words in movies
Chandler: Wait. Before we go in, I just want you to know I love you. I had a great time on our honeymoon, and I cant wait to go in there and spend the rest of our life together.
Phoebe: Come on in!
Monica: Oh, so much fun. But the best part is, we met this incredible couple on the way back.
Monica: No, they were really cool. They were on their honeymoon too!
Rachel: And so I had a lot of work to do so Ross, nice guy that he is, offered to help me out. And then we had a little wine, we got to talking, and the next thing you know out of nowhere Ross comes on to me.
Rachel: That-that you came on to me?
Ross: Yes lets. Yknow what? Uh, its-its not important. What is important is that, is that were having a baby. And its notDoesnt matter who came on to who.
Ross: I can show you, I have it on videotape! (Stunned silence) Its an expression.
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Eighth street deli?
Monica: (on phone) Uh sorry, wrong number. (Hangs up)
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) (To All) Its the deli again!
Ross: Filming Rachel is not something I planned. Okay look, heres what happened, and Joey you-you can back me up on this. All right, about-about a month and a half ago I came to you with a problem? Umm, a personal thing.
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, Ross is on his date with Kristen and theyre drinking wine.]
(They sit down on the couch, which is in front of the still recording camera.)
Rachel: Thank you. (She sets it on the floor and is about to stomp on it with her shoe when the rest of the gang jumps up and yells simultaneously.) What? (They all yell again.) You dont want to see this do you?
Phoebe: Okay fine! Fine! Well just have to think of some other way to put the whole Who came onto who, thing to rest! Come on now, think!!
Ross: (on tape) Hello! Can I get you anything?
Rachel: (on tape) Oh, thank God youre here! You have to help me! Were you just talking to yourself?
Rachel: (on tape) I screwed up so bad, I told Monica that I would stuff and send all these wedding invitations like weeks ago and I-I
Ross: (on tape) You didnt do it?
Rachel: (on tape) I-I knowI had put them in in-in my desk at work and I completely forgot about them until today.
Rachel: (on tape) (Ross hands her a glass of wine) I cannot believe that I did this. Especially after Monica just went on and on and on about it! (Mimicking Monica) "Okay Rachel! Here are the invitations Rachel! Now be very careful Rachel! Please, drinking no liquids around the invitations Rachel!" (She tilts her wine glass above and moves it back and forth across the invitations) Whoa oh! Oh-oh-oh! Oh oh-oh-oh
Chandler: Did you do it on our invitations?!
Ross: (pause) Not on the ones we sent out.
Rachel: (on tape) Can you believe this is already happening? I mean it seems like yesterday they just got engaged.
Ross: (on tape) I know. Hey remember remember the night they got engaged? How uh, you and I almost
Rachel: (on tape) Oh, I remember how we almost. Do you think we wouldve gone through with it? Yknow, if we hadnt gotten caught. Do you think we wouldve done it?
Ross: (on tape) I mean I I know I wanted to. I just, I just wasnt sure if you wanted to.
Rachel: (on tape) Oh I wanted to.
Ross: (on tape) So we we both wanted to.
Rachel: (on tape) Interesting.
Ross: (on tape) Yeah. (Pause) Anyway umm, it probably worked out for the best.
Rachel: (on tape) Oh yeah, sure.
Rachel: (on tape) Ross did I ever tell you about the time that I went backpacking through Western Europe?
Phoebe: Oh, you came on to Ross!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is looking at the tape sitting on the counter as Ross enters.]
Ross: Yeah. Listen about that, the whole uh, who came on to who thing really doesnt matter. I mean, I think it wouldve happened either way. I mean if you hadnt initiated it I-I-I know I wouldve.
(Ross grabs the tape and heads for the VCR as Rachel goes over and puts the chain on the door and locks it.)
Monica: (on phone) Hello Greg? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica from the plane? Listen, the number that you gave me 853-5 (Listens) (To Chandler) That is their old number! Jennys been giving it out since they moved!
Monica: (on phone) Hey listen umm, how would you like to get together? Say next Saturday? (Listens) Okay, how about Sunday? (Listens) Okay umm, the week after that? (Listens) The week after that? (Listens) Yknow what Greg? Yknow what? We are good, interesting, funny people with good questions and if you and your precious Jenny cant see that then (Listens) January 15th? (Chandler dances.) Well see you then! (Listens) Okay!
(Monica sits down on the barca lounger.)
Monica: What are you trying on now?
[Scene: The Reception, Joey is helping Ross walk after Gert got through with him and Mona is looking on concerned.]
(Rachel tries to get Monica's attention to tell her Steve is stoned. She pretends to drag on a joint, and Monica thinks she's giving her the 'OK' signal. Then Rachel does it again, inhaling deeply this time. Monica waves it off as though she doesn't believe it.)
Monica: Oh how nice. Maybe later we can all go blow our noses on my wedding dress.
Joey: Actually, y'know its kinda cold, so how about I keep my boxers on, and give you all a peek at the good stuff?
Ross: Look, I gotta go pick up Ben. Everything so far sounds great Joey, just remember to keep it on the mellow side, okay? Just a couple of guys hanging out playing poker, no-no strippers or anything okay?
Krista: Oh, this is so good (A piece of cake.) you have got to try it. (She takes some on her finger and feeds it to Danny. Then takes a little more and does it again. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang stares on in shock. Then they pick up a part of it and some filling falls into his lap.)
Joey: (sadly) There will come a time in each of your careers when youll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And Im ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, hes got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me Im stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. (he gets a huge round of applause from his students.) Thank you.
Monica: Emily has probably been planning it since she was five! Ever since the first time she took a pillowcase and hung it off the back of her head. Thats what we did! We dreamed about the perfect wedding, and the perfect place, with the perfect four-tiered wedding cake (Starting to cry), with the little people on top. (Ross gets thrown a box of Kleenex from the bathroom and he gives her one.) Thanks. But the most important part is that we had the perfect guy who understood just how important all that other stuff was.
Phoebe: What is this? Whats going on?
Rachel: (on phone) What is my sister doing there?! And why are the drapes shut?!
Joey: Listen I uh (He takes her hand.) Its a scary world out there especially if youre a single mom. Yknow, I always felt like you and I have this-this special bond. Yknow? So, (gets down on one knee again) Rachel Green will you marry me?
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is on the couch as Ross enters.]
Joey: Yeah, we know, but there's a baby suckin' on it.
Ross: And on your anniversary, for shame!
[Time lapse. Ross and Joey are cleaning the table while Judy and Phoebe talk by the window. Jack and Chandler are sitting on the couch while Monica sits on the coffee table.]
Chandler: (standing up) Let me try it on!
Rachel: (holding Ben) Look Benny, spoon. (moves it back and forth) Spoon. Come on! All right, y'know what I think hes bored.
Benjamin: The selection committee has chosen the three of you as our finalists today. The ultimate decision will be based upon the answers you give to the questions I ask here. I'm gonna start with Dr. Li. Dr. Li, you claim the field is too reliant on the Linnaean taxonomic system. How do you propose to correct this problem?
Rachel: Wait! No, that's ridiculous. Come on, he lives three blocks away!
Alice: Weve been trying to get pregnant, uh pretty much ever since we got engaged, we thought wed get a jump on things, yknow no ones getting any younger.
Joey: (answering the phone) Hello? Oh, hi. Yeah, hold on a second. Ross, it's Julie, for you. (Throws him the phone.)
Ross: Hey Gunther, can I get a couple of blueberry muffins to go? (He puts a bag with diapers in it on the counter.)
Joey: Uhh, because I'm shooting a scene right now. Yeah, I uh, I play a gladiator. Uh, y'know what? Hold-hold on a second. (To no one in particular) Can we cut? Yeah, my-my friends are here, I'm gonna take a little break.
Joey: Wha-a how about this: Another table leaves, right? But there�s still some food left on their place, okay, what�s the restaurant�s policy about people eatin� that?
Ross: All right, heres the ring. (Shows Chandler the wedding ring he plans on giving Emily)
Tag: Okay! Feel free to look, but Im telling you those contracts are not on this desk.
Ross: (entering) What's going on?
(He hurriedly checks his hair in his computer screen, before taking a sporting trophy from a drawer to place ostentatiously on his desk. An attractive young woman opens the door.)
Ross: (he rolls up his sleeve) Gimme the bottle. (Joey hands him the bottle and Ross squirts some on his arm.) Gimme the towel. (Joey gives him the towel and he wipes it off.)
(The whole gang is helping Rachel mail out resumes while whistling the theme from The Bridge on the River Kwai.)
Chandler: Whats going on?
(Ross keeps giggling and Rachel decides upon revenge. She gets up and kisses the rather large man in the seat in front of Ross on the back of his head. The guy turns around angrily.)
Rachel: (humoring Phoebe) Oh my God, he dream-cheated on you!
Joey: Uh, okay Ill-Ill-Ill break it down. (He hands the phone to Phoebe, gets up, picks up a chair, and starts banging it on the floor.)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
[Cut to Elizabeth Hornswoggle's bathroom, Ross frantically pulls his shirt out and drops his pants. He exhales in sheer ecstasy as the coolness of the bathroom envelops his legs. He sits on the cast iron bathtub, again gasping in pleasure. He next grabs a magazine and starts to blow air on his exposed legs, but that doesn't work the way he wants it to. So he throws the magazine down, looks around for another idea, and finds one. He jumps up and hops to the sink. He turns on the water and starts to splash some on his legs, cooling them further.]
Joey: Me too! Theres a game on Tuesday do you wanna go?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are on the couch talking. Phoebe is getting coffee.]
[Scene: Ross's apartment the next morning. Ross is very hung-over on the couch as Joey enters with a cup of coffee for him.]
[Scene: Richard's apartment. There's a knock on the door.The listing agent opens the door for Chandler and Joey.]
(Phoebe notices the Soapie on the counter.)
Catherine: Oh hi, come on in. I'm Catherine, the listing agent.
Ross: Yeah, Ill get right on that.
Rachel: Okay. Switch places with me! Switch places with me! Come on! Ill go under, you go over!
Ross: No Rach! Come on! No-no! Yeah, Im sure we wont get arrested for this.
Chandler: All right! (He joins them in the fort and comes up putting on a bonnet.) Isn't this a woman's hat?
Chandler: (To Monica) When I was growing up I played the one on the far left.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is working on her book at the kitchen table, Monica is on the couch, and Chandler is entering from the bathroom carrying a package of toilet paper.]
Joey: Oh... food. No, sex. Food! Sex! Food! Se-I don't know! Good God, I don't know, I want girls on bread!
Dr. Miller: 1 2 3! (Rachel jerks back on 3.)
The Director: Hang on a minute! Joey, you keep touching your face. Is something wrong?
Joey: (running from his bedroom) Oh my God! I overslept! I was supposed to be on the set a half an hour ago! I gotta get out of here!
Monica: All right uh, the important thing is to take your time, you want to hit em all, and you mix em up. You gotta keep them on their toes.
Rachel: (singing) Love to love ya baby! Ow! Love to love ya baby! Ow! (There's a knock on the door, she turns off the music, puts on her robe, and goes to answer the door.) Love to love ya, baby! (There's another knock.) Darnit! (Looks through the peephole and turns on the lights.) Ugh. (She opens the door to Ross who's leaning against the door jam.)
Ross: Not well. I went on the subway again and someone did sit on my hand but that person was neither female nor wearing pants.
The Director: But youre supposed to work on Monday.
(Ross continues to climb down. He puts his other foot further down on Joeys torso, but that doesnt work very well and hes forced to wrap his legs around Joey. Which then forces Joey to get a nice and close view of Rosss crotch.)
Rachel: He didnt turn me down! Hes at the game isnt he? I got the date, Im just not on it!
Chandler: Depends on what you mean by we.
Monica: (entering) Whats going on?
Chandler: Sorry, I just cant sleep. Ooh! (Turns on the light and Monica groans.) Where is that book that you are reading with the two women who were ice-skating and wearing, wearing those hats with the flowers on it? Because every time I look at that cover Im like (Fake snores.)
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. Chandler is still leaning against the door, keeping Joey out, who is still banging and shouting on the other side.]
Joey: Im still on the set!
Ross: There you go. You put on a tuxedo! Now that wasnt so scary, was it?
Chandler: There's a tape here with Monica's name on it.
Phoebe: Whats going on?
Joey: Ooh! A tape with a girls name on it. It's probably a sex tape... (realises) Wait a minute... This says Monica... (looks around) And this is Richard's apartment... (realises some more)
Monica: (returning) Okay! (Sets down a huge 3" 3-ring binder on the table.)
Monica: Ooh, and I can do this. (She kisses him on the cheek.)
ROSS: Dollars? You spent $1200 dollars on a plastic bird?
(Ross walks down the aisle with Phoebe and Rachel on his arms.)
Joey: (entering) Okay, I'm in my sweat pants. Bring on the food! (Sees that Chandler has a worried look on his face) What's the matter?
Rachel: Go on! Go on. (She turns back to Chandler.)
Monica: Oh, is it that pinball machine with the big bow on it?
Monica: No! No you should! A lot of major actors do nude scenes! I mean the chance to star in a movie? Come on!
Rachel: Oh yes! Thank you! (He does so and Rachel sits down on the couch.)
Elizabeth: Uh, Im a little embarrassed about calling you a hottie on my evaluation
Ross: That's nice. Get out Let's go, come on.
Joey: Youre still a tiny bit on fire there.
Ross: Oh, I thought you guys had just been on like four dates, I didnt realise that had become anything, yet.
Phoebe: Hey Ross! So listen, about you and the dinosaur girl, are you really just gonna let a couple of Nobel prizes scare you off? What is that, come on, a piece of paper?
Rachel: No yknow, I dont want to switch! Come on! I can throw wet paper towels here!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that morning. The porn is still on, there are three women getting ready to shave the chest of some guy. Joey and Chandler are wondering why that guy is letting them shave his chest, and Monica and Rachel are eating breakfast at the foosball table.]
David: No! Come on!
[Scene: The Lamaze class, several couples and one trio sit on the floor, introducing themselves to the teacher, whos got as far as a woman sitting next to Ross, Carol, and Susan.]
Ross: Yeah, um, okay see, you were, you were on the list but my friend, Chandler (Chandler waves) brought up the very good point that you are international, so I bumped you for Wynona Rider, local.
Ross: Okay, you're in bed. She's over on your side, cuddling. Now you wait for her to drift off, and then you hug her (demonstrates on the cushion) and roll her back over to her side of the bed. And then you rollll a-way. Hug for her! Roll for you.
Rachel: (looking at the speed dial) Oh, I win! Hes got Barneys on his speed dial.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, and Ross are sitting on the couch.]
[Cut to Central Perk, Fat Monica and Rachel are on the couch.]
Monica: (on phone) Awww, y'know what your nickname is, Mr. Big
(Rachel looks bored. At this point, Rossa figment of Rachel's imagination shows up on the balcony and starts talking to her.)
Rachel: Okay. Great! So now that you guys all know you can help me. Give me some advice on how Im gonna tell Ross!
Rachel: Yknow youre-youre probably wondering about the old date on there.
Joey: Youre still a tiny bit on fire there!
Joey: What? Whats going on?
Monica: Phoebe, come on, you have to tell us.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. They are preparing to show Laura around. Laura is standing with her back to the window, Chandler and Monica are standing on either side of her, facing each other.