words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are entering]
Monica: Hey, look at me. I'm making jam, been at it since 4 o'clock this morning.
Monica: Went down to the docks. Bet ya didn't know you could get it wholesale.
Monica: I'm going into business people. I'm sick and tired of being depressed about Richard. I needed a plan, a plan to get over my man. What's the opposite of man? Jam. (sees Joey trying some jam from the pot) Oh Joey don't! It's way to hot. (Joey realizes this and spits what he had in his mouth back into the pot.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are entering]
Rachel: (reading) 'Gone for more jars. Back later. Monica Geller.'
Monica: (entering) Hey guys.
Monica: Joey, this is for you. (gives him a jar of jam) It's blackberry curin.
Monica: Joey, take your time with that. That's my last batch.
Monica: I figured out I need to charge seventeen bucks a jar just to break even. So, I've got a new plan now. Babies.
Monica: I'm talking about me having a baby.
Monica: Yeah. The great thing about the jam plan was, I was taking control of my life. So I asked myself, what is the most important thing to me in the world and that's when I came up with the baby plan.
Monica: It took me 28 years to find one man that I wanna spend my life with, if I have to wait another 28 years then, I'll be 56 before I can have a baby, and that's just stupid.
Monica: I don't need an actual man, just a couple of his best swimmers. And there, there are places you can go to get that stuff.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is eating jam straight out of the jar, and Chandler is staring at him in amazement. Joey offers him some.]
Monica: (entering from her bedroom) Okay, sperm donor number 03815, come on down! Okay, he's 6'2", 170 pounds, and he describes himself as a male Geena Davis.
Monica: You're gonna what?
Monica: What?! Why? Why is this crazy? So this isn't the ideal way to something....
Monica: Lips moving, still talking. I mean it may not be ideal, but I'm so ready. No, I-I-I see the way Ben looks at you. It makes me ache, you know?
Monica: Okay, all right, how's this? 27. Italian-American guy. He's an actor, born in Queens. Wow, big family, seven sisters, and he's the only....boy. (they all turn and look at Joey) Oh my God, under personal comments: 'New York Knicks, rule!'
Monica: Joey, this is you!
Monica: Well, honey, it is pretty competitive. I mean I've got an actual rocket scientist here.
Monica: I think, that if you really like this guy, you should just trust him.
Phoebe: Thank you, Monica.
Monica: Oh, that's what I would do, forget mine.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering]
Monica: Hey.
Monica: To the bank.
Monica: Sperm.
Monica: Oh yeah, picked a guy, 37135.
Monica: 'Fraid so. Brown hair, green eyes...
Monica: What?
Monica: Really? Why?
Monica: Hoyt?
Monica: Really, is he a swimmer?
Monica: I like that. (Joey starts laughing) What?
Monica: We do not have one of those signs.
Monica: Two girls and a boy?
Monica: And, and, and they wear those little water wings, you know. And they're, they're running around on the deck. Then Hoyt wraps this big towel around all three of them.
Joey: Sure! (Monica gets very depressed) But hey, you know this way sounds good too.
Monica: Yeah.
Joey: Oh Monica. (goes over and hugs her, then looks at the form and stops hugging her.) Wow, this guy's an astronaut. That would've been cool, (sees Monica) for like a day. (hugs her again).
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is finishing off the last of the jam]
MONICA: Yes.
MONICA: Mom, it's OK.
MONICA: That's great.
MONICA: So, are you sorry that I told them?
MONICA: Yes.
MONICA: Oh. Well did you get it? Let me see.
RACHEL: Oh really, OK. [shows Monica her tattoo]
MONICA: What're you gonna do?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are setting the table.]
MONICA: Oh-oh, no no don't worry, I'm gonna wash it.
Monica: Okay, okay, I'm sure that Rachel came home early and picked up Emma. You go look across the hall, and I'll call her cell.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, everyone except Phoebe is there as Rachel enters carrying a magazine.]
(Janice kisses him. Monica comes out for the newspaper.}
MONICA: Art it is.
MONICA: Joey, promise me something.
Chandler: Monica says that her Maitre D. is the funniest guy she's ever met.
CHANDLER: So whaddya got there Monica?
Phoebe: Oh God, I tried everything to make myself feel better. I even tried writing a song about it... but... I can't think of anything that rhymes with AARRGGHH!! (pause) Hey Monica, I really need your help getting through this...
Monica: Because there are so many terrible sights in this world.
MONICA: Shut up.
MONICA: How do you know exactly what she's going through?
[Monica goes in the bathroom]
Monica: Do I go horseback riding in the park? Do I take classes at the New School?
MONICA: Cut it out.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is sitting between Monica and Phoebe.]
Monica: Okay, I-I d'know, you-you just- you have a quality.
MONICA: I promise you, he would definitely want you back.
Monica: Get up. Come on. Let's get some coffee.
MONICA: I was.
Monica: I can't belive it, I'm gonna be an aunt. I'm gonna have like a nephew.
MONICA: Did she leave a number?
MONICA: I'm not a baby, you're the baby.
Monica: I swear I didnt know she was a hooker! I mean whDid you let her smoke in here?
Monica: Aww thanks! God Will Im so glad that you came! You look great! You mustve lost like
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and Ross are there.]
MONICA: My brother, the PhD would like to know if there's any way to treat this orally.
MONICA: Did you like it?
Rachel: Hi! Hey, listen, can we ask you a question? When you and Monica first hooked up, was it weird going from friends to... more than that?
Phoebe: Good. (Phoebe and Mrs. Burkart go into the other room, leaving Monica with everyone staring at her.)
MONICA: I wanna watch Entertainment Tonight.
MONICA: Bite me.
MONICA: It's my TV.
MONICA: Not that, this, US. Oh my God, Ross, you-re, you're, it's jus-, you-, ever sin- you been here.
MONICA: Well, I just caught the live show.
MONICA: Oh that's great, why don't you tell mommy on me.
MONICA: Fun? Fun, you think this is fun?
MONICA: Ross, I hated you when we were kids.
MONICA: Now I love you. And not just 'cause I have to.
Monica: Because we're moving in a couple of days and it just didn't make sense.
MONICA: Yeah, thanks. You know what?
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Rachel, and Monica are hanging out.]
MONICA: Sure.
Monica: Joey, did you even interview this woman before you asked her to move in?
[Scene: The Wedding Hall, Monica and Chandler have just said "I do," and the photographer is taking the required pictures. First of Monica, Chandler, Ross and Joey.]
MONICA: So what're you gonna do?
MONICA: Ok, all right. It was an accident, I swear, all right. I was putting on my jacket, and the thing, and the lamp, and it broke.
PHOEBE: Monica.
MONICA: [sings] They won't take you to the vet.
RACHEL, MONICA, ROY, and CHIP: Bye.
MONICA: Joey.
MONICA: We, we just wanna see the end.
Monica: So I did tell you. Okay, y'know, that really isnt the thing. Umm, the thing is that, right now Im just in a place in my life where I need to focus on me. Y'know what I mean?
Monica: (on machine) "Hi, it's Monica. I'm just checking in 'cause I got this message from you and I didn't know if it was old or new or what. So, I'm just checkin'. So let me know, or don't, whatever. I'm breezy."
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's kitchen, Chandler has a jug of milk in his hands and decides to make some warm milk. He opens up the cabinet to get a pot and manages to knock several other pots onto the floor making a lot of noise.]
Monica: No-no, wait! Just let me finish, okay? This isnt something that we just, we just impulsively decided in-in Vegas, this is something we both really want. And it is going to happen.
Monica: Nononononono. Think who you're dealing with here. I mean, I'm not like you. I-I can't even stand in front of a tap class.
Monica: Bedsprings, unmistakable!
[Monica pulls out a bag full of airline bottles of liquor.]
MONICA: Ya know, I was thinking. Ya know how we always stay at your apartment? Well, I thought maybe tonight we'd stay at my place.
MONICA: Shut up, I'm happy.
MONICA: Not a lot, Phoebe's kidding, Phoebe's crazy.
Monica: Not necessarily...
MONICA: [looking at some kind of glass sculpture thing] Wow Joey, this is, uhh...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel are returning.]
Monica: Who's Gladys? (Phoebe shows her a horrific painting with a half-a-body girl dummy coming out of the frame. Monica's frightened and she gasps.) Oh! What a tragic loss!
Monica: How hammered are you? Huh? These, these are Joeys sisters.
[Scene: The movie set. Monica and Rachel are saying goodbye to Jean-Claude]
MONICA: Well yeah.
MONICA: You really ok with it?
MONICA: Oh, yay. Ok about that two.
Monica: Okay Marjorie, hit it.
Ross: Well, I'm gonna go get ready, (Gives Monica the fist thing.) for my date tonight, so ah, I'll just_ head.
MONICA: But you've only slept with two people.
MONICA: Well, it just seems like a really small number.
Phoebe: (To Joey) You ate meat! (Joey is shocked) (To Chandler and Monica) You had sex! (Theyre shocked.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey and Rachel are sitting there and Monica walks in.]
MONICA: I know. I just can't find...
RICHARD: Monica.
MONICA: There's only one.
MONICA: You need one too?
MONICA: No.
MONICA: Yeah.
Monica: Because... I'm Monica Geller. It was my credit card you were using.
Monica: Ill take care of it.
MONICA: Dad, I'm the twinkie.
MONICA: Why?
MONICA: Wait, he's not here yet.
MONICA: Alright.
MONICA: Blow drying what, you have no hair.
[Monica enters from her bedroom.]