words in movies
Rachel: Any sign of your brother?
Ross: Ah, the heart of every healthy relationship. Honesty, respect, and sex with celebrities.
Rachel: Now, you do realize that shes a cartoon, and way out of your league?
Chandler: I know, I know, I just always wondered if I could get her eyes to pop out of her head.
Joey: Its just a game Mon. (makes a Can-you-believe-her face to the rest of the gang.) Rach, how about you?
Ross: Well I-I-I, that kind of thing requires some serious thought. First, Ill divide my perspective canidates into catergories....
Rachel: Well, so, now, do you guys have a lot of big plans?
Frank: Yeah, I was thinking that maybe we could go down to Time Square and pick up some ninja stars. And, oh, um, my friend Larry, he wants me to take a picture of a hooker.
Chandler: You know, we dont really take advantage of living in the city.
Joey: Well, you shouldve told me that before, Im not a mind reader. Hey, were out of beer. Im going to Monicas.
Chandler: Fine! (goes into his room and slams the door, then he slams the bottom half of the door.)
Joey: Relax. Here hold this (hands her his beer). This old stuff just comes right off. (he bends down to try and lift some tile right in the middle of the floor, in his tight pants.)
Joey: (manages to pry off only a small piece) Aw! Look at that, every inch of this stuff is glued down. Itd take forever to pry this up. You should ah, you should just leave it. (starts to walk away, but Monica grabs him)
(Joey places the toliet brush and holder over the hole, which is in the middle of the floor.)
Ross: Okay, Ive got three of my five.
Rachel: Three of your five, what?
Rachel: Oh my God! You are giving this a lot of thought.
Chandler: Eh, y'know what, shes to political, she probably wouldnt let you do it, unless you donated four cans of food first.
Monica: What kind of karate is that?
Chandler: Oh, just this! (turns around and has a paint lid stuck to the back of his pants.) Yknow what its my fault really, because the couch is usually where we keep the varnish.
Joey: (yelling from bathroom) Hey, does somebody wanna hand me one of those tiles.
Phoebe: Yeah. (phone rings and Phoebe answers it) Hello. (listens) Oh my God, I totally forgot! (listens) Well cant someone else do it. (listens) But, I have company. (listens) Yeah, no look, thats all right Ill come in. (hangs up phone) Um, Frank, Im really sorry but I have to go to work. Its-its one of my regulars and hes insisting that I do um.
Frank: Hey, what kind of work do you do?
Frank: You-you work at one of those massage parlors?
Phoebe: No, no, no, I wouldnt do you myself, I mean that would be weird. Yeah, no, Ill get one of the other girls to do it. Oh, this will be so much fun! Hey! Are you excited?
Phoebe: Okay. All right, this is my favourite part of the weekend, right now, this.
All: All right!! (they lift it into place, however there is one small problem, the unit is so long that it blocks some of both of their bedroom doors.)
Joey: Look its not that bad. So what, it blocks a little of your door, a little of my door.
Chandler: Yeah, y'know what I got a better idea. How-how bout it blocks none of mine door and a lot of yours? (throws his shoulder into the center to try and move it, but it doesnt move.)
Ross: (to Isabella) Hi! Hi, Im Ross, you dont know me, but Im a big, big fan of yours. I mean, Blue Velvet, woo-oo hoo! Um, I was wondering if I could um, maybe buy you a cup of coffee? (Gunther hands her change) Or maybe reimburse you for that one?
Ross: Well, yeah, kinda. Um, but thats okay, see we have an understanding, um, see we each have this list of five famous people, (gets his out) so Im allowed to sleep with you. No, no, no, its flattery.
Isabella: ...because I have a list of five goofy coffee house guys and yesterday I bumped you for that guy over there. (points at a guy and leaves)
Ross: (to the rest of the gang) Were just gonna be friends.
Chandler: Oh good, because uh we got Rachel 800 gallons of water.
Ross: Please! Are you kidding? I-I hurt three huge men, I gave a guy a bloody noseI mean I-Im not proud of it but, I really am. And its all because of you, wonderful, amazing you.
Monica: But, you see, it's just... this night has to go just perfect, you know? And, well, Wendy's more of a... professional waitress.
Rachel: And that was so sweet of you to ask! Oh my God, the three of us are gonna have such a good time living together!
(She can't stay at the end as the couch rounds the turn so she shifts to the back corner of the couch and is at a 90-degree angle to it.)
(Chandler imitates retching and gets out of the chair.)
Phoebe: It's a cotton swab with a bit of my saliva on it, so that if they perfect the cloning process while you are over there, you can use the DNA to create your own Pheebs!
Rachel: Hes downstairs getting the rest of the stuff out of the cab.
Joey: Well how about this one? Testing the effects of Joey Tribbiani on attractive nurse receptionists.
Rachel: Emmm. Now, instead of the vegetables, is there anyway I can substitute the three-pound lobster?
Janice: Oh my Gawd, I-I understand. I-I am so sorry, Ill go. (Starts for the door.) Good-bye Monica (hugs her), I wish you a lifetime of happiness with him. Chandler, (hugs him) you call me when this goes in the pooper. (Hurries out.)
Chandler: Yeah, I thought so to until I paper mached one of my eyes shut.
Chandler: Well, I'm sorry Joe. I didn't think the doctor was gonna buy that it just *fell* out of the socket.
Ross: A basket of mini-muffins.
Monica: Oh, he just doesn't want us to go through any trouble. Think of how excited he'll be when we go out and surprise him! Plus we get to have our own, ani-Vegas-ary! A-Nevadaversary!
(Joey closes the door and ties the balloons to the knob. Then he walks away, holding the hand of an inflated balloon animal he had brought.)
Chandler: Yeah, and at the end of the play, he, he got up y'know, and he just started like, (claps his hands) banging his hands together!
Joey: You may not kiss the bride. So, I guess by the powers vested in my by the state of New York and the Internet guys, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Oh wait! Do you take each other?
Joey: Only if you think its better than this... (holds up an aerosol can) snow-in-a-can!! I got it at work. Mon, you want me to decorate the window, give it a kind of Christmas lookie.
[Scene: A hospital hallway, Chandler is sitting on a gurney with his hands spread out behind his back. Then Monica comes and plops down on the gurney and one of his hands. Chandler immediately recoils in extreme pain.]
Phoebe: (singing) "Little, tiny Tarzan, swinging on a nose hair. Swinging with the greatest of ease " Darn it! Now, I dont know who to get to the next verse.
MNCA: Oh, you must be freezing. You know what you need? How about a nice steaming cup of hot Mockolate?
Chandler: Okay, so this isnt a picture of our first, but it is a picture of my first kiss with with this lady. Which by the look on your face Im sure youll remember. So we dont need(Rips the picture)Theres no need to have this picture. How about I take the real pictures and get them developed right now.
(Chandler throws the back of Rosita into his apartment and quickly starts pushing the base into his apartment.)
Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's... it's... y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into showbusiness.
Ross: Ive got to say; I know I divorce a lot of women, never thought I would be divorcing you.
Ross: Well... (realizes, screaming like a little girl, trying to get rid of the spider) Whaa... aaah... aaahhh...
Chandler: Oh good. Good, because Im sure this interview is gonna last a couple of weeks.
Monica: All right ah, Ross, this is the extent of my knowledge on the subject. (holds up a notepad) Call Rachel.
(Outside in the street, Joey and Chandler arrive, to peer through the window at Phoebe, by bending down to look underneath the shops signa large steaming cup of coffee.)
[Cut to Chandler sitting down near Joey as his mom walks over. His birth mother, not the mother who recently visited one of those clinics in Sweden.]
Erica: I was wondering you both have such serious jobs. (to Monica) Would you have time to take care of a baby and your flock?
Phoebe: Yeah, you know what the best part of it is? I get to do my "plan-laugh." (A maniacal laugh follows.)
Monica: Okay. Umm, y'know, I dont think, I dont think I told you this, but umm, I just got out of a really serious relationship.
[Scene: Las Vegas, we have the typical glamour shots of Vegas and the strip before we arrive at 4 Queens bar, where Chandler and Monica are sitting at a table waiting for the show to start.
Chandler: Oh, I think this is the episode of Three's Company where there's some kind of misunderstanding.
(They sit down on the couch, which is in front of the still recording camera.)
Mike: It's just my first marriage was, you know such a disaster. I kind of lost faith in the whole idea.
Ross: ...a what? A what? What's the end of that sentence?
Pete: Im fine! Id fight tonight, if theyd let me. (stands up and starts swinging his arms) See this circle Im marking off here? This is my zone of terror.
PHOEBE: [Standing in living room with Chandler and Joey. She pulls a huge bathing suit out of a box] Hey, Mon, what is this?
Joey: No, one man for the rest of my life? I dont know if I can do it! This means Ill never get to sleep with Joey!
Janine: Well, me and my dancer friends are thinking of doing Thanksgiving uptown. I thought you guys might like to come.
Chandler: Nooo!! Shes really dull! And she gets this gross mascara goop thing in the corner of her eye!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are showing a couple of guys (Tony and Peter) the entertainment center.]
Monica: All right, I'm out of oven space. I'm gonna turn on Joey's. Please, watch him! Do not let Joey eat any of the food!
Rachel: Okay. All right Dina, well lets talk about the different areas of fashion that you could get involved in. Lets see, theres design, but you may need a whole other degree for that. Uh, theres-theres sales, which is great because you get to travel
Chandler: All right, you will notice that I am fully dressed. I, in turn, have noticed that you are not. So in the words of A. A. Milne, "Get out of my chair, dillhole!"
Joey: Wow! That was incredible! Beard of bees, here I come!
Roy: Damnit. OH! (To Phoebe) Big surprise! The hunk of beef has feelings!
Phoebe: G-sharp? Have you been studying the real names of the chords? (Joey doesn't answer.) Have you? (He looks away in shame.) Oh my God!
Joey: Uh, why, it’s a... (he picks a book up) one of her favorites, uh, (he reads the title of the book) “Riding the Storm Out. Coping with post-partum depression” eesh! (he puts the book back and picks up another) “Love you forever”. Love you forever. By Robert Munsch. Published by Firefly books. Printed (he pauses and changes the tone to a dramatic one) in Mexico. A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, and while she held him she sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”. (the picture fades and Joey is now finishing the book). And while he rocked her, he sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”.
[Scene: Rachel and Joey's apartment. It's just Ross and Rachel. They put the camera on a tripod in the kitchen and they are standing in front of the camera.]
David: Uhm... uhm... Goodbye... Uh... Schto ya ztez vigul... ui... (David holds his hands gently on the back of Phoebe's neck. There's a sound of a a bunch of keys rattling, and the door opens... It's Mike)
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: You speak Dutch? (In Dutch) Zeer vereerd een vriend van mijn moeder te ontmoeten. (Translation: Im very honored to meet a friend of my mother.)
Parker: What a beautiful place. What a great night! I have to tell you, being here with all of you in Event Room C I feel so lucky. I think of all the good times that have happened here. The birthdays, the proms, the mitzvahs both bar and bat, but none of them will compare with tonight! My God, I dont want to forget this moment! Its like I want to take a mental picture of you all! Click! (He takes a mental picture of them all.)
Phoebe: Yknow, birds have a very good sense of direction, and I thought maybe they could help us find where the presents are hidden.
Monica: Yeah! Okay, this one is a mushroom cap. (Points to it.) Umm, this one is made of bologna. (Points.)
Monica: Okay, Im sorry. I think I can walk the rest of the way now. Just-just give me my boots.
Joey: Check it out. (He turns around, pulls down his pants, and shows Phoebe that hes got panties on.) How much of a man am I?!
Chandler: (imitating Monica) Oh, and you know whose knowledge of her ex-boyfriend is shocking? Monica!
[Scene: Westminster Abbey, Joey and Chandler have successfully navigated the streets of London and are approaching the Abbey.]
PHOEBE: And a crusty old man said I'll do what I can and the rest of the rats played moroccas. That's it, thanks, good night.
Phoebe: Youre thinking about this way too much. Just tell him and get it over with. Its like, its like ripping off this Band-Aid. (On her arm) Quick and painless, watch. (Rips it off.) Oh mother of See?
Chandler: Oh, yeah! Absolutely! Anything you need man! But you have to promise me the second you are feeling better so that we can make fun of your hair!
Phoebe: Nothing, I'm sorry, I'm just, I'm out of sorts.
Ross: Hey Mon, that was really nice of you to loan Rachel your car so she could go and get the cake.
Monica: I mean, why should I let them meet him? I mean, I bring a guy home, and within five minutes they're all over him. I mean, they're like- coyotes, picking off the weak members of the herd.
Charlie: Yes! And while that is everything one looks for in a boyfriend, he had a lot of issues...
Chandler: You hear that! That is her chose, mister Ill let you have her! I win! You suck! I rule all! A mini-wave in celebration of me!! (does the wave.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are watching one of those Kung Fu movies and imitating the moves.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica walks in with one of those knitted Rasta hats.]
PHOEBE: There isn't time. You must leave everything. They'll take care of you next door.
Joey: Pheebs, if this guy keeps closing down all of our favorite places, where are we gonna eat?!
Frank: I can't believe there's somebody coming out of you right now. There's somebody coming out of you! Is it? Is it? It's my son.
Monica: Here, take a couple of these. (She gets up to grab a couple of pills.)
Chandler: Yes, I told him how talented you were. I told him all about Days Of Our Lives.
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey and Richard are in the middle of a scene. They are both holding swords.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, later that day. Monica is coming out of the bathroom carrying her cleaning gear.]
Joey: I did not know that! Thank you Monica. (Starts to leave) I can't believe I almost lost another girl because of counting.
Ross: (Holding him back.)Dad, dad, please. Look I dont want anything to upset Emily tonight. Alright, she's had a hard enough couple of days as it is. (Picks up the bill.) Now here, here, let me go talk to him, okay?
Frank Jr.: Oh, that's Frank Jr. Jr. pulling the tampons out of the lady's purse. And that's Chandler climbing on Chandler, and that's Leslie throwing bagels at him.
Joey: Arg... Alright, I'll take care of it. <throws hands out in the air>
Amy: Now listen, not that you guys could stop me or anything cause you know you'd be dead. I was thinking about changing her name. I'm just not really a big fan of Emily. [Transcriber note: I'm surprised that Rachel and Ross didn't say they weren't either here]
Joey: Look, its not about her. Okay? But seeing you two together just reminds me of what you did. And I dont want to live with some one who doesnt know what it is to be a friend. So, Ill see ya. (He starts to leave, but Chandler grabs his bag and stops him.)
Rachel: Im gonna need a copy of those.
Phoebe: [looking outside the window] Eww, look. Ugly Naked Guy lit a bunch of candles.
David: Yeah, well, being a failed scientist doesn't pay quite as well as you might think. That's uhm... one seventieth of a karat. And the clarity is uhm... is quite poor.
CHANDLER: Well, maybe he had some kind of uh, new, cool style, that you're not familiar with. And uh maybe you have to get used to it.
Ross: Huh? Yeah! Yes, of course!
Phoebe: No he wont. And thats not even the point! Monica, I made a whole speech about you do not cancel plans with friends! And now yknow what? Just because, potentially, the love of my life comes back from Russia just for one night, I-I should change my beliefs?! I should change beliefs! No! No! No, if I dont have my principles, I dont have anything!
(Chandler gives him a round of mock applause.)
Doug: Of course, you did. Forgot something else too ya bastard! (smacks him on the butt) (to Chandler) Well, what about you? Youre not feeling left out or anything are ya?
Ross: I want you to tell her everything. About the deal you tried to make with me, about the crazy questions you... Wally Cox! That's the voice of Underdog!
Ross: All right everyone, lift! (They and try to lift the car, of course it doesnt raise up) And slide!! (Everyone leans over, but the car still does not move.)
(Rachel, Ross and Phoebe have their hands full and are stuffing all kinds of things down Joeys pants.)
Phoebe: It's just my knitting that's all! (A dog sticks its head out of Phoebe's bag. Everyone looks puzzled.) Yes! I knit this. I'm very good.
Dr. Baldhara: Well, it's technically not a zoo per se, it's more of an interactive wildlife experience. Let me ask you some questions about, is it, uh, Marcel?
Rachel: You know Pheebs, when I was little, on my birthday, my daddy would hide a present in every room of the house, and then he would draw a treasure map to help me find 'em all.
JANITOR: Hmm, Lipson knows huh? Ahh, hello Mr. Opossum, enigma of the trees, upside-down denizen of the night, taunting gravity with...