words in movies
{Transcribers Note: This is an hour-long special episode. Which means that the first part of this episode is episode 615. The second part of this episode is episode 616. Since episodes 615 and 616 are combined into one file, thats why there is no episode 616 in the season 6 table of contents and the numbers jump from episode 615 to 617.}
Phoebe: No! Barry and Mindy.
Ross: The first time! No seriously, imagine if Carol hadnt realized she was a lesbian.
Ross: No, I just think Monica was that fat.
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Ross: No, no-no, Ross Geller.
Ross: No, its okay. Some-some kid asked me to pick it up for him, but I dont
Ross: Uh-huh. (Steps to a random kid nearby and hands him his money.) Hey, here you go buddy. Sorry, no porn for you. (To Rachel) Okay, lets go see Monica!
Monica: Oh no! Whats the matter?
Chandler: Hey, I may have no money, but I still have my pride.
Monica: No Joey! Chandler could be your assistant! See, he could answer all of your fan mail and stuff!
Phoebe: Ohh thats so sweet! (Her cell phone rings.) Oh! Hang on! (Quickly grabs a cigarette and starts to light it as her phone rings.) Hang onnnnnn!!! (Gets the cigarette lighted and answers the phone.) (On phone.) Go!! No! No-no! I said sell when it hits 50! 5-0, its a number! It comes after 4-9!! No, its okay. Its okay, youre allowed one mistake. Just kidding, you are of course fired.
Monica: Ohhh! (Takes the plate.) No! This is my friend Rachel, we went to High School together.
Monica: No.
Phoebe: (yelling from Monicas room) No-no!! No!!
Phoebe: No! There-there was a little, a little diff in the market and I lost 13 million dollars.
Joey: I thought we talked about this. I dont like pulp. No pulp. Pulp isnt juice. All juice, okay?
Ross: Well I dont know umm, (Pause) what if we were too tie each other up? (Carols shocked and obviously doesnt like that idea.) Umm, some people eat stuff off one another. (Carol doesnt like that idea either.) Nah! Umm, yknow we-we could try dirty talk? (Carol still says no.) Umm, we could, we could have a threesome.
Phoebe: No! Its not a cigarette! The smoke is coming out of me!
Ross: (on the phone) Hello? (Listens.) No she cant come to the phone right now. (Listens.) Oh, right no problem. Okay, bye-bye. (Hangs up.)
Chandler: No, the doctors say it may kill her.
Monica: No! Umm well, some people say that Oysters are an aphrodisiac.
Monica: No-no-no, no! Its sensual!
Monica: Okay! (They kiss again and his beeper goes off.) Ohhh no!
Monica: No. Hes not a horrible guy.
Chandler: No you are not! You are sweet and wonderful and this is gonna happen for you.
Monica: No! (They both laugh.) Oyster?
Monica: I have no moves. (He moves in to kiss her and she laughs and backs away.) Okay, whatcha doin there?! (Giggles.) Oh yknow what? Im sorry, this is just too weird.
Joey: No! No! No, not after seeing that.
Rachel: No! No-no-no
Phoebe: No. Ive learned my lesson.
Ross: No! The reason Im asking is that I sorta had one last night.
Ross: No, she kept kicking me away!
Ross: No!
Chandler: Let me tell you about this chick I scored with last night! Oh no wait a minute that was you!
Ross: Umm, no.
Rachel: No seriously! Seriously! What has happened to the sanctity of marriage?
Chandler: No, there were two.
Ross: No way.
Ben: No more pranks.
Mike: No but... You don't want to get married either right?
Dr. Green: Who is the father? Oh no! Please dont tell me its her! (Points at Phoebe.)
Phoebe: No, I made myself take an oath. Yeah, no fooling around with clients and umm, always be prepared. Yeah, that ones actually from the Boy Scouts, but it just makes good sense.
Gunther: No!
Jill: No! They did! (Points to Phoebe and Ross)
Chandler: No! (The oven dings.) Shhh!
MNCA: Oh, isn't he? Oh, you know, I really think this time it may work with him. I mean, he just makes me feel so good and I've been feeling so lousy this last couple of months, no job, no boyfriend. Well, at least my cup is half full.
Ross: No, you stop!
Jill: No you stop!
Rachel: Oh there is no way.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is answering the door in his robe.] CHAN: No, no, no, no, no, no [opens door to Monica] No. Monica, it's Sunday morning. I'm not running on a Sunday. MNCA: Why not? CHAN: Because it's Sunday. It's God's day. MNCA: OK, if you say stop, then we stop. CHAN: OK, stop. MNCA: No, c'mon, we can't stop, c'mon, we've got three more pounds to go. I am the energy train and you are on board. Woo-woo, woo-woo, woo-woo [Chandler walks out of the apartment, leaving Monica] Woo. [Scene: Rachel and Monica's apartment. Rachel is taking asprin. Ross enters.] ROSS: Hey Rach. RACH: Ahhhh. ROSS: Oh. And how was the date? RACH: Umm, I think there was a restaurant... I know there was wine. . . [Rachel looks at Ross as though she remembers something, but can't place what it is.]
Joey: Yes! Didnt you ever read Sports Illustrated?! No! I didnt read yours! But come on, we can go to the game tonight!
Joey: No, Im gonna!! Thats right! Yeah, you made me feel really guilty about goin out with that girl! Like-like-like I did something terrible to you! And now Pheebs, youre doing the same thing!
Pete: Oh, it's good news. No, it's definitely good news. Hold on a second, I have another call. (clicks his remote) (to his other call) Hey, how's it going?
Joey: No! Its not okay! Its not okay at all!! Youre dead inside!!
Ross: Or you can sit with him on the front porch and make sure no one steals the trash cans. He does that every week too.
Rachel: No.
Rachel: No.
Rachel: No! None! I mean, my first night in the city, he mentioned something about asking me out, but nothing ever happened, so I just... (to Joey): W-well, what else did he say? I mean, does he, like, want to go out with me?
Chandler: Theres no back to this couch!
Monica: No you robot!!
The Old Man: No. I'm all alone.
Ursula: No Im not.
Joey: Oh no, not you too!
Rachel: No seriously, yknow the contracts I gave you, did you overnight them?
Emily: No ones ever thrown me a surprise party before!
Chandler: Yknow what? I am going to take you out to dinner tonight. I found this place that makes the greatest mozzarella sticks and jalepino poppers . (Monica doesnt look impressed.) No? Really? They taste so good.
Alice: (laughs) No. No. No. (Sits down.) Okay, now, see, I wanna name the girl baby Leslie, and Frank wants to name one of the boy babies Frank JR. JR.
Monica: No because it-it didnt seem important.
JOEY: Olive loaf and ham spread, no mayo.
Mike: (sighs) No...
Rachel: Oh no! No! No-no-no-no! No, I mean come on thats-thats crazyI mean thats crazy. So whats-whats going on with you? What is going on with you?
Chandler: No not okay, you cant look for Monicas presents!
Mr. Geller: (angry) No.
Joey: Well, no, not exactly! All right, look, I, I wasn't trying to save Ross. Okay? My sandwich was next to Ross. All right? I was, I was trying to save my sandwich.
Rachel: No! There is.. there is noone else!
Chandler: No! I want a flabby gut and saggy man breasts!
Monica: No, that is what the game is.
Chandler: Oh, no, no, no, don't go! I've scared ya'! I've said too much! I'm hopeless, and awkward, and desperate for love!! (Janice leaves, Chandler then calls Janice to leave a message on her machine) Hey, Janice! It's me. Um, yeah, I-I-I just wanna apologize in advance for having chased you down the street. (runs out the door)
ERNIE: Bert, Bert. Bert. Hey, what happened to my friend Bert? He was here just a moment ago. Oh no, my old friend Bert is lost.
Rachel: What? Maybe I put it in here (she opens her bag). Oh, oh, it's not in there! Oh, no! I must have packed it in one of these boxes!
PHOEBE: No, it's just like, ya know, it's a whole mess of stuff, ya know. It's like, yesterday, ya know, my dad was this, like, famous Burma tree surgeon guy and, ya know, now he's a, a pharmacist guy and. . .
Phoebe: No! Look-look! Theres the coffee table they stole from us!
Rachel: No, its all right. I got nice boobs. (Phoebe and Monica nod there heads in agreement.)
Phoebe: No kind. He just makes it up.
Phoebe: Okay. (He grabs his gun and shoots the bird.) Oh! Oh no.
Rachel: Oh, what are you going to do?! Are you gonna go run tell Monica?! Are you gonna tell Joey?! No! Because then you will have to tell them what we did! We are desert stealers! We are living outside the law!
Joey: (entering) No! No! No! No! No! How you doin?! How you doinDamnit Carl! Go wait in the hall! (Goes into the hall.)
Ross: I cant believe no one believes me!
Chandler: No, I hope not! I tried to offer him some money, but he wouldnt take it.
Monica: No. It was painful. Oh my God , they should call it Pain-zine, now with a little wax.
Ross: No, its a concept!
Phoebe: No.
Ross: No.
Ross: How about we settle this right now! (He rips up the tickets.) There! Now, no one's going to the game. Ha-ha-ha!
Janine: No, I just thought it was cute.
Ross: All right, thats it! (He runs over to Ben, but he runs past him and out the door.) Comeyouno! You are in big trouble young man!
CHANDLER: No, Stephen Hurs was the kid who would eat anything for money, David Stein was the guy who had no elbows.
Ross: No, I ran. It was really far, and when did people stop understanding the phrase, "Get the hell out of my way!"
Phoebe: Yeah. (phone rings and Phoebe answers it) Hello. (listens) Oh my God, I totally forgot! (listens) Well cant someone else do it. (listens) But, I have company. (listens) Yeah, no look, thats all right Ill come in. (hangs up phone) Um, Frank, Im really sorry but I have to go to work. Its-its one of my regulars and hes insisting that I do um.
Rachel: No! Wait! Come on!
CHAN: No, no, see? See? [the printer starts to run] Hey, it's printing. [to Joey, rattled] Hey, it's printing!
Elizabeth: No, let's just leave the lights on.
Ross: Wait! No! Ben, come here! I am not kidding!
Rachel: No you guys (She walks out into the hallway.)
Phoebe: Oh, look-look, Joey's on TV! Isn't that great? My pledge got Joey on TV! Oh that makes me feelOh no! (Realizes that her deed made her happy and therefore it's selfish and covers her mouth in horror.)
Ross: No. No-no. No. What would you do next?
Phoebe: Oh, no, I meant that its weird that you only have nine now.
Phoebe: No, Joey! You borrowed my cab; you have to drive it back.
Phoebe: No, not usually. But yeah, I could use one right now.
Chandler: No, we only went out once.
Ross: (exiting the bathroom) That-that-thats all right, no honey, you take your time sweetie. Ill be right out here. (She slams the door in his face, to the gang) Shes just fixing her makeup.
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) Hey, can you send somebody up and down 76 and check every rest stop, and, and also 93? (listens) Okay! (hangs up) Yeah, no they dont do that.
Ross: No really, I-I am! I feel bad!
Phoebe: Well no, it was my fault so you should get the nice room.
Ross: Umm, no. No.
Phoebe: No, but hes always late.
Phoebe: (stopping her) No Rachel! They got here first!
Chandler: No, that was Dana Caplin.
Joey: No thats all right. Dont worry about it.
Joey: Oh, no! (Starts that screaming thing again. Rachel stops him by pulling his fingers out of his ears.)
Elizabeth: No, I have some turning 21 to do.
Ross: What? No! Of course, of course I do! Are-are they gone?
Elizabeth: Uh no, theyre still here but I think Im about to leave.
Chandler: No! No! No! I was so careful! (Runs out.)
Chandler: No, we'll-we'll bring it back! Just put it under your dress.
Ross: Freaked out? Hey no, Im not freaked out! Im indignant! As a consumer!
Ross: Uhm no! Think less of you! No, I don't think less of you. I mean, you saw someone you liked and you kissed them. I mean, those people who like someone and don't kiss them... those-those people are stupid, I hate those people.
Ross: No, but it is frowned upon.
Rachel: Oh no-no-no! No, I got this all under control.
ROSS: Ok. No, hey, whoa, whoa, I'll get your coat.
Phoebe: Oh no, no, no, no... That's okay, that's okay... I mean, I'm... I am a vegetarian... except for veal... Yeah no, veal I love...
Rachel: No. (grabs an eggroll) And then I called him, and he wasnt there.
Sebastian: Uh, no not really. Why?
Phoebe: well there is no Vicrum, Ross made him up because I never really have been in a long-term relationship, I've never lived with a guy, and I've never even celebrated an anniversary so. (Pause) if that's too weird for you and you wanna leave I totally understand. In fact I'll close my eye's make it less awkward (She sits with her eyes closed and Mike kisses her, Phoebe opens her eyes and like a little child says.) You kissed me.
Monica: No! You cant do that!
Joey: No! I wont leave you!
(They start trying to trade babies while holding one each. They have no idea how to do it, so they just shift the babies around in their arms. They give up pretty quickly.)