words in movies
Monica: (voice on answering machine) Hi! If youre calling before Saturday, youve reached Monica and Chandler. But if youre calling after Saturday, youve reached Mr. and Mrs. Bing! Please leave a message for the Bings!
Chandler: Mr. and Mrs. Bing! (Walks away.)
Mrs. Bing: Chandler!
Mrs. Bing: Oh honey! This is so exciting! I thought we screwed you up so bad this day would never come. Oh and just think. Soon therell be lots of little Bings. (He freaks out and loosens the tie again.)
Monica: Mrs. Bing? Here, these are my parents umm, Judy and Jack Geller.
Mrs. Geller: (shaking her hand) Its lovely to meet you.
Mrs. Geller: Jack!
(Mr. and Mrs. Geller start to walk away.)
Mrs. Bing: Charles.
Mrs. Bing: Dont you have a little too much penis to be wearing a dress like that?
[Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Geller talking to Ross.]
Mrs. Geller: You could kick anyones ass you want too.
Mrs. Geller: I certainly see what the girls like coming here.
Mrs. Geller: The sexy blonde behind the counter. (She waves at Gunther who waves back.)
Mrs. Geller: Yeah, the list thatof people were allowed to sleep
[Scene: The Hotel, Monicas room, Mr. and Mrs. Bing are staring at each other while Phoebe looks on.]
(Rachel and Mrs. Geller enter.)
Mrs. Geller: Here comes the bride.
Ross: Hi! (To Mrs. Bing) Hi! (Mr. Bing starts rubbing his arm.) Hi. Has umm, anyone seen Chandler?
Mrs. Geller: Well, he better not come by here. He cant see the bride in the wedding dress.
Mrs. Bing: As I recall when we got married, I saw the groom in the wedding dress.
Mrs. Bing: Honey, it isnt good luck.
Mrs. Bing: Oh look at you! So handsome!
Mrs. Geller: Oh I wish youre grandmother had lived to see this.
Mrs. Geller: Not that old crow, my mother. (They stop and she kisses Monica on the cheek.) Congratulations darling.
MRS. GREENE: I think I saw Rachel out in the hall.
Mrs. Bing: Well, its a funny story.
Chandler: Mrs. Braverman must be out. (They move closer to it.)
Mrs. Green: Plus, what are you planning on doing with the baby while youre trotting out to the garbage ten times a day?
Frank: (entering with his fianc�e Alice, who is obviously much, much older than he is) Hey! Hey! This is ah, my fianc�e, Mrs. Knight. (he points out Phoebe to her)
Mrs. Waltham: Well, if youre on e of Rosss best friends, why arent you here?
MRS. GELLER: Ahh, are you hadsome.
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: My mothers still alive.
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: Are you close with her?
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: Its not looking good.
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: She didnt pass.
MRS GREEN: If you didn't pour the coffee, no one would have anything to drink.
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: Thats so sweet. (Takes the flowers.) Would you like to come in and say good-bye? Im sure it would mean a lot to her.
Mrs. Geller: (To Monica) And you knew about this?!
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: No, shes hanging in there.
Monica: Well you-you did start that rumor about Ross making out with Mrs. Altman, our 50-year-old librarian.
Ross: Actually, it kinda is. My wife won't return my calls. I don't know where my wife is. (Laughs) "Hey Ross, where's the Mrs.?" Don't know!
Bandleader: Thank you very much! Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to introduce to you for the very first time, Mr. and Mrs. Chandler Bing!
Monica: Just a minute! (To Chandler) Thats Mrs. Tribbiani!
Mrs. Geller: Jack?
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: Yes?
MRS. WINEBURG: Well it's wonderful to have you up and about, again, dear.
Mr. and Mrs. Geller: Hi
Mrs. Geller: Thanks for going along with this.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, well Richard raved about the food at his party, of course you were sleeping with him. Then I heard the food at that lesbian wedding was very nice, I assume you werent sleeping with anybody there. Though, at least that would be something. (Leaves)
Mrs. Geller: Ross, why dont you give us your toast now?
Mrs. Geller: Rachel's coming up the path. Doesn't she look pretty. Jack... (Rachel enters with a huge nose)
Mrs. Geller: (crying) Oh Ross
[Cut to Rachel and Mrs. Green.]
Mrs. Green: Oh, hello Monica.
Mrs. Green: Well all right. Ill see you at four.
Mrs. Green: Oh Rachel!
Mrs. Green: Oh look.
Mrs. Green: Such a sweet woman.
Mrs. Green: Oh youre gonna do that ten times a day?
(Mrs. Green goes into the kitchen and Rachel follows her.)
Mrs. Green: Of course I am!
Mrs. Green: No dear, thats what babies do.
Mrs. Green: No. Sweetie, youre gonna be fine. (Starts to get up.)
Mrs. Green: Well Rachel needs help with the baby.
Mrs. Green: Youre gonna be a great father.
Cashier: Do you uh, want these things delivered Mr. and Mrs. Geller?
Mrs. Green: With another woman. Have you no control Ross?
Mrs. Green: Im going to the bathroom.
Mrs. Geller: (Looking around at the chapel.) Oh my God! Its like a fairyland.
Mrs. Geller: (entering) Am I interrupting?
(Mrs. Geller leaves as Ross re-enters the room.)
Mrs. Geller: Oh hi dear!
Mrs. Green: Well, I kinda did. Me. Eight weeks of me.
Mrs. Green: Darling, thats a breast pump!
Mrs. Geller: Thank you Monica that was uh, interesting. Wasnt it interesting, Jack?
Mrs. Geller: Youre not going to say anything? On our 35th wedding anniversary
Mrs. Green: I just had the greatest idea! Im gonna come live with you!
Monica: So whenever youre ready to apologize to me, I will forgive you. Good day! (Monica and Phoebe reenter the apartment and Monica closes the door on a stunned Mrs. Green.) I cant feel my legs!
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: It looked like we were gonna lose her this morning, but shes a tough old bird.
Mrs. Geller: Just hear me out!
[Scene: The Gellers' kitchen. Monica, Mrs. Geller and one of Mrs. Geller's friends are preparing the cake.]
Ross: Okay, look, how is this gonna affect you? Really? I mean you fill some form out once and a while and instead of checking the box that says Ms you check the box that says Mrs.! Its right next to it!
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: Well, her memory is pretty much gone.
Mrs. Green: Oh my look at that. Only three weeks to go, now have you picked your nanny yet? Now I dont want you to use your housekeeper cause it would just split her focus.
MRS. GELLER: Over here Jack. OK. I see, Rachel's coming up the path. Oh doesn't she look pretty. Jack, get this. [Rachel enters with a huge nose]
Mrs. Bing: Oh yes, Dennis is directing a new Broadway show.
Mrs. Geller: Sweetheart. Oh sorry were late, my fault, I insisted on riding the tube.
Brenda: Mrs. Bing, this tile cleaner is incredible! Whered you get it?
Rachel: Chandler, this is not addressed to you. This is addressed to Mrs. Braverman downstairs. (Gasping) Thief.
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is meeting with Mr. Posner, Mrs. Lynch, and Joanna the hiring committee.]
Mrs. Tribbiani: Do you remember how your father used to be? Always yelling, always yelling nothing made him happy, nothing made him happy, not that wood shop, not those stupid little ships in the bottle, nothing. Now he's happy! I mean, it's nice, he has a hobby.
Phoebe: All right, let's see, call me mrs Hannigan.
Monica: Okay! I will! Mrs. Green? Mrs. Green! (She ignores Monica and Monica follows her out into the hall with Phoebe in tow.) It is rude to leave a party without saying good-bye to the host! Yeah, and-and also when someone apologizes to you the decent thing to do is to accept it! Now what I did to you, it wasnt on purpose! But what youre during to me now is just plain spiteful!
[Scene: The Hallway, Ross comes out and hugs Mrs. Geller.]
Monica: Oh, I'm sorry, mrs Hannigan.
MRS. GELLER: I have no idea. Did you know Richard has a twinkie in the city?
Mrs. Geller: Oh honey, come on, have a sense of humour, youve never been able to laugh at yourself.
Monica: It is going to be okay! (Mrs. Green glances over her shoulder and glares at Monica while she heads for the bathroom.) It was worth a shot.
Phoebe: Well hello, Mrs. Penella! Thank you so much for coming! Well, okay look, here's your umm, 3-D glasses and Reverend Pong will tell you when to put them on.
Ross: I was really upset about Rachel and Paolo, and I think I had too much tequila, and Nora- um, Mrs. Mom- your Bing- was just being nice, y'know, and- But nothing happened, nothing- Ask Joey, Joey, uh, came in-
Ross: (goes over to Julio) Come here, here, come here, come here, (pause) Mrs. Buffay. Sorry, about what I said, umm, it was, it was insensitive of me to say that you were just a cat. When clearly you are also the reincarnated spirit, of my friends mother.
Mrs. Tribbiani: Well don't be, because now everything's screwed up. I just want it the way it was.
Will: Mrs. Altman? She also made out with Takaka Ci-Kek the night before he went back to Thailand.
Mrs. Geller: (entering) (to Monica) Honey, dont bite your nails.
Mrs. Tribbiani: Me? I'm fine. Look, honey, in an ideal world, there'd be no her, and your father would look like Sting. And I'll tell you something else. Ever since that poodle-stuffer came along, he's been so ashamed of himself that he's been more attentive, he's been more loving... I mean, it's like every day's our anniversary.
Mrs. Green: You cant leave a baby alone!
Mrs. Bing: Dennis is a dear old friend and a fantastic lover.
Monica: Son of a bitch! (Calls Mrs. Green again.)
Mrs. Burkart: (in grief) Jack used to handle the finances! (Breaks into tears)
Mrs. Burkart: (singing) You're a grand ol' flag, you're a high-flying flag, and forever in peace may you wave....
Mrs. Geller: Oh, we're having spaghetti! That's.... easy.
Rachel: Ugh! Look you guys, I'm really excited about this! Okay? I don't care what you think! I'm gonna go set up a little litter box for Mrs. Whiskerson. (They both glare at her.) Well, what am I gonna call her? Fluffy?!
MRS GREEN: Monica! You look gorgeous! Last time I saw you, it was eat or be eaten.
Chandler: Mrs Hannigan?
Ross: (Very politely) Mrs. Bing.
Mrs. Green: Spiteful?!
Rachel: Mrs. Bing, I have to tell you, I've read everything you've ever written. No, I mean it! I mean, when I read Euphoria at Midnight, all I wanted to do was become a writer.
MRS. GELLER: Well, I was thinking, why doesn't he give Monica a call?
Mrs. Green: and all those dinosaur nick-knacks you have Ross, I thought they might be more at home in the garage.
Mrs. Bing: There y'go. Ross?
(He moves Rosss coat to get the tissues and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that its an engagement ring.)
Rachel: Thirty. Ugh, I mean thirty! Monica, do you remember mean, old Mrs. Kreeger in the fifth grade? She was thirty!
Joey: (there's a gunshot on TV) There's my scene, there's my scene. [Joey on tv] "Mrs. Wallace, I'm Dr. Drake Ramoray, your sister's neurosurgeon. I'm afraid the situation is much worse than we expected. Your sister is suffering from a..." (Does the smell-the-fart look.)
Monica: Hey! Mrs. Altman was the kind of woman you could tell she used to be pretty.