words in movies
Chandler: All right everybody, I know that it's Christmas Eve and you'd rather be with your families, but there's *no* call (he takes it off) for writing "Screw you, Mr. Bing!" on the back of my chair! (he looks at it) -- By the way, you can all call me Chandler.
Wendy: I was, uh, checking out that insurance company's Christmas party on three, oh, it was really beautiful, they have all these decorations and this huge tree and I just, uh... to hell with them, we have to work. -- So I stole ther ham. (She turns the cardboard box upside down over the conference table, a big piece of ham falls out.)
Chandler: I'm sorry. Hey, at least you guys get to go home and be with your families tonight. I have to go back to an empty hotel room and lay down on a very questionable bedspread. And then tomorrow morning, you get to have Christmas morning in your own houses, wich, by the way, none of you have invited me to.
"Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap. Asked him to bring my friends all kinds of crap. Said all you need is to write them a song. Now, you haven't heard it yet, so don't try to sing along. No, don't sing along.
Monica: Come on Ben.
(Monica and Ben sit down on the couch.)
Monica: (to Chandler) Hey, you think, you can keep it another night? (She has a really teasing look on her face and keeps twirling Chandler's beard.)
(All are leaving, wishing each other a Merry Christmas, peace on earth, etc. Only Wendy stays.)
[Scene change back an forth: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, Monica's on the other end of the line. The phone's speaker is turned on, so the rest of the gang, sitting around the phone, can hear Chandler.]
Wendy: Huh? Really? -- Hm, that'd be so terrible? (She gets hold of Chandler's tie, slowly moving her hands upwards on the tie, getting closer and closer to him, seductive.)
Chandler: This is probably the wrong thing to be worrying about, but... you're getting ham on my only tie.
Chandler: Whoa-ho, back off, Missy! (He takes a step back, but she still keeps her grip on his tie.)
Wendy: So? I'm married. (Showing him the ring on her finger.)
Chandler: Well look, it's not easy to spend this much time apart, you know. She's entitled to be a little paranoid... or, in this case: right on money! ... You know, she's amazing, and beautiful, and smart, and if she were here right now, ...she'd kick your ass. Look, you're a really nice person... ham stealing and adultery aside. But, what I have with my wife is pretty great, so nothing is ever gonna happen between us.
Chandler: You kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms... (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
Both: Three! (They lift up the covers and check each other out, then come back up with silly grins on their faces.)
Monica: Listen umm, I've been thinking, it's not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that.
Chandler: Look, I thought about it too, and I'm sorry. I think we should spend all of the money on the wedding.
Chandler: Well, stuff like where we'd live, y'know? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Y'know, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, we'd have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.
Monica: Okay, fine. Let's talk about snow. -- Do you think it's snowing in Tulsa, where my husband is having sex on a copying machine?
(Monica passes the Envelopes on to Ross, Joey and Rachel.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, Monica is cleaning up, Chandler is sitting on the couch, checking the Job offers in a Newspaper.]
Chandler: Actuary... no. Book-keeper... no. Topless dancer... (he looks down on himself, checking, then nods satisfied and marks the offer with a pen) (to Monica:) Hey, d'you know what I just realized? You are the sole wage earner. *You* are the head of the household. I don't do anything - I'm a kept man!
Chandler: Hey! Hold on a minute, hold on a second. Do you think these pearls are nice?
Rachel: All right, come on, lets go get your coat.
Monica: Okay, so from now on we have to call you Princess Consuela?
Rick: Would you mind spending some time on my siadic area, its been killing me today.
Joey: (To Ross, on the couch) Now, here's a picture of my mother and father on their wedding day. Now you tell me she's not a knockout.
Monica: Run, Marcel, run! Run, Marcel! (Marcel runs off and Luisa runs after him. Monica goes to check up on Phoebe) Are you okay?
Phoebe: (to Monica) Then why are you answering? Do you at least know what route were on?
Ross: Oh come on! Here we go! (picks her up and puts her in the chair) Stand by for mission countdown!
Joey: (gesturing at an imaginary painting) Note the painterly lines and subtle impasto on this canvas. Monet painted quickly and usually outdoors as his elusive subject was light itself.
Joey: Come on! Who has the biggest boobs?
Chandler: You kidding? Youre the most beautiful woman in most rooms (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whats going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
The A.D: The one with "Heston" on it.
Ms. McKenna: Boston is down, Atlanta is down, Houston is down, I could go on and on but instead of boring you Ill go straight to my forty two point plan.
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang's all there. Ross has a slip of paper that he throws on the ground tying to get Rachel's attention.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler is sitting on the couch between Russ and Ross, doing a crossword puzzle.]
Phoebe: Ohhh, I wanna come over there and give you a hug and wish you luck on your wedding, but I dontcant get up.
Joey: Phoebe, could you do me a favour? Could you try this on? I just wanna make sure it fits.
[Scene: Rosss Building, they are approaching the apartment of the woman who died. Ross knocks on the door and a woman answers it.]
Charlton Heston: Put some pants on kid so I can kick your butt.
Ross: (on phone) Hey.
Ross: (Bangs on the bathroom door) Emily? Emily? Im coming in. (He opens the door to reveal that the window is gone, along with Emily.)
[Later, Phoebe is on the phone, theyre all still trapped in Monicas bedroom.]
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, its late at night, Rachel is sitting on the couch in the dark wide-awake as Ross walks to the bathroom.]
PHOE: Ok, so, ok, was he holding you? Or was his hand like on your back?
The Interviewer: All right then, well have a definite answer for you on Monday, but I think I can say with some confidence, youll fit in well here.
(Ross keeps staring at her, head on table. Chandler smacks him with a newspaper. Joey enters, Ross and Chandler laugh at him.)
Carol: (knocking on the door) Ross!
(Ross accidentally, on purpose, bumps into Susan.)
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe! Come on! You know what, it's already three o'clock and they haven't even gotten to Emma's group yet. We gotta go, we got dinner!
Ross: Oh come on! Thats-thats true.
Rachel: (deals new hand) Boy, you really can't stand to lose, can you? Your whole face is getting red... little veins popping out on your temple...
Monica: It is not over because she is going to call you and tell you she loves you. And the reason why she couldnt, is because her feelings were so strong, it scared her. Now you go home and wait for her call, she could be calling you from the plane! Come on now go! Go! (Tries to push Ross out the door.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are on the couch as Joey enters.]
[Scene: Ross's Apartment; Ross is pacing while Joey and Chandler are working on some more furniture.]
Joey: Im on it! (Takes a bite out of the sandwich.)
Rachel: (on tape) (Ross hands her a glass of wine) I cannot believe that I did this. Especially after Monica just went on and on and on about it! (Mimicking Monica) "Okay Rachel! Here are the invitations Rachel! Now be very careful Rachel! Please, drinking no liquids around the invitations Rachel!" (She tilts her wine glass above and moves it back and forth across the invitations) Whoa oh! Oh-oh-oh! Oh oh-oh-oh
[Scene: Elizabeths Dorm Room, Ross is walking up to her door and knocks on it. Suddenly the door opens and Elizabeth drags him into the room.]
Joey: Oh whoa-whoa-whoa, no roommate stuff. Okay? Were on a date.
Ross: (yelling from the bedroom) WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!!!
[Scene: Ross and Emilys room, the next morning. Ross is now asleep and has his head in Monicas lap and his feet on Chandlers lap. Monica and Chandler are both still awake and depressed.]
Chandler: (asking a man leaning against the wall) What is going on?
Video:April Twelve, Eighteen hundred, Sixty-One (Monica lights Richard's cigar butt), 4:30 A.M. on Tuesday, the United States garrison at Fort Sumter was fired upon (knock on door) it is now under bombardment by....
MONICA: It's gonna be ok. Ryan's been under water. He's just gonna be so glad that you don't have barnicles on your butt.
Rachel: No, hey, come on, if he asked you first, thats only fair. (leaves)
Ross: Hey, say something to Emma on her 18th birthday!
Ross: Sweep, sweep....(He starts to paint it on her eye, making it look like she has a black eye.)
Phoebe: She was acting, she was pretending like she hasnt heard from him on years, but I found this picture on her fridge, and look (shows Monica)! Isnt this what he would look like now?
Ross: Yeah, I know, I uh, I tried them on.
ROSS: Rach, come on, look, I know how you must feel.
Phoebe: We're just... we're trying to figure out an excuse. Hey! Ooh! How about this: We can say that Monica told us 5 o'clock, not 4 o'clock. That way we're right on time! (Others start to agree but she continues) OR... or, we can plant PCP in the apartment and call the cops on her.
Joey: Come on!
Phoebe: (on the other side of the line, still pretending to be Estelle) Joey, it's Estelle. (Joey's eyes bulge up, he looks afraid)
Joey: I know, but Im a neurologist. And just to be on the safe side, Dr. Wells wanted a more comprehensive overview of you status so he sent me.
All: Oh, come on!
Joey: Wow! Cool! (He takes the guitar, stands up, and goes to play a note. However, while strumming it, he knocks it out of his hands and it bounces off the table and lands on the floor. Phoebe just stares at the guitar.)
Monica: Y'know when girls sleep with guys with weird things on their body, they tell their friends about it.
Rachel: (talking on the phone) C'mon Daddy, listen to me! All of my life, everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'. And today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat! No, I don't want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying that I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy!
Rachel: What? What are you talking about?! You-you're the one who's been telling me to get over Ross and move on. I'm moving on, and you're moving on with me. Come on, give me one good reason why you don't wanna go.
(Rachel and Monica look at each other, and agree on something without saying anything.)
Rachel: What?! Joey got a turkey stuck on his head?!
Joey: Ok, ok! Fine! You can come, but don't tell anybody else. It's up on the roof at 8.
Ross: Yes, it was the trophy you got if you won the game. But our Dad said, nobody won that game, and he was sick of our fighting, so he took the trophy and.... (pauses to collect himself, as he is on the verge of tears saying this) threw it in the lake.
[Flashback to: The Street in front of Central Perk, Ross and Joey are holding a yellow tape across the road and everyone is cheering Phoebe as she bounces around the corner on a hippity-hop.]
Phoebe: Joey? What's going on?
Ross: Come on! Come on. Come on.
Monica: What-whats going on?
Phoebe: Great! Okay, good for you! (as they leave she slaps Rachel on the butt)
Ross: Yeah, well my-my ex-wife and I share custody of Ben and umm, uh, and just so you know, Carol and I are on excellent terms as Im sure you are with your wife! (Realizes) Oh, Im sorry! (To Elizabeth) Its unbelievable!
[Chandler tries to warn Phoebe that the woman is coming on to her, but Phoebe doesn't see him.]
MR. DOUGLAS: Have the final numbers on my desk by Tuesday.
Alice: Oh my God, who died on this?!
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Chandler and Monica are sitting on the couch. Phoebe and Mike enters.]
Phoebe Sr: I realise I dont have any right to start get all parenty on you and everything now, but umm, (Sees that Phoebe isnt paying attention and is busy mimicking the puppy.) uhh Phoebe, would you please look at me and not the puppy, its very important.
Monica: Hey, come on, Phoebe, you understand dont you?
Joey: Come on, season tickets! Season tickets, do you know what that means?
Phoebe: Okay. (Phoebe turns and throws it on the couch.)
Chandler: (writes what Joey said and waits for him to go on) Yeah?
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Phoebe: All right, hold on! Okay, let's just all think.
Ross: Let me ask you something, at your school was there a like uh a place on campus where students went to uh, fool around.
Phoebe: Come on! Let us be guys! Maybe we want to be guys!
Mrs. Geller: (reaches out to fiddle with Monica's hair again, and realises) Those earrings look really lovely on you.
Ross: WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!!!
Monica: Come on! Come on, if we have sex again itll double our chances of getting pregnant. Do you think that closets still available?
Rachel: Okay, very cute braces. Anyway yknow what, the point is Tag, start looking because you are going to find those contracts on your desk. (She goes into her office.)
Chandler: Yeah, Joey just pressed something on the remote and it just, came on!
Rachel: (she leans over and kisses him on the cheek) Honey, I was wondering....
[Scene: A hallway in an apartment building. Phoebe is knocks on a door and it opens.]
Joshua: Wow! Uhh, Rachel uhh, youre a real special lady, but my divorce isnt final yet and, and, and weve been on four days, so Im thinking "No, but thanks."
MONICA: I can't believe this, just like 2 weeks ago I was watching Sudden Death, now I'm on a date with Jean-Claude Van Damme. Can you beat up that guy? [he nods] Can you beat up that guy?
Ross: Mon, look at yourself. You have cookie on your neck.
JOEY: One of the virus victims called in sick, so Cathy recommended me and boom, I'm dying on the gurney. Oh Ross, Marcel just finished his last scene if you want to go down there and say goodbye.
ROSS: Bye Marcel. See ya on the big screen. You keep people drinkin' that beer, OK. I miss you buddy.
Rachel: (looking up at the ceiling) God, Monica its on the ceiling.
Chandler: Of course I'm awake. Assume from now on that I'm always awake! (He turns the light on)
Monica: Come on guys! Lets go! Come on, its second down.
Rachel: No. But she did give us some ideas on how to induce labor.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Joey is on his hot date and theyre not speaking right now.]
Rachel: Oh, come on Ross! I think it would be really good for you!
Ross: Look, I am totally, totally over her, OK, I just... (Rachel comes over, Ross lays head on table): Hiiii!