words in movies
Chandler: And we just sit here. I mean if I die the only way people would even know I was here, would be by the ass print on this chair! Look, we have to do something. Okay? Something huge!
Chandler: Were going to Everest! Okay, it would be nice to leave an ass print on Everest!
[And with that we start off on a series of clips from the entire history of Ross and Rachel, from Rosss point of view. The first clip is from The Pilot.]
Ross: You know you probably didn't know this, but back in high school, I had a, um, major crush on you.
Rachel: Oh, look at the little cat! [a small kitten is on the roof behind Ross] Look at it!
Ross: What? [the cat jumps on his shoulders] Ow!
Monica, Joey, and Phoebe: [singing] I'm on top of the world, looking down on creation and the only explanation I can find...
Ross: Ok, um, uh, more clothes in the dryer? (Ross turns and bangs his head on an open dryer door.) I'm fine, I'm fine.
Ross: Yeah, oh hey, you are right on time.
Rachel: Come on Ross! You said you wanted to talk about it, lets talk about it!! How was she?
Ross: WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!!!
Rachel: Oh, no! No you guys! Come on, you dont have to do that! Im happy for him! I am! I reallyIm-Im happIll work on it.
Chandler: Come on, Ross? Remember back in college, when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck?
(Everyone looks at him. He realizes he just spilled the beans about Ross's crush on Rachel.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is trying to hang up on Julie.]
[Scene, A Restaurant, Rachel is on her date, drunk, and is leaving that answering machine message.]
Rachel: (on phone) Ross, hi, it's Rachel. I'm just calling to say that um, everything's fine and I'm really happy for you and your cat...(cut)...I am over you. I am over you and that, my friend, is what they call closure. (She hangs up and tosses phone in the ice bucket.)
Rachel: Oh my God. Oh my God Ross, no, hang up the phone, give me the phone Ross, give me the phone, give me the phone, give me the. . . (She jumps the couch and lands on Ross's back, finally getting the phone from him. Ross has a confused expression on his face.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is deciding on whether or not to go to the wedding.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is watching the Prom Video and Rachel is about to make her entrance on the video. The italics are portions of the prom video.]
Chandler: Ahh, so how many cameras are actually on you?
Mrs. Geller: (to Ross on the stairs) I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
Ross: (walks down the stairs and grabs the flowers out of the vase on the endtable) Okay dad.
Ross: Now, hold on! Hold on! (Stops him) Look, look, your daughter and I are supposed to leave tonight for our honeymoon, now-now you-you tell her that Im gonna be at that airport and I hope that shell be there too! Oh yeah, I said Rachels name, but it didnt mean anything, Okay? Shes-shes just a friend and thats all! (Rachel sits down, depressed.) Thats all! Now just tell Emily that I love her and that I cant imagine spending my life with anyone else. Please, promise me that youll tell her that.
Rachel: Yknow what Tag, if we went down to the office you would see those contracts sitting on your desk.
Rachel: Okay? Whoa, wait! (She undoes one button on Phoebe's dress.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross is writing on the Magna-Doodle as Rachel enters.]
Janice: (notices Monicas engagement ring) Ohh! What is that on your finger?! Im blind!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is being yelled at by her dad over the phone, and hes been going on for so long Rachel is holding the phone away from her ear and reading a book.]
Joey: Ah yeahwait a second now! Look were gonna have to set a spending limit on the date. I dont have the money to take her to a fancy place like that.
Monica: Okay, come on, do it one more time!
Rachel: All right. So you're telling me that there is nothing going on between you and Chandler.
Ross: So Joey umm, you look familiar. Are uh, are you on TV or something?
All: Rach! Come on! Rach!
Phoebe: Rachel! Come on out! Monica made breakfast!
All: Come on Phoebe! You can do it Phoebe! Come on!
The Director: (entering, drunk) I am hurt! (to Joey and Kate) A plague on both your houses! (walks away)
(Phoebe throws another jab, and lands it on Joeys nose, causing it to bleed.)
MONICA: Joey, you know, maybe your just not used to kissing men, maybe you just tensed up a little, maybe that's what you need to work on.
Ross: Monica had such a crush on him. Yeah, she used to kiss his poster every night before she went to bed.
Phoebe: Wait! (Knocks on the door and Ursula opens it.)
Phoebe: Hey, whats going on?
PHOEBE: Yeah, I agree. Ya know, I think fancy parties are only fun if you're fancy on the inside and I'm just not sure we are.
MONICA: Ok people, I want you to take a piece of paper, here you go, and write down your most embarassing memory. Oh, and I do ask that when you're not using the markers, you put the caps back on them because they will dry out.
Mike: Your lipstick's on his mouth.
Ross: Come on!
All: Come on! Speech!
Mrs. Geller: Speech! Come on Monica!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Tag are making out on the couch.]
(Nina puts her hands on her hips, then gives Chandler a quizzical look.)
Rachel: (on the answering machine) Oh, come on, miss, isn't there any way that you can just let me off...
Joey: Oh, come on Rach! My turn just started!
Tag: Okay. (They sit on the step.)
Phoebe: Well not so much a pet as, you know, an occasional visitor who I put food out for, you know. Kinda like Santa. Except Santa doesn't poop on the plate of cookies.
RACHEL: Oh, come on, would you just grab my ass.
Monica: I'm not really here. Just thought I'd drop these off...on the way.. my way... Do you come here a lot? Without me?
Ross: So thats the only reason she could be here huh? It couldnt have anything to do with the fact that-that maybe Im a good listener and I uh I put on a great slide show!
Ross: Fine, yknow what, thats it. From now on, Joey, I want you to be my best man.
[Scene: Max and David's lab, they are working. Phoebe knocks on the door]
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch in Central Perk]
(Ross walks in, eating cotton candy. Monica nudges Chandler who hides the picture in his magazine. Ross sits down on the chair, he seems kinda out of it.)
Rachel: Ross, see! I told you, those swings are evil! Alright, that is it. That is the last time Emma is getting on one of those things for her entire life.
Monica: (trying to change subjects, excitedly) So! Dinner in the kitchen around four! Ill see you then. (Pats Chandler on the shoulder and goes into the living room.)
Joey: Oh-oh! (Shows him whats on the back, "Best Man Joey Tribbiani, with a huge picture of him.)
Ross: Well look, I'm just trying to focus on the "I get to see my wife," part, all right? And not the part that makes me do this. (He takes a big swig of Pepto Bismol.)
Joey: No. It just seems like Ross is the kind of a guy that would marry a woman on the verge of being a lesbian and then push her over the edge.
Mrs. Geller: What is going on?!
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Shhh! Im on a call! (On phone) Umm well yeah, you can pick it up tonight, say 8:30? At-at my apartment. Its umm, its umm 5 Morton Street, Apartment 14, umm and then maybe yknow after we can grab a bite to eat or whatever. (Listens) Okay, well okay Ill see you then. (Listens) Bye. (Hangs up.)
Tag: Come on, lets have some fun. Huh? (To Rachel) What do you want to do today?
Joey: It was amazing! And not just for her... uh-uh. For me, too. It's like, all of a sudden, I'm blind. But all my other senses are heightened, y'know? It's like... I was able to appreciate it on another level.
Ross: Come on thats not fair! I mean you havent even heard me play!
Rachel: Really?! Got a little crush on Tag there do ya?
(There is a knock on the door.)
Monica: (on phone) Uh, Michelle. Yeah, that was me, I-I dialed your number by mistake. (listens) Oh, you're so sweet. Yeah, we were a great couple. I know I really miss him. Well, you know how it is, it's that....
Monica: Mom says it's all of Manhattan, parts of Brooklyn and Queens, and they have no idea when it's coming back on.
Rachel: Oh! Yay! Look! Theres a piece that doesnt have floor on it!
Monica: Ok, trying to turn me on by making a mess? Know your audience! Besides, tomorrow we're doing those fertility tests and until then you need to keep your tadpoles in the tank.
Monica: I'm his sister, okay? I love him! I don't want to see him get hurt! Come on! Doesnt that give me the right to control himhelp him?
(They edge closer to the phone on the table.)
Joey: Stupid Gap on every corner!
Joey: Oh-no-no-no, you are! You do this, you give me the great advice, and hey listen, I was thinking about what you said yesterday about focusing on one woman, Im gonna do that.
Monica: Come on! It wasnt that bad!
ROSS: Hey, hey buddy, Marcel. Marcel. [Marcel doesn't react so Ross starts singing] In the jungle, the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight. [no reaction from Marcel, Monica and Joey urge him on] In the jungle, the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight. [Marcel looks over and everyone joins in] a-weema-way, a-weema-way..... [Marcel runs over and hops up on Ross's shoulder]
Mr. Treeger:: Look come on, eh, just ah, just ah, put your arms around me, eh.
Chandler: Okay! (He joins her on one knee) Okay! Okay! I'll do it! Oh God, I thought (Starting to cry, pauses) Wait a minute, I-I can do this. (Pause) I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, (Pause) you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. (Starting to cry again.) And if youll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. (Pause as he gets out the ring.) Monica, will you marry me?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the entire gang is there, eating breakfast. Phoebe is on the couch, fidgeting.]
[Scene: Their Building, Monica and Rachel are going to apologize to Danny. Rachel knocks on his door, which he opens and he has this really bushy beard and long hair. Picture Paul Bunyan.]
Phoebe: Oh. (Joey flips the pancake and Phoebe catches it and throws it on her plate.)
Monica: That was that girl Megan! She booked the Swing Kings on the day of our wedding and said that I couldnt have them back unless I gave her the dress!
Monica: All right? Whats going on?
Phoebe: (entering with an aquarium covered by a towel) Hey, Joey, I got you another present. (She puts it on the counter)
Chandler: (on phone) Yes, Fran. I know what time it is, but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy!
Ross: Yknow, if, if this is too weird for you, we can still back out at (A knock on the door interrupts him.)
Mr. Franklin: But we really do need to find someone up here. The work is starting to pile up. Ive got a stack of documents on my desk this high. (Holds his hand at shoulder level.)
Ross: Oh and you know what, it will be even better tomorrow, because I won't be constantly interrupted by Joey checking to see if they put chocolates on my pillow yet. (Someone knocks on the door, Ross goes to open and it's Joey, Rachel and Chandler).
Rachel: Well, apparently she caught him cheating on her with someone else. Isnt that sad? (Giggles.) God, could you imagine if I actually married him?! I mean how different would my life be?
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler is sitting on the bar, bouncing a ball against the door. Joey walks in right as he throws the ball and catches it.]
Rachel: Joey, come on! We just went over this! (She does it instead.)
Monica: Hey Gunther. Hi. (to Phoebe) I mean youre going out on a date with the noisy guy upstairs?
Rachel: On TV?! Yeah!
Rachel: Oh, wait and on the nineteenth a secret crush announces itself.
Monica: Well, doing nothing on your thirtieth is better than doing something stupid, like Ross.
Rachel: Oh! (They enter. Rachel sees his father, lying on a bed, with tubes, drip and everything) Oh! Oh my God! Ohhh, ohhh, wow, that ear and nose hair trimmer I got him was just money down the drain, huh?
Ross: Emily that's ridiculous. Look, I'm-I'm moving for you, I'm cutting friends out of my life for you. Please, just get on the plane and come to New York. Okay, you'll see you're the only person I want to be with.
Ross: But having a dove place the ring on your finger wouldve been no problem?
Joey: Well, that-that-thats it? Youre gonna, youre gonna put it on your self or anything?
Janine: Well Im gonna be on it this year. Im gonna be one of the party people.
Joey: All right, I should get going, big day a work. Yknow Im in a coma? Today, they do this test on me and it turns out Im not brain dead.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Rachel and Monica are sitting at the dinner table and Phoebe enters, knocking on the door.]
Joey: (on phone) Oh my God!
Woman on TV: I came to the big city to become a star! Ill do anything to make that happen!
Joey: (angrily and monotone) Any one of the brilliant actresses nominated for this award tonight deserves to take it home. Unfortunately only one can. (Shakes his head in disgust.) The nominees for Best Supporting Actress are from Passions Erin Goff. (There is applause, which Joey disgustedly waits to dye out.) From One Life to Live Mary Loren Bishop (They start to applaud again, but Joey interrupts in with the rest of the nominees), from All My Children Sarah Mchann, and from Days of Our Lives Jessica Ashley. And the winner is (Opens the envelope) Jessica Ashley from Days of Our Lives. (Applause) Uh, unfortunately Jessica couldnt be with us tonight so Ill be accepting this award on her behalf. (Realizes something) And Im sure that Jessica would like to thank my parents who always believed in me. Shed also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel whos sittin right there! (Points at Rachel.) (The music starts and his microphone is turned off, this angers Joey again and he disgustedly exits.)
Joey: Okay, but I dont see you asking any other paying customers to put on aprons.
Chandler: Hey listen, come on, Joey is having a problem! A little girl is beating him up.
Ross: Little louder, okay, I think there's a man on the twelfth floor in a coma that didn't quite hear you...
Rachel: She has got so much going on we-we have only two options. We have Friday
Chandler: Thats me! Come on!
Monica: Shrill?! The wedding is back on!
Phoebe: They live on the upper east side on Park Avenue!
(Monica screams, throws the mouse down, and rubs her hands on Rosss sweater to clean them.)
PHOEBE: I can be a waitress. OK watch this. Um, gimme two number ones, 86 the bacon, one Adam and Eve on a raft and rick'em, la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la.
Joey: Hey, whats the horsepower on this thing?
Ross: Its okay. Come, come on in.