words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey sits at a table and Chandler and Monica enter.]
Monica: What do you do with your money now?
Monica: Joe... Emus are birds. You raise them for meat.
Joey: (laughs) Yeah! Right! (points at Monica) People eat birds... Bird meat... Now do they just fly into your mouth or you go to... you go to a restaurant and you say: "Excuse me, I'll have a bucket of fried bird." (laughs again) Or... or maybe just a wing or... (realises...)
Monica: Joey, I think you should consider something a little less risky. I mean, I think in this market, real estate is your best investment.The Fed. just lowered the rates and the interest on your mortgage is totally deductible. (looks at Chandler) That's right, I know some stuff!
Monica: (very excited) Oh, and you know who's selling a great apartment? Richard!
Chandler: (imitating Monica) Oh, and you know whose knowledge of her ex-boyfriend is shocking? Monica!
Monica: My dad told me. They play golf together.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Rachel and Monica are sitting at the dinner table and Phoebe enters, knocking on the door.]
Rachel and Monica: Hey!
Monica: Wow, the boyfriend's parents! That's a big step.
Monica: They just gonna love you, just be yourself.
Phoebe: Okay, so... allright... Which dress? (she holds up two 'Phoebe' dresses, Rachel and Monica look at them... taking their time, don't wanting to hurt Phoebe) You can say "neither".
Rachel and Monica: Oh God, neither!
Monica: I'm sorry honey, but we're gonna take you shopping. It's gonna be fine.
Monica: You went out with Wallis Pincer?
Monica: I knew you didn't get a 1400!
Monica: (Monica looks at Rachel in disbelief) She said WHAT?
Phoebe: (speaking louder and articulating) That's she's like the daughter she never had. (Phoebe points at her ears) Listen! (Monica looks at Phoebe in a duh! way)
Chandler: We're not gonna have this conversation again... Look at this place. Why am I so intimidated by this guy? Pretentious art, this huge macho couch. When we know all he does is sit around all day crying about losing Monica to a real man! (laughs) You don't think he's here, do you? (Joey looks around)
Joey: Ooh! A tape with a girls name on it. It's probably a sex tape... (realises) Wait a minute... This says Monica... (looks around) And this is Richard's apartment... (realises some more)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Only Chandler is there with the videotape in his hands, standing in front of the TV set.]
Joey: You don't wanna see what I just saw! (at this moment Monica comes home, and sees Chandler flat on his back on the floor and Joey pinning him down)
Monica: What are you guys doing? (Monica hears the moaning coming from the TV and looks at it) Oh my God, is that Richard? (It only takes a split second for Joey to realise, he pulls Monica down by her jacket, and she falls, face down next to Chandler. Chandler gets up a bit, and Joey quickly covers Chandler's eyes with his hand.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica switches off the VCR. Joey and Chandler are behind the couch.]
Monica: So you stole that tape from Richard's apartment?
Monica: That tape was never meant to be seen by... (pauses) Joey I would feel more comfortable if I was having this conversation in private.
Joey: (laughs) Monica, look... I don't think you and I have any secrets anymore... (Monica keeps looking at Joey) Not ready to joke about it yet, okay, I see you later. (Joey walks out)
Monica: Why in the world would you take this tape and and why would you watch it?
Monica: Is all this about you not being able to grow a moustache?
Monica: Isn't that sad? I mean, can you see how pathetic that is? You shouldn't be jealous. You should feel bad for him.
Monica: Chandler, this is not our problem. We've got each other. That's all that matters.
Monica: Cowboy boots? I've never worn cowboy boots in my whole life! (she turns on the video again)
Monica: THAT'S NOT ME!
Monica: That bastard taped over me! (Chandler's expression changes)
Monica: I-It's just so insulting! Big spring for a new blank tape, Doctor!
Rachel: Shake it! (Phoebe, Mike, Chandler, Monica and Joey step in)
Monica: Yknow what? I-I think that umm, I dont feel like going to The Plaza.
Monica: Because then I dont have to!
Monica: Rachel would be Phoebes, I would be Rachels, that way we all get to do it once and no one would get upset.
Monica: Yeah thats right.
Monica: Aw, sometimes. Always, actually.
Monica: Im really not deciding!
Monica: Something went wrong with Underdog, and they couldn't get his head to inflate. So anyway, um, his head is like flopping down Broadway, right, and I'm just thinking... how inappropriate this is. Um, I've got something in my eye, uh, Joey, could we check it in the light, please?
Monica: Shes my favorite character on DOOL.
Rachel: Ohh! No way Phoebe! I want to be Monicas!
Ross: What is Monicas biggest pet peeve?
Monica: I made you a surprise.
Monica: She was like 30, dark hair, attractive.
Monica: Why?
Monica: What are you doing?
Monica: Oh my God yes! Who is she?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
Chandler: Monica and I are engaged.
Monica: Did you break up with her?
Monica: Fat?!
Monica: Well, apparently she does.
Monica: You broke up with a girl because she was fat?!
Monica: No, its more like a (sarcastically) good luck.
Monica: I wanted it so bad! (Pause) Wanna go pack?
Monica: You-youre gonna have to put your foot down?
Monica: Okay, well, why don't we all meet upstairs in an hour?
Monica: Youre Lewis Posin.
Monica: Its harder for me! I have those four other women to compete with!
(As hes talking Monica notices someone familiar has just entered the restaurant. Lets see; I seem to remember him driving a Ferrari in Hawaii solving crimes as a private investigator and as a certain eye doctor in more recent times.)
Joey: Were now in the ceremony, Monica is about to say, "I do" when her drunk uncle starts yelling. What do you do? Go!
Monica: Lets take a walk. (They start to leave.) Yknow maybe you should consider writing for Talking Out of Your Ass magazine! (They exit.)
Monica: I need a few more things to make the margaritas. Uhh, I need some salt, some margarita mix, and tequila.
Monica: Its pretty clear.
[Pete enters with his entourage all pumped up, and Ross and Monica are the only ones who stand up and cheer.]
(Monica gasps and holds her forehead. Phoebe, Rachel and Ross pull back their heads)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is pacing, waiting for Chandler to return. Chandler enters.]
Monica: Are you gonna break up with me if I get fat again?
Monica: All right, I I have to ask.
Monica: Why dont you just stop doing stupid things? Then you wouldnt have to apologize.
Monica: Well Thats not the only time this was an issue. You remember when umm, you spent Thanksgiving with us? You called me fat.
Monica: How?
Monica: Keep going.
Monica: I love you. (They hug and kiss.)
Monica: Im not your best friend?
Monica: (entering) Hey, whats going on?
Phoebe: Yknow Rach, I think that, I think you should be Monicas made of honor.
Chandler: (looks afraid, but at the same time, knows she's right) Well, we have to do something. We can't have her living next door. (Janice's laughs loudly outside) Oh, that does it too. (Motions with his index finger like Monica did)
Monica: Y'know what? Y'know when I said that I want you to deal with this relationship stuff all on your own? Well, you're not ready for that.
Monica: Really? Okay, so why dont you tell me what happened to Ross Junior year at Disneyland?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Joey enter having just woken up.]
Monica: Kinda. (She hugs Phoebe and looks out the window. She moves closer to it to get a better look.) Oh my God!
[Cut to Central Perk, Fat Monica and Rachel are on the couch.]
Monica: I hear ya. Excuse me for just a second! (Gets up and heads for the bathroom as that annoying Gotta-win-at-all-costs-super-competitive thing kicks in again.)
Monica: (gives her a look) Gee, I dont know Rach. Order up!! I got a Yentel soup, a James Beans, and a Howdy hold the Dowdy!
Monica: She sent the chicken back again?!
Monica: Im fine.
Monica: Oh Uh
Monica: Well, she saw the ring.
Monica: Okay, Rachel, you wanna put the marshmellows in concentric circles.
Monica: Huh?
Monica: Oh my God, shes not gonna like the chicken that night either is she?!
Monica: Really?
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Phoebe enters with a paper turkey.]
Monica: Its not like, I havent any opportunities. I mean, yknow, Im just waiting for the perfect guy. Im seeing this guy Roger, all right? Hes not perfect, but umm, I think maybe I should just get it over with. Yknow, give him my flower.
MONICA: How many perfectly fine women are you gonna reject over the most superficial insignificant things?
Monica: Is that all?
Monica: Well now, I get to spend my shower with the only people I really love! I mean, I get all those presents (Motions to the pile in the corner) without having to talk to people I dont even like!
Monica: He might still show up.
Monica: Umm, excuse me, we switched apartments. You cant eat are food anymore, that-that gravy train had ended.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is on her dinner date with Joshua.]
Monica: Its actually going to be just family.
Monica: Okay. Could the waiters gather around to hear tonights specials? Okay, first there is a Chilean Sea Bass prepared with a Mango relish on a bagWhy is nobody writing these down?
Monica: Oh my God, Joey, that is such a great tip.
Monica: Why is this car in my bedroom?
Monica: What are we gonna do?
Chandler: (To Monica) Did she see us yet? Did she see us?
Monica: Janice, what umm, what are you doing here?
Monica: Absolutely! (He goes to kiss her, but she stops him and rubs his head and says...) Now get out of here you!! (Pete leaves) (to the gang) Okay, Im running out of places I can touch him! Look, is there something wrong with me? I mean why am I only attracted to guys where theres no future? Either theyre too old, or theyre too young, and then theres Pete whos-whos crazy about me, and whos absolutely perfect for me, and theres like zip going on! I mean, seriously, does it sound like somethings wrong with me?!
Monica: I never stop thinking about it.
Monica: Oh my God! Oh my God! You have to go!
Monica: Thats right. Thats right. And that is why you cant stay here tonight. And probably why you shouldnt come to the wedding.
Monica: Because Chandler still has feelings for you!
Monica: We were, we were just in the storage area and we saw this really creepy man!
Monica: Y'know what? After you're with this woman for like ten minutes, you forget all that. I mean, she is this astounding person, with this, with this amazing spirit.
MONICA: Oh, God forbid.
[Cut to Monica and Chandlers, Rachel is entering.]
Monica: 'Cause you invited your assistant.
(They hug, and Richard notices a stocking stuck to Monicas back, which he removes for her.)
Monica: Uh-oh! Uh-oh!
Monica: That's my pie!
Ross: Man! (Monica mouths, "Im sorry.")
MONICA: (holding up a blanket) Where's Benny? (drops the blanket) There he is! (does it again) Where's Benny, there he is.
Monica: I'll be right there!
[Scene: Ross' apartment, Monica and Chandler enter.]
Monica: Phoebe, there's a dog sitting on my couch!
Monica: Nestle Tollhouse?!
Doug: Hey Bing! (Slaps him on his ass.) (Sees Monica) Wo-ho-ho, who's the pretty lady and what the hell is she doing with you?
Monica: Ross, I'm gonna use yours, okay?
Monica: Phoebe, why is there a dog in our apartment?
Monica: (walks to Phoebe's door) Phoebe! Phoebe, open up!
[Time lapse, Chandler and Monica enter.]