words in movies
Joey: Well, no not yet. But the audition went really good.
Monica: Yeah. But a part of me also cant wait til its over. Chandler and I have this pact not to have sex again until the wedding.
Joey: I dont know! Its not like its porn! This is a serious, legitimate movie. Yknow? And the nudity is really important to the story.
Chandler: Yknow Im-Im really glad we decided not to sleep together before the wedding.
(Cassie enters from the guest room, with her hair up. The extremely beautiful and sexy Denise Richards is playing Cassie. Woo hoo! For those of you who dont know who she is, rent Wild Things and she was also the last Bond girl in The World Is Not Enough.)
Chandler: I was not staring at her. Okay? I was just listening intently. Its called being a good conversationalist. Watch. (Stares at Monicas eyes.) Say something.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah sure, just long as its handled tastefully and that barn is not too cold.
The Casting Director: So uh well the director is insisting that whoever play that part be authentically, anatomically not Jewish. Do you know what Im saying?
The Casting Director: An Italian Catholic immigrant at this time would not be
Monica: Joey! This is not like learning to ride a horse! This is like learning to grow a turtleneck!
Monica: Well Im not sure yet, but umm of the top of my head Im thinking double sided tape and some sort of luncheon meat.
Joey: The Silly Putty! Its not so silly anymore!
Ross: (in his head) Say something clever! (Pause.) Okay, doesnt have to be clever, it just has to be words. Say some words. (Pause) Any words will do. (Pause) Oh my God! This is the longest that anyone has not talked ever! (Pause) There is nothing you can say to make this worse!! So just say something!! (Pause.) (To her) I-I, I uh havent had sex in a very long time. (She leaves.) (In his head) Yeah, you really shouldnt have said anything.
Monica: Well no wait a minute thats not true! No, what did, that was really sweet. And it kinda works out for the best.
Joey: Oh! Hey right! Not a problem. (He starts taking off his clothes.) I totally understand. You need to yknow make sure I dont have any horrible scars or tattoos. Dont you worry; I have nothing to hide. (He drops his pants and stands back up and looks down.) So there you go, thats me. (We cut to a camera angle looking at the casting director and movie director through Joeys legs.) One hundred percent natural! (Suddenly, theres a thud as something falls off.) (Everyone is shocked.) I tell ya, that has never happened before.
Phoebe: (in her head) Say something! Say anything! Ask her out! Shes not your cousin!
Ross: Monica! (She appears, not sure why she was summoned.)
Frank: No, your a masseuse, its cool, Im not a cop.
Joey: You're not gonna like it.
Rachel: That's not Ross!
Ross: That's not advice!
Chandler: Yknow what? Its gonna be okay. Yknow what? Shes probably not gonna even want to come.
JOEY: How do we say yes now and make it seem like we're not doin' it just to ride in the cool car?
Joey: No, no, it's not, don't listen to him! (to Ross) I'm gonna thump you! (points his fist at him)
Joey: I do. Theres uh, lets see, Guy With a Mustache, Smokes-A-Lot Lady, Some Kids Ive Seen, and A Red-haired Guy Who Does Not Like To Be Called Rusty.
Bob: I just had a meeting, I was actually hoping to get transferred up here, but I just found out its not gonna happen. Apparently somebody thinks Im not eleventh floor material. Say uh, who the hell is this Chandler?
Chandler: All right everybody! Just be quiet! Be quiet! Be quiet!! Pipe-pipe-pipe down! (They settle down) What is the matter with you people?! This woman was trying to do a nice thing for you. She was making candy so she could try to get to know all of you, and Ill bet that not one of you can tell me her name! Am I right?
Phoebe: Oh, ok, you know what I don't get? The way guys can do so many mean things, and then not even care.
Tommy: (noticing the chick) Ooh, hey! Hey, there little fella. (picks up the chick) Mr. Fuzzy-Man, how are you doing? (starts to pet him) Aww. (The chick poops on his hand.) Eww! Oh! Eww! Gross! Idiot!! Stupid little, fuzzy, yellow creature!! Oh look at me, Im so cute, Im a little chick whos disgusting! God, youre so stupid, how are you not yet extinct!! (the duck wattles behind him and quacks) (to the duck) Quack-quack, quack-quack!! What are you quacking about?! Dumb Donald Doo-Doo!!
Chandler: Oh, because we love kids. Love ‘em to death.Well, not actually to death, that's just a figure of speech - we love kids the appropriate amount... as allowed by law.
Monica: Phoebe, I did not have sex.
Joey: Oh, I chose not to hear that.
Rachel: Please! We did not fog Danny! Who's Danny?
Ross: All right, all right. You-you-you know what I'm going to do? I am going to order another pizza and when Caitlin gets here, you-you--I will show how well I flirt. Yeah! I will, I will get her phone number! (To Chandler) And not the one on the menu!
Chandler: Why not? We could give each of them half a medallion, and then years later, they'll find each other and be reunited. I mean, that's a great day for everybody.
PHOEBE: Yeah, but, ah, ah, nothing has to happen.� We're just having fun.� You know, not everything had to go as far as "eye-contact."
Rachel: Y'know, it is not like I did this on purpose.
INTERVIEWER: You sure they haven't gone bad? You're sure they're not very, very bad?
Ross: Y'know what? I'm really not in the mood.
Joey: (thinks) I'm not sure.
Pete: Its okay, its not as bad as it looks, its a precaution. Ah, Im not supposed to move my spine.
Ross: Im-Im not kidding. Look I-I, I cant have three failed marriages. I cant. Okay? I-I am not gonna be that guy!
Mrs. Geller: Theres nothing to discuss. Were not paying for your wine cellar.
Rachel: All right. Look. Gavin...I...I guess I felt guilty that you were here, which I shouldn't. You know Ross and I are not inany relationship but...he is the father of my child, and you know we do live together and plus there is just so muchhistory...you know it's just...I don't know, I'm sorry, I'm just all over the place.
[Scene: Chandler's office, Chandler looks around, opens his desk drawer, takes a puff of a cigarette, sprays around some air freshener, and takes some breath spray. He types for a little while, opens the drawer again, and takes another drag of the cigarette. While not paying attention, he sprays the breath spray around the room, takes a squirt of air freshener and gags.]
Monica: And you're not gonna do that.
PHOEBE: I told you not to do that yet. And, she wants to do a video.
MNCA: Oh, not at all. I have no morals and I need the cash.
Rachel: (she goes towards the others and she's very excited) Guys, you're not gonna believe this! I was just saying goodnight to Emma and she said her first words!!
Chandler: Not even on page 7?
Chandler: Oh I just got another rejection letter. They said my writing was funny, just not "Archie Comic funny."
Monica: You're not gonna be phased out!
Rachel: No Phoebe! You cannot get the phone that way; thats not fair! Okay look, I have an idea. Why dont we, why dont we see what kind of number he has on his speed dial, and then from that we can tell who has more in common with him. And then whoever does gets the phone.
Chandler: This is not going to work.
Ross: Well, they're not mine!
Janice: On no! No! Its not good-bye, Im not leaving until you get on that plane.
Ross: No, its Its not that. Umm, now what Im going to say to you, Im not saying as your friend. Okay? Im-Im saying as it as Monicas older brother.
Carol: Whats not funny?
Rachel: Oooh, honey, you're not a total loser.
Rachel: How could you not tell me that she has hair?
Monica: You can't fire me. I make your decisions and I say, "I'm not fired!" Ha!
MONICA: If you're not going then I don't want to go either.
Chandler: Not quite. Monica's still at the salon, and I'm just finishing packing.
Joey: Oh hey, no, you're not welcome. Okay, look, I hate this! You guys keep embarrassing me! (To Monica) Yesterday, Rachel found your razor in our bathroom and I didn't know what to say, so I said it was mine and-and that I was playing a woman in a play. And one thing led to another and (He puts his leg on the chair and pulls up his pants leg to reveal that he now has shaved legs.)
Rachel: That was not funny!
RACHEL: No, listen to me. I fell for you and I get clobbered. You then fall for me and I again, somehow, get clobbered. I'm tired of being clobbered, ya know, it's, it's just not worth it.
Chandler: Yeah, I'm not so worried.
Rachel: What? Uhh, Phoebe, honey, honey, I know you're quirky and I get a big kick out of it, we all do actually, but if you destroy a coat like this that is like a crime against nature! Not nature, fashion!
Emily: (on answering machine) Hello Ross? It's Emily. (Rachel runs back into the room with the tequila.) I know this is out of the blue but uh, I'm getting married tomorrow. Well, maybe I am. I keep thinking about you and I'm wondering if-if we made a mistake giving up so fast. Are you thinking about me? Of course you're not, but if you are, call me tonight. Okay, bye.
Joey: Hey, hey, look! It’s not about a few fries... it’s about what the fries represent.
MONICA: Alright, you see these little flower blossoms? They should be facing up, not down, because, well, the head of the bed is where the sun would be. You don't love me any more do you.
Joey: It's not.
Fat Monica: I know, but y'know, this time you're gonna definitely know whether or not you did it!
CHAN: It's my game. You want the job or not?
Rachel: All right Paul, Im not asking for a lot here. Okay? Just give me something. Anything!
RACH: She is not Rachem. What the hell's a Rachem? Is that some stupid paleontology word that I wouldn't know because I'm just a waitress.
Chandler: Cause its-its not his last name.
Rachel: Okay, maybe they are not funny to you
Ross: Joey's not going.
Ross: Yeah, not since I got too strong for you.
Dina: Were gonna be all right. I mean, even if were not married this baby is gonna be so loved. Not just by us.
Monica: Hi Amanda! Actually now... it’s... is not a good time. Dinner tomorrow night? (Phoebe mouths 'no') Ok, Phoebe and I will see you then!
Rachel: Yeah I know, and I bet you thought it would be weird. But its not!
Rachel: No-no, they're not very nice people.
Rachel: I'm not reading this!
Monica: Were not gonna have sex! Okay, nothings changed here. He still doesnt want children and I still do, so thats why were just gonna be friends.
CHANDLER: Alright, that's it. Look Joey, I'm sorry, I realize this is the role of a lifetime for ya, and if I could just fire Joseph, I would, but unfortunately that's not possible so I'm gonna have to let both of you go.
Phoebe: No, Im-Im not sure about Hulk, but I like the idea of a name starting with "The."
Chandler: No. No, not at all, thats-thats ridiculous.
Joey: I'm not listening to you!
Chandler: Look, I'm sorry I didn't give them your tape. And I promise, next time to submit you whether I think you are right for the part or not.
Rachel: Well, y'know what, no, you do not make my decisions because y'know what, you're fired.
Rachel: It's not a baby! It's a cat!
Rachel: I know, I get it, but Mona, what relationship is not complicated? I mean we all have our baggage! You must too! Why else would you still be single? (Mona looks at her.) I am so gonna leave right now. (Ross opens the door for her and she leaves.)
Monica: I'll get it! (She runs in, and she's her old fat self like The One With The Prom Video. Not only that, she's out of breath after running a short distance. She goes over and opens the door to reveal Rachel with her old nose.) Happy Thanksgiving!
Jill: All right, Im leaving! Because Im not going to spend one more day with someone whose out to sabotage my every move. Thats you Rachel!
Rachel: No!! No! Hes not married, or involved, with anyone!
Big Nosed Rachel: Oh totally, totally. Y'know it's not that big of deal, we already kinda did it once y'know.
Chandler: I hope you know what Im giving up for ya, because shes not just the boss in your office, if you know what I mean.
Phoebe: That game should not be played without my supervision.
Kara: (out of breath and mouths) I'm not all right.
Chandler: You're not even giving them a chance!
Monica: Joey hes not even thinking about going after Rachel!
Chandler: Okay y'know what, because you said that, I'm not putting out tonight.
Pete: Y'know what, dont be. This is not, dont be, cause its not so bad.
Monica: I'm telling you, something's wrong! My brother does not stay out all night.
Monica: No. Hes not a horrible guy.
PHOEBE: I, I don't know what to say. I mean, you know, you're married to someone for six years and you think you know him and then one day says, 'Oh, I'm not gay.'
Ross: This couch, is cut in half! I would like to exchange it for one that is not cut in half!
Ross: I am not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical!
Chandler: But we're not ready to tell yet!
Joey: Look no, I-I know its bad, and I know its wrong. Okay? But-but its not like anythings ever gonna happen. Yknow? These-these are just feelings, theyre gonna go away.
Phoebe: Oh no, Im not playing tonight.
Chandler: Okay. Listen-listen, were not gonna have to walk this way the entire time are we?
Joey: Pathetic mess? I know, butcome on, man, she's needy, she's vulnerable. I'm thinkin', cha-ching! (Rachel throws a roll at Joey. He picks it up and eats it.) Thanks. Look, you have not been out with a woman since Janice. You're doin' this.
Rachel: Theres been a teeny-teeny change in plans. It turns out that Im not free tonight. So