words in movies
[Scene: An Emergency Room, Rachel and Monica enter. Rachel is limping and leaning on Monica for support.]
Monica: Hi. Uh, my friend here was taking down our Christmas lights, and and she fell off the balcony and may have broken her foot or or ankle or something.
(Rachel glares at the nurse, who gives Monica a form attached to a clipboard.)
(Monica helps Rachel over to a vacant seat.)
(Monica starts on the form, while Rachel catches her breath and massages her ankle.)
Monica: Okay, ooh, alright. Name, address... Okay, in case of emergency, call?
Monica: Really?
Monica: Oh, that is so sweet. (Touched, she puts an arm around her friend and kisses her.) Oh gosh, love you. Insurance?
Monica: (No longer touched) you don't have insurance?
Monica: I have no idea, but X-rays alone could be a couple hundred dollars.
Monica: Well there's not much we can do.
Monica: Hah, no no no no no no no no no no.
Monica: (Looking around to check that no-one's listening, then lowering her voice anyway) That's insurance fraud.
Monica: (Jumping up to make Rachel sit down) Okay, okay. I hate this.
Monica: (to the nurse) Hi, (tiny laugh) um, I'm gonna need a new set of (tiny laugh) these forms (tiny laugh).
Monica: (Tiny laugh) I am really an idiot. (Tiny laugh) you see, I was filling out my friend's form, and instead of putting her information, (tiny laugh) I put mine.
Monica: (Tiny laugh) yep, that's me, (tiny laugh) I am that stupid (tiny laugh).
[Scene: The Hospital, Monica and Rachel are waiting for the doctors to arrive. They enter and are played by Noah Wyle and George Clooney.]
Dr. Mitchell: Okay, errrr, Monica?
Monica: Yes? (jumping as Rachel punches her arm) ..yes, she is.
Rachel (as Monica): Hi, this is my friend Rachel.
Monica (as Rachel): Hi.
(Monica and Rachel smile back prettily.)
Monica (as Rachel): Thank you.
Rachel (as Monica): Right.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone but Joey is waiting for Phoebe to arrive for her surprise birthday party. Rachel and Monica is telling Chandler about Rachel's incident.]
Monica: Uh, you left out the stupid part.
Monica: I think it's totally insane, I mean, they work for the hospital. It's like returning to the scene of the crime. You know, I say we blow off the dates.
Rachel: What? Monica, they are cute, they are doctors, (spelling it out in the air for her slow friend) cute doctors, doctors who are cute!
(There is a knock at the door. Someone turns the music off, then the whole party runs and hides, except for Monica and Rachel who answer their door. Ross stands in the doorway, holding a box, but everyone is too keyed up to notice that it's him.)
Monica: Come on, she'll be here any minute.
Monica: Oh...
Monica: Well maybe we can make a, a, a 'B' out of one of those roses.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is just getting off of the intercom and turns off the TV which is still in the SAP mode.]
Monica: Rachel, the cute doctors are here.
(Monica opens the door for Dr. Mitchell and Dr. Geoffrey.)
Monica: Hi, come on in.
Monica: Hi, Geoffrey.
Dr. Rosen: So, Monica, how's the ankle?
Monica: It's uh...
Monica (as Rachel): ..well, why don't you tell them? After all it, is your ankle.
Rachel (as Monica): You know what, it's feeling a lot better, thank you, um... Well, listen, why don't you two sit down and, and we'll get you some glasses... okay... (They don't know what to do with their coats and Monica points to the living room) STAT!
(Rachel joins Monica who is in the kitchen area, opening the wine bottle. Rachel checks that the doctors aren't listening, then lowers her voice anyway.)
Monica: It will not be fine. We'll get in trouble.
Rachel: Oh, Monica! Would you stop being such a wuss?
Monica: A wuss? Excuse me for living in the real world, okay?
Monica: I said we are not going to do it, okay? Sometimes you can be such a, a big baby.
Monica: Sure, every time, you're such a princess...
Monica: What?
Monica: What!?
Monica: (getting angry) What!!?
(Rachel brightly limps back across the apartment with glasses of wine for the cute doctors, leaving an open-mouthed Monica in her wake.)
Rachel: (as Monica) Thanks! I've been here about six years, and Rachel moved in a few months ago.
Monica: (as Rachel) Yeah... (joining the others) ..see, I was supposed to get married, but, um, I left the guy at the altar.
Monica: (as Rachel) Yeah... Yeah, I know it's pretty selfish, but haha, hey, that's me. (Indicating a dish on the table) Why don't you try the hummus?
Dr. Rosen: So, Monica, what do you do?
Rachel: (as Monica) Aahh, I'm a... chef at a restaurant uptown.
Rachel: (as Monica) Yeah it is, mostly because I get to boss people around, which I just love to do.
Monica: (as Rachel) (Suddenly laughing) Oh, god, I am so spoiled... That's it!
Rachel: (as Monica) And by the way, have I mentioned that back in high school, I was a cow?
Monica: (as Rachel) I used to wet my bed.
Rachel: (as Monica) I use my breasts to get other people's attention.
Monica: (as Rachel) (Revealing her anger to point at her best friend) We both do that!
Dr. Mitchell: (on the phone) Monica and Rachel's apartment. Err yeh, aayah, yeh, just one second... (handing it to Monica) ..ah, Rachel, it's your dad.
Monica: (as Rachel) Hi, Dad. No, no, it's me. (Getting up to move further away from Rachel) li-listen, Dad, I can't talk right now, um, but there's something, um... there's something that I've been meaning to tell you...
(Monica glares triumphantly across the room, scaring Rachel who also stands up.)
Monica: (as Rachel) Remember back in freshman year? (Talking fast before Rachel can catch her) Well, Billy Dreskin and I had sex on your bed.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Ross, Phoebe, Chandler and Monica sit round the coffee table, playing Scrabble. Rachel, still in her dressing gown, is pleading on the phone, her free hand shaking with agitation.]
Rachel: (on phone) Daddy... Daddy... Daddy, why whyyy would I sleep with Billy Dreskin? His father tried to put you out of business! (Rachel turns to Monica, clasping the receiver to her bosom so Dr.Green can't hear, while mouthing "You are...") ...dead!
(Monica smiles a sweet apology of regret, until she's distracted by Marcel as he clambers all over her nice furniture.)
Monica: Ross, he's got the remote again.
Rachel and Monica: Oh god, waddawe do, waddawe do, waddawe do?
Monica: I don't know! Why don't you just explain? What do they want? Find out what they want!
Monica: (taking the phone) Hello, this is Monica... Yeah??? Oh... (Smiles at Rachel to reassure her) Okay, yes, we'll be right, we'll be right down.(Listens) Thank you. (Hangs up)
Monica: We forgot to sign one of the admissions forms.
Monica: Thank you.
Monica: Yes.
Monica: Hi.
[Scene: The Emergency Room. The officious admissions nurse is again on duty. Rachel and Monica enter, looking worried. As they approach the desk, Rachel adopts a winning smile, while Monica struggles to smile at all.]
Rachel: (as Monica) Hi, remember us?
Monica: (as Rachel) Um, okay. You just called a little while ago about needing a signature on the admissions form. Well, it turns out we need a whole new one (little laugh) because uh, you see, I-I, I put the wrong name again. (Little laugh) 'cause um...
Monica: (as Rachel) I am. I'm that stupid. (Little laugh.)
Rachel: (as Monica) Yeah, and and, I'm just gonna pay for this with a check.
Rachel: (as Monica) Yeah, I know... (mirroring her friend) ..I'm I'm just not that bright either.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is neglecting the game of Scrabble, for he's busily drawing on his own childhood in an attempt to help Ross. Marcel chitters about.]
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Monica sits with Rachel, who is filling out an honest form at last. Ross and Chandler hurtle in. Little Marcel, wrapped in a fluffy towel, is cradled in Ross's arms. They dash up to the admissions desk. Ross is frantic.]
(Hearing her brother's voice, Monica gets up to stand behind Chandler, followed by Rachel.)
Monica: What's goin' on?
(..then turn back to the desk when the surprise hits them, and Ross and Chandler whip around once more. Monica and Rachel recoil slightly.)
(Rachel, Monica, Ross and Chandler whip around for a second time, in formation.)
Rachel and Monica: Oh, thank you.
Monica: Michael.
Monica: (as Rachel) Monica.
Rachel: (as Monica) Oh.
Monica: (as Rachel) Hi.
Rachel: (as Monica) Hi.
(Monica smiles to cover her embarrassment, but Rachel sadly looks away...)
[Scene: The Hospital, Marcel lies on the operating table while recovering from the anaesthetic, tucked up under a sheet like an infant in a huge bed. Ross sits beside him, as a smiling Chandler, Monica and Rachel look on.]
Monica: Oh, look, he's waking up!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone except Joey is there. Rachel is looking out of the window and Ross is handing out some Chinese takeout. There's a small SAP in the corner of the screen.]
Monica: �A qui�n pidio el pollo General Tso? (Who ordered General Sal's chicken?)
Monica: Mira, Ross, Marcel se llevo el control remoto. (Look, Ross, Marcel's got the remote.)
Joey: Ahhoy! That was the underwear I was wearing that night in London. Right Monica?
[cut to later, Monicas team has the ball.]
Monica: (smiling) It's so sweet. It really is. It has this big yard that leads down to this stream and then there's these old maple trees... (gets cut off)
Ross: Wait a minute! I saw that! On The Discovery Channel, yeah! About jellyfish and how if you... (Stops suddenly and turns to look at Monica) Ewwww!! You peed on yourself?!
Chandler: No, but Horny for Monica Minister called, wanting to know if we were still together.
Monica: Mine? (points to her lower lip) Right here?
Chandler: Six-hour trip to London. Thats a lot of Monica.
Monica: Why? Because everything is my responsibility? Isn't it enough that I'm making Thanksgiving dinner for everyone? You know, everyone wants a different kind of potatoes, so I'm making different kinds of potatoes. Does anybody care what kind of potatoes I want? Nooooo, no, no! (starting to cry) Just as long as Phoebe gets her peas and onions, and Mario gets his tots, and it's my first Thanksgiving, and it's all burned, and, and I... I...
Monica: Well umm, Chandler and I are moving in together.
Monica: Oh, honey, I forgot. I promised Treeger that we'd leave our keys.
Monica: Come on! Come on! Hurry! Were running out of time! Huddle up!
Monica: Man, this sucks! Yknow if Mom and Dad dont see us on TV after we made them so jealous, I mean, whos gonna be the losers then?
Front Desk Clerk: (To Monica) Heres a copy of your bill.
Monica: Making holiday candy for the neighbors.
[Cut back to the living room. Chandler slowly exits the bathroom and gets pushed from behind by Monica and sees Phoebe closing the apartment door.)
Monica: You got a callback too didn't you?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, (although its really just Monicas now with Matthew Perry in rehab) Monica is folding her laundry with Ross reading the paper and Phoebe standing in the kitchen.]
Monica, Chandler, Ross: Congratulations!/Good for you!/Great!
Monica: Well, instead of being sad that tonight is my last night together with Rachel we thought wed go out to dinner and celebrate the fact that Rachel is moving in with Phoebe.
Monica: We have a ladle. (Gives him one.)
Monica: Maybe Joey doesnt have to give you the money, TV stars have assistants right?
Monica: Whats the big deal?
Monica: The guy who made these hates feet and wants to see them die!
Monica: Wait a minute. That wasnt a hard eight! Last night I rolled a hard eight.
[Flashback to 209 - TOW Phoebe's Dad] [Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey and Chandler are giving out their Christmas presents out of a cardboard box from a case of motor oil.]
MONICA: You wanna be in charge of the food committee?
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Phoebe are on their dates with Sergei and Mischa.]
Monica: All right then, go fight for her! Go to London! I mean, that could be you and Emily! (Points to the TV.) That, but-but nicer. Just, go to London!
Monica: Phoebe, yknow why dont we just go upstairs and have some birthday cake?
MONICA: Oh, dad, turn it off.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is telling Monica about his new baby sitting job.]
Monica: You and Mona are doing a holiday card together?
Monica: All right! Let's go! (Runs to the door.) Let's go Team Monica! (The guys all stop and stare at her) All right, we can work out the name later.
Monica: Bet I know how that discussions going to go.
Monica: Ok, then, why are you... (she opens her robe revealing a nice black dress) all dressed up??
Monica: We didnt get anything for anyone.
Monica: Oh, um, I dont know if thats a good idea.
(Monica puts the groceries down and goes to check the answering machine and hears.)
Monica: (to Ben) Whos so brave, youre so brave, yes you are, youre so brave.
Monica: Didnt it drive you crazy to have a switch and not know what it did?
Rachel: Okay! (Runs and grabs a book and hands it to Monica.) Okay! Here!
Monica: Yeah, well hes my brother! And plus he drives so slow he could never hurt it.
Phoebe: What?! He was with her when he wrote this poem. Look, (reading) 'My vessel so empty with nothing inside. Now that I've touched you, you seem emptier still.' He thinks Monica is empty, she is the empty vase!
Monica: Oh, I'm glad. Listen, I want to apologize about Chandler, though. I just did not see this coming.
Joey: Whoa, Monica runs a pretty tight ship over here. What are you doing?
Phoebe: Hey Monica, what about your extra tickets?
Monica: Is that that couple on the first floor? Because we should get a baby before them. Yeah! That guy tried to sell me drugs. (Laura looks shocked)
Monica: All right Rachel, you sweep behind, Ill pitch it to you, you throw it down field to Phoebe. All right. Break.
Monica: Ohh, I've always wanted to go to this culinary fair that they have in Jersey!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, Janice are sitting on the couch, and Phoebe is sitting next to them in the chair.]
Monica: Have I read it? (pause) No, are you enjoying it?
Monica: (leaving) I'm outta here.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
[Scene: The Geller household kitchen, Monica and Phoebe are cooking for Mrs. Gellers party.]
Monica: Hey, Rachel, Can-can I see you for a sec?
Monica: Hey, look at me. I'm making jam, been at it since 4 o'clock this morning.
Monica: Yknow, maybe its best that we never got to do it again.
MONICA: Damnit Ross, get your butt out of the bathroom.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Close up of the flan on the table with birthday candles.]
Monica: We're Aunt Monica and uncle Chandler, by the way. You may not recognize us, because we haven't spoken to your parents in seventeen years!
Monica: (faking happiness) Well, I-I-I-I... I don't know...
Ross: Look Chandler, Monica is really weird about this kind stuff all right. Believe me, I lived with her for 16 years. She is going to freak out. Oh my God, she's going to sit on you.
MONICA: Really?� But tomorrow night is the only night I get off from the restaurant.� If you go to the game, we won't have a night together for another week.
Monica: They all came from the list you handed out to us two weeks ago.
Phoebe: I need to talk to you, its pretty urgent. Its about Monica and Chandler.
Monica: Oh, the way you crushed Mike at ping pong was such a turn-on.You wanna...? (plays with her finger on Chandlers chest)
Monica: All right, umm, were not gonna really keep it this way though.
MONICA: Nothin', nothin', hey you're a cheapasaurus. I'm kidding, I'm kidding, thank you, I'm very greatful.
Monica: So wait, Rosss stuff is fine, but I have no memories because you wanted to keep the bottom two inches of your car away from water!!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ryan is walks up to the door and knocks.]
Monica: (trying not to laugh) Im not laughing.
[Scene: Outside the Nursery, Chandler is looking at the babies as Monica walks up.]
CHANDLER: I'm sorry.� I, I told you I was in Tulsa because I wanted to spend the night with Monica and I, I didn't know . . .� I didn't think you'd understand.
[Scene: The Hallway, Monica and Chandler are returning and Monica finds her basket is empty.]
Monica: Im checking out the restaurant with Pete.
Mr. Geller: I think I accidentally used Monicas boxes to keep the water away from the Porsche.
Monica: I wish we at least knew his name... Look at that face. I mean, even sleeping, he looks smart. I bet he's a lawyer.
Chandler: (intrigued) Yeah? (Monica nods yes.) I hope youre not thinking about cleaning the living room.
Phoebe: Okay, dont sweat it. (Looking around her.) Chandler is nowhere around so go ahead get it out of your system. That guys cute. (Points to a guy sitting behind Monica.)
[Scene: The beach house, Joey and Chandler are sitting at the dinner table, Monica is looking in the fridge.]
Rachel: Joey! Why did you tell Chandler that Monica was getting a boob job?
Monica: (to Mike) This doesn't concern you!!
[Scene: The hospital, Ross and Monica are in Phoebes room. Phoebe is in the bathroom and Monica notices smoke coming out from underneath the door.]
Monica: Look, I am not high maintenance. I am not. Chandler!
MONICA: Thanks. So, I guess I better be going.
Monica: Well, given that we forgot to invite her it would be an awfully big coincidence if she was.
Chandler: Glass, sand, whatever. (Walks out as Monica and Phoebe turn to check on the babies again.)
Monica: Listen uh, I-Ive been doing some thinking, and I dont know whether its because were here or Rachels giving birth but umm, I think we should try to have a baby.
Ross: I grew up with Monica! If you didnt eat fast you didnt eat!!
Rachel: Wow, Monica, you look just like your grandmother. How old was she there?
Monica: Why would I say anything? That two of our best friends could start the greatest love affair of their lives! And they would have me to thank, and we could all start having babies?
Monica: Well I-I talked to and uh, shes definitely going to have this baby. Yknow, she said she was gonna raise it on her own.
(Monica nods `Yes.' And they both walk to the couch looking all depressed.)
Joey: (entering) Thats my line! (He walks up the aisle and to the rabbi) I can take it from here, thanks. (To all) Dearly beloved, Im sorry Im a little late. You may be confused by this now, (Hes still in costume) but you wont be Memorial Day weekend 2002. Well, lets get started before the groom takes off again. Huh? (Monica is shocked and looks around.) We are gathered here today, to join this man and this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. Ive known Monica and Chandler for a long time, and I can not imagine two people more perfect for each other. And now, as Ive left my notes in my dressing room. We shall proceed to the vows. Monica?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Continued from earlier, Rachel is now telling everyone of her experience in the garbage room.]
Monica: Are you insane? I mean Joey, is going to kill you, hes actually going to kill you dead.
Monica: I mean this has been like my dream since I got my first Easy Bake Oven and opened Easy Monicas Bakery. I mean I would kill for this job. I mean I can totally do this job, and God knows I paid my dues. (She removes her fake breasts) But Petes just doing this because he has a crush on me.
Monica: You broke a little girls leg?!!
Monica: Look, I know that you're in a place right now where you really need to hate Julie's guts, but she didn't do anything wrong. I mean, she was just a girl who met a guy, and now they go out. I really think that if you gave her a chance, you'd like her. Would you just give that a chance, for me?
Rachel: Monica, last Saturday night, what happened on Walker: Texas Ranger?