words in movies
Joey: Well, no not yet. But the audition went really good.
Monica: Yeah. But a part of me also cant wait til its over. Chandler and I have this pact not to have sex again until the wedding.
Joey: I dont know! Its not like its porn! This is a serious, legitimate movie. Yknow? And the nudity is really important to the story.
Chandler: Yknow Im-Im really glad we decided not to sleep together before the wedding.
(Cassie enters from the guest room, with her hair up. The extremely beautiful and sexy Denise Richards is playing Cassie. Woo hoo! For those of you who dont know who she is, rent Wild Things and she was also the last Bond girl in The World Is Not Enough.)
Chandler: I was not staring at her. Okay? I was just listening intently. Its called being a good conversationalist. Watch. (Stares at Monicas eyes.) Say something.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah sure, just long as its handled tastefully and that barn is not too cold.
The Casting Director: So uh well the director is insisting that whoever play that part be authentically, anatomically not Jewish. Do you know what Im saying?
The Casting Director: An Italian Catholic immigrant at this time would not be
Monica: Joey! This is not like learning to ride a horse! This is like learning to grow a turtleneck!
Monica: Well Im not sure yet, but umm of the top of my head Im thinking double sided tape and some sort of luncheon meat.
Joey: The Silly Putty! Its not so silly anymore!
Ross: (in his head) Say something clever! (Pause.) Okay, doesnt have to be clever, it just has to be words. Say some words. (Pause) Any words will do. (Pause) Oh my God! This is the longest that anyone has not talked ever! (Pause) There is nothing you can say to make this worse!! So just say something!! (Pause.) (To her) I-I, I uh havent had sex in a very long time. (She leaves.) (In his head) Yeah, you really shouldnt have said anything.
Monica: Well no wait a minute thats not true! No, what did, that was really sweet. And it kinda works out for the best.
Joey: Oh! Hey right! Not a problem. (He starts taking off his clothes.) I totally understand. You need to yknow make sure I dont have any horrible scars or tattoos. Dont you worry; I have nothing to hide. (He drops his pants and stands back up and looks down.) So there you go, thats me. (We cut to a camera angle looking at the casting director and movie director through Joeys legs.) One hundred percent natural! (Suddenly, theres a thud as something falls off.) (Everyone is shocked.) I tell ya, that has never happened before.
Phoebe: (in her head) Say something! Say anything! Ask her out! Shes not your cousin!
Chandler: No! No! I dont want him to know were yet! Im not sure Im ready for that. And besides hes not gonna be too happy to see me either.
Rachel: No, honey, they're not, but don't worry, because we are going to find them, and until we do, we are all here for you, ok?
Rachel: (awestruck, then not) Isnt that a line from the show?!
Rachel: Im not! Were having a girl! Sometimes I cant believe its with youBut still! Were having a girl!
Emily: She said, "If Im not gonna be happy getting married somewhere that we find in a day, well then we should just postpone it."
JOEY: Well if he's not gonna eat it, I will.
Rachel: Well, cant you tell her that you are not in the mood?
Rachel: Oh, you’re not gonna believe what happened to me today! Ralph Lauren called, and gave me my job back!
Joey: Thats okay Ross maybe you need a new picture. Okay? Its not gonna be what you thought, but no matter what theres gonna be a brand new little baby, your baby. Who cares what the picture looks like?
Joey: Hey Rach listen, no matter what this guy says I want you to know youre not gonna be alone in this.
Phoebe: Aw, honey its not your fault, y'know this is who you are, and I love you, and I want us to be friends, and if I keep living here I dont see that happening.
Pete: Well if youre asking me to quit, then youre asking me to be someone Im not. Ive got to do this.
Joey: I know! I mean its not like we werent cool about it.
Ross: Come on Pheebs, its not that bad! Yknow most people would be excited if they didnt have to work for a couple of weeks.
Chandler: No, its not like, like Phil Spiderman. Hes a spider, man. Y'know like ah, like Goldman is a last name, but theres no Gold Man.
Ross: Thats okay, Im not so crazy about myself right now either.
Phoebe: Oh, no, no, no, no. You know what, he's not into that stuff anymore. He quit for me.
Phoebe: Wait a minute! So when Emily comes you're just, you're not gonna see Rachel anymore?
Phoebe: That’s right, I've prepared a song for Emma. From my heart to hers. For there’s no greater gift, than the gift of music. (she starts singing) Emma! Your name poses a dilemma. 'Cause not much else rhymes with Emma! Maybe the actor Richard Crenna, he played the commanding officer in Rambo. Happy birthday Emma!
JOEY: Oh no-no, it's uh, it's not what you think. We uh, we used it to, you know, fling water balloons off the roof. Remember that, those junior high kids couldn't even get theirs accross the street.
Joey: No, yeah, no, ok, but not yet. I don't wanna seem too eager. One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi. That seems pretty cool. (he walks over to her) Hey, Angela.
Monica: Chandler! I have to tell you, you smell so smokey I have to get up. I'm not kidding. (She's not; she stands and walks away. Chandler moves closer.)
Joey: Well uh, I don't know about who's here, but I can tell you for damn sure who's not here and that's Rachel!!
Monica: Because shes not gonna get to keep the babies.
Phoebe: Earl, youre not hearing me! All Im saying is that youre not alone all right? Everybody hates the people they work with! (One of her coworkers overhears that, and she mimes that she didnt mean him.)
Rachel: Do you really not know where Im going with this? (Phoebe nods, "No.") It left! Its one huge room!
Chandler: (re TV) Ooh, she should not be wearing those pants.
Monica: No I dont know Chandler! Not anymore! Its like its like somethings changed.
Ross: 'Pwease, Aunt Monica, pwease?' Oh, unclench. You're not even gonna be there.
Joey: Yknow what? This is not fair to her. Lets just forget the tape!
Rachel: Yeah, maybe if youre in love. But Ross, we are not in love, are we?
Chandler: But only because I was up all night worried about this meeting, aint that funny? Irony? Not a fan, alright (he sits down). See, heres the thing. I went home and told my wife about Tulsa and she wont go. See, me, I love Tulsa! Tulsa is heaven! Tulsa is ItalyPlease dont make me go there!
PHOEBE: No. This whole like playing-for-money thing is so not good for me. You know, I don't know, when I sang "Su-Su-Suicide", I got a dollar seventy-five. But then, "Smelly Cat", I got 25 cents and a condom. So you know, now I just feel really bad for Smelly Cat.
Ross: Joe Im not kidding
Monica: No! No its not! Its not gonna be okay! It sucks! No swing band! No lilies!
Joey: No Im not. Why would you say that? Thats just mean.
Charity guy: You know what? It's not your decision anymore.
Monica: Thats not your regular dry cleaners.
Chandler: Well, I-I thought I did but, I-I guess I did not!
Chandler: No, because youre not a grandmother!
Rachel: (she enters wearing a bath-robe) Hey... Hi you guys! Listen, you know what? I'm not feeling really well. I think I can't get out for the play.
CHANDLER: If you guys feel this big, maybe that's not our fault. Maybe that's just how you feel.
Roy: Well, look - it's not my fault if you're too uptight to appreciate the male form in all it's glory.
Kathy: Acting! Chandler, this is my job! Im-Im playing a part in a play! How can you not trust me?!
Rachel: Okay, two things didnt happen. Remember I told you that someone made out with Ralph Lauren in the copy room? Well, it turns out thats not true.
ROSS: No, no, she's great and it's not like we haven't done anything. I mean, uh, uh, we, we do plenty of other stuff, lot's of other stuff, like uhh. . .
Joey: Good evening. Im Mr. Tribbiani. And I will be teaching acting for soap operas. Now um, on my first day as (proudly) Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives, (looks for a reaction from his students, and gets none.) I learned that one of the most important things in soap opera acting is reacting, this does not mean acting again, it means, you dont have a line, but someone else just did. And it goes like this. (looks all intense for a moment and then gasps, the students cheer him) Thanks, thanks, a lot. Oh, by the way, before I forget to work in soap operas some of you will have to become much more attractive. All right, moving right along.
Joey: (Looking up at the waiter)Thats not food...No, I dont, no...(Taps Chandler on the shoulder.) Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I cant even remember what Phoebe looks like.
Chandler: No, she's not okay? And I'll prove it to you. I'm gonna call her right now. (Picks up the phone and wipes it off) Phone's done ehh.
Chandler: Well, at least the perfume is not mine, be thankful for that!
MONICA: You know what? I'm not gonna be able to enjoy this.
Monica: No it's not.
Joshua: You okay? (Rachel swallowed it whole and is not hacking like a heavy smoker in the morning.) You all right? (Rachel walks away, coughing.)
Chandler: Yeah! When you were talking about Roger, that was killing me! Look, things like last night they dont just happen. Yknow? Or at least not to me. Or with the other two women, in the morning yknow I was just lying there and I couldnt wait to just go hang out with my friends, but with you I always yknow with a friend.
Monica: Chandler! (Joey and his grandmother shush them and wave them away, which they do.) Okay, let me get this straight, it's okay for you to flirt, but not for me.
Ross: Celia, don't worry! Don't scream! He's not going to hurt you! Soothing tones, Celia. Soothing tones! Marcel...
Monica: Am not!
Ross: (interrupting him) YeahNo-but-but-but-but! Were just gonna go home and take a shower. Now, thats not scary right?
Chandler: Not so much!
Chandler: Im not Jewish, so
Joey: Ah-ah-ah Mr. Smartie Pants, its just not my character thats not brain dead. Hey, so Pheebs, we still on for tonight?
Ross: Yeah well, he's not gonna get this one. Ben is way cuter than that kid. I mean look at him, look at you, (Starts to whine like a baby and Joey just glares at him.)
MONICA: Joey they're not real. I start miles beneath the surface of these things, ok, they're fake. See [squeezes her breast] honk honk.
Ross: Oh, I am sorry, did you not like her, because I was hoping that we could come to one of your kissing parties onthe balcony.
Phoebe: What a mean thing to say! I would never tell you its not your birthday!
Chandler: Theyre not gonna swallow anything, you guys are being way over protective. When I was a kid, my mom used to just throw me into a pile of broken glass!
Ross: No, no, that's not where I was going. Er, if you get in the... way, of us becoming a thing, then I would be, well, very sad.
Chandler: (looking) Oh, this is not that bad.
Monica: (wiping her nose) I have not been sick in over three years! (Sneezes.)
Rachel: No! No, I am not getting in a car with Ross, we will just have to live here!
Janine: No! Of course we can still hang out with them. Just yknow, not two nights in a row. Okay?
Rachel: What? Guys, I'm not.
Ross: Well, I was with Carol for like eight years and I lost her. And now if it's possible I think I love you even more. So, it's hard for me to believe that I'm not gonna, well that someone else is not going to take you away.
Monica: (shocked) You're not gonna be here New Year's Eve??
Chandler: Could you not narrate?
Ross: No, it's not just that. It's justI want someone who... who does something for me, y'know? Who gets my heart pounding, who... who makes me, uh... (begins to stare lovingly at Rachel)
Rachel: All right, so are we not having dinner at all?
Carol: Hello? It's not gonna be Helen Geller.
Monica: Hello, people who do not live here.
Chandler (nearly weeping): I was not ready for this today!
Rachel: I, I didn't say any... I sw... I did not say anything, I swear. He stopped by.
Chandler: Come on, Ross, you gotta get back in the game here, ok? The Rachel thing's not happening, your ex-wife is a lesbianI don't think we need a third...
Chandler: Not a one.
Rachel: Oh, not much. I-I got a job.
Ross: Me. Was that not clear? Hey, why don't, um, why don't I just join you both, here?
Mr Zelner: This may surprise you, but re-hiring fired employees, is not my main job.
Ross: No, youve heard my practice. Okay? Just-just give me a chance to perform for you and then decide whatever you want. And Im not going to tell you what song Im gonna play either. But uh, lets just say when its over Ill bet there will be a we bit o celebration.
Joey: But I counted, you're not supposed to live here! Oh man! (Runs away.)
Woman: Yeah, well, now you're kinda not.
Rachel: Seriously Pheebs, it's not gonna be that kind of a party.
Phoebe: Okay. Then, take the tiara back and let me hold the musket again. (He hands it to her and Phoebe poses in front of one of those small mirrors.) Somethings missing. Its not Okay oh, let me see the ring my friend picked out.
Monica: You guys, I am not that bad!
Joey: Get the ball, ready? Get the ball, get the ball! (Joey pretends to throw it, but really doesnt, and the dog goes running off.) Well, youre cute, but youre not too smart!
Monica: Well, go over to her! She's not with anyone.
Phoebe: No I'm not. No! If anything I'm making you look better! They'll see you talking to me and that's--I'm a hit!
Ross: Well ah, Aunt Silvia was, well not a nice person.
Joey: Maybe you can tell me. My agent would like to know why I didn't show up at the audition I didn't know I had today. The first good thing she gets me in weeks. How could you not give me the message?!
Chandler: And yet, believable. So I decided not to fire her again until I can be assured that she will be no threat to herself, or others.
Rachel: Sometimes just nodding is ok. (pause) Uhm, so but anyway, listen, not marrying Barry was the best decision that I ever, ever made. Honey, you deserve true love. Your soulmate is out there, somewhere. Someone that is your age, that is smart, that is fun and that you care about!
Monica: Why not?