words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are entering]
Monica: Hey, look at me. I'm making jam, been at it since 4 o'clock this morning.
Monica: Went down to the docks. Bet ya didn't know you could get it wholesale.
Monica: I'm going into business people. I'm sick and tired of being depressed about Richard. I needed a plan, a plan to get over my man. What's the opposite of man? Jam. (sees Joey trying some jam from the pot) Oh Joey don't! It's way to hot. (Joey realizes this and spits what he had in his mouth back into the pot.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are entering]
Rachel: (reading) 'Gone for more jars. Back later. Monica Geller.'
Monica: (entering) Hey guys.
Monica: Joey, this is for you. (gives him a jar of jam) It's blackberry curin.
Monica: Joey, take your time with that. That's my last batch.
Monica: I figured out I need to charge seventeen bucks a jar just to break even. So, I've got a new plan now. Babies.
Monica: I'm talking about me having a baby.
Monica: Yeah. The great thing about the jam plan was, I was taking control of my life. So I asked myself, what is the most important thing to me in the world and that's when I came up with the baby plan.
Monica: It took me 28 years to find one man that I wanna spend my life with, if I have to wait another 28 years then, I'll be 56 before I can have a baby, and that's just stupid.
Monica: I don't need an actual man, just a couple of his best swimmers. And there, there are places you can go to get that stuff.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is eating jam straight out of the jar, and Chandler is staring at him in amazement. Joey offers him some.]
Monica: (entering from her bedroom) Okay, sperm donor number 03815, come on down! Okay, he's 6'2", 170 pounds, and he describes himself as a male Geena Davis.
Monica: You're gonna what?
Monica: What?! Why? Why is this crazy? So this isn't the ideal way to something....
Monica: Lips moving, still talking. I mean it may not be ideal, but I'm so ready. No, I-I-I see the way Ben looks at you. It makes me ache, you know?
Monica: Okay, all right, how's this? 27. Italian-American guy. He's an actor, born in Queens. Wow, big family, seven sisters, and he's the only....boy. (they all turn and look at Joey) Oh my God, under personal comments: 'New York Knicks, rule!'
Monica: Joey, this is you!
Monica: Well, honey, it is pretty competitive. I mean I've got an actual rocket scientist here.
Monica: I think, that if you really like this guy, you should just trust him.
Phoebe: Thank you, Monica.
Monica: Oh, that's what I would do, forget mine.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering]
Monica: Hey.
Monica: To the bank.
Monica: Sperm.
Monica: Oh yeah, picked a guy, 37135.
Monica: 'Fraid so. Brown hair, green eyes...
Monica: What?
Monica: Really? Why?
Monica: Hoyt?
Monica: Really, is he a swimmer?
Monica: I like that. (Joey starts laughing) What?
Monica: We do not have one of those signs.
Monica: Two girls and a boy?
Monica: And, and, and they wear those little water wings, you know. And they're, they're running around on the deck. Then Hoyt wraps this big towel around all three of them.
Joey: Sure! (Monica gets very depressed) But hey, you know this way sounds good too.
Monica: Yeah.
Joey: Oh Monica. (goes over and hugs her, then looks at the form and stops hugging her.) Wow, this guy's an astronaut. That would've been cool, (sees Monica) for like a day. (hugs her again).
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is finishing off the last of the jam]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica carries a box out of Rachels room.]
Monica: No! (They both laugh.) Oyster?
MONICA: Is your tongue swelling up?
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Okay, you have to switch with me! Monica is driving me crazy!
Monica: Why are so mad at him?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, everyone but Monica is there playing Monopoly.]
(He and Monica laugh)
Monica: Im gonna go to the bathroom, maybe Ill see you there in a bit?
(She picks up a charred piece of plastic that once was the Foster puppets, and starts to break down. Monica goes over and comforts her.)
Monica: Oh my God! (She goes to hug him, stops short, and hits him on the shoulder.) Where the hell have you been?!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there as Rachel enters.]
Monica: Whats the charity?
Janine: (to Monica and Rachel) Bye.
Chandler: Well, why dont you tell her to stop being silly! (Monica mocks him and he joins in.)
Monica: Oh, I like Elizabeth.
Monica: Hey!
Monica: Chandler, do you think we talk about our relationship enough?
RICHARD: Yeah, if I have to. Monica, I don't wanna lose you, so if I have to do it all over again, then I will.
Monica: Yeah!
Monica: Well...Id better get going.
Monica: Our guys a great dancer!
Monica: Youre not supposed to look!
Monica: All right relax Mr. Ive Had Sex Four Times!
Monica: (To Chandler) Do you want our guy to be your guy?
Monica: Ooh! I'm sorry! I think, I THINK, that may have missed the table!
Monica: Oh my God! Are-are you crying?
Monica: Yes. Well I got his machine and I left a message. But it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, because you know it was like a casual, breezy message. It was breezy! Oh God, what if it wasn't breezy?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica has just opened the door for Ross who is costumed as an Armadillo. Ben is standing next to her.]
Monica: Does Ralph mumble when youre not paying attention?
The Museum Official: (on phone) Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. Im calling for Monica Geller. I want to let her know that there was a cancellation and if shes still interested in having the Bing-Geller wedding at our facility, it is available (Chandler runs to answer the phone.)
Monica: I blame London.
Monica: Hey! How did it go with Elizabeth?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
Monica: And slept with the professor.
Monica: Uh, would you stop it with that already?!
MONICA: Because they made me.
Monica: I cant promise anything. (She starts to dig in.)
Kara: Nice to meet you Monica. Bing! (Slaps Chandler on his butt.)
Monica: In 1981 you were 13!
Monica: Hey!
Monica: Hey!
MONICA: DON'T...be too long with the phone.
Monica: Eldad, this is Rachel.
Chandler: There you go! There you are! (Rachel stares at Monica and Chandler)
Monica: Oop, your cake is ready!
Monica: No, Ross, we do not hate Emily. We-we just, we just think that you're having to sacrifice a whole lot to make her happy.
Monica: No! You cant do that!
Monica: Oh my God, oh my God. (on intercom) Call me on the phone!
Monica: Thats right Patrick, bye-bye!
Monica: Hes great! I mean we have such a good time together! Hes so funny, and sooo sweet, and Im not attracted to him at all!!
Rachel: (as she's being dragged) What are you? Monica!! Stop it!! Oh my God! Stop it! (Monica drags her totally onto the floor and on her back.)
Monica: Oh God! Hes gonna come by and borrow some candles for his big date!
Ross: You go get em. (to Monica) What did I do to you? Did I hurt you in some way?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Rachel, Chandler, and Phoebe are there.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, (And thats the last time for that line, no more Chandler and Joeys or Monica and Rachels, ever!) Joey and Ross are carrying the last table of Rachels. Rachel follows slowly, but is stopped by Monica.]
Phoebe: (looks at Monica) Hey, yknow what might cheer you up?
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Chandler and Monica are eating Monicas dinner.]
Monica: Weeeell, it's rum, and-
Monica: Well at least, Im going to mute it.
Monica: Chandler.
Chandler: Guys, I'd listen to her. The vein is bigger than I've ever seen it. (Monica looks at Chandler)
Chandler: Gap commercial. (To Monica) So did you book them? Did you call?
Chandler: So did Monica tell you about this great band called the Swing Kings that were trying to get to play at the wedding?
Monica: What?
Monica: I will.
Monica: Yes.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, they are both getting undressed.]
Monica: No, Ill do it. You just stick to your job.
Monica: That's your call.
[Scene: Dr. Burkes office, Rachel and Monica are waiting as the doctor arrives.]
Monica: No really, they're OK.
Monica: Oh-oh, no no don't worry, I'm gonna wash it.
Monica: Well, what happened?
Monica: Was it...
Monica: Were supposed to meet my parents in 15 minutes.
Monica: (startled) Ahh! Arent you dressed yet?
[Scene: Rachels Old Bedroom, Continued from earlier. Monica enters the room.]
Monica: What are peanut butter fingers?!
Monica: Ok, for my next song I think I�ll sing something a little more upbeat. All right? Oh, how about the PointerSisters �I am so excited�. And make it bouncy!
Phoebe: Okay. Oh umm, Chandler, Monica is looking for you.
Monica: Did anybody else feel they just wanted to peel the skin off their body, to have something else to do?
Phoebe: Monica, leave him alone!
Monica: (picking up the book) Chicken Soup for the Soul?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is trying to comfort Chandler. Joey is absent.]
Monica: Oh, we used to drive each other crazy playing the shadow game.
Monica: You just put an empty carton back in the fridge!
Monica: Uhm, we just wanna give you a heads-up. Bill and Colleen hate us.
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up.)
Monica: You sold me out.
Monica: You had no right to go out with him.
Monica: (as Rachel) (Revealing her anger to point at her best friend) We both do that!
Monica: Fine!
(Phoebe grabs each of them by an ear.) Monica and Rachel: Ow! Ow! Ow!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is on the phone, Rachel and Monica are sitting in the kitchen.]
Monica: This is so typical. Y'know, we give, and we give, and we give. And then- we just get nothing back! And then one day, y'know, it's just, you wake up, and "See you around!" Let's go, Phoebe.
Monica: A small puff of air, now come on!
Monica: Wh?! What about my allergies?!
Monica: (laughs sarcastically) Rachel is not going to pick your stupid guy.
Chandler: (smiling cheekily) I do! Want a hint? huh? "I do" (Monica looks confused, so Chandler repeats) "I do".
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, the gang is watching Joeys debut on Days.]