words in movies
Ross: I dont know whether hes testing me, or just acting out, but my monkey is out of control. But, he keeps erasing the messages on my machine, "supposedly" by accident.
Phoebe: The woman who cuts my hair!
Phoebe: Its mostly just dumb sister stuff, you know, I mean, like, everyone always thought of her as the pretty one, you know... Oh, oh, she was the first one to start walking, even though I did it... later that same day. But, to my parents, by then it was like "yeah, right, well what else is new?"
Monica: Ross, thats my jacket.
Ross: Hi, um, Im err, (has to clear his throat) Im Ross Geller, and err ah... (pats Carols bulge) ..thats, thats my boy in there, and uh, (points) this is Carol Willick, and this... is Susan Bunch. Susan is um Carols, just, com... (embarrassment finally overwhelms the poor fellow, who becomes incoherent until) ..whos next?
Chandler: Well, it throws my WENUS out of whack.
Phoebe: Well, I mean, Im not my sisters, you know, whatever, and um... I mean, its true, we were one egg, once, but err, you know, weve grown apart, so, um... I dont know, why not? Okay.
Ross: Okay, Im gonna play my sperm card one more time.
Chandler: Hey, listen, I know I came in late last week, but I slept funny, and my hair was very very –
Phoebe: Well, what I really want is for my mom to be alive and enjoy it with me.
Mr.Heckles: I can hear you through the ceiling. My cats cant sleep.
Phoebe: Ooh, my first birthday present... (delightedly examining the cardigan in her lap) ..oh, this is really...
Nina: Maybe. But that doesnt explain why they keep taking my scissors.
Nina: Oh my god! (Rushing over to give him a big hug) Youre amazing!
Phoebe: Um, yeah. Look, I mean, Im not saying shes like evil or anything. She just, you know, shes always breaking my stuff. When I was eight, and I wouldnt let her have my Judy Jetson thermos, so she threw it under the bus. And then, oh, and then there was Randy Brown, who was like... Have you ever had a boyfriend who was like your best friend?
Phoebe: I mean, I know Joey is not my boyfriend, or my thermos, or anything, but...
Joey: You stepped on my egg roll?
Joey: Oh my God!
Rachel: Im sorry, as I was saying the store number is wrong, and Im sorry but thats... (notices a fire that Rosss candle has started) Oh my God!!
Joey: Look, Rach, Rach! I've been with my share of women. In fact, I've been with like a lot of people's share of women. The point is, I've never felt about anyone the way Ross felt about you.
Ross: Not well. I went on the subway again and someone did sit on my hand but that person was neither female nor wearing pants.
Chandler: It still wouldnt be clean. (Rachel makes an Eww, disgusting! face) All I want is my freedom.
Monica: Alright. My job here is done.
Rachel: Oh my God.
Rachel: Oh my God... What.. What are you guys doing here?
Monica: Mm-mh. I printed them out on my computer.
Chandler: That sounds like my first bike. (They all turn and look at him.) My dad gave me his old one.
Ross: Oh my God!
Ross: No! No! Oh my God. Did she get off the plane? Did she get off the plane?
CAROL: I mean, I knew they were having trouble with this whole thing, but they're my parents. They're supposed to give me away and everything.
Ross: Uh-huh. Well, when the psychiatrist told me I had to take a leave of absence because I yelled at my boss I started to get worked up again, so he offered me a tranquilizer. And I thought was a good idea so, I took it.
Chandler: He's not right for the part. So if I suggest him, my bosses are gonna think I'm an idiot! And that's something they should learn on their own!
Sarah: (laughing) No. If I can't have your clams, you can't have my dessert. This is a two way street.
Eric: Okay, I just slapped my future sister-in-laws ass.
Joey: Good, and hey! My treat. (He turns to go into his bedroom then stops.) But that's only because you're not eating anything, right?
Monica: That's because as far as my parents are concerned, Ross can do no wrong. Y'see, he's the Prince. Apparently they had some big ceremony before I was born.
Rachel: Oh, youre one of those. But yknow what? I have two sisters of my own and we just-just tortured each other.
RACHEL: Ok, while you "mmm" on it for awhile, I'm gonna go find a place for my new lamp.
Monica: Ok worse case scenario is...we borrow some money from my parents.
Ross: Well, we're applying to a lot of them. Naturally our first choice would be one of the bigger state zoos, y'know, like, uh, San Diego... right? But that might just be a pipe dream, because, y'know, he's out of state. Uh, my vet, uh, knows someone at Miami, so that's a possibility.
Monica: Oh yeah that's what you want - my inhibitions lowered.
Phoebe: All right, I'd better go too. I have to go talk to my dad.
Ross: once you know the stories, its not that bad. First marriage, wifes hidden sexuality, not my fault. Second marriage, said the wrong name at the altar, a little my fault. Third marriage, well they really shouldnt allow you to get married when youre that drunk and have writing all over your face, Nevadas fault.
JOEY: All right.� All right.� Then, maybe you won't mind if me and my friend take a look around, huh?� (He checks the bathroom shaking the bat.� Then he proceeds to their bedroom.)� Bwa-ah-ah!
Phoebe: Oh, I'm not gonna do this, okay? I'm not gonna eavesdrop on my friend.
Ross: My God. Rachel! (He walks towards her, grasps her hands and kisses her on the cheek.) Your here. I cant believe it. (She giggles.) What happen? Why are you here?
Joey: Oh, hey, how about this one. Ah, its says so in the script! Y'know ah, I-I dont know why my character likes you either, I mean it says in the script here that youre a bitch.
Joey: Oh yeah! I got in there myself once. My roommate bet me five bucks that I couldnt, and then he stuck a board through the handles that locked me in. Yeah. It was funny til I started feeling like I was in a coffin.
Will: I actually know what youre talking about. Im here to tell you something my friend, you can eat and eat and eat but nothing will ever fill that void.
Rachel: It's so that I can spend Thanksgiving with my family. See, every year we go skiing in Vail, and normally my father pays for my ticket, but I sort of started the whole independence thing, you know, which is actually why I took this job.
Emily: As my lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, until death parts us.
Ross: Not since my cop-show got cancelled.
Chandler: Well, if the magician can open my beer with his but cheeks, then all right.
Stevens: (coming back in) Oh, excuse me. I forgot my briefcase y'know, by accident.
Jessica Ashley: (shocked) Oh my God! I won! Do you have any idea what this means?! (She rolls her eyes and throws it onto the couch.)
Chandler: I dont know, my mother spent most of her money on her fourth wedding. Shes saving the rest for her divorce. And any extra cash my father has he saves for his yearly trips to (Pause) Dollywood.
Monica: Hi, sorry. I almost didnt hear you, because yknow Im just so in love with my new husband. Were on our honeymoon.
ROSS: Mom, there are so many people in my life. Some of them are seeing people and some of them aren't. Is that crystal?
Rachel: Oh, that was just my crazy friend. She told me I should get off the plane, because she had a feeling that there was something wrong with the left Philange.
Joey: Twelve hundred dollars? You think I have $1200? Im home in the middle of the day, and I got patio furniture in my living room. I guess theres a few things you dont get from book learnin.
Ross: Oh, well he's obviously late and the rule in my class is "if you can't come on time, then don't come at all". (pause) An option that many of my students use. (pause) Shall we?
Rachel: Oh my God! Calling from Rome! (Takes phone) Bon giorno, caro mio.
Rachel: And that was so sweet of you to ask! Oh my God, the three of us are gonna have such a good time living together!
Chandler: Excuse me, look, we've been here for over an hour, and a lot of people less sick than my friend have gone in. I mean, that guy with the toe thing? Who's he sleeping with? (She slides the gladd panel over and Chandler talks through it in a loud voice.) Oh, c'mon Dora, don't be mad... I know we both said some things we didn't mean, but that doesn't mean we still don't love each other. (To the waiting room.) Y'know, I feel like I've lost her.. (She slides the panel back, he turns, and it takes him by surprise.) Ba-!
Phoebe: No, I know, Im just nervous. Y'know its just y'know Moms dead, dont talk to my sister, Grandmas been sleeping a lot lately. Its like the last desperate chance to have a family, y'know, kinda thing. Youre so sweet to wait with me.
Joey: (going over and picking up the rod) Thats all right. Hey you guys, you know whats going to be great about the fishing trip this year? When my dad gets me out in the middle of the lake and gives me that, "Joey, what are you doing with your life?" stuff. I can say, "Well, Im doing a movie with Charlton Heston dad. What are you doing with your life?"
Ross: Oh. Listen, do you think- and try not to let my intense vulnerability become any kind of a factor herebut do you think it would be okay if I asked you out? Sometime? Maybe?
Rachel: Oh its all right. Im guess Im just done with the whole dating thing. Its one more thing in my life thats suddenly completely different. This is hard.
Rachel: My father had an heart attack... (crying) ...while I was at Barney’s.
Joey: You know what? You are my friends, I wanna be supportive, I will come with you. SHOTGUN!
Chandler: (smiles) Pull my finger(Looks at his hand)My hand is messed up.
Phoebe: My medallion number is, "Get out of the cab!"
Joey: Oh come on man, you can dance with my partner, shes real, uh, mellow!
Big Nosed Rachel: Guess what?! All that stuff about Nancy Branson being a slut was all a rumor so Chip dumped her and he wants to come over to my house tonight!
Phoebe: Oh my God, it's all so elegant! When's the dirty stuff starting?
EDDIE: Ohhhh. Relax, take it easy buddy. Tell me twice, you want me to go? Alright, alright, guess I'll be back for my stuff. [walks out the door and after a pause comes back in] But if you think for one second I'm leaving you alone with my fish, you're insane Jack!
Monica: Its not like I want to get married tomorrow! Its just that I-Id like to believe that Im in a relationship thats actually going somewhere, that Im not just wasting my time!
Ross: (walks up) Wow Monica! Hey, just so you know I had my uh, older brother chat with Chandler.
Joey: Y'know what? I don't need this! Okay? I don't know why you're dumping all over my big break.
Rachel: Oh we did, but my mom got us the greatest gift of all.
EDDIE: Not Sean Penn. Alright, I, I've got a funny one, alright. My last girlfriend Tilly. Ok, we're eating breakfast, right, and I made all these pancakes, there was like 50 pancakes right. And all of the sudden she turns to me, alright, and she says, 'Eddie.' I say, 'yeah,' she says, 'Eddie, I don't want to see you anymore.' And it was literally like she had reached into my chest, ripped out my heart, and smeared it all over my life, ya know. And now there's like this incredible abyss, ya know, and I'm falling and I keep falling and I don't think I'm ever gonna stop. [finishes laughing] That uh, wasn't such a funny story, was it?
Joey: No-no! I used to get paid for all kinds of medical stuff, remember? Lets see uh, well I dont want to donate sperm again. (To Ross) I really prefer doing that at the home office yknow? (Ross nods his head.) Ooh-ooh, maybe they want like some of my blood or-or spit or something, huh?
Rachel: Ok, careful, ok. (Emma giggles) Oh, she’s smiling! Oh my God, she does like it!
Guru Saj: (entering) Hello, I am Guru Saj-(sees the duck)-Whoa!! (to Joey) Thats supposed to be a duck right? Cause otherwise, this is waaay out of my league.
Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, Im gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, Ill set you up with a clean one. (She throws it at the garbage without looking, misses, and knocks over a vase and flowers, which fall to the floor and break.) Okay, Im sorry. I didnt mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? Cause lets face it, were at Monicas. (She crawls over, disposes of the diaper, picks up the flowers, and the vase.) I broke it. All right. Well, thats just the way that goes. (She throws out both the flowers and the vase.) Okay, good. (She turns around and only counts two babies.) Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you cant answer. (She starts looking for her) Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! (She turns around and finds that Leslie has managed to crawl into the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet.) Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! (She picks her up and notices a surprise is waiting in the drawer.) Oh, youre a lot mischievous! Well, itll dry. (Closes the drawer with her foot.) (To Leslie) Okay, you sit with your brother and sister nowwho arent there! (They both have disappeared as well.)
Phoebe: Thats right, exactly. (sees them) All right, its a good bye kiss, thats good. (Frank picks Alice up and they move to the couch) Bye-bye. (They both lie down on the couch and start to make out.) Okay, no, the important thing is that you see what Im saying, y'know, just y'know, this is clearly wrong. (They ignore her) Okay, Ive decided Im gonna let this happen! Okay, can I just get my purse? (She reaches in and Alice moans) Okay, all right, good. (leaves).
Rachel: Oh, you know what - my first impression of you was absolutely right. You are arrogant, you are pompous ... Morgan! Morgan! Tag's last name was Morgan! Huh!
Ross: And in my defense, the cleaning lady came on to me!
Monica: Okay. I can do that. (Pause) I gotta go powder my ass.
Joey: Oh, you know, the writing was good, and the director is good, and... and my co-star's good but they're not as good as me!
Joey: Look, I'll get new headshot taken, all right, so I want to get my eyebrows shaped
Chandler: No, it's like all of the sudden, we were this couple. And this alarm started going off in my head: 'Run for your life! Get out of the building!'
Ross: So weird to see all these people again... Oh my God, look, there's Geoffrey Cleric.
Ross: Oh, they'll like me. Once they come to my awesome PAR-TAY! Okay, I gotta run. I gotta go get some nametags. (Exits.)
Phoebe: I did it! One mile on a hippity-hop! Thats it!! Thats everything I wanted to do before I was thirty. Oh, except I wanted to patch things up with my sister. But oh well. Yay!! (They all cheer again.) And-and girls this thing is a Godsend if you know what I mean. (Rachel and Monica look intrigued and as they all head into Central Perk, Rachel picks up the hippity-hop that Phoebe left behind.)
RACHEL: Ya know, I mean this is supposed to be a joyous occasion. My sister's graduating from college, nobody thought she would. It's a true testament to what a girl from long island would do for a Celica.
Ross: (hands Chandler his pad and walks in) I want my turkey now!
Phoebe: No! It�s my first birthday with a boyfriend, and he has to work. Uch, I get mad at him, but I think it�s a little to soon to show my true colors.
Rachel: Oh really? So youre saying they just slid out of your bottom drawer, crawled across the floor, then jumped on to my desk?! (I think Dogbert should have a line here.)
Paul: No! No! Its just that, my dad never did. I miss my dad.
Joey: (To Ross, on the couch) Now, here's a picture of my mother and father on their wedding day. Now you tell me she's not a knockout.
Ross: Oh much, much worse. I did my impression of Joan Rivers as one of the earliest amphibians... (gestures with his hands and says in an impression voice?) "Can we walk"? (Phoebe starts laughing) Oh, you... you like that?
Cliff: No, Im sorry. Its just my foot itches like crazy.
Chandler: Okay. (pause) And get ready to taste my very special cranberries. Or should I say... chanberries!
Ross: Oh. Yeah. (Sarcastically) Uh Chandler let me win. No, Chandlers really strong. Oh my arm is so sore. Oh nurse! (Waddles over to Mona.)
Monica: Okay, now that everything's wrapped up here, I think I'm, I'm gonna go do my laundry.
Ross: Because I am bored...Out of my mind. Ive already been to the bank, post office, and the dry cleaners.
Joey: You should see the treatment I get when Im with that car! People are friendly; they-they wanna talk, and not just about the car! One guy gave me advice about my equity investments.
Rachel: Hey, yknow, at least you have somebody to miss that stuff with! I hate being alone this time of year! Next thing you know itll be Valentines Day, then my birthday, then bang!before you know it, theyre lighting that damn tree again. Ohh, I want somebody! (hearing this, Gunther moves in) Yknow, I want a man!! (Gunther leaves depressed) I mean, it doesnt even have to be a big relationship, yknow, just like a fling would be great.
Monica: Oh my God! Oh, this is incredible! Ohh! (she rolls over and kisses him on the cheek) All right, y'know what? Im just gonna roll right into that office and-and quit!
Joey: I play Al Pacino's butt. All right? He goes into the shower, and then- I'm his butt. Monica: (trying not to laugh) Oh my God. Joey: C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big! Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's- it's- y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into show business. Joey: Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me! Ross: You're right, you're right, it is.
Phoebe: Yeah, did she sound happy about it? 'Cause my friend Ethel's baby was born with a teeny, tiny beard.
Hums While He Pees: No its Uh, my ex-wife Whitney is out there. I cannot deal with her right now. That woman is crazy!
Carol: I don't care. I am trying to get a person out of my body here, and you're not making it any easier.
Ross: Oh my God, he just said your name, thats great! Good job Ben.
Chandler: A Speedo? Uh, I dont have a Speedo. Im gonna go pack my regular long bathing suit. (Goes into the bedroom.)