words in movies
Monica: So, you think you'll do it on his couch?
Rachel: Okaaay. (To the guys, on the couch) Any of you guys want anything else?
Mr. Tribbiani: Just for a coupla days. I got a job midtown. I figure I'm better off staying with the kid than hauling my ass back and forth on the ferry. (Sees Roger) I don't know this one.
Mr. Tribbiani: Oh, 'scuse me. So Ross, uh, how's the wife? (Ross whines and lays his head on Chandler's shoulder) Off there too, uh? Uh, Chandler, quick, say something funny!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Mr. Tribbiani is on the phone.]
Rachel: I know, I mean, why can't parents just stay parents? (She walks over near Chandler and his gaze stays very obviously on her chest) Why do they have to become people? Why do they have... (Notices Chandler) Why can't you stop staring at my breasts?
Ross: Y'see, that's where you're wrong. Why would I marry her if I thought on any level thatthat she was a lesbian?
Monica: Y'know, all these years, I thought you were on my side. But maybe what you were doing was sucking up to Mom and Dad so they'd keep liking you better!
Roger: Listen guys, it was great seeing you again. Mon, um, easy on those cookies, okay? Remember, they're just food, they're not love.
Ronni: Now, y'see, most people, when their pets pass on, they want 'em sorta laid out like they're sleeping. But occasionally you get your person who wants them in a pose. Like, chasing their tail, (Demonstrates) or, uh, jumping to catch a frisbee.
Joey: If you go to a hotel you'll be...doing stuff. I want you right here where I can keep an eye on you.
Mr. Tribbiani: You're gonna keep an eye on us?
Joey: Okay. Now this is just for tonight. Starting tomorrow, you gotta make a change. This has gone on long enough.
Joey: I've been thinking. Y'know, about how I'm always seeing girls on top of girls...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, morning. Someone knocks on the door and Monica gets it.]
Phoebe: So what's going on?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment, Joey is trying to turn the sofabed back into a sofa. Someone knocks on the door and it rears up at him.]
Joey: Hold on, you-you knew?
Roger: Actually it's, it's quite, y'know, typical behaviour when you have this kind of dysfunctional group dynamic. Y'know, this kind of co-dependant, emotionally stunted, sitting in your stupid coffee house with your stupid big cups which, I'm sorry, might as well have nipples on them, and you're like all 'Oh, define me! Define me! Love me, I need love!'.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is letting everyone in on the new developments.]
Joey: Yeah. He's gonna keep cheating on my ma like she wanted, she's gonna keep pretending she doesn't know even though she does, and my little sister Tina can't see her husband any more because he got a restraining order...which has nothing to do with anything except that I found out today.
Chandler: Things sure have changed here on Waltons mountain.
Phoebe: Hey, Joey. What's going on?
Monica: All right? Whats going on?
Phoebe: (entering with an aquarium covered by a towel) Hey, Joey, I got you another present. (She puts it on the counter)
Chandler: (on phone) Yes, Fran. I know what time it is, but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy!
Ross: Yknow, if, if this is too weird for you, we can still back out at (A knock on the door interrupts him.)
Mr. Franklin: But we really do need to find someone up here. The work is starting to pile up. Ive got a stack of documents on my desk this high. (Holds his hand at shoulder level.)
Ross: Oh and you know what, it will be even better tomorrow, because I won't be constantly interrupted by Joey checking to see if they put chocolates on my pillow yet. (Someone knocks on the door, Ross goes to open and it's Joey, Rachel and Chandler).
Rachel: Well, apparently she caught him cheating on her with someone else. Isnt that sad? (Giggles.) God, could you imagine if I actually married him?! I mean how different would my life be?
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler is sitting on the bar, bouncing a ball against the door. Joey walks in right as he throws the ball and catches it.]
Rachel: Joey, come on! We just went over this! (She does it instead.)
Monica: Hey Gunther. Hi. (to Phoebe) I mean youre going out on a date with the noisy guy upstairs?
Rachel: On TV?! Yeah!
Rachel: Oh, wait and on the nineteenth a secret crush announces itself.
Monica: Well, doing nothing on your thirtieth is better than doing something stupid, like Ross.
Rachel: Oh! (They enter. Rachel sees his father, lying on a bed, with tubes, drip and everything) Oh! Oh my God! Ohhh, ohhh, wow, that ear and nose hair trimmer I got him was just money down the drain, huh?
Ross: Emily that's ridiculous. Look, I'm-I'm moving for you, I'm cutting friends out of my life for you. Please, just get on the plane and come to New York. Okay, you'll see you're the only person I want to be with.
Ross: But having a dove place the ring on your finger wouldve been no problem?
Joey: Well, that-that-thats it? Youre gonna, youre gonna put it on your self or anything?
Janine: Well Im gonna be on it this year. Im gonna be one of the party people.
Joey: All right, I should get going, big day a work. Yknow Im in a coma? Today, they do this test on me and it turns out Im not brain dead.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Rachel and Monica are sitting at the dinner table and Phoebe enters, knocking on the door.]
Joey: (on phone) Oh my God!
Woman on TV: I came to the big city to become a star! Ill do anything to make that happen!
Joey: (angrily and monotone) Any one of the brilliant actresses nominated for this award tonight deserves to take it home. Unfortunately only one can. (Shakes his head in disgust.) The nominees for Best Supporting Actress are from Passions Erin Goff. (There is applause, which Joey disgustedly waits to dye out.) From One Life to Live Mary Loren Bishop (They start to applaud again, but Joey interrupts in with the rest of the nominees), from All My Children Sarah Mchann, and from Days of Our Lives Jessica Ashley. And the winner is (Opens the envelope) Jessica Ashley from Days of Our Lives. (Applause) Uh, unfortunately Jessica couldnt be with us tonight so Ill be accepting this award on her behalf. (Realizes something) And Im sure that Jessica would like to thank my parents who always believed in me. Shed also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel whos sittin right there! (Points at Rachel.) (The music starts and his microphone is turned off, this angers Joey again and he disgustedly exits.)
Joey: Okay, but I dont see you asking any other paying customers to put on aprons.
Chandler: Hey listen, come on, Joey is having a problem! A little girl is beating him up.
Ross: Little louder, okay, I think there's a man on the twelfth floor in a coma that didn't quite hear you...
Rachel: She has got so much going on we-we have only two options. We have Friday
Chandler: Thats me! Come on!
Monica: Shrill?! The wedding is back on!
Phoebe: They live on the upper east side on Park Avenue!
(Monica screams, throws the mouse down, and rubs her hands on Rosss sweater to clean them.)
PHOEBE: I can be a waitress. OK watch this. Um, gimme two number ones, 86 the bacon, one Adam and Eve on a raft and rick'em, la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la.
Joey: Hey, whats the horsepower on this thing?
Ross: Its okay. Come, come on in.
(Monica sits down on the barca lounger.)
Monica: What are you trying on now?
[Scene: The Reception, Joey is helping Ross walk after Gert got through with him and Mona is looking on concerned.]
(Rachel tries to get Monica's attention to tell her Steve is stoned. She pretends to drag on a joint, and Monica thinks she's giving her the 'OK' signal. Then Rachel does it again, inhaling deeply this time. Monica waves it off as though she doesn't believe it.)
Monica: Oh how nice. Maybe later we can all go blow our noses on my wedding dress.
Joey: Actually, y'know its kinda cold, so how about I keep my boxers on, and give you all a peek at the good stuff?
Ross: Look, I gotta go pick up Ben. Everything so far sounds great Joey, just remember to keep it on the mellow side, okay? Just a couple of guys hanging out playing poker, no-no strippers or anything okay?
Krista: Oh, this is so good (A piece of cake.) you have got to try it. (She takes some on her finger and feeds it to Danny. Then takes a little more and does it again. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang stares on in shock. Then they pick up a part of it and some filling falls into his lap.)
Joey: (sadly) There will come a time in each of your careers when youll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And Im ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, hes got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me Im stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. (he gets a huge round of applause from his students.) Thank you.
Monica: Emily has probably been planning it since she was five! Ever since the first time she took a pillowcase and hung it off the back of her head. Thats what we did! We dreamed about the perfect wedding, and the perfect place, with the perfect four-tiered wedding cake (Starting to cry), with the little people on top. (Ross gets thrown a box of Kleenex from the bathroom and he gives her one.) Thanks. But the most important part is that we had the perfect guy who understood just how important all that other stuff was.
Phoebe: What is this? Whats going on?
Rachel: (on phone) What is my sister doing there?! And why are the drapes shut?!
Joey: Listen I uh (He takes her hand.) Its a scary world out there especially if youre a single mom. Yknow, I always felt like you and I have this-this special bond. Yknow? So, (gets down on one knee again) Rachel Green will you marry me?
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is on the couch as Ross enters.]
Joey: Yeah, we know, but there's a baby suckin' on it.
Ross: And on your anniversary, for shame!
[Time lapse. Ross and Joey are cleaning the table while Judy and Phoebe talk by the window. Jack and Chandler are sitting on the couch while Monica sits on the coffee table.]
Chandler: (standing up) Let me try it on!
Rachel: (holding Ben) Look Benny, spoon. (moves it back and forth) Spoon. Come on! All right, y'know what I think hes bored.
Benjamin: The selection committee has chosen the three of you as our finalists today. The ultimate decision will be based upon the answers you give to the questions I ask here. I'm gonna start with Dr. Li. Dr. Li, you claim the field is too reliant on the Linnaean taxonomic system. How do you propose to correct this problem?
Rachel: Wait! No, that's ridiculous. Come on, he lives three blocks away!
Alice: Weve been trying to get pregnant, uh pretty much ever since we got engaged, we thought wed get a jump on things, yknow no ones getting any younger.
Joey: (answering the phone) Hello? Oh, hi. Yeah, hold on a second. Ross, it's Julie, for you. (Throws him the phone.)
Ross: Hey Gunther, can I get a couple of blueberry muffins to go? (He puts a bag with diapers in it on the counter.)
Joey: Uhh, because I'm shooting a scene right now. Yeah, I uh, I play a gladiator. Uh, y'know what? Hold-hold on a second. (To no one in particular) Can we cut? Yeah, my-my friends are here, I'm gonna take a little break.
Joey: Wha-a how about this: Another table leaves, right? But there�s still some food left on their place, okay, what�s the restaurant�s policy about people eatin� that?
Ross: All right, heres the ring. (Shows Chandler the wedding ring he plans on giving Emily)
Tag: Okay! Feel free to look, but Im telling you those contracts are not on this desk.
Ross: (entering) What's going on?
(He hurriedly checks his hair in his computer screen, before taking a sporting trophy from a drawer to place ostentatiously on his desk. An attractive young woman opens the door.)
Ross: (he rolls up his sleeve) Gimme the bottle. (Joey hands him the bottle and Ross squirts some on his arm.) Gimme the towel. (Joey gives him the towel and he wipes it off.)
(The whole gang is helping Rachel mail out resumes while whistling the theme from The Bridge on the River Kwai.)
Chandler: Whats going on?
(Ross keeps giggling and Rachel decides upon revenge. She gets up and kisses the rather large man in the seat in front of Ross on the back of his head. The guy turns around angrily.)
Rachel: (humoring Phoebe) Oh my God, he dream-cheated on you!
Joey: Uh, okay Ill-Ill-Ill break it down. (He hands the phone to Phoebe, gets up, picks up a chair, and starts banging it on the floor.)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
[Cut to Elizabeth Hornswoggle's bathroom, Ross frantically pulls his shirt out and drops his pants. He exhales in sheer ecstasy as the coolness of the bathroom envelops his legs. He sits on the cast iron bathtub, again gasping in pleasure. He next grabs a magazine and starts to blow air on his exposed legs, but that doesn't work the way he wants it to. So he throws the magazine down, looks around for another idea, and finds one. He jumps up and hops to the sink. He turns on the water and starts to splash some on his legs, cooling them further.]
Joey: Me too! Theres a game on Tuesday do you wanna go?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are on the couch talking. Phoebe is getting coffee.]
[Scene: Ross's apartment the next morning. Ross is very hung-over on the couch as Joey enters with a cup of coffee for him.]
[Scene: Richard's apartment. There's a knock on the door.The listing agent opens the door for Chandler and Joey.]
(Phoebe notices the Soapie on the counter.)
Catherine: Oh hi, come on in. I'm Catherine, the listing agent.
Ross: Yeah, Ill get right on that.
Rachel: Okay. Switch places with me! Switch places with me! Come on! Ill go under, you go over!
Ross: No Rach! Come on! No-no! Yeah, Im sure we wont get arrested for this.
Chandler: All right! (He joins them in the fort and comes up putting on a bonnet.) Isn't this a woman's hat?
Chandler: (To Monica) When I was growing up I played the one on the far left.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is working on her book at the kitchen table, Monica is on the couch, and Chandler is entering from the bathroom carrying a package of toilet paper.]
Joey: Oh... food. No, sex. Food! Sex! Food! Se-I don't know! Good God, I don't know, I want girls on bread!
Dr. Miller: 1 2 3! (Rachel jerks back on 3.)
The Director: Hang on a minute! Joey, you keep touching your face. Is something wrong?
Joey: (running from his bedroom) Oh my God! I overslept! I was supposed to be on the set a half an hour ago! I gotta get out of here!
Monica: All right uh, the important thing is to take your time, you want to hit em all, and you mix em up. You gotta keep them on their toes.
Rachel: (singing) Love to love ya baby! Ow! Love to love ya baby! Ow! (There's a knock on the door, she turns off the music, puts on her robe, and goes to answer the door.) Love to love ya, baby! (There's another knock.) Darnit! (Looks through the peephole and turns on the lights.) Ugh. (She opens the door to Ross who's leaning against the door jam.)
Ross: Not well. I went on the subway again and someone did sit on my hand but that person was neither female nor wearing pants.
The Director: But youre supposed to work on Monday.
(Ross continues to climb down. He puts his other foot further down on Joeys torso, but that doesnt work very well and hes forced to wrap his legs around Joey. Which then forces Joey to get a nice and close view of Rosss crotch.)
Rachel: He didnt turn me down! Hes at the game isnt he? I got the date, Im just not on it!
Chandler: Depends on what you mean by we.
Monica: (entering) Whats going on?
Chandler: Sorry, I just cant sleep. Ooh! (Turns on the light and Monica groans.) Where is that book that you are reading with the two women who were ice-skating and wearing, wearing those hats with the flowers on it? Because every time I look at that cover Im like (Fake snores.)
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. Chandler is still leaning against the door, keeping Joey out, who is still banging and shouting on the other side.]
Joey: Im still on the set!
Ross: There you go. You put on a tuxedo! Now that wasnt so scary, was it?