna cheer Monica up today, shes really depressed.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are playing cards at the dinner table.]
Monica: I can cook and you can take care of the money.
Monica: Um-hmm.
Monica: Why dont we just find a place for it?
Monica: Well, nows a good time. Im on my way to have my ears cut off.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are on the couch as Joey enters.]
Monica: What?! You cant shed a tear for your dead wife!! Now, I left you a note from the beyond!
Monica: What is it?! What about Pete?
Monica and Phoebe: (in unison) Thanks.
Phoebe: Hurry! Monicas gonna make you pack! Shes got jobs for everyone! Now, its too late for me, but save your selves! (The guys scramble for the door.)
Joey: (waving) Very funny Ross! Very life-like and funny. Okay. (Notices that a woman is waving back.) Oh no-no-no, I wasn't waving at you lady. (She just stares at him.) (Joey sees how beautiful she is.) Whoa, maybe I was! Hey, Monica, this totally hot girl in Ross's building is flirting with me.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Monica is busy killing Chandle and Joey at foosball.]
Monica: You know what? This is not over. We will play you again, and we will win, and you will lose, and you will beg, and we will laugh, and we will take every last dime you have, and you will hate yourselves forever.
Joey: Oh hey, no, you're not welcome. Okay, look, I hate this! You guys keep embarrassing me! (To Monica) Yesterday, Rachel found your razor in our bathroom and I didn't know what to say, so I said it was mine and-and that I was playing a woman in a play. And one thing led to another and (He puts his leg on the chair and pulls up his pants leg to reveal that he now has shaved legs.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering.]
Monica: No! Were gonna have fun. We can make fudge!
MONICA: Yeah, he's just gotta get a shot.
Video:April Twelve, Eighteen hundred, Sixty-One (Monica lights Richard's cigar butt), 4:30 A.M. on Tuesday, the United States garrison at Fort Sumter was fired upon (knock on door) it is now under bombardment by....
Monica: Well, every, every Thanksgiving um, we used to have a touch football game called the Geller Bowl.
Monica: Oh, no!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is telling Phoebe and Monica of her date.]
Monica: Emilys straight.
Monica: This is so much fun!
Monica: Ok! When I go places with high humidity, it gets a little extra body, ok?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
Monica: This totally makes sense!
[Scene: Monicas childhood bedroom (which has been turned into a gym), Monica is lying on the treadmill as Phoebe enters.]
Monica: Okay.
Monica: Two in a row! Youve got to use your tongues now! (They kiss again.)
Monica: (entering) Hey!
Monica: Oh no, she's out having drinks with Carl.
Monica: Yeah, what, do you think were stupid?
Monica: What do you say?
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up as her boss, Mr. Waltham, walks in.) Oh! Mr. Waltham, I ah really need to talk to you.
Monica: Oh, let's not tell this story.
Monica: Thanks. (Joeys still patting the burn spot) I think you got it!
(Monica turns to get the wine.� Chandler peeps through the peephole.� Joey, seeing something, peeps back.� Chandler ducks.� Monica returns with two glasses of wine.� She gives one to Joey.)
MONICA: But I thought you wanted to live by yourself.
Monica: Oh, just do it!!
Monica: Y'know when girls sleep with guys with weird things on their body, they tell their friends about it.
Monica: All right, so what do you say?
Monica: Theyre green?
Monica: My God, you cant even look at me! Can you?
Monica: Oh, good.
Monica: Can I ask you guys a question? D'you ever think that Alan is maybe.. sometimes..
Monica: I dont know!
Chandler: I gotta check out this hot girl! (He heads to the window but realizes something, stops, turns and points at Monica.) There she is! (He dances over to her and kisses her.)