words in movies
Chandler: Well, I suppose Id have to say you!! But, what if were watching a movie in here?
Joey: My Giant? I love that movie!
PHOEBE: Hey. Oh thanks for the great movie tip.
Joey: What are you talking about?! I'm the lead in a movie!
PHOEBE: Why are you guys so upset? It's Old Yeller, it's a happy movie.
Chandler: Yes, Joey's made arrangements to have his baby in a movie from the 50's.
Phoebe-Estelle: It’s a little coincidental, but believable. (Joey nods in agreement). Listen, I’m sure you’re wondering why I didn’t get you an audition for that TV movie.
JOEY: Hey, hey, and I'm in the movie.
CHANDLER: What's this in my pocket? Why it's Joey's porno movie.
Chandler: Hey, you know what you can do? I remember reading about this director, I think it was Orson Wells, who at the beginning of the movie would hire somebody, just so he could fire them in front of everybody. Then they would all know, whos boss.
Mike: (not amused) Are you rehearsing for some really bad mafia movie?
RACHEL: No, see this isn't about the movie theatre, this is about you stealing my wind.
Ross: (sarcastic) And you made it through that? I wonder who's gonna play you in the movie!
Erica: Oh, it was okay. I went to a movie with my cousin and then out for dinner. We went to this place that had... Ooh... (she looks likes she is in pain, holding her belly) Hoo... ooh... Anyway, they had these really amazing cheeseburgers.
CHANDLER: Well, of course, lambs are scarier. Otherwise the movie would've been called Silence of the Ducks.
MONICA: Jean-Claude Van Damme. I didn't know he was in this movie, he is so hot.
Phoebe: (the waiter puts a piece of cake on the table) I would love it. Consider it forgotten... But just so you know... however and whenever you decide to propose, I promise I'll say yes. Whether... whether, you know, it is in a basketball game, or in sky writing, or you know, like some lame guy in a cheesy movie who hides it in the cake.
Chandler: You got the lead in a movie? That's amazing! What's the movie about?!
Julie: Thanks. Hey, listen, would you like to go to a movie sometime or something?
Dana: Apparently Howies editing now. Yeah, he-he-he calls me up and asks me if he can edit my new movie. Can you believe that?! Yknow I-I-I havent spoken to him in like ten years and he asks me for a favor!
CHANDLER: [to guys wering yellow isolation suits] So, are you guys in the movie, or are you just really paranoid.
Joey: I love that movie. (Joey is using it as a pillow)
Joey: Did you not hear the plot of the movie? "She's been dead for ten years." I'm gonna be a millionaire!
Phoebe: (reading from her book) Mon (Pause as she restarts) Marcia and Chester are planning on seeing a movie on Sunday night. Marcia thinks theyre supposed to meet at six, Chester thinks its at seven.
CHANDLER: Joey was in a porno movie.
Ross: Well, I tell you what. Why dont we uh, why dont we just stay here? Lets not see a movie, well just hang.
Chip: The movie theatre, you used to come in all the time.
Joey: I dont know! Its not like its porn! This is a serious, legitimate movie. Yknow? And the nudity is really important to the story.
(Ross goes into the room where Dr. Green is laying unconscious. He turns on the TV, puts his feet on the bed and starts watching a dinosaur movie where the dinosaur is caught by two cowboys. Dr. Geller awakes.)
[Scene: The movie set. Monica and Rachel are saying goodbye to Jean-Claude]
Chandler: Well, the movie was great, dinner was great, and theres nothing like a cool, crisp New York evening.
Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where hes seen her before.) (To him) Youre trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, Ill give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?
Chandler: That's alright, I'll take it. Bad things happen to me anyway. This way I can break 'em up with a movie.
Rachel: Why aren't you guys at the movie?
Phoebe: Well, same thing we did all day, hang out at Gary's apartment. He is so amazing, we never left the bedroom. But have fun at the movie.
Rachel: All right honey, we'd better go if we wanna catch that movie.
Monica: (That annoying competitiveness thing kicks in again, what the heck is that with her and why must the writers show it every flippin' episode?!) Oh, we're not seeing a movie!
Past Life Phoebe: More bandages! More bandages! Please, can I get some more bandages in here! This man is dying(She is cut off by an exploding shell just outside the tent. When the smoke clears, she's missing an arm and the blood is pumping out like you'd see in a horror movie. And upon seeing her condition, she says ) Oh no.
Joey: Is this movie gonna be my big break?
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is trying to write his movie, Chandler is playing a game on the counter by trying to flip a ping pong ball with a spoon into a nearby bowl.]
RACHEL: C'mon, I'm not saying it was a bad movie, I'm just saying, you know, it was a little. . . hard to follow.
Fake Monica: I thought that movie was so incredibly... boring. I mean, that thing at the end where the kid kills himself because he can't be in the play? What was that?! It's like, kid, wait a year, leave home, do some community theatre. I walked out of there and I thought, 'Now, that's two hours of my life that I'm never getting back.' And that thought scared me more than all the other crap I was afraid to do.
Phoebe: So, what movie should we see?
Phoebe: Oh yknow whats sadder than this? Bambi. I cried for three days with that movie. No wait two! Because on the third day my mother killed herself so I was partly crying for that.
Monica: Phoebe, do you want to go see a movie after dinner tonight?
Ross: Hey listen I uh, talked to Chandler, sorry about the movie.
Rachel: Oh but Phoebe, were gonna be late for the movie.
Monica: No, no its going to be great. Really! Mom, Dad, when I got married, one of the things that made me sure I could do it was the amazing example the two of you set for me. For that and so many other things I want to say thank you. I know I probably dont say it enough, but I love you. (Pretends to cry hoping her parents will join her.) When I look around this room, Im-Im saddened by the thought of those who could not be here with us. Nana, my beloved grandmother who would so want to be here, but she cant because shes dead. As is our dog Chi-Chi. I mean look how cute she is. (Holds up the picture and pretends to cry again). Was. (To an old man by the stage.) Do me a favor and pass this to my parents. Remember shes dead. Okay, her and Nana, gone. Wow! Hey does anybody remember when Debra Winger had to say goodbye to her children in Terms of Endearment? (Chandler covers his ears) Didnt see that? No movie fans?! You want to hear something sad? The other day I was watching 60 Minutes these orphans in Romania, who have been so neglected, they were incapable of love. (Waits for people to cry, but doesnt get any tears.) You people are made of stone! Heres to mom and dad! Whatever!
Monica: Joey, what's it like on a movie set, huh? Do you have a dressing room? Do you have a chair with your name on it?
Rachel: Ross, thank you. Hey, do you guys wanna go see a movie?
Joey: Look, come on you guys, you said you were gonna try! All right look, I came over here to invite you guys to a movie with me and Janine.
Monica: Hey, waitwait, aren't you the guy that plays the butt in the new Al Pacino movie?
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is getting his make-up touched up as Richard approaches.]
Chandler: Hey, so where are we staying? Is the movie putting us up in a big hotel suite?
Joey: (holds up the movie) Phoebes a porn star!
Ross: I had to talk loud because the movie was loud!
Joey: They uh director. Uhh, her. (Points to an old woman standing behind him. Who glares at him and walks off.) All right, all right, it's not a gladiator movie. I work here.
Roger: That's tough. Tough stuff. C'mon, Pheebs, we're gonna catch that movie, we gotta get going.
[Scene: It's an old home movie of the Geller's backyard, young Ross is dressed up as Bea, and pouring himself/herself some tea.]
Dana: Absolutely! But you-you would really feel better about me rejecting you if your actor friend can audition for my movie?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross and Rachel are returning from a movie.]
Monica: Oh. Well then way to go you big movie star!
Ross: Correct. Her actual favorite movie is...
Phoebe: Sorry, mix up. Hey, how was the movie?
Chandler: They're not even paying ya! This doesn't even sound like a real movie!
Joey: C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are watching a movie.]
Chandler: So you don't get paid unless the movie makes money?
Chandler: Okay, so if an eight comes up, we take it as a sign and we do it! {Whoa! Where have I heard that before? Matthew Perry talking about signs in Las Vegas. I guess it must've been some movie I saw.} What do you say?
Chandler: So you knew we were gonna miss the movie!
Joey: Chandler, is that (Mimes someone using a movie camera and Chandler nods yes.)
Rachel: All right honey, we'd better go if we wanna catch that movie.
Joey: Oh, its a poster for that World War I movie that Im in, check it out.
Rachel: Hi! Well, we were just about to take off and see a movie. Oh no!
Joey: All right, so we should go catch our movie.
Rachel: Yeah actually, I think were gonna take off too. We rented a movie.
Phoebe: Oh! I wont say, no to a movie!
Joey: Okay. Okay, so Im writing you a check for So you fell asleep during my movie. Big deal right? How do you clear this thing?
Joey: They want me to be totally naked in the movie!
Phoebe: Hey oh, Rach wait! Do you want to go to a movie tonight?
Phoebe: The movie?
TRAINER: Hey don't take it personal, he's under a lot of pressure, ya know, starring in a movie and all.
(Ross stands next to him for a second, then goes and watches the movie.)
Chandler: I see, but once you get your first paycheck you'll be springing a big hotel suite, right? I mean, lead in a movie, they must be paying you a lot?
Ross: Uhh, not much. You guys want to see a movie tonight?
ROSS: Actually it's the movie theatre that has the time schedule. So you don't miss the beginning.
[Cut to later in that episode. Rachel and Phoebe are going to a movie from Monica and Chandlers, and as Phoebe walks by Chandler she pinches him on the butt and exits.]
Joey: No. (Phoebe grabs the receipt and shows it to Joey who gets mad.) I was told the name of the movie would not appear on the bill!
Rachel: Hi! Hey, remember how last night we were talking about that movie Cujo?
Rachel: Oh. Do you want to watch the rest of the movie with me?
Joey: No. No. But Ill go see a normal person movie with ya.
Phoebe: Wanna go see a movie?
Rachel: Ross, thank you. Hey, do you guys wanna go see a movie?
Joey: Nothing, Im just practicing blowing you off because Im gonna be a big movie star!
Phoebe: Thats a great movie. <she claps>
Joey: I saw this movie once where there was a door and no one knew what was behind it, and when they finally got it open millions and millions and millions of bugs came pouring out and they feasted on human flesh. Yknow it wouldnt kill ya to respect your wifes privacy! (He walks away and into his apartment and looks the door.) Stupid closet full of bugs!
Phoebe: There's your movie! <claps>
Monica: Star in a movie.
Chandler: no I'm not quite sure you got the right movie that's all.
Joey: Ha-ha, very funnyLook! I dont know what to do! I really want you guys to get along. Just please come to the movie with us. I mean you owe me!
Phoebe: (shocked) Oh, well, it's a shame that you-that you miss the movie 'cause we were gonna see, you know, either "Liar, Liar" or "Betrayal", or... "An Affair To Remember".
Joey: Oh, its this big budget period movie about these three Italian brothers who come to America around the turn of the century. Its really classy! Oh, and the director is supposed to be the next, next Martin Scorcese.