words in movies
{Transcribers Note: This is an hour-long special episode. Which means that the first part of this episode is episode 615. The second part of this episode is episode 616. Since episodes 615 and 616 are combined into one file, thats why there is no episode 616 in the season 6 table of contents and the numbers jump from episode 615 to 617.}
Phoebe: No! Barry and Mindy.
Ross: The first time! No seriously, imagine if Carol hadnt realized she was a lesbian.
Ross: No, I just think Monica was that fat.
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Ross: No, no-no, Ross Geller.
Ross: No, its okay. Some-some kid asked me to pick it up for him, but I dont
Ross: Uh-huh. (Steps to a random kid nearby and hands him his money.) Hey, here you go buddy. Sorry, no porn for you. (To Rachel) Okay, lets go see Monica!
Monica: Oh no! Whats the matter?
Chandler: Hey, I may have no money, but I still have my pride.
Monica: No Joey! Chandler could be your assistant! See, he could answer all of your fan mail and stuff!
Phoebe: Ohh thats so sweet! (Her cell phone rings.) Oh! Hang on! (Quickly grabs a cigarette and starts to light it as her phone rings.) Hang onnnnnn!!! (Gets the cigarette lighted and answers the phone.) (On phone.) Go!! No! No-no! I said sell when it hits 50! 5-0, its a number! It comes after 4-9!! No, its okay. Its okay, youre allowed one mistake. Just kidding, you are of course fired.
Monica: Ohhh! (Takes the plate.) No! This is my friend Rachel, we went to High School together.
Monica: No.
Phoebe: (yelling from Monicas room) No-no!! No!!
Phoebe: No! There-there was a little, a little diff in the market and I lost 13 million dollars.
Joey: I thought we talked about this. I dont like pulp. No pulp. Pulp isnt juice. All juice, okay?
Ross: Well I dont know umm, (Pause) what if we were too tie each other up? (Carols shocked and obviously doesnt like that idea.) Umm, some people eat stuff off one another. (Carol doesnt like that idea either.) Nah! Umm, yknow we-we could try dirty talk? (Carol still says no.) Umm, we could, we could have a threesome.
Phoebe: No! Its not a cigarette! The smoke is coming out of me!
Ross: (on the phone) Hello? (Listens.) No she cant come to the phone right now. (Listens.) Oh, right no problem. Okay, bye-bye. (Hangs up.)
Chandler: No, the doctors say it may kill her.
Monica: No! Umm well, some people say that Oysters are an aphrodisiac.
Monica: No-no-no, no! Its sensual!
Monica: Okay! (They kiss again and his beeper goes off.) Ohhh no!
Monica: No. Hes not a horrible guy.
Chandler: No you are not! You are sweet and wonderful and this is gonna happen for you.
Monica: No! (They both laugh.) Oyster?
Monica: I have no moves. (He moves in to kiss her and she laughs and backs away.) Okay, whatcha doin there?! (Giggles.) Oh yknow what? Im sorry, this is just too weird.
Joey: No! No! No, not after seeing that.
Rachel: No! No-no-no
Phoebe: No. Ive learned my lesson.
Ross: No! The reason Im asking is that I sorta had one last night.
Ross: No, she kept kicking me away!
Ross: No!
Chandler: Let me tell you about this chick I scored with last night! Oh no wait a minute that was you!
Ross: Umm, no.
Rachel: No seriously! Seriously! What has happened to the sanctity of marriage?
Chandler: No, there were two.
Mischa: (to Monica) Oh, hes unbelievable. I mean for the first time in three years somebody wants to actually want to talk to me, but do you think he would let me enjoy that, no!! (to Sergei) You silly diplomat, why dont you learn some English, Sergei?
Chandler: No way!
EDDIE: No help required Chico. [reaches into the tank and grabs the fish and puts it in his pocket]
Phoebe: Oh my God!! (She runs after him, but sets of the security system, which locks the stores door and brings down a set of bars behind her, caging her in.) No! What?! Help me! Let me out! Now! (Points the musket at them.)
Phoebe: Well, so what I like him! Do I make fun of the people youve dated? Tag, Janice, Mona? No, because friends dont do that. But, do you want my opinion? Do you want it? Cause in my opinion, your collective dating record reads like the whos who of human crap. (Walks off)
Hooker: Uh, no. But I could pretend to strip, but thats gonna cost extra. Okay, heres the extras, handcuffs, spanking (Chandler grunts for her not to continue and Joey pulls him back into the kitchen.)
Ross: No, four minutes ago you had a half hour, we have to be out the door at twenty to eight.
Pete: Oh no, not the thing. I hate the thing. Whats the thing?
Phoebe: (turning from Ross.) No!! Hey-hey that's not a Nutter-Butter, that's just an old Wonton!
Pete: Wait, wait, wait, wait, thats-thats what youre worried about? If thats the problem, weve got no problem.
Ross: Well, Im just saying, I mean why else would he just, y'know, swoop in out of nowhere for no reason.
FBOB: Oh, no, no, it's about you.
Ross: No youre not.
Joey: No, I don't think it's just about just getting a girlfriend. Y'know? I mean, yeah, I can get a girlfriend! Yeah, we could sit in the chair and do crosswords, but y'know are we ever going to have y'know the closeness like-like you guys have?
Phoebe: No.
Phoebe: No.
Ross: (on phone) Ok, ok, sweetheart, I'll see you later. Ok, bye. What? (Sits down next to Rachel) Oh, that is so sweet. No, no, ok, you hang up. Ok, ok, one, two, three. (Doesn't hang up and motions for Rachel to be quiet) Well you didn't hang up either.
Phoebe: No.
Phoebe: No.
JOEY: Oh no, can't invite her. She also steals.
Pete: Nooo. Uh-huh, no way. What? No.
Woman No. 1: Hi, can I help you?
Chandler: No, no, no, actually losers rhyme.
Ross: Uh, no, its-its just this person.
Rachel: I believe you. So, it was right in the middle of a staff meeting so of course no one else wants to correct her so everyone else is calling me Raquel! By the end of the day, the mailroom guys were calling me Rocky!
Phoebe: No.
Man: Umm, no, I dont think so.
Ross: Oh no! That-thatll just bring me down! This was great! I mean I-I-I was great! This is a great day! Yknow what? Im buying everyone coffee. All right? If someone would just grab my wallet, its in my pocket.
Mr. Geller: (going downstairs) Rachel, ready or not, here comes your knight in shiningOh no. (Chip has shown up and the four are leaving.)
MONICA: Um, yeah, so uh, uhh, listen, I'm sorry I didn't tell you this before but umm, I, I'm no longer at my job, I, I had to leave it.
Joey: No, they-they werent in the play.
Joey: No. Why?
Kate: No. You?
RACHEL: No no, 'cause mayo, that would make it gross.
Ross: No! The guy is mean. I mean really mean. I think you should stay away from him.
Phoebe: No, Im really okay with this. Yknow why? Cause look at them, and I made that, so I know its gonna be like a million times harder to give up a baby but, oh my God, its gonna feel like a million times better, right? I wanna do this. (To Frank and Alice) I wanna carry your baby.
Chandler: No!!
The Girls: No, not getting my bra!
Ross: No, no, I mean, I mean a thing on my body.
Ross: No. No, y'know you dont, you dont wear enough of this. (Rachel is shocked) What?
Jason: No, no?
Phoebe: (stopping him) No! No!
Ross: No?
Ross: No Joey! Look why dont, why dont we just let her decide? Okay? Hey-hey, well each go out with her one more time. And-and well see who she likes best.
Zack: No it's just tiring having to figure out the age at which all my grandparents died. I'll see you tomorrow.
Friend No. 2: Rachel! Rachel! (stirs Rachel from her dream, shes in her car driving back from the city)
Phoebe: That’s right, I've prepared a song for Emma. From my heart to hers. For there’s no greater gift, than the gift of music. (she starts singing) Emma! Your name poses a dilemma. 'Cause not much else rhymes with Emma! Maybe the actor Richard Crenna, he played the commanding officer in Rambo. Happy birthday Emma!
ROSS: No, um, see 'cause that, that is, that is the staging area. If you go in there, it'll ruin the whole illusion of the party. Yeah, I think you take your scotch back in there and I will get your cigarettes for you sir.
Doug: No, its a wedding ring. You gotta get rid of it. Were gonna go to the East River right now and throw it in there!
(She turns her head away and when shes not looking, Phoebe shakes her head and mouths, "No, Im not." Both Joey and Ross smile, look at each other, and then stop smiling.)
Rachel: No. No, no, I'm not ready! How can I be ready? "Hey, Rach! You ready to jump out the airplane without your parachute?" Come on, I can't do this!
Rachel: Oh no Dr. Long, please come in. This is Ross, he is the father.
Phoebe: I, but youre so close! No!
Phoebe: Oh no, Bonnies the best!
Leslie: No, no, I dont want to forget it.
Chandler: No sir.
Monica: Well, no. But...
Phoebe: Yeah! Why would my mother send me a fur? Doesn't she know me but at all! Plus, I have a perfectly fine coat that no innocent animal suffered to make!
Ross: No, I-Im saying I liked her.
Joey: No, yeah, no, ok, but not yet. I don't wanna seem too eager. One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi. That seems pretty cool. (he walks over to her) Hey, Angela.
Chandler: (loud) Ken, please! No, I can�t, I can�t smoke. If I smoke, my wife would kill me.
Phoebe: (happily) Yeah, no, it was great.
Phoebe: No, and so there's no one to walk me down the aisle and... well, I would just really love it if you would do it.
All: No, no!
Monica: Ah no, the other Phoebe, the one you went to go see.
CHANDLER: No, I can't. No no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, [puts bracelet on Joey] it's about you and me and the fact that we're [reading bracelet] best buds.
Phoebe: Oh no. No-no-no, dont do that! How could I live with myself if I knew I was depriving the world of your music.
Ursula: Umm, no. See I already thought she was dead so I kinda made my peace with it. Plus, I'm going to a concert tomorrow. So I'd invite you, but umm, I only have two tickets left.
All: Oh, no!! No, no!
Ross: Ahh, no, Im good.
Rachel: No, I'm sorry, we're all out of those. Anybody else?
Chandler: (to Rachel) You know what I just realized? We have no idea what we're doing in the wedding tomorrow.
Chandler: No, actually Lauries a boy.
Chandler: No! (Calls) Danielle, hi! It's, uh, it's Chandler! (Listens) I'm fine. Uh, listen, I don't know if you tried to call me, because, uh, idiot that I am, I accidentally shut off my phone. (Listens) Oh, uh, okay, that's fine, that's great. (Listens) Okay. (Puts down the phone.) (to Monica) She's on the other line, she's gonna call me back. (He starts doing a little jig.) She's on the other line, she's gonna call me back, she's on the other line, gonna call me back...
Phoebe: YOU DID NOT!!!! Oh! No! You came up with Relaxi Cab! Thats not good.
Chandler: Excuse me, Doug? (no reaction) Hey there sports fan!!
Monica: Im getting married!!!! Im gonna be a bride!!!! (Someone else yells at her.) No, I will not shut up because Im engaged! (He yells again.) Ohh, big talk! Huh, why dont you come over here and say that to me?! Huh, buddy?! Yeah, my fiancee will kick your ass! (Chandler starts to look worried.) Come on, apartment 20! Apartment 20!
Phoebe: No! No, the robots just work for them.
Ross: No! I balanced my checkbook.
Susan: No shouting, but we still need a name for this little guy.
Joey: No?
Dr. Zane: No, Im sorry.
Carol: No. But its okay, Ill just put out pickles or something.
Chandler, Monica, and Joey: NO!!!
Monica: No! (Pause) But, theyre callin out to me! I mean this little guy (Holds up a small one) even crawled up into my lap. Oh come on, Chandler wouldnt mind if I opened just one present! What do you think it is?
Phoebe: Like shes really mean, and shes over critical, and-andNo! She will paint a room a really bright color without even checking with you!
Phoebe: No.
Ross: Oh no. Dont, dont, dont start packing. Come on! (She puts some clothes into her bag, and Ross throws them out.)
Phoebe: Ross, went to get a cab so we can all... No, wh-what are you doing! No, Monica, no!
Phoebe and Rachel: Oh no.
PHOEBE: No no no, doggie please. Oh, I do so wanna love all animals, please no.
Ross: No, it's not a divorce, it is not a divorce! Anyway, I think Rachel and I need to, you know, get on with our lives, maybe, maybe start seeing other people.
Phoebe: What the smell from Joeys? No, I can hardly smell it over here.
Ross: No you dont.
Mrs. Tribbiani: Of course I knew! What did you think? Your father is no James Bond. You should've heard some of his cover stories. "I'm sleeping over at my accountant's," I mean, what is that? Please!
Rachel: No, it's not better. I still don't get to see you.
Monica: Oh, no. He doesn't have time for that. But if you want, you can go help him and Joey pack up the guest room.
Monica: (entering) Ross (who has his foot on the coffee table), foot on the floor or come over no more!
Rachel: No so were protecting her.
Ross: Its no surprise that your winning, cause you got to pick first, so you got the better team.