words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. They're in the kitchen as Rachel enters.]
Monica: Hey!
Monica: Sure, we'll do that. What are you up to?
Monica: Oh my god.
Monica: Just figured, 'cause you and Ross are...
Monica: You want a job? Turn off "Oprah," and send out a resume!
Monica: Oh, it's perfect.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Emma is there in her playpen, while Chandler is behind the couch.]
(Monica enters from their bedroom with a calendar.)
Monica: Okay, just so you know, I'm gonna be ovulating from tomorrow until the sixth, so don't touch yourself in the next 48 hours.
(Monica looks at him.)
Monica: Yeah.
Monica: No, it's not.
Monica: Oh my god. Today's the sixth?! I may be done ovulating! I may have also served some very questionable meat at the restaurant.
Monica: Okay.
Monica: Hey, where are all my ovulation-sticks? There's only one here.
Monica: Chandler!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica emerges from the bathroom.]
Monica: We're okay. I'm still ovulating.
Monica: So, let's do this.
Monica: Come on. I know you're not eighteen anymore, but give it a minute.
Monica: Oh my god, Emma. Oh, sweetie, I forgot you were here. Oh, you're right, we can't do this. We can't leave her alone.
Monica: Unless... Maybe we do it here. I mean, how much can she even be aware of at this age?
Monica: Canoodling?
Monica: I don't know. I mean, I guess having sex in front of a baby isn't so...
Monica: I guess you're right.
Monica: But what kind of a sick bastard wants to do it in front of a deer?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Emma has fallen asleep in her playpen, and Chandler has fallen asleep right next to her on the floor. He's even sucking on a pacifier.]
Monica: She's asleep. Chandler?
Monica: What are you doing?
Monica: She's asleep.
Monica: Yes, but we have to be fast.
Monica (laughs): Okay, I'll try.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. They're done and come out of their bedroom. Emma is still gone.]
Monica: Well, that was weird. You were loud, and I was fast.
Monica: Oh, I wish I didn't have to wait to take a pregnancy test.
Monica: Oh my god, where's Emma? Where's Emma?
Monica: Okay, okay, I'm sure that Rachel came home early and picked up Emma. You go look across the hall, and I'll call her cell.
Monica: Hey, you better hope that we're pregnant, because one way or another, we're giving a baby back to Rachel.
Monica (on phone): Hey, Rach, how's it going?
Rachel (to Steve): Look, you know what, I'm sorry, but did you really think that this was going well? (To Monica.) What's up?
Monica: Hey, did you stop by here?
Monica: Oh my god, then...
Monica: Oh, thank god! Emma, there you are!
Monica: Oh, we were playing "peek-a-boo." She just � she loves it when I'm dramatic.
(Monica hangs up, and Rachel looks at her phone.)
Monica (to Joey): Why the hell did you take her?
Monica: No, we weren't!
Monica: No, please don't. Please, Joey. She will kill us!
Monica: Unless what?
Ross: Monica told me you had a blind date.
Rachel: No Monica! Im serious! Oh, maybe I should just forget about it. Become a lesbian or something.
Monica: Honey, that's okay. I actually know this woman, Nancy, who's a restaurant biz head-hunter. Maybe she'll know of something.
[Scene: Another street, somewhere along the River Themes, Ross, Emily, and Monica are walking to where theyre gonna get married. Emily is relating the troubles with the caterer.]
Monica: (entering from her room, excitedly) Im getting married today!!! (She trips and falls.) (Getting up) I think I just cracked a rib. But I dont care because todays my wedding day! My day is finally here!! (Runs back into her room.)
Ross: Okay umm, why dont we all take a seat, yknow? And uh, and Ill get us all some uh some coffees(He goes to pull out Elizabeths chair, but Paul steps in)Yeah, why dont you. (Paul pulls out her chair) Uh and you guys can talk about whatever, whatever you want. Yknow? Whatever pops into your head. (He turns his back to Paul and Elizabeth and points to himself for Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe. Then he goes to order the coffee.)
[Cut to Living Room, Rachel is sleeping on the couch, Ross is gone, the rest of them can finally emerge from their cell. They all wave good bye, and start to walk quietly out, as Monica goes and puts a blanket on Rachel. Joey starts walking all hunched over and bobbing his shoulders as he goes.]
Monica: A jazz trio for cocktails. The Bay City Rollers for dancing. Wait, that was from my sixth grade wedding.
Phoebe: Probably? Yeah, I don't like that word. (Chandler and Monica look surprised) Kind of what probably really means. Yeah, uh-huh. Yeah, oh, "Your mom probably won't kill herself," yknow? I'm sorry, but I'm not hanging all my hopes of Rachel and I living together on-on "Probably!" Yknow? You gotta take care of yourselves! (She starts to walk out) In this world history teaches us nothing! (Exits)
Monica: Hey Maureen! (They hug.) Gosh! Hey uh, Chandler? This is my cousin Maureen.
[cut to later, Tim has left. Monica is still shivering. Theres a knock on the door.]
Monica: Sure. Oh, um, Chandler? Y'know, the-the old Monica would-would remind you to scrub that Teflon pan with a plastic brush...But I'm not gonna do that.
Monica: I mean, was it Gina?
Monica: So Nancy told me about this job at this great restaurant, Javo (sp?). It's just a little outside of Tulsa.
Waitress: Hey Monica, theres a customer who wants to complement the chef, should I let him in?
[Monica pushes Ben down the aisle in a stroller. Susan is escorted by both her parents. Carol is escorted by Ross.]
Monica: You dont? (Laughs) Well, thats the difference between a professional and a layman.
MONICA: Yes. I hated you. I mean I, I, loved you in a 'you're my brother so I have to' kind of way, but basically, yeah, I hated your guts.
Monica: Hey, hey, look. Look Ross, Ben drew a picture of you! (Shows him Ben's picture.) Huh? You're-you're a cowboy!
(No one can and Monica looks at Joey expectantly.)
Monica: Yeah, a-a-and clean. Not just health department clean... Monica clean.
Monica: Umm, I'd love too! (She goes over and picks up the box and decides to follow Rachel's advice and holds the box up to her cheek.) Ooh, I love macaroni and cheese. I love-I love the way this box feels against my cheek.
Monica: That is so sweet! (She kisses him and turns to add some sugar to her tea.)
Ross: That bitch! (He gets up and they go over to ambush Frannie. Monica taps on Frannies shoulder.)
Monica: Michael Flatley, Lord of the Dance!
Monica: You gave her food poisoning!?
[Scene: A street, Chip is walking Monica to his motorcycle.]
Monica: (Entering from her bedroom, talking on the phone) Yeah, once again, I am sorry. Thank you. Bye. (To the gang) I just had to turn down a job catering a funeral for sixty people.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Chandler are sitting at a table. Monica is checking her makeup as Chandler suddenly has a horrifying thought and starts patting down his pockets until he finds what hes looking for and sighs in relief.]
Ross: No, Monicas restaurant got a horrible review in the Post. (They all gasp.) I didnt want her to see it, so I ran around the neighborhood and bought all the copies I could find. (He hands the paper to Phoebe and they all read it.)
Monica: And when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. (To Rachel) (Starts to cry) You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!! (They both break down in tears.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there with her boyfriend Roger, talking to Rachel and Monica.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is getting ready for a date with Monica as Ross enters.]
MONICA: I've been great, just great. How have you been? [tilting her head]
Monica: What happened? You still have the Monica wedding fund dont you?
Monica: Uh yeah, I-I actually I thought about you a couple months ago.
Rachel: Yeah, we could. Oh hey look! Theres some Kappa Kappa Deltas! I was a Kappa. (to them) Hey sisters! (They ignore her.) (To Monica) Wow, we really are bitches.
Monica: All right! Okay, its just Phoebe. Wills still on a diet, Chandler doesnt eat Thanksgiving food, and Rachels having her aversion to poultry.
Phoebe: All right, prude... Look, Monica and Chandler really love this house. You are not gonna talk them into staying here.
Monica: Believe me, Chandler and I have not seen each other in over a week. We�ll probably be the first ones there.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is on the phone. Rachel walks in and overhears the conversation.]
Chandler: Maybe Monica has a bobby pin.
MONICA: [Opens the door] I need to borrow a hundred bucks.
Monica: I know...God. I haven't seen my savings take a hit like this since I was a kid and they came up with double-stuffed Oreos. What happened to all our money?
Erica: Yeah. It's a sonogram they took of the baby last week. I thought you might want to see it. (gives it to Monica, who looks at it for a long time, and then shows it to Chandler)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is pouring Mark some coffee.]
Rachel: Thats right, still no baby! (To Monica, Joey, and Chandler on the couch) Come on people! Please make some room!
Monica: You know, that guy she met at the coffeehouse.
Monica: Well, if it annoys you so much, then why do you do it?
Ross: Wait a minute! I saw that! On The Discovery Channel, yeah! About jellyfish and how if you... (stops suddenly and turns to look at Monica) Ewwww!! You peed on yourself?!
Monica: Huh. Whats doofus spelled backwards?
Monica: Guys, rules are good! Rules help control the fun! (They all leave and close the door on Monica.) Ohhh! (Throws her notepad down in disgust.)
Monica: Actually there is. Chandler usually helps me with this, but hes really into the game so I dont want to bother him. Could you help me fold these napkins? (Hands her a stack of them.)
Monica: I can't believe my parents are actually pressuring me to find one of you people.
Monica: Pleased to meet you. So you're coming to Rachel's party tonight?
Monica: OK, we done with the chit-chat? Are we ready to play some serious poker?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is recovering from her false labour.]
(they sit down and Roy plays "You Make Me Feel" by Sylvester on his boom box, and starts... With his back towards the girls, he starts waving his hands, then backs towards the girls slapping his butt, then swings it around, and makes thrusting pelvic movements in front of Phoebe. He dances around the tables in between all the girls, and gets back into the kitchen part of the room. He then tears off one of his sleeves and throws it towards Monica and Rachel, who fight over who gets it. He then tears off his other sleeve and moves it back and forth between his legs, getting closer to Phoebe.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Monica and Chandler are sitting on one of the chairs doing a crossword puzzle.]
(Monica plays those words back in her mind and then smiles and runs to Chandler, who is twisting with joy. They hug.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler walks in, wearing a suit.]
(Monica gets behind him and in combination with his sliding the chair forward and her pushing with her leg manages to get up to the table.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are preparing to leave for the funeral.]
CHANDLER: I don't know, Richard's really nice and everything, uh, it's just that we don't know him really well, ya know, and plus he's, ya know, old [Monica gives him a glare] -er than some people, but, uh, younger than some buildings.
(Hearing her brother's voice, Monica gets up to stand behind Chandler, followed by Rachel.)
Monica: Like a pirate?!
[Scene: A random apartment building, Chandler and Monica are knocking on the door of the woman from the beginning.]
(The nurses take Erica to the recovery room. Monica and Chandler smile at each other.)
[Scene: The Hospital, Marcel lies on the operating table while recovering from the anaesthetic, tucked up under a sheet like an infant in a huge bed. Ross sits beside him, as a smiling Chandler, Monica and Rachel look on.]
Monica: (laughs) Thats right. My Mom doesnt have any faith in me! Oh, thats hilarious! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Phoebe: Yeah, it all just came screaming back to me. (Monica exits.) (To Chandler) So hows the game?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is observing the new maid, Brenda, clean.]
Monica: (At a loss for words) Boy, that was-that was, umm terrific.
Monica: (breaking it up) Uh Rachel? Rachel, why dont you sit here? (Next to Joey) And Will you sit way over there. (The other side of the table.)
JOEY: (sniffing the air and then Monica.)� Why do I smell men's cologne?
Monica: Well I think the length of teasing is directly related to how insane you were so, a long time.
[Cut to Monica and Rachel at their table.]
Chandler: (To Monica) All yours babe. (Walks away.)
Monica: No Chandler no! No unscheduled stops. You can go when we stop for gas.
[Scene: A Pizza Joint, Chandler and Monica are eating lunch.]
Monica: Oh, I can't. We're throwing Phoebe a bachelorette party.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are sorting their CDs.]
Monica: (obviously attracted to him) Is-is-is there a-a Mrs. Stevens?
Monica: Forget it. Not after your cousin who could belch the alphabet.
Phoebe: Great, all right, okay, and Monica ask me to make the drumming stop.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is smoking out on the balcony, Phoebe is absent.]
Monica: Oh, look at those little fingers and toes!
Monica: All right, Ill take one box of the mint treasures, just one, and thats it. I-I started gaining weight after I joined the Brown Birds. (to Ross) Remember, how Dad bought all my boxes and I ate them all?
Monica: (trying to change subjects, excitedly) So! Dinner in the kitchen around four! Ill see you then. (Pats Chandler on the shoulder and goes into the living room.)
Monica: He- he pooped in my shoe.
Phoebe: Speaking of Christmas, umm since Monica and I are starting a new business and have like no money, umm, this year maybe we could do secret Santa, and then we each only buy one gift. And-and theres the added mystery of who gets who.
Monica: Hey Joey, sweetie, taste this. (Holds out a spoon for him.)
Monica: (going over to him) Im so sorry. Please, stop freaking out.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering with a pizza and finds everyone but Ross there.]
Chandler: Ye.... (stops because he realises what Joey just said, and stares at him. At this moment Monica enters)
Monica: All right, look Im just gonna unplug it.
Monica: I'll get it. (On phone.) Hello. (Listens.) Hi Emily! (Listens.) Yeah, uh you-you tracked him down. Hold on one second. (She hands the phone to Ross.)
(Ross knocks on Monica and Rachel's door)
Rachel: (on tape) (Ross hands her a glass of wine) I cannot believe that I did this. Especially after Monica just went on and on and on about it! (Mimicking Monica) "Okay Rachel! Here are the invitations Rachel! Now be very careful Rachel! Please, drinking no liquids around the invitations Rachel!" (She tilts her wine glass above and moves it back and forth across the invitations) Whoa oh! Oh-oh-oh! Oh oh-oh-oh
Monica: Excuse me, Mrs. Burkart? Well, we're all cleaned up in the kitchen.
Phoebe: So. This has always been Monicas bed, what youre just noticing now, how self-involved are you?