words in movies
Monica: (voice on answering machine) Hi! If youre calling before Saturday, youve reached Monica and Chandler. But if youre calling after Saturday, youve reached Mr. and Mrs. Bing! Please leave a message for the Bings!
Chandler: Mr. and Mrs. Bing! (Walks away.)
Mrs. Bing: Chandler!
Mrs. Bing: Oh honey! This is so exciting! I thought we screwed you up so bad this day would never come. Oh and just think. Soon therell be lots of little Bings. (He freaks out and loosens the tie again.)
Monica: Mrs. Bing? Here, these are my parents umm, Judy and Jack Geller.
Mrs. Geller: (shaking her hand) Its lovely to meet you.
Mrs. Geller: Jack!
(Mr. and Mrs. Geller start to walk away.)
Mrs. Bing: Charles.
Mrs. Bing: Dont you have a little too much penis to be wearing a dress like that?
[Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Geller talking to Ross.]
Mrs. Geller: You could kick anyones ass you want too.
Mrs. Geller: I certainly see what the girls like coming here.
Mrs. Geller: The sexy blonde behind the counter. (She waves at Gunther who waves back.)
Mrs. Geller: Yeah, the list thatof people were allowed to sleep
[Scene: The Hotel, Monicas room, Mr. and Mrs. Bing are staring at each other while Phoebe looks on.]
(Rachel and Mrs. Geller enter.)
Mrs. Geller: Here comes the bride.
Ross: Hi! (To Mrs. Bing) Hi! (Mr. Bing starts rubbing his arm.) Hi. Has umm, anyone seen Chandler?
Mrs. Geller: Well, he better not come by here. He cant see the bride in the wedding dress.
Mrs. Bing: As I recall when we got married, I saw the groom in the wedding dress.
Mrs. Bing: Honey, it isnt good luck.
Mrs. Bing: Oh look at you! So handsome!
Mrs. Geller: Oh I wish youre grandmother had lived to see this.
Mrs. Geller: Not that old crow, my mother. (They stop and she kisses Monica on the cheek.) Congratulations darling.
[knock at the door, Monica answers to see Mrs. Greene]
Mrs. Geller: (incredulous) You dont know how that happened?! Your dog thought my diaphragm was a chew toy!
Mrs. Bing: Alright. (Kisses him)
Mrs. Geller: Do you know what it's like to grow up with someone who is critical of every single thing you say?
MRS. GREEN: [entering] There she is.
MRS GREEN: Oh hello, Ross.
MRS GREEN: Yes.
MRS GREEN: Well, not just for you.
MRS GREEN: Look at this.
MRS GREEN: No.
MRS GREEN: No.
Mrs. Geller: I'm not sure I know what you're getting at.
PHOEBE: [Mrs. Adelman's voice] Oh my god. Now I've seen everything! [Phoebe's voice] Whoa, she's gone. She's gone. She's gone! Go ahead, get married. Go, go.
MRS. GELLER: Hi darling.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, hi Rachel.
Mrs. Green: Look at that face! Just like when you were in high school! If I didnt know better Id say you were a cheerleader in trouble. Come on, lets get some tea.
MRS. GELLER: Why?
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) Oh no, I am a fabulous mom! I bought my son his first condoms.
MRS. GELLER: Well, you kids thank Dr. Burke for the ride?
PHOEBE: [Mrs. Adelman's voice] In my day, divorce was not an option.
MRS. GELLER: Really.
Mrs. Bing: You okay there, slugger?
MRS. GELLER: [they start kissing] Oh Jack stop.
MRS. GELLER: Oh?
MRS. GELLER: So, who's the mystery man?
MRS. GELLER: Well that's wonderful. . . I
MRS. GELLER: Oh please, a relationship.
Mike: Not possible! (they kiss, and then Mike says proudly...) She's gonna be Mrs. No Balls.
Mrs. Tribbiani: Of course I knew! What did you think? Your father is no James Bond. You should've heard some of his cover stories. "I'm sleeping over at my accountant's," I mean, what is that? Please!
MRS. GELLER: Sooo, Richard's shopping in the junior section.
Rachel: Yes, so close. Mrs. Lynch, I know that this is an emotional and difficult time, for all of us. But by any chance did Joanna send any paperwork your way before it happened.
PHOEBE: [Mrs. Adelman's voice] Talk about crap. Try listening to Stella Niedman tell the story of her and Rod Steiger for the hundredth time.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, Jack look, there's that house paint commercial that cracks you up. [the Gellers return to watching TV and Ross goes over to Monica]
Monica: I really like to say that Im-um (Pause) Yknow what Id really like to say? Im drunk!! (Mrs. Geller pulls the camera down.) Thats right mom and dad your little Harmonica is hammered!! (Ross grabs the camera out of his dads hands.) And guess what! Ive been drunk before! And Ive smoked a cigarette! And I got a box of Ding-Dongs hidden in my underwear drawer! Its all okay. Its okay because I turned thirty today. And, and I can do anything I want! Because I am a grown up. (Falls over sideways with Ross filming the fall.)
MRS BUFFAY: Schnoodle. Oh my God, what the hell happened to my dog?
MRS. GELLER: She never tells us anything. Ross, did you know Monica's seeing someone?
MRS BUFFAY: Yeah. Frank.
MRS BUFFAY: What are these, stitches?
MRS. GREENE: Well, my goodness, what was that?
MRS. GREENE: You thought I was Rachel?
MRS. GREENE: Happy birthday sweetie.
MRS. GREENE: Happy birthday sweetie.
MRS. GREENE: Ross, what're you doing.
MRS. GREENE: You wear bi-focals?
Mrs. Geller: Its nothing, its just that now your Father owes me five dollars.
MRS. GELLER: Ross, whose glasses are those?
MRS. GREENE: Hi Monica.
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
Mrs. Geller: No, I'd be hearing about 'Why didn't I get the honey-glazed ham?', I didn't spend enough on flowers, and if I spent more she'd be saying 'Why are you wasting your money? I don't need flowers, I'm dead'.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, Jack.
MRS. WINEBURG: You told me you didn't see anything.
[Scene: Mrs. Verhoevens Apartment, Ross is back to inquire about the elder Verhoevens health or lack there of.]
MRS. GREENE: Alright, Monica dear, I'm gonna hit the road. Now I've left my 10 verbs on the table. And you be sure and send me that finished poem.
RACHEL: Oh hi, Mr. Wineburg, hi Mrs. Wineburg.
ROSS: Hi, Mrs. Green. [He gets up to shake her hand, but she ignores him.]
MRS. GELLER: Oh, we were so sorry to hear about your parents splitting up, dear.
Phoebe: Mrs. Waltham. Hi. Its Phoebe again.
Mrs. Green: Well uh, I dont have a gift because I wasnt invited until the last minute, but thank you so much for bringing that to everyones attention.
Phoebe: Oh no, it is forbidden! No-no, Mrs. Potter fires people for fooling around with clients. And its against my oath as a masseuse.
MRS. GELLER: Richard. Richard. Your son isn't seeing anyone is he?
Monica: Excuse me, Mrs. Burkart? Well, we're all cleaned up in the kitchen.
MRS. GELLER: Which one? Which button, Jack.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, she just graduated, and she wants to be something in cooking, or food, or.... I don't know. Anyway, I told her you had a restaurant-
Mrs. Geller: Honestly! Ross, this isnt just some girl you picked up in a bar and humped. A child should have a family.
MRS. GELLER: You were fired? What're you gonna do?
Mrs. Geller: We know how expensive weddings can be, besides this may be the only wedding we get to throw (patting Monica on the shoulder.).
Mrs. Green: Its like youre a cave person. Rachel, you must get a nanny. You dont know how overwhelming this is going to be. I mean when you were a baby I had full time help, I had Mrs. Kay.
MRS GREEN: Oh, am I! I just danced with a wonderfully large woman. And three other girls made eyes at me over the buffet. Oh, I'm not saying it's something I wanna pursue, but it's nice to know I have options.
MRS. GELLER: Jack, give me that. Talk to your son.
MRS. GELLER: Oh hi kids. Hi darling.
(Mrs. Walthams phone rings and she answers it.)
MRS. GELLER: Dance with your father.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, maybe that's it.
MRS. GREENE: Oh well thank you. Such a gentleman. Thank you. [Chandler takes the hot pink coat and grimaces at it] Ahh, it all looks so nice, so festive, all the balloons... [Chandler, remembering that Joey and Mr. Greene are in the bedroom, throws her coat in a cupboard] The funniest thing happened to me on the way here. I was...[Joey peeks out]
Mrs. Geller: Sweetie, you think you can get in there?
Mrs. Geller: (rubbing her temples) Thats alot of information to get in in thirty seconds! Alright Joey, if wanna leave, just leave. Rachel, no you werent supposed to put beef in the trifle. It did not taste good. Phoebe, Im sorry, but I think Jacques Cousteau is dead. (Phoebe makes a sad face.) Monica, why you felt you had to hide the fact that you were in an important relationship is beyond me.
MRS GREEN: The only man I've ever been with is your father.
Rachel: It's not! I'm defrosting a chicken. (Pause) Oh, I uh sold Mrs. Whiskerson.
Ross: I-I heard about Mrs. Verhoeven passing away and Im so sorry for your loss.
Mrs. Tribbiani: I came to give you this (Gives him a bag of groceries) and this. (Whacks him round the ear)
[Scene: The Geller household kitchen, Monica and Phoebe are cooking for Mrs. Gellers party.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Mr. and Mrs. Geller are watching tennis on TV, Monica is sitting at the table]
MRS. GELLER: Get a shot of Monica. Where's Monica.
MRS GREEN: This is just so exciting. You know, I never worked. I went straight from my father's house to the sorority house to my husband's house. I am just so proud of you.
MRS. GELLER: [to Ross on the stairs] I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
Mrs. Green: All right you two, Im gonna get going.
Mrs. Bing: Car's waiting downstairs, I just wanted to drop off these copies of my book for your friends. Anything you want from Lisbon?
MRS. GELLER: So Jack, you ever think about trading me in for a younger model?
MRS BUFFAY: Yeah well, thanks for bringing back what's left of him.
Mrs. Green: Sweetheart I know youre gonna be terrific mom, I just think you need a little help, especially at the beginning.
MRS. GREENE: ...the scotch and the cigarettes...
Mrs. Geller: Me? I'm fine, fine. I'm glad you're here. ...What's with your hair?
MRS. GELLER: It seems your daughter and Richard are something of an item.
Frank: Hi, Mrs. Knight.
[Scene: The Hospital, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there, along with Aunt Lillian. Ross and Monica enter and everyone says hi and kisses.)
[Mrs. Geller and Ross both enter]
MRS GREEN: Sweetie! So this is where you work? Oh, it's wonderful! Is it a living room? Is it a restaurant? Who can tell? But I guess that's the fun.
Mrs. Geller: Um-hmm.
Mrs. Geller: Whats this? Blue nail polish?
Mrs. Geller: Just think about it. If you dont, Ill talk more about humping.