words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey sits at a table and Chandler and Monica enter.]
Monica: What do you do with your money now?
Monica: Joe... Emus are birds. You raise them for meat.
Joey: (laughs) Yeah! Right! (points at Monica) People eat birds... Bird meat... Now do they just fly into your mouth or you go to... you go to a restaurant and you say: "Excuse me, I'll have a bucket of fried bird." (laughs again) Or... or maybe just a wing or... (realises...)
Monica: Joey, I think you should consider something a little less risky. I mean, I think in this market, real estate is your best investment.The Fed. just lowered the rates and the interest on your mortgage is totally deductible. (looks at Chandler) That's right, I know some stuff!
Monica: (very excited) Oh, and you know who's selling a great apartment? Richard!
Chandler: (imitating Monica) Oh, and you know whose knowledge of her ex-boyfriend is shocking? Monica!
Monica: My dad told me. They play golf together.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Rachel and Monica are sitting at the dinner table and Phoebe enters, knocking on the door.]
Rachel and Monica: Hey!
Monica: Wow, the boyfriend's parents! That's a big step.
Monica: They just gonna love you, just be yourself.
Phoebe: Okay, so... allright... Which dress? (she holds up two 'Phoebe' dresses, Rachel and Monica look at them... taking their time, don't wanting to hurt Phoebe) You can say "neither".
Rachel and Monica: Oh God, neither!
Monica: I'm sorry honey, but we're gonna take you shopping. It's gonna be fine.
Monica: You went out with Wallis Pincer?
Monica: I knew you didn't get a 1400!
Monica: (Monica looks at Rachel in disbelief) She said WHAT?
Phoebe: (speaking louder and articulating) That's she's like the daughter she never had. (Phoebe points at her ears) Listen! (Monica looks at Phoebe in a duh! way)
Chandler: We're not gonna have this conversation again... Look at this place. Why am I so intimidated by this guy? Pretentious art, this huge macho couch. When we know all he does is sit around all day crying about losing Monica to a real man! (laughs) You don't think he's here, do you? (Joey looks around)
Joey: Ooh! A tape with a girls name on it. It's probably a sex tape... (realises) Wait a minute... This says Monica... (looks around) And this is Richard's apartment... (realises some more)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Only Chandler is there with the videotape in his hands, standing in front of the TV set.]
Joey: You don't wanna see what I just saw! (at this moment Monica comes home, and sees Chandler flat on his back on the floor and Joey pinning him down)
Monica: What are you guys doing? (Monica hears the moaning coming from the TV and looks at it) Oh my God, is that Richard? (It only takes a split second for Joey to realise, he pulls Monica down by her jacket, and she falls, face down next to Chandler. Chandler gets up a bit, and Joey quickly covers Chandler's eyes with his hand.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica switches off the VCR. Joey and Chandler are behind the couch.]
Monica: So you stole that tape from Richard's apartment?
Monica: That tape was never meant to be seen by... (pauses) Joey I would feel more comfortable if I was having this conversation in private.
Joey: (laughs) Monica, look... I don't think you and I have any secrets anymore... (Monica keeps looking at Joey) Not ready to joke about it yet, okay, I see you later. (Joey walks out)
Monica: Why in the world would you take this tape and and why would you watch it?
Monica: Is all this about you not being able to grow a moustache?
Monica: Isn't that sad? I mean, can you see how pathetic that is? You shouldn't be jealous. You should feel bad for him.
Monica: Chandler, this is not our problem. We've got each other. That's all that matters.
Monica: Cowboy boots? I've never worn cowboy boots in my whole life! (she turns on the video again)
Monica: THAT'S NOT ME!
Monica: That bastard taped over me! (Chandler's expression changes)
Monica: I-It's just so insulting! Big spring for a new blank tape, Doctor!
Rachel: Shake it! (Phoebe, Mike, Chandler, Monica and Joey step in)
Monica: No, you messed it up. Youre stupid.
Monica: How'd it go?
Monica: No, he'll be fine. It's the other five I'm worried about.
Monica: Then what is it?
Dr. Rosen: So, Monica, what do you do?
Monica: Yeah, you should.
Monica: Y'know what, Ive got to walk out of here right now, cause getting over you is the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. I dont think I could do it again.
Monica: Go on.
Monica: Have you ever taken out the trash? (Hands her the garbage.)
Rachel: (looks at Monica) (to him) Do you want my pickle?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler have gone through the phone book and found Greg and Jennys number which Monica has just dialed.]
Monica: Yknow what, lets do the catering business.
Monica: I cannot believe you broke up with her just like that.
Monica: (louder) A positive atmosphere! But I-I-I have had it up to here. (She holds her hand over her head as an afterthought.) From now on, it is gonna be my way, or the highway! All right? Does anybody have a problem with that?!! (Joey looks at the money hes holding, and doesnt speak up.) Hey new guy! I said, does anybody have a problem with that?!
Monica: Hey!
Monica: What?!
Monica: (to Chandler) So, did you do it?
Monica: Uh-oh, it was bad?
[cut to Monica cleaning the floor in the kitchen]
Monica: I was probably waiting for it to open.
Monica: Its kind of an important one!
Rachel: Let me see that. (Monica shows her) Oh, yeah.
Monica: Look Rach, we have to move. I mean if they had lost, we wouldve made them get rid of the birds. Right?
Monica: Well?
Ross: You have 30 seconds. And the lightning round beginsstop it (Chandler stops jumping)now. What was Monicas nickname when she was a field hockey goalie?
Monica: Back then, I thought that I would never, ever get the chance to go out with a Chip Matthews, and now hes-hes called me up and asked me out. And the fat girl inside of me really wants to go. I-I owe her this. I never let her eat.
Monica: Hey!
(Theres a knock on the door and Monica answers it.)
Monica: What is it?!
Phoebe: Yeah, but youve got to pull yourself together! Monica cant see you like this! Then shell know somethings wrong!
Joey: Sure! (Monica gets very depressed) But hey, you know this way sounds good too.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is getting coffee as Phoebe enters.]
Monica: Oh my God, are you out of a job?
Monica: Yeah, I think I have some around here somewhere. Why?
Joey: Oh yeah. If you ah, move your hamper, you see what color the tile used to be. (Monica gasps) Yeah.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica is still unpacking after the move, and Phoebe is their also.]
Monica: What are you doing?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica and Erica enter, Chandler is in the kitchen.]
Monica: Umm. (Looks at Chandler who is using the phone.) Umm. Umm. I don't think so.
MONICA: [carrying an ice cube tray] Ice, ice, ice squares anyone? Take a napkin. Alright.
MONICA: I don't know, I lost it all ok. I lost it.
Rachel: (to Monica) Did you know he was in there?
Monica: (popping back up) Regular or decaf?
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey are you getting Monica and Chandler an engagement present?
Monica: (entering) Hey!
Monica: And it has to go perfectly, because if she doesn't like something about us she can keep us off every adoption list in the state.
MONICA: If you really want to watch that Serengetti thing, you can.
Monica: Oh that's okay. Dont worry about it, you can give it to me when we get back.
Monica: Oh, well... um, that's all there are of these. But in about eight and a half minutes, we'll be serving some delicious onion tartlets.
Chandler: Okay! (He joins her on one knee) Okay! Okay! Oh God, I thought (Starting to cry, pauses) Wait a minute, I-I can do this. (Pause) I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, (Pause) you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. (Starting to cry again.) And if youll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. (Pause as he gets out the ring.) Monica, will you marry me?
Monica: Well, my breasts are going to get bigger weather you like it or not! And you know what? It's not just my breasts. My ass is going to get bigger too.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Monica enters.]
Monica: Please, have some!
Monica: Yeah, its just something I picked up.
Monica: Wait! Wait! This isnt take-out!
Monica: People are supposed to wanna hang out here!
Monica: I am so jealous.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Ross are there. Monica is checking the messages.]
Monica: I gotta tell ya, I think its okay to be that guy.
Monica: Are you sure?
Monica: Nah, I got it.
[Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe enter, confused.]
[Scene: Chandler, Phoebe, Rachel, Monica comforting Joey at Monica and Rachel's apartment.]
Monica: Oh, Im sorry. Of course I mean that. Interesting idea, umm, talk about it, but no.
(Monica stares longingly at the door, after Richard leaves)
Monica: He loves you.
[Scene: Ross and Emilys room, the next morning. Ross is now asleep and has his head in Monicas lap and his feet on Chandlers lap. Monica and Chandler are both still awake and depressed.]
Rachel: Wow! Monica!
Monica: Just come.
[Scene: game room, Monica and Mike are still playing ping pong]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier. Joey is talking about the wonder that is the thong.]
MONICA: Huuh, alright, Danny Arshak, ninth grade. Oh, c'mon Rach, you know the bottle was totally pointing at me.
Monica: (not wanting to be left out, picks up something) Hey umm, whats this?
Monica: Hey, did you get the turkey bast-Oh my God! Oh my God! (She sees someone is stuck in the turkey.) Who is that?
Monica: OK, great. You'll tell us and we'll laugh. Let's play poker.
Monica: Whats Phase Two?
(Chandler and Monica carry Erica and Jack over to the crib and put them down carefully.)
(Pete and Monica kiss, and Monica mouths I love you. to him.)
Rachel: Oh. Thats so Monica can keep track. That way if one on them is missing, she can be like, Wheres number 27?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is in his sweats flinging playing cards into a pot.]
Monica: Rachel always cries!
Monica: Oh Rachel, I know the best coffee house and its sooo close.
Ross: (on the phone) No Mum, I'm not dead. I know it's not something to kid about. It was just a practical joke between Chandler and me, but it's over, ok? (pause) Actually no, even if I had died, you would not be left childless. (pause) Monica?
Monica: You stink!
Rachel: Hey, Monica!
Monica: Hey, Joey, could you pass the cheese?
Monica: Sweety, what are you talking about?
Monica: Uh-oh, whats the matter?
Pete: Monica, I want to become (pause) the Ultimate Fighting Champion.
Monica: I cant! I have to work!
Monica: I think shes here.
Woman: Hello! (Monica screams)
MONICA: Oh, um, that was my bathing suit from high school. I was uh, a little bigger then.
Monica: What?
Monica: Oh my God!
Monica: Oh. (to Phoebe) Can I have a tissue?
Monica: All right, then show me some manly moves.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is there as Chandler and Monica enters.]
Monica: Y'know in a weird way, you have too much power. Look, youre gonna have to help me out here, cause I only have three.
Monica: So you hit her in the face?