words in movies
{Transcribers Note: This is an hour-long special episode. Which means that the first part of this episode is episode 615. The second part of this episode is episode 616. Since episodes 615 and 616 are combined into one file, thats why there is no episode 616 in the season 6 table of contents and the numbers jump from episode 615 to 617.}
Phoebe: No! Barry and Mindy.
Ross: The first time! No seriously, imagine if Carol hadnt realized she was a lesbian.
Ross: No, I just think Monica was that fat.
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Ross: No, no-no, Ross Geller.
Ross: No, its okay. Some-some kid asked me to pick it up for him, but I dont
Ross: Uh-huh. (Steps to a random kid nearby and hands him his money.) Hey, here you go buddy. Sorry, no porn for you. (To Rachel) Okay, lets go see Monica!
Monica: Oh no! Whats the matter?
Chandler: Hey, I may have no money, but I still have my pride.
Monica: No Joey! Chandler could be your assistant! See, he could answer all of your fan mail and stuff!
Phoebe: Ohh thats so sweet! (Her cell phone rings.) Oh! Hang on! (Quickly grabs a cigarette and starts to light it as her phone rings.) Hang onnnnnn!!! (Gets the cigarette lighted and answers the phone.) (On phone.) Go!! No! No-no! I said sell when it hits 50! 5-0, its a number! It comes after 4-9!! No, its okay. Its okay, youre allowed one mistake. Just kidding, you are of course fired.
Monica: Ohhh! (Takes the plate.) No! This is my friend Rachel, we went to High School together.
Monica: No.
Phoebe: (yelling from Monicas room) No-no!! No!!
Phoebe: No! There-there was a little, a little diff in the market and I lost 13 million dollars.
Joey: I thought we talked about this. I dont like pulp. No pulp. Pulp isnt juice. All juice, okay?
Ross: Well I dont know umm, (Pause) what if we were too tie each other up? (Carols shocked and obviously doesnt like that idea.) Umm, some people eat stuff off one another. (Carol doesnt like that idea either.) Nah! Umm, yknow we-we could try dirty talk? (Carol still says no.) Umm, we could, we could have a threesome.
Phoebe: No! Its not a cigarette! The smoke is coming out of me!
Ross: (on the phone) Hello? (Listens.) No she cant come to the phone right now. (Listens.) Oh, right no problem. Okay, bye-bye. (Hangs up.)
Chandler: No, the doctors say it may kill her.
Monica: No! Umm well, some people say that Oysters are an aphrodisiac.
Monica: No-no-no, no! Its sensual!
Monica: Okay! (They kiss again and his beeper goes off.) Ohhh no!
Monica: No. Hes not a horrible guy.
Chandler: No you are not! You are sweet and wonderful and this is gonna happen for you.
Monica: No! (They both laugh.) Oyster?
Monica: I have no moves. (He moves in to kiss her and she laughs and backs away.) Okay, whatcha doin there?! (Giggles.) Oh yknow what? Im sorry, this is just too weird.
Joey: No! No! No, not after seeing that.
Rachel: No! No-no-no
Phoebe: No. Ive learned my lesson.
Ross: No! The reason Im asking is that I sorta had one last night.
Ross: No, she kept kicking me away!
Ross: No!
Chandler: Let me tell you about this chick I scored with last night! Oh no wait a minute that was you!
Ross: Umm, no.
Rachel: No seriously! Seriously! What has happened to the sanctity of marriage?
Chandler: No, there were two.
Ross: Oh, no! No-no! No, I tired! But I couldnt. Thats why Im here. Maybe we could attack them together? (He glares at him.) That-thats a no.
MIKE: No.� Just his mom.
Monica: No!
Joey: Look, Ross, really its-its no big deal. Yknow you wear a white coat, I wear a blue blazer, if that means we cant be friends at work, then so be it. Yknow, hey I understand. Yknow? Hey, when Im in a play and youre in the audience, I dont talk to you, right? So its yknow, its uh, its cool. Ill see you tomorrow. (Leaves)
Chandler: Haha, no thanks!
Phoebe: Oh no, we have to!
Joey: No, but with this new car smell, you'll think you do.
Monica: No.
Ross: No, Rachel got pulled over for speeding. She forgot her licence so now I have to bring it to her.
Phoebe: Ok. Do we have to talk like that then they're not around? (She sees Rachel) Oh, no, no! Listen, is there someone who can fill in for me?
RACHEL: Oh, God, no problem. So you're gonna go with the uh, waiting thing?
Joey: Alright, alright, hey yknow fair is fair, (he pretends to wash his hands) if youre right, youre right, what can I say, but hey oh no! (He throws water on the guys pants)
Chandler: No, no, I'm just looking for a man to draw on me with chalk.
Phoebe: (relived) Oh, whew, no, that's Bob.
Monica: No, no, no, I don't make chocolate pies. When I was younger I-I enter in this pie-eating contest. I ate so many that just the thought of them made me sick.
Guru Saj: (He starts moving his hands around in circles above the thing.) Ross, there is absolutely no way this is going to come off unless you start to
Phoebe: No ones here! (Monica looks at her.) Oh damnit!
Mike: No, no, to test his neck strength.
Joey: No, no, it's not, don't listen to him! (to Ross) I'm gonna thump you! (points his fist at him)
Phoebe: No, but it sounds like it was fricken funny...
Molly: No, where did you study acting?
Joanna: No, we are. Im sad.
Phoebe: No, no, no. It's not! It's not my mom. It belonged to mom. Yeah, no, she used to put it out every Christmas to remind us, that even though it's Christmas, people still die. And, you can put candy in it. (She grabs the skull, pulls out a stick of licorice, and takes a bite.)
Mike: No, I think you're sweet.
Monica: Oh no! My parents have never seen me drunk! (Pause) That they know of.
CHAN: No, I don't even think he knew. Hey, would you sleep with somebody to get a great job?
Rachel: No.
Joey: No! Hey no! This is wrong you guys! Phoebes our friend! Well, Im not gonna watch it!
Monica: No way! You had your party, now I have mine! Is everything alright?
Chandler: No, no I just ah, didnt do them. Instead, I ah, hung out with a couple of friends and had a couple of beers so I certainly dont deserve any praise, verbal or otherwise.
Chandler: No!
Monica: No no, it's not working on me. Wow! I must be growing up!
MONICA: No no, the father can, but um, since I am the roommate I can tell you that she's not here and I'll pass along the message, ok. So bye-bye.
Rachel: No not that. I kissed Gavin last night.
Rachel: Mrs. Bing, I have to tell you, I've read everything you've ever written. No, I mean it! I mean, when I read Euphoria at Midnight, all I wanted to do was become a writer.
Ross: No. When he called, I...I threw the message away.
Phoebe: No. They said you 'Weren't believable as a human being.' So, you can work on that.
Rachel: Oh no no no
Molly: No I'm here to take Emma to your mother's, remember?
Monica: No I told you I can't.
Chandler: No, hes right, Im totally lying.
Ross: No, its not just cause Im jealous. (Both Monica and Chandler give him a Come on look) I mean Im not, Im not, Im not jealous, okay? Its Look, the guy, he screamed, he actually screamed at this couple sitting in our seats.
Joey: Wow! Im so sorry; I had no idea it would bother you this much.
Chandler: No problem.
Rachel: No! No, I am not getting in a car with Ross, we will just have to live here!
Michelle: No, wait, you don�t have my phone number!
Rachel: No, so I dont have to get married until Im 33! Thats three years, thats three whole yearsOh, wait a minute though. Ill need a year and a half to plan the wedding, and Id like to know the guy for a year, year and a half before we get engaged Which means I need to meet the guy by the time Im thirty.
Phoebe: Well thats no way to sell newspapers. Why dont you try, "Extra! Extra! Read all about it!"
Joey: No, hey, it's been great.
Phoebe: No! No! I just went to pick up Phoebe Buffays checks; there were a lot of them.
Monica: No, it's not.
Ross: No!
Rachel: No. No, I dont. Could you be a dear and go tell him?
Rachel: No.
Chandler: No, no, no.
Monica: No, we weren't!
Joey: (covering his ears and yelling) Oh no! No! No! (He starts banging on the door.)
Dana: No, no "How you doing?" Man, I mean not even a cup of coffee first!
Phoebe: Hmmm... No, no... No, I can't do this. It's bad.
Rachel: Oh, oh no. Do you think she walked in, saw you and left?
Phoebe: I think it's just y'know that I haven't been with a guy in so long and how sometimes you're looking for something and you just dont even see that it's right there in front of you sipping coffeeOh no, have I said to much? Well it's just something to think about. I know I will.
Phoebe: No! No, her cab! She probably won't be using it; you can drive it to Las Vegas.
Rachel: Well, yeah, right, yknow what? Yeah, youre right, I mean, we no, we have our fun. Yeah! But if (Grunts uncomprehensively) I mean, I mean like craaaazy! Yknow? Okay, all right. This is gonna, this is gonna sound yknow, a little umm, hasty, but uh, just go with it. Umm. Ugh. What if we got married?
Rachel: No you really think that's what it is?
Phoebe: No...I really wanted to know how you feel about it.
Phoebe: Oh yeah you were helpful! Yeah, no, thanks you.
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross is trying to open the door with a credit card, with no success.]
Mike: No.
Rachel: No thats just(Laughs)Thats just cause Im such a good messer!
Rachel: Oh, no! Who did that?
Joey: Do you believe in ghosts, yes or no?
Phoebe: Oh no-no, no, I made a promise to myself that the next time I would talk to Ursula would be over my dead body. And thats not happening til October 15th, 2032.
Director: Oh no! You get up there and do that again exactly like that!
Chandler: Hello? Oh hi, Doctor Connelly. (pause) No, she's not here but, you know, I can tell her. Should I be sitting down for this? (his smile fades as he hears the answer) Oh. (pause) Well, so what does that mean? (pause) Ok. Ok, thank you. Thanks. (hangs up)
Monica: No, no! Give it to me!
Joey: Oh, no don't worry about that, I swallowed that years ago.
Chandler: No, come on, you know that's not true.
Ross: No! That would be stupid! You're having it for me!
Phoebe: No, I think we killed it.
Joey: No, sorry haven't seen him.
Monica: Huh, and no cuddling.
Chandler: Fowl? No. Women? Nooo.
Ross: No thanks!
Mike: Oh, err... no, she's not here yet. You know, I think I'm just gonna take off and break up with her over the phone...
[That's all folks, no teaser; just the big cliffhanger for season 6. Yes, there will be a season 6, and it'll start again in September. Have a good summer everyone!]
Ross: It isn't ridiculous, look around! No one's here!
Monica: Un, no you didn't! You must be mistaken!
Everyone: NO!!
Phoebe: No, what's more important, your friends or money?
Rachel: No, she was just much better at job than me!
Ross: Oh yeah, no no no...that's great!
Chandler: No.
Phoebe: Oh no!You guys aren't supposed to get divorced for 7 years!
Actress/Olivia: No, I told you...get out!
Rachel: NO! (pause) Or, cut!You know, that's your call!
Phoebe: No, you can�t go. No-no-no, I can�t hold this table on my own. If they ask me to move, I cave.
Phoebe: (pause) Ok, say no more.
Rachel: You guys are unbelievable. No! He cannot come.
Amy: no, no, then I would get the baby. I mean you know it would be just like a movie. Like at first I wouldn't know what to do with her, then I would rise to the occasion and and then I would get a makeover and then I'd get married.
Rachel: No, I'm saying...