words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Chandler enter, the others are sitting on the couch.]
Chandler: Well, it's just with uhm, work and the stress of adoption, we just don't feel like we have the energy. Plus, we don't think it's fair that every year the burden falls on us.
Monica: You guys, I ordered some chocolate pies from that bakery on Bleecker. Could you pick them up for me?
Rachel: Where am I gonna get a cowgirl outfit on Thanksgiving?
Monica: Okay, I'm gonna go check on something across the hall. You start by washing these (she gives Chandler a bowl with cranberries. Then, while she's going outside, she sees him with a bottle of soap in his hands) Not with soap!! (she leaves)
Rachel: Phoebe, I think... It's just too weird, I just saw a one year old running around with pantyhose on!
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe! Come on! You know what, it's already three o'clock and they haven't even gotten to Emma's group yet. We gotta go, we got dinner!
Rachel: No Phoebe, I am not letting you put makeup on my baby!
Joey: Yeah. I am sorry he's not here too, but I got to say, (takes some nachos from a plate on the seat where Chandler should have been) I am really enjoying Nacho Chair.
Ross: I know, I know! When I was here for Holidays on Ice (Joey looks around worried hoping no one heard that) I was sitting so far away Michelle Kwan couldn't read my banner!
Joey: Okay. Rachel and Phoebe are already there, okay? So they probably started without us. We could just slip in and no-one needs to know where we were! (he raises his hands and on his right one there's a Rangers foam finger)
Joey: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You just want to put it on your hand!
Joey: We figured we could be late because you guys were gonna be on time (he points the foam finger at the girls)
Phoebe: And it looks like she put makeup on her!
Joey: All right. Hey Rach, while you're in there, throw something on Alicia Mae.
Chandler: (peeping) Everything is so distorted! Looks like Joey has a giant hand! Which says "Rangers" on it. They went to the game!
Phoebe: We're just... we're trying to figure out an excuse. Hey! Ooh! How about this: We can say that Monica told us 5 o'clock, not 4 o'clock. That way we're right on time! (Others start to agree but she continues) OR... or, we can plant PCP in the apartment and call the cops on her.
Rachel: You know what, we just say that she said it was 5 o'clock. We'll just act casual. We're not late, we're right on time. (When she finishes talking, a note is pushed from under Monica's and Chandler's door, into the hall. Ross picks it up and reads it out loud)
Phoebe: Well, I'm not going in first. I bet that vein on Monica's forehead is popping like crazy.
Rachel: Alright, enough, enough, come on. Let's just all go in at the same time.
Ross: Wha...? Oh sure, now they lock it, but when they're having sex on the couch, its like: "Come on in, my butt is surprisingly hairy".
Rachel: Alright, come on... (starts to knock on the door) Alright, you guys. We're so sorry we're late. Please let us in, so we can have dinner together.
Ross: Come on you guys, we're sorry, alri...? Our subway broke down.
Ross: (to Joey, who is wearing a blue, 3 foot hand) FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TAKE IT OFF!! (takes it off his hand and throws it on the floor)
Rachel: You guys, come on, it doesn't matter why we're late. We're all here now, please let us in so we can have some of your delicious turkey. (A slice of turkey on a piece of aluminum foil is slid under door)
Chandler: Please let me stay on this side of the door.
(Rachel finally manages to open the door, but the door chain is on.)
Joey: Come on you guys, we want you to know we're (His eye widen even more) very very sorry. (Monica and Chandler are now covering their eyes with their hands) (then to the others in the hall) Right guys?
Phoebe: Come on you guys, let's just do our own Thanksgiving.
(And he starts licking the grease which trickles down his face. Monica also squirts some on the other side of his face, and his tongue follows her movements.)
Chandler: (sarcastically) Oh, I left them on my bulldozer... I don't have tools!
Chandler: Okay, look, I'm gonna pull on the door and you guys push as hard as you can. Maybe we can get enough room to wiggle him out, okay? Okay, so PUSH!
Chandler: Come on guys, PUSH!
Joey: Yeah! Come on!
(The chain breaks loose from the wall, and because Joey was pushing with all his might, he propells into the kitchen, towards the table with all the food. This table has wheels underneath it, and when Joey falls on this table, he rides into the living room, with all the food falling off, until finally Joey also falls off... Joey gets up quickly, a bit agitated, and acting as nothing happened. He is covered in food stains.)
Chandler: What's going on?
(They all cheer and Rachel, Ross and Phoebe join in for a group hug. Joey also joins, but he stands back a bit, because he is all sticky of the food on him)
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. The table is set, and there's food on the tables again. They're all there, toasting.]
Phoebe: Oh, it's so romantic to send people off on their honeymoon.
Chandler: (gasps) All right look, y'know, this maybe tough but come on, this is Ross! I survived college with him!
Chandler: We are on our honeymoon.
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) We are at a rest stop on Route 27. Okay. (to Rachel) There is no Route 27. (listens) (to Rachel) Okay, either 93 or 76?
Ross: She was blonde? (he looks surprised for a while, but then gets a "gotcha" expression on his face... There's knocking at the door.) Just a sec.! Okay, okay. This one's name is Sandy. She's got a degree in early childhood education, uhm... she worked for her last family for three years.
Ross: Oh yeah it will! Come on, up! Up-up-up! Up! Yes! Here we go! Pivot! (They start up the stairs again. Chandler is between the couch and the wall now.) Pivot! Piv-ot! Piv-et!! Piv-ett!!! Piv-et!
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is setting a romantic dinner for Susan as there is a knock on the door.]
Ross: What? What? What?!! Well they should put that on the box!!!
Dr. Harad: They have the honor of being born on The Fonz's half-birthday.
Mr. Treeger: Anyway uh, Ill get moving on that new door.
Joey: Whoa! Hey! Whoa!! Hold up! Are you serious?! So like 3% of the time they dont even work?! Huh? They should put that on the box!
Ross: Come on, you-you cant tell me you actually believe that-that theres a woman inside that cat!
Monica: Oh no, you see were on our honeymoon. So umm, can you do your little thing and bump us up to first class?
Rachel: Ross, there is no pressure on you. Okay? I mean you can as involved as you want. (Ross nods.)
Monica: No, they were really cool. They were on their honeymoon too!
Phoebe: Come on in!
Rachel: That-that you came on to me?
Rachel: Yeah. Your teeth? Yes, I saw them from outside. (Sitting down on the couch.) You guys are never going to believe this. But, Phoebe made out with Ralph Lauren.
Ross: (forcing the door open) Come on, Rachel, come on! Talk to me! Please!!
Pete: Look, forget the check, okay. (rips up the check) I like you. I think youre great. Come on, what do you say?
Ross: I can show you, I have it on videotape! (Stunned silence) Its an expression.
Monica: (on phone) Uh sorry, wrong number. (Hangs up)
(Chandler and Monica both turn, take the rings from Ross and Rachel respectively, and place them on each others fingers.)
Chandler: Okay, a quick one. Come on hug it out. (Paul rushes over and hugs Chandler tightly.) Oh hey! There you go. (The hug continues.) Okay. (The hug continues.)
Ross: (on tape) You didnt do it?
Ross: (on tape) Hello! Can I get you anything?
Chandler: Did you do it on our invitations?!
Ross: (pause) Not on the ones we sent out.
Rachel: (on tape) Oh I wanted to.
Ross: (on tape) So we we both wanted to.
Rachel: (on tape) Oh yeah, sure.
Rachel: (on tape) Interesting.
Phoebe: Oh, you came on to Ross!
Ross: Aw come on, Mona Lisa?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is looking at the tape sitting on the counter as Ross enters.]
Woman: Sorry. We didnt hear you; were on our honeymoon.
Phoebe: (To Monica) I didnt see this on the menu.
Chandler: I had to! Okay, imagine you were married... and you found a tape of your wife in another guys' apartment... Wouldn't you need to know what was on it?
Rachel: WhHey, I just gave you peeing on a stick.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are there and Rachel is arranging a bouquet of flowers, pricks her finger on a thorn, throws the bouquet over her head, and those you who are quicker than some already know that Monica is the one who catches it.]
Monica: Awww, come onwaitstop it. Okay, to Monica.
Joey: I set her up with this actor on my show.
Phoebe: We're so stupid! Do you know what's going on in there? They're trying to take Joey!
(Theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it.)
Joey: Dude! What is going on?!
Rachel: Thank you. (She sets it on the floor and is about to stomp on it with her shoe when the rest of the gang jumps up and yells simultaneously.) What? (They all yell again.) You dont want to see this do you?
Monica: So I hide in the shower and the next thing you know theyre going at it right on the bathroom floor.
Joey: Maybe Monicas playing a joke on ya. Yknow? Getting her own husband a hooker, thats pretty funny.
EDDIE: Wha-, n-, no. I mean it's just a bunch of pretty people runnin' around on the beach, ya know.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, his massage client is on the table and Ross is reluctantly starting his massage. He spreads some lotion in his hands, and doesnt like it.]
Chandler: (happily) Im off the list. (Sits on the couch.)
(They both start speaking Italian to each other, and since I'm not Italian and don't understand one word, we'll move on to the English portion of the show. Not, that I'm English. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just that I'm not. Y'know I think I should shut-up now and move on. Anyhoo, she says something about Joey being fat I think based on this line.)
(They sit on some front steps.)
Joey: Check it out. (He turns around, pulls down his pants, and shows Phoebe that hes got panties on.) How much of a man am I?!
Ross: (on the phone) No-no-no, it's just a bit sudden. (Listens) No, it's great. Okay? I'm totally on board. I love you too, all righty. Bye. (Hangs up.)
Monica: Come on! I really need your help!
Ross: Huh, whats fish hooking... (Joey sticks his finger in Rosss mouth and pulls on his cheek, y'know like when you hook a fish.) (to Joey, sarcastic) Thanks man, that would have been really hard to describe. What is that taste?
(Theres a knock on the door.)
MR. GELLER: I may not know any of your flash dances but I'm no slouch on the dance floor.
(Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe start to pick through the lasagne as there's a knock on the door which Monica answers.)
(Theres a knock on the door.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are on the couch as Joey and Ross enter.]
Joey: (comes out holding the tape) Here's how I know you didn't watch the tape, ok? (puts it into the vcr) If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you would have some comments. Alright, now remember, I got paid a lot of money for this and it only aired in Japan. (presses play and he appears on the TV screen and a TV commercial begins)
Joey: Well I can promise you, at least one person will be crying. (Points to himself) Im an actor, and any actor worth himself can cry on cue. (snaps fingers)
Joey: Pheebs, you gotta stop this, I working on commission here.
Rachel: Oh really? So youre saying they just slid out of your bottom drawer, crawled across the floor, then jumped on to my desk?! (I think Dogbert should have a line here.)
Ross: Oh when you beeped me I was on line at the concession stand at the movie theater.
The Museum Official: (on machine) Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. Im calling for Monica Geller.
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Chandler: That means nothing to me. (To Ross) Come on!
Marc: I am so sorry. The doctor insisted on closing the curtain for the exam.
(He starts to exit, but Chandler tries to stop him by climbing on his back and grabbing hold of the foosball table.)
Joey: I mean come on you guys! My own TV show? I just dont know if Im good enough.
JOEY: Maybe he, uhh... drives his car on the other side of the road, if ya know what I mean.
Ross: Come on, who are we kidding? Im doody. Please? Shes watchin.
[Scene: An airport in London, Ross is waiting for Emily to show up to go on their honeymoon and sees Rachel walking past.]
Referee: Here we go gentlemen, here we go! (to Tank Abbott) Are you ready? (He nods, and takes out his teeth) (to Pete) Are you ready? (Pete nods, Yes.) Lets get it on!!
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, shes pacing as Ross knocks on her door and opens it a little to stick his hands in.]
Monica: So, you think you'll do it on his couch?
Joey: Huh, Rach I got to say its gonna take a lot of money for me to go out on a date with a dude.
Ross: Know whatIf somebody doesnt tell me whats going on right now
Monica: What about your breath?! (Breathes on him.)
Phoebe: No, I know what a silent is I meant, whats going on with your hair?
Phoebe: Yeah. Youre just gonna knock on his door and change his life forever. Youre like Ed McMahon except without the big check, or the raw sexual magnetism.
Brenda: Whats going on?!
[Cut to later in that episode. Chandler is in his bathroom with Monica, and hes panicking on how far Phoebe is pushing him.]
Joey: (Looking up at the waiter)Thats not food...No, I dont, no...(Taps Chandler on the shoulder.) Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I cant even remember what Phoebe looks like.
[Scene: At a writer's desk. The writer is working on a script for Days of Our Lives.]
[Scene: Joeys sisters house, Chandler hits himself on the head three times and knocks on the door three times. Joey answers it.]
Monica: Yeah-yeah, yknow what? Yeah, thats it-thats it, everything will be mine! Nothing will be yours! Thats-thats what I said! Oh come on, Chandler! Im talking about the barca lounger! It just, it doesnt match! Where is it gonna go?!
Joey: Okay, the next situation is for Rachel. The wedding is about to start you walk into the back room and you find Monica taking a nap with Ross. (Ross lies on the floor.) Ill be Monica. Go! (He jumps down and cuddles up with Ross.)
Phoebe: Hey! (Jumps on the bed with him.) Can we pick up where we left off?
Emily: Well, you have to understand how humiliating it was for me up on that altar in front of my entire family, all my friends.
Ross: and thats the story of the dreidle. Now, some people trace the Christmas tree back to the Egyptians, who used to bring green palm branches into their huts on the shortest day of the year, symbolising lifes triumph over death. And that was like 4000 years ago.
Brenda: I think I know whats going on here.
[Ross and Judy enter the living room. Judy and Ross sit down on the couch beside Jack. Monica and Chandler are sitting on the coffee table.]
Monica: Oh my God! Joey, what did you do after you threw her leg on the fire?
Rachel: (looking through her wallet.) Ohh, I just dont think I have enough left on my credit card.
(Monica gets down on one knee.)
Ben: Cause you guys were on a break.