words in movies
Monica: So, you think you'll do it on his couch?
Rachel: Okaaay. (To the guys, on the couch) Any of you guys want anything else?
Mr. Tribbiani: Just for a coupla days. I got a job midtown. I figure I'm better off staying with the kid than hauling my ass back and forth on the ferry. (Sees Roger) I don't know this one.
Mr. Tribbiani: Oh, 'scuse me. So Ross, uh, how's the wife? (Ross whines and lays his head on Chandler's shoulder) Off there too, uh? Uh, Chandler, quick, say something funny!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Mr. Tribbiani is on the phone.]
Rachel: I know, I mean, why can't parents just stay parents? (She walks over near Chandler and his gaze stays very obviously on her chest) Why do they have to become people? Why do they have... (Notices Chandler) Why can't you stop staring at my breasts?
Ross: Y'see, that's where you're wrong. Why would I marry her if I thought on any level thatthat she was a lesbian?
Monica: Y'know, all these years, I thought you were on my side. But maybe what you were doing was sucking up to Mom and Dad so they'd keep liking you better!
Roger: Listen guys, it was great seeing you again. Mon, um, easy on those cookies, okay? Remember, they're just food, they're not love.
Ronni: Now, y'see, most people, when their pets pass on, they want 'em sorta laid out like they're sleeping. But occasionally you get your person who wants them in a pose. Like, chasing their tail, (Demonstrates) or, uh, jumping to catch a frisbee.
Joey: If you go to a hotel you'll be...doing stuff. I want you right here where I can keep an eye on you.
Mr. Tribbiani: You're gonna keep an eye on us?
Joey: Okay. Now this is just for tonight. Starting tomorrow, you gotta make a change. This has gone on long enough.
Joey: I've been thinking. Y'know, about how I'm always seeing girls on top of girls...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, morning. Someone knocks on the door and Monica gets it.]
Phoebe: So what's going on?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment, Joey is trying to turn the sofabed back into a sofa. Someone knocks on the door and it rears up at him.]
Joey: Hold on, you-you knew?
Roger: Actually it's, it's quite, y'know, typical behaviour when you have this kind of dysfunctional group dynamic. Y'know, this kind of co-dependant, emotionally stunted, sitting in your stupid coffee house with your stupid big cups which, I'm sorry, might as well have nipples on them, and you're like all 'Oh, define me! Define me! Love me, I need love!'.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is letting everyone in on the new developments.]
Joey: Yeah. He's gonna keep cheating on my ma like she wanted, she's gonna keep pretending she doesn't know even though she does, and my little sister Tina can't see her husband any more because he got a restraining order...which has nothing to do with anything except that I found out today.
Chandler: Things sure have changed here on Waltons mountain.
Phoebe: Hey, Joey. What's going on?
Joey: Yeah, in my third drawer on my dresser. You dont want to lose that.
(Now Joey also wants to listen, and wants to press his ears against the door, which has a big mirror on it, he hesitates seeing himself in the mirror, but still puts his ear against it. We move again to Rachel's room.)
Tag: Whats going on Rach?
Tag: Come on Rach, lets give it another try.
Rachel: Ugh, is she pregnant yet? She doesnt need to be; shell still have the baby before I do. Oh Ross, another contraction! (Leans back on Ross for some support.)
Ross: No, hey-hey, come on, (He grabs Ben and sits him on his lap) Ben, Santa is not mad at you, okay? Hey, you're-you're his favorite little guy!
Monica: Oh thanks. (Reading the bill) Champagne, strawberries Oh my God! I cant believe Chandler ordered porn on our wedding night!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are getting ready to go on their honeymoon. Monica is entering from the bedroom.]
Rachel: (on tape) I screwed up so bad, I told Monica that I would stuff and send all these wedding invitations like weeks ago and I-I
Phoebe: Oh, it's so romantic to send people off on their honeymoon.
Chandler: (gasps) All right look, y'know, this maybe tough but come on, this is Ross! I survived college with him!
Chandler: We are on our honeymoon.
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) We are at a rest stop on Route 27. Okay. (to Rachel) There is no Route 27. (listens) (to Rachel) Okay, either 93 or 76?
Ross: She was blonde? (he looks surprised for a while, but then gets a "gotcha" expression on his face... There's knocking at the door.) Just a sec.! Okay, okay. This one's name is Sandy. She's got a degree in early childhood education, uhm... she worked for her last family for three years.
Ross: Oh yeah it will! Come on, up! Up-up-up! Up! Yes! Here we go! Pivot! (They start up the stairs again. Chandler is between the couch and the wall now.) Pivot! Piv-ot! Piv-et!! Piv-ett!!! Piv-et!
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is setting a romantic dinner for Susan as there is a knock on the door.]
Ross: What? What? What?!! Well they should put that on the box!!!
Dr. Harad: They have the honor of being born on The Fonz's half-birthday.
Mr. Treeger: Anyway uh, Ill get moving on that new door.
Joey: Whoa! Hey! Whoa!! Hold up! Are you serious?! So like 3% of the time they dont even work?! Huh? They should put that on the box!
Ross: Come on, you-you cant tell me you actually believe that-that theres a woman inside that cat!
Monica: Oh no, you see were on our honeymoon. So umm, can you do your little thing and bump us up to first class?
Rachel: Ross, there is no pressure on you. Okay? I mean you can as involved as you want. (Ross nods.)
Monica: No, they were really cool. They were on their honeymoon too!
Phoebe: Come on in!
Rachel: That-that you came on to me?
Rachel: Yeah. Your teeth? Yes, I saw them from outside. (Sitting down on the couch.) You guys are never going to believe this. But, Phoebe made out with Ralph Lauren.
Ross: (forcing the door open) Come on, Rachel, come on! Talk to me! Please!!
Pete: Look, forget the check, okay. (rips up the check) I like you. I think youre great. Come on, what do you say?
Ross: I can show you, I have it on videotape! (Stunned silence) Its an expression.
Monica: (on phone) Uh sorry, wrong number. (Hangs up)
(Chandler and Monica both turn, take the rings from Ross and Rachel respectively, and place them on each others fingers.)
Chandler: Okay, a quick one. Come on hug it out. (Paul rushes over and hugs Chandler tightly.) Oh hey! There you go. (The hug continues.) Okay. (The hug continues.)
Ross: (on tape) You didnt do it?
Ross: (on tape) Hello! Can I get you anything?
Chandler: Did you do it on our invitations?!
Ross: (pause) Not on the ones we sent out.
Rachel: (on tape) Oh I wanted to.
Ross: (on tape) So we we both wanted to.
Rachel: (on tape) Oh yeah, sure.
Rachel: (on tape) Interesting.
Phoebe: Oh, you came on to Ross!
Ross: Aw come on, Mona Lisa?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is looking at the tape sitting on the counter as Ross enters.]
Woman: Sorry. We didnt hear you; were on our honeymoon.
Phoebe: (To Monica) I didnt see this on the menu.
Chandler: I had to! Okay, imagine you were married... and you found a tape of your wife in another guys' apartment... Wouldn't you need to know what was on it?
Rachel: WhHey, I just gave you peeing on a stick.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are there and Rachel is arranging a bouquet of flowers, pricks her finger on a thorn, throws the bouquet over her head, and those you who are quicker than some already know that Monica is the one who catches it.]
Monica: Awww, come onwaitstop it. Okay, to Monica.
Joey: I set her up with this actor on my show.
Phoebe: We're so stupid! Do you know what's going on in there? They're trying to take Joey!
(Theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it.)
Joey: Dude! What is going on?!
Rachel: Thank you. (She sets it on the floor and is about to stomp on it with her shoe when the rest of the gang jumps up and yells simultaneously.) What? (They all yell again.) You dont want to see this do you?
Monica: So I hide in the shower and the next thing you know theyre going at it right on the bathroom floor.
Joey: Maybe Monicas playing a joke on ya. Yknow? Getting her own husband a hooker, thats pretty funny.
EDDIE: Wha-, n-, no. I mean it's just a bunch of pretty people runnin' around on the beach, ya know.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, his massage client is on the table and Ross is reluctantly starting his massage. He spreads some lotion in his hands, and doesnt like it.]
Chandler: (happily) Im off the list. (Sits on the couch.)
(They both start speaking Italian to each other, and since I'm not Italian and don't understand one word, we'll move on to the English portion of the show. Not, that I'm English. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just that I'm not. Y'know I think I should shut-up now and move on. Anyhoo, she says something about Joey being fat I think based on this line.)
(They sit on some front steps.)
Joey: Check it out. (He turns around, pulls down his pants, and shows Phoebe that hes got panties on.) How much of a man am I?!
Ross: (on the phone) No-no-no, it's just a bit sudden. (Listens) No, it's great. Okay? I'm totally on board. I love you too, all righty. Bye. (Hangs up.)
Monica: Come on! I really need your help!
Ross: Huh, whats fish hooking... (Joey sticks his finger in Rosss mouth and pulls on his cheek, y'know like when you hook a fish.) (to Joey, sarcastic) Thanks man, that would have been really hard to describe. What is that taste?
(Theres a knock on the door.)
MR. GELLER: I may not know any of your flash dances but I'm no slouch on the dance floor.
(Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe start to pick through the lasagne as there's a knock on the door which Monica answers.)
(Theres a knock on the door.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are on the couch as Joey and Ross enter.]
Joey: (comes out holding the tape) Here's how I know you didn't watch the tape, ok? (puts it into the vcr) If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you would have some comments. Alright, now remember, I got paid a lot of money for this and it only aired in Japan. (presses play and he appears on the TV screen and a TV commercial begins)
Joey: Well I can promise you, at least one person will be crying. (Points to himself) Im an actor, and any actor worth himself can cry on cue. (snaps fingers)
Joey: Pheebs, you gotta stop this, I working on commission here.
Rachel: Oh really? So youre saying they just slid out of your bottom drawer, crawled across the floor, then jumped on to my desk?! (I think Dogbert should have a line here.)
Ross: Oh when you beeped me I was on line at the concession stand at the movie theater.
The Museum Official: (on machine) Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. Im calling for Monica Geller.
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Chandler: That means nothing to me. (To Ross) Come on!
Marc: I am so sorry. The doctor insisted on closing the curtain for the exam.
(He starts to exit, but Chandler tries to stop him by climbing on his back and grabbing hold of the foosball table.)
Joey: I mean come on you guys! My own TV show? I just dont know if Im good enough.
JOEY: Maybe he, uhh... drives his car on the other side of the road, if ya know what I mean.
Ross: Come on, who are we kidding? Im doody. Please? Shes watchin.
[Scene: An airport in London, Ross is waiting for Emily to show up to go on their honeymoon and sees Rachel walking past.]
Referee: Here we go gentlemen, here we go! (to Tank Abbott) Are you ready? (He nods, and takes out his teeth) (to Pete) Are you ready? (Pete nods, Yes.) Lets get it on!!
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, shes pacing as Ross knocks on her door and opens it a little to stick his hands in.]
Joey: Huh, Rach I got to say its gonna take a lot of money for me to go out on a date with a dude.
Ross: Know whatIf somebody doesnt tell me whats going on right now
Monica: What about your breath?! (Breathes on him.)
Phoebe: No, I know what a silent is I meant, whats going on with your hair?
Phoebe: Yeah. Youre just gonna knock on his door and change his life forever. Youre like Ed McMahon except without the big check, or the raw sexual magnetism.
Brenda: Whats going on?!
[Cut to later in that episode. Chandler is in his bathroom with Monica, and hes panicking on how far Phoebe is pushing him.]
Joey: (Looking up at the waiter)Thats not food...No, I dont, no...(Taps Chandler on the shoulder.) Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I cant even remember what Phoebe looks like.
[Scene: At a writer's desk. The writer is working on a script for Days of Our Lives.]
[Scene: Joeys sisters house, Chandler hits himself on the head three times and knocks on the door three times. Joey answers it.]
Monica: Yeah-yeah, yknow what? Yeah, thats it-thats it, everything will be mine! Nothing will be yours! Thats-thats what I said! Oh come on, Chandler! Im talking about the barca lounger! It just, it doesnt match! Where is it gonna go?!
Joey: Okay, the next situation is for Rachel. The wedding is about to start you walk into the back room and you find Monica taking a nap with Ross. (Ross lies on the floor.) Ill be Monica. Go! (He jumps down and cuddles up with Ross.)
Phoebe: Hey! (Jumps on the bed with him.) Can we pick up where we left off?