words in movies
Chandler: Yep! From now on its gonna be the four of you guys and me and the misses. The little woman. The wife. The old ball and chain.
Chandler: Listen, if you want to borrow money, its kind of a bad time. Im buying dinner for 128 people tomorrow night.
Ross: Okay! You guys are getting married tomorrow and-and I couldnt be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monicas older brother I-I have to tell you this. If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down, and kick your ass! (Chandler laughs.) What? Im-Im-Im serious! (Chandler laughs harder.) ComeHey! Dude! Stop it! Okay? Im-Im not kidding here!
Monica: Im making a list of all the things that are most likely to go wrong at the wedding. Now, that way I can be prepared.
The Director: (approaching) Okay! Were about an hour away from getting the scene lit. So uh, if you guys dont mind, can we run it a couple of times?
Joey: We have to find the rest of the platoon!
Joey: (glances at Richard) No. Nope, I uh I thI thought it might be kind of a cool character thing. Yknow? Hes uh, hes a face toucher. (Behind his back, Richard is nodding no.)
Richard: We may not have any weapons, but we still have food. In the basement I saw potatoes and some dry pasta, and a few tins of tuna! (Joey backs away and wipes his face again.)
Chandler: (entering from the bedroom) Okay. Heres a question you never have to ask. My dad just called and wanted to know if he could borrow one of your pearl necklaces.
Chandler: Mom. Thanks for wearing something. (They hug.) (Shes wearing a tight dress with a lot of cleavage showing.)
Mrs. Bing: Oh honey! This is so exciting! I thought we screwed you up so bad this day would never come. Oh and just think. Soon therell be lots of little Bings. (He freaks out and loosens the tie again.)
Mr. Bing: Yes! Although, I think we may be seeing a little too much of some people. Arent you a little old to be wearing a dress like that?
Mr. Geller: of course you can kick his ass son.
Rachel: Man in the black dress (Monica walks away and Rachel looks around to find a woman in a black dress.) (To her) Hi! Im Rachel! Im a friend of Monica and Chandlers!
Monica: All right, Im gonna go steam my wedding dress okay? Who wants the responsibility of making sure nothing happens to it?
Rachel: Well of course that is what Im here for!
Ross: And if I remember correctly, Ray Ban was the official sponsor of World War I!
Rachel: Yeah but, maybe its not what we think. Maybe its tell Monica Im sorry I drank the last of the milk.
(Hes still spitting and Joey holds his script in front of his face.)
Richard: Well of course I am!
Richard: Thats what real actors do! Annunciation is the mark of a good actor! And when you enunciate, you spit! (Spits on the t)
Mrs. Geller: Yeah, the list thatof people were allowed to sleep
Richard: The picture of my wife! In your pack!
Richard: Why do have a picture of Paulette in your pack?!
Joey: No! No! I cant! You gotta get me out of it! Ive got plans! (Spits.) Important plans! (Spits on the Ps.)
Phoebe: (looking into the trash can) Sure. (Reaching into the trash can.) Do you need some floss? (Grabs a piece of it.)
Phoebe: Yeah, okay. Hey, wait. Do you know what kind of birth control she was using?
Ross: Well, cant you at least stall her a little? Ill-Ill go back to some of the places I went last night.
The Director: What kind of surgery?!
Ross: Then you are neither of your parents!
Chandler: Its not just their marriage! I mean, look at yours. Look at everybodys! The only person that can make marriage work is Paul Newman! And Ive met me; I am not Paul Newman. I dont race cars! I dont make popcorn! None of my proceeds go to charity.
Phoebe: But look Chandler, right now, no one has a lower opinion of you than I do. But I totally believe you can do this.
(Monica goes into the bathroom and Phoebe and Rachel breathe a sigh of relief.)
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey and Richard are in the middle of a scene. They are both holding swords.]
Richard: Of course! Im-Im sorry. I-Id hate you to miss anything like that on account of me. I can do this!
Rachel: Anastassakis/Papasifakis wedding, excellent! {Its a good thing Jennifer Aniston is Greek, because she had to pronounce those names. Luckily for me, they were written on a sign.}(The happy couple emerges.) Congratulations. (To the best man and maid of honor) Mazel Tov! (The rabbi emerges.) Hi! Oh, great hat. (Hes wearing an interesting hat and she takes him over to talk.) Listen umm, I need you to perform another wedding. Can you do that?
Ross: These-these are beads of joy.
(And as Joey walks out the door, Richard grabs a bottle of Scotch, just as the door closes and carries it with him.)
Chandler: Well I was! Then I went down to the gift shop because I was out of cigarettes
Joey: (entering) Thats my line! (He walks up the aisle and to the rabbi) I can take it from here, thanks. (To all) Dearly beloved, Im sorry Im a little late. You may be confused by this now, (Hes still in costume) but you wont be Memorial Day weekend 2002. Well, lets get started before the groom takes off again. Huh? (Monica is shocked and looks around.) We are gathered here today, to join this man and this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. Ive known Monica and Chandler for a long time, and I can not imagine two people more perfect for each other. And now, as Ive left my notes in my dressing room. We shall proceed to the vows. Monica?
Chandler: (To Ross) No, thats okay. (Ross nods and retreats.) Monica I thought this was going to be the most difficult thing I ever gonna had to do. But when I saw you walking down that aisle I realized how simple it was. I love you. Any surprises that come our way its okay, because I will always love you. You are the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. You wanna know if Im sure? (He leans in and kisses her.)
Joey: You may not kiss the bride. So, I guess by the powers vested in my by the state of New York and the Internet guys, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Oh wait! Do you take each other?
CHANDLER: Could you get us a couple of beers?
Ross: Oh, I-I don't know, it's kind of expensive for a studio.
Joey: Oh! Yeah, look there's this play all right? And I'm up for the part of this real cool like suave international guy. A real clothes horse. So I figure that everyone at the audition is gonna be wearing this kinda y'know, ultra-hip, high fashion stuff.
Monica: (thinks about it) All right, but if-if he lights someone else on fire he is out of there!
Monica: Yknow dad, Chandler is one of Rosss very best friends!
Ross: No, of course not! (Thinks) ...Yeah, yeah, it is.
Ross: Apparently, Stings son made fun of the fact that Bens moms are lesbinims.
Ross: Look, dont worry about me. Okay? Ill just stay real energetic and stay away from the ball. Ill uh, Ill be that guy right out of the circle. (He points to a player who starts running and then gets viscously tackled from behind.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, (And thats the last time for that line, no more Chandler and Joeys or Monica and Rachels, ever!) Joey and Ross are carrying the last table of Rachels. Rachel follows slowly, but is stopped by Monica.]
Joey: Nice going. You just saved yourself a couple months of sex.
Monica: Youre supposed to double the tax. Not double the tax of Romania. I mean, whats-whats the deal? Are you, are you trying to buy me? Is this the way you get girls to go out with you?
[Scene: The lobby of Ross's building, he's sitting on the couch at the bottom of the stairs, and he's practicing enticing women to join him on the couch.]
Ross: I don't know, but I.. Look, even if she shoots me down, at least I won't spend the rest of my life wondering what would have happened. Where - where is my coat?!
Ross first has a look of 'huh' then changes it to sarcastic happy: Thank you Amy.
Chandler: Huh. Did, uh... any of the rest of you guys think that when you first met me?
Rachel: Yes, okay, oh, by the way, I just gotta say, I think it's really nice of you that even after you've moved, you still keep storing that stuff for Joey!
MRS GREEN: I guess I just figured of all people you would understand this.
Rachel: Hey! Yknow, sometimes you can do everything right, everyone can wear everything theyre supposed to wear, and one of those little guys just gets through!
Rachel: I didnt uh, really have time to read this part of the books, but do you think we have time to
Ross: Well uh, yknow what? Even if she doesnt know anything, I do! I have a son. And his mother and I didnt live together, and whenever he was with me I took care of him all the time, by myself.
Joshua: Yeah! I mean youre-youre beautiful and smart and sophisticateda lot of this isnt based on tonight.
Rachel: (To Monica, Chandler and Phoebe) Can any of you watch Emma?
Chandler: (comes out of the bathroom) Here I am.
Chandler: Well yeah! But now that I know that youre having these thoughts, Im back to panic, anxiety, and uh Im definitely gonna need some kind of sports drink.
Rachel: Everybody? Shh, shhh. Uhhh... Central Perk is proud to present the music of Miss Phoebe Buffay.
Phoebe: Well, it helps the bee look tough in front of his bee friends. The bee is happy and I am definitely not.
Ross: I can't believe this, she's our daughter! That you would treat her like some kind of showdog is inexcusable!
Phoebe: So wow, it looks like you took care of everything. Thanks a lot, co-host.
Chandler: Hey Joe! We've got a couple of things we've got to check out at the new house. You want to come with us?
David: She's also a scientist, so she's very smart and pretty and... well, it's actually because of you, really, that we're together, I mean, I saw what you had with that Mike guy, and I just said "Boy, I want that".
Janice: Oh! Youre right. Oh God. But, before I can say good-bye, theres something I really need you to know, Chandler. The way I feel about you, its like, I finally understand what Lionel Richies been singing about. Y'know, I mean what we have, its like movie love, youre my soulmate, and I cant believe were not going to be spending the rest of our lives together.
ESTELLE: Joey, I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told Al Minser and his pyramid of dogs. Take any job you can get and don't make on the floor.
David: The good thing about the young kids though, theyre completely unpredictable. Which is a lot of fun as an actor to respond with. But there was one story
Chandler: Why dont you go up on stage. Ill get a picture of you doing the speech.
Rachel: No! Forget it! I am not gonna ask Frank to give you one of his kids!!
Chandler: Oh, well, ah... maybe thats because theyre ah... jealous, of us.
CHAN: And weenie number two has it. Unless, of course, nine-down, Knights in White Satin was sung by the Doody Blues.
Joey: You guys have one of those signs that says: 'We don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in our pool.', you know.
Phoebe: Well, why did you make like a whole big thing out of y'know, everyone has to hang out in the big apartment?
Joey: Man, if anyone asked me to give up any of you, I couldn't do it.
PHOEBE: Oh, ooh, Soap Opera Digest, oh that's one of my favorite digests.
Joey (to Chandler): Look, c'mon, please? It's not like I'm asking for some crazy favour. This is what I do for a living. I am a professional actor! (he glances at his watch and sees the time) Oh, man, I'm two hours late for work! (he stands, ready to go). Look, here's a copy of my reels. It's got all the commercials that I've been in.
Mrs. Burkart: (singing) ...emblem of the land I love. The home of....
Chandler: I just think that things would go a lot smoother if we each have our own zone. Phoebe, you can be in charge of wiping. And yknow Mon, you can be in charge of diapering and I can be in charge of looking how cute they are when they put their hands around (He degrades into baby talk, but he means when they grab his finger.)
Chandler: Quick! What time is it?! (Holds his watch in front of her face.)
Ross: Well, fine. Fine! If-if Im the only person with any appreciation of the sanctity of the written word, Ill go up there and defend it myself! (Starts to do so, but stops and to the previous librarian) And dont you follow me!
Phoebe: Why dont take care of this one, and should I get pregnant again, Ill hold onto your card, okay?
Charlie: Actually, it turned out to be a lot of fun!
Phoebe: How are you? (The woman nods) Good. (She goes over to another couple of women.) Hi, thanks for coming.
Phoebe: Uh, well I can tell you why. Its, its because of me. But, y'know what, I only did it because I love you. Okay?
Ross: Yeah! I dont know. I mean, last year Elizabeth now-now this kid. What-what-what-what is it?! Am I giving out some kind of sexy professor vibe? (Rachel and Joey both look at him.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler have trading the entertainment center for the canoe. Joey is sitting in the bow, staring off into space as to envision his future full of possibilities. Chandler is sitting at the stern, staring into space and is looking at an uncertain future.]
(Chandler walks into the living room, and sees all of Joeys sisters, all wearing red.)
Amy: Yeah! Hey, sure! The "Days of Our Lives" guy!
(Joey leaves. Rachel gulps down what's left of her drink and grimaces.)
Joey: Of course it's true! How else would you explain all the weird stuff that's been going on?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Chandler is looking at the screen of his laptop, shaking his head.]
Phoebe: Well speaking of chiming in, remember the time you burned down my apartment?
Ross: Hey Pheebs, you gonna have the rest of that Pop-Tart?.. Pheebs?
(Walks out and after he closes the door Phoebe turns around and takes a bite out of what is left of his candy bar.)
Phoebe: Y'know what you should send him? A cartoon of cigarettes. 'Cause that why he could trade it for protection. No. That's prison.
Rachel: Ohh! And Im one of them!! Wow! Oh, I just cannot believe this! I mean, Joey Tribbiani!
Joey: Oh, thats, thats ah, one of the old ones, hes just taking it to the back.
Paul: Joey! (Goes over and hugs Joey and picks him off of his feet.)
Chandler: But I didn't get to shake my belly like a bowl full of jelly.
Chandler: Okay, now will you guys get out of here? I want this is to be a surprise and shes gonna know.
Monica: I kind of have to don't I? Because of this stupid thing (Points to her wedding ring.)
Phoebe: OK so isn't there a little part of you that wants to get up there?
Mona: How could you have kept all of this from me?
Joey: I want you to take this seriously! Phoebe is very very important to me, ok? And I wanna make sure that you are gonna take care of her.
Chandler: Im not freaking out. Why would I be freaking out? A woman named Heldi called and said we were getting married, but that happens everyday. (Does one of those Chandler noises.)
The Cute Guy: Wow! Uh, this is kind of embarrassing. I was actually coming over to talk to your friend.
CHANDLER: No, look, that's it, it's over, I want you out, I want you out of the apartment now.
SUSIE: It looks like one of her eyebrows fell down. Now unless someone convinces her to let me bleach it, Jean-Claude Van Damme is gonna be making out with Gabe Kaplan.
Joey: Oh, it was a lot of fun right up until Chandler got a finger in the eye!
JOEY: Oh come on. Nobody likes two different kinds of eggs equally. You like one better than the other and I wanna know which.
Phoebe: Hi, yeah, hi! I'm umm, Phoebe Buffay, and I have babies coming out of me.
Rachel: Mon... Okay... I've gotta... just say what it is I'm gonna say... None of the amazing things that have happened to me in the last ten years, would have happened if it wasn't for you. No-one has been more like a sister to me...
Phoebe: Okay fine! Fine! Well just have to think of some other way to put the whole Who came onto who, thing to rest! Come on now, think!!
Monica: So! So we've got to go upstairs and have a lot of sex to prove them wrong!
Jill: So who made her queen of the world?
Joey: Hey! (Monica turns and looks at him) Now Im a man of the cloth, but I still have feelings!
Monica: Oh, by the way, you are more than welcome to look under any of the furniture, because, believe me, you won't find any porn or cigarettes under there!
Monica: Well, of course I do. What's not to like! I'll take her in a minute! But, you know, I think that you're giving up too easy, honey. I think that you need to fight for her!
Carol: Look, I-I-I am sorry that Rachel dumped you cause she fell in love with that Mark guy, and you are the innocent victim in all of this, but dont punish your friends for what Rachel did to you.
Phoebe: Well, of course it smells really bad. You have your head inside a turkey's ass!
Paul: Ooh, steer clear of you.
[Scene: Chandler arrives home and Monica's got a video of Sharks ready for Chandler.]
MONICA: No, a doctor of meat. Of course he's a real doctor. And he's handsome, and he's sweet, and know you'd like him. [she puts her arm around Richard]
Dr. Biely: Primarily in the Pierre Shale region of South Dakota.
(Phoebe then gets possessed 'cause she starts speaking in tongues. She speaks Italian to Joey's grandmother. She is quickly exorcised and returns to speaking in English. Of course, too most people English is a strange language as well. But none of them are probably reading this and if they were they wouldn't understand it. So why am I talking about them? I have absolutely no clue. Moving on )
Joey: All rightoh! Listen, I know this is your party, but Id really like to the number of museum geeks that are gonna be there.
[Cut to Rachel staring out of her window.]
Janice: What, you can do it in the parking lot of a Taco Bell, but you can't do it at a doctor's office?
Rachel: I believe you. So, it was right in the middle of a staff meeting so of course no one else wants to correct her so everyone else is calling me Raquel! By the end of the day, the mailroom guys were calling me Rocky!
Roy: Ok, ok, ladies! Can I have your attention, please? (pause) Did someone call for the long arm of the law? (He extends his arm from around his crotch and then upward and outward, towards Phoebe) I should warn you, I have a concealed weapon! (Puts his hands over his crotch) I hope you're familiar with the States penal code, ok, ok, enough teasing. Now for some pleasing!
Mr. Posner: Yes, thats very good. Now a uh, big part of this job is cultivating personal relationships, especially with designers.
Rachel: What? Maybe I put it in here (she opens her bag). Oh, oh, it's not in there! Oh, no! I must have packed it in one of these boxes!
Rachel: I'm gonna go get one of those (Thinks) job things.
Chandler: Ah. Your own brand of vigilante justice.