words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Chandler enter, the others are sitting on the couch.]
Chandler: Well, it's just with uhm, work and the stress of adoption, we just don't feel like we have the energy. Plus, we don't think it's fair that every year the burden falls on us.
Monica: You guys, I ordered some chocolate pies from that bakery on Bleecker. Could you pick them up for me?
Rachel: Where am I gonna get a cowgirl outfit on Thanksgiving?
Monica: Okay, I'm gonna go check on something across the hall. You start by washing these (she gives Chandler a bowl with cranberries. Then, while she's going outside, she sees him with a bottle of soap in his hands) Not with soap!! (she leaves)
Rachel: Phoebe, I think... It's just too weird, I just saw a one year old running around with pantyhose on!
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe! Come on! You know what, it's already three o'clock and they haven't even gotten to Emma's group yet. We gotta go, we got dinner!
Rachel: No Phoebe, I am not letting you put makeup on my baby!
Joey: Yeah. I am sorry he's not here too, but I got to say, (takes some nachos from a plate on the seat where Chandler should have been) I am really enjoying Nacho Chair.
Ross: I know, I know! When I was here for Holidays on Ice (Joey looks around worried hoping no one heard that) I was sitting so far away Michelle Kwan couldn't read my banner!
Joey: Okay. Rachel and Phoebe are already there, okay? So they probably started without us. We could just slip in and no-one needs to know where we were! (he raises his hands and on his right one there's a Rangers foam finger)
Joey: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You just want to put it on your hand!
Joey: We figured we could be late because you guys were gonna be on time (he points the foam finger at the girls)
Phoebe: And it looks like she put makeup on her!
Joey: All right. Hey Rach, while you're in there, throw something on Alicia Mae.
Chandler: (peeping) Everything is so distorted! Looks like Joey has a giant hand! Which says "Rangers" on it. They went to the game!
Phoebe: We're just... we're trying to figure out an excuse. Hey! Ooh! How about this: We can say that Monica told us 5 o'clock, not 4 o'clock. That way we're right on time! (Others start to agree but she continues) OR... or, we can plant PCP in the apartment and call the cops on her.
Rachel: You know what, we just say that she said it was 5 o'clock. We'll just act casual. We're not late, we're right on time. (When she finishes talking, a note is pushed from under Monica's and Chandler's door, into the hall. Ross picks it up and reads it out loud)
Phoebe: Well, I'm not going in first. I bet that vein on Monica's forehead is popping like crazy.
Rachel: Alright, enough, enough, come on. Let's just all go in at the same time.
Ross: Wha...? Oh sure, now they lock it, but when they're having sex on the couch, its like: "Come on in, my butt is surprisingly hairy".
Rachel: Alright, come on... (starts to knock on the door) Alright, you guys. We're so sorry we're late. Please let us in, so we can have dinner together.
Ross: Come on you guys, we're sorry, alri...? Our subway broke down.
Ross: (to Joey, who is wearing a blue, 3 foot hand) FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TAKE IT OFF!! (takes it off his hand and throws it on the floor)
Rachel: You guys, come on, it doesn't matter why we're late. We're all here now, please let us in so we can have some of your delicious turkey. (A slice of turkey on a piece of aluminum foil is slid under door)
Chandler: Please let me stay on this side of the door.
(Rachel finally manages to open the door, but the door chain is on.)
Joey: Come on you guys, we want you to know we're (His eye widen even more) very very sorry. (Monica and Chandler are now covering their eyes with their hands) (then to the others in the hall) Right guys?
Phoebe: Come on you guys, let's just do our own Thanksgiving.
(And he starts licking the grease which trickles down his face. Monica also squirts some on the other side of his face, and his tongue follows her movements.)
Chandler: (sarcastically) Oh, I left them on my bulldozer... I don't have tools!
Chandler: Okay, look, I'm gonna pull on the door and you guys push as hard as you can. Maybe we can get enough room to wiggle him out, okay? Okay, so PUSH!
Chandler: Come on guys, PUSH!
Joey: Yeah! Come on!
(The chain breaks loose from the wall, and because Joey was pushing with all his might, he propells into the kitchen, towards the table with all the food. This table has wheels underneath it, and when Joey falls on this table, he rides into the living room, with all the food falling off, until finally Joey also falls off... Joey gets up quickly, a bit agitated, and acting as nothing happened. He is covered in food stains.)
Chandler: What's going on?
(They all cheer and Rachel, Ross and Phoebe join in for a group hug. Joey also joins, but he stands back a bit, because he is all sticky of the food on him)
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. The table is set, and there's food on the tables again. They're all there, toasting.]
Joey: Whoa! Is this porn? What did I do? I mustve hit something on the remote.
Joey: Come on you guys, come on please-please just give her another chance, huh? Shell come around I promise.
Monica: YES! (Chandler gets an "oh no!" look on his face)
[Cut to Rosss second wedding reception, Joey has just told him the band is ready with Rachel looking on.]
Chandler: I dont know. (He picks the chick up and turns it over, trying to determine the sex of the chick, and blows on it.) I cant tell, what ever it was went back in too quickly.
Ross: And that's why, no matter what mommy says, we really were on a break. (baby talk) Yes we were! Yes we were! (picks Emma up) Come here gorgeous. (puts her on his knees and talks to her) Oh! Look at you! You are the cutest little baby ever! You're just a... a little bitty baby, you know that? But you've got... (in a softer voice) You've got big beautiful eyes... Yes you do... and a... and a big round belly. (emphasises the B's) Big baby butt! I like big butts. (raps) I like big butts and I cannot lie / you other brothers can't deny / when a girl walks in with an itty, bitty, waist / and a round thing in your face you get...(Emma laughs) Oh my God, Emma... you're laughing! Oh my God, you've never done that before, have you? You never done that before... Daddy made you laugh, huh? Well, daddy and Sir Mix Alot... What? What? You... you wanna hear some more? Uhm...(raps) My anaconda don't want none / unless you got buns hon... (Emma laughs again and Ross looks worried) I'm a terrible father!
Man: Oh, let me guess some idiot on a cell phone wasnt paying attention?
LITTLE BULLY: Look, here's what we'll do. We'll put all keys and watches in the hat over there. Alright. [they all put their keys and watches in the hat and put it on a mail box] Alright, c'mon man, let's do this.
Rachel: No-no! Big bear! Big bear outside! I think I-Iwould youactually, would you go check on that?
Rachel: Oh (happy) oh no just stopped to throw up a little bit. (Emma starts crying again.) Oh come on, what am I gonna do, its been hours and it wont stop crying.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is on the phone, Rachel and Monica are sitting in the kitchen.]
(Monica closes the door, Chandler knocks, and Monica opens it to reveal Chandler on his knees.)
Chandler: Oh come on man! At least let me finish this last one.
Joey: Okay, what if the puppy said, "Help me Chandler. All the other puppies pick on me."
(There is a knock on the door, Phoebe answers it, its Mr. Heckles)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the girls are still out on the balcony.]
Chandler: (answering phone) Hello. Hi, Janice! Can you hold on for a second? Okay. (to Monica and Rachel) Okay, what do I do?
Monica: (thinks about it) All right, but if-if he lights someone else on fire he is out of there!
Monica: Y'know what? Y'know when I said that I want you to deal with this relationship stuff all on your own? Well, you're not ready for that.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey is on the phone and Phoebe is watching him.]
Joey: Come on who? Who do you like? Tell me. You're not getting away that easy. Who do you like, who?
Monica: Come on! (The girls all run out and Joey holds up Chandler by smiling.)
Phoebe: Yeah! Sure! Yep! (Gets up) Oh, y'know what? If I heard a shot right now, I'd throw my body on you.
Ross: I can't believe Rachel just moved on and didn't say anything to me
Chandler: (laughs, but then moves to Phoebe) And don't get me started on the way that people from Tulsa talk.
Joey: Come on! Admit it! That was the best nap you ever had!
Chandler: All right, we havent had sex yet. Okay, whats the big deal? Yknow? This is special, and I want our love to grow until we move on to the next level.
Phoebe: (singing, drunk) My sticky shoes, my sticky-sticky shoes, why do you stick on me, ba-a-by! Thanks for the lights honey.
Chandler: Oh come on you big faker!
Ross: Hey! Hey! Come on! You can! I know you can do this! Lets go!
Charlie: (to Rachel) So, you know what, I really like those jackets with the shoulder pads on them. Where do you think those would be?
Joey: (on phone) Yeah, is Sidney there? (Listens) Oh, this is? (To the gang) Sidney's a woman.
Ross: Yes, that's what I have. It's not on the board.
(He kisses her on the cheek and heads to Central Perk.)
Chandler: Why dont you go up on stage. Ill get a picture of you doing the speech.
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment: Phoebe, Monica and Mike sitting on the couch]
Tag: A year. On and off. I kinda thought we'd end up together. I don't anymore.
Jill: (on phone) I'm fine. No, I'm not alone... I don't know, some guy.
Rachel: I'm not gonna tell you, but if you found out on your own, that would be okay and then we could talk about it. Right?
Monica: You-you gotta take it now. Come on, do it as a present to me.
Joey: Thanks. (The grip walks away.) (Reading the card.) Congratulations on your big break.
Ross: That was just the pants on the couch. Umm, hey, do you, do you mind if I use your bathroom?
Joey: Ha-ha. LookCome on, I dont know what to do or say. (He laughs.)
Ross: Yeah, which, which we have to leave for in exactly twelve minutes. All right, come on, I'll just pick something out for you.
Chandler: Ok, on your mark... Get set... GO!!!
[Scene: The lobby of Ross's building, he's sitting on the couch at the bottom of the stairs, and he's practicing enticing women to join him on the couch.]
Conan: I-I heard some of you guys talking about this earlier, but sometimes theres just a word that someone has to say that youll get hung up on. And itll justthe way you say the word is funny to everybody else.
Phoebe: Ugh, okay, I have an enormous crush on you. But because youre a client, I cant ask you out, even though you give me yknow, the feeling.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and the gang is watching Sumo wrestling on TV.]
Joey: Oh Monica, listen, I ah, I saw down at the hardware store, they got those designer tiles on sale. If you ever want to redo the bathroom floor.
[Cut back to Monica and Chandlers room, they are making out again as theres another knock on the door.]
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
Gary: Wait! Hold on! (He goes over to Phoebe and gives her a kiss.) (To Phoebe) Hi!
Joey: After she gave me that big speech?! She goes and makes a date with a guy on the same night she has plans with me? I think shes trying to pull a fast one on Big Daddy!
Ross: That's different, okay. That's like, uh 'Who dated a stripper?' or 'Who did it on the back of the Staton Island Ferry?'.
Monica: No, you were right. I don't have a plan. (There's a knock on the door.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is on the couch as Monica enters.]
[Time lapse. The girls have Ross pinned face down. Phoebe is sitting on his back and arms while holding his head down and facing Rachel. Rachel is sitting on his knees and holding his lower legs vertically, causing Ross pain.]
MONICA: Exactly. Oh, I love that I can be totally neurotic around you now. Tell me the truth. Don't you like it better now that everything on your desk is perpendicular?
Ross: (sounds excited) Hi you guys! what's going on, you... you guys wanna hang out...or...? (Looks around the room nervously) do you...do you guys hear a buzzing?
(Monica holds her hands out for a hug, but instead of hugging her, Amanda hangs her purse on one of Monica's extended arms.)
(Rachel backs out with a confused look on her face.)
Ross: Nothing, ah there was this thing at the museum. Come on. (they go into her apartment) Easy.
Joey: Is it on me? I feel, I feel like it's on me! I got, hey! (He storms into his room)
SUSIE: Um, so listen, how many times am I gonna have to touch you on the arm before you ask me on a date.
Joey: Now you cant tell anyone, but uh I put on shiny lip balm.
Phoebe: Oh, and great! You might as well bring me my book, its on the counter in your apartment.
Chandler: I'd keep an eye on him! We have to find out which one the father is.
Monica: Please. Half the guys out there have makeup on.
Rachel: Okay. Honey, I would love for you to go with me. (Ross has a worried look on his face) What?
Joey: Oh thats right. Theres a lot going on here and I think I ate some bad fruit earlier.
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. There's a knock on the door, and Phoebe opens it.]
Phoebe: Give her a break, it's hard being on your own for the first time.
Joey: Listen uh, could you put Kathy on, I wanna apologize.
Rachel: I dont know. Do-do you have any clothes on?
Monica: (entering from her bedroom) Okay, sperm donor number 03815, come on down! Okay, he's 6'2", 170 pounds, and he describes himself as a male Geena Davis.
Chandler: Oh come on Ross, I think were all losers here.
Phoebe: I cant believe this! How long as this been going on?
Monica: Come on! Tests make us all better learners! Oh yeah! (Running out) We should have essay questions!!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still sick and is hobbling out into the living room for some help from Chandler whos on the couch reading.]
[Scene: The delivery room, later on, Rachel, Chandler, Monica, and Frank are there as Dr. Harad is checking out Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Okay fine! Fine! Well just have to think of some other way to put the whole Who came onto who, thing to rest! Come on now, think!!
Joey: A handsome man enters. (Playing the part of the handsome man.) Hey! How's it going guys? I don't know what you two were talking about, but I'd like to say thanks to both of you. You, (Ross) you wouldn't let me give up on myself, and you (Chandler) well you co-created Fireball. The end.
(There's a knock on the door and it's Paul.)
Ross: Thats right! Thats right! Saran Wrap on the toilet seat so the pee goes everywhere!
Ross: Come on! Come on! Here, okay-okay, you see this? (Points) This tiny thing that looks like a peanut?
MR. GREENE: What? The father can't drop by to see the daughter on her birthday?
Gavin: Exactly how contagious is this thing you have? I mean is it a cold for standing on the balcony or did a monkey bite you?
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Y'know what? I have been trying to apologize to him all week! If he's not gonna let me do it on the phone, I'm gonna go down there and do it in person.
Monica: (To Phoebe) Oh my God, my ass is sweating! (on phone) Please! Please! Can you come? Its today at four.
Mr. Geller: Kids, I spoke to a doctor and picked up this pamphlets on how to get pregnant. (He slides them under the door.)
(Joey and Ross enter. Phoebe and Mike are sitting on the couch, reading a magazine.)
Monica: Okay, just stay there a couple more hours and if she doesnt show up by then, then just come on home.
Sandy: I er... I hope you don't mind. I used some of my home-made lotion on Emma. It's a mixture of calendula and honey cream. It'll dry that rash right up. Plus... It keeps the hands young... (it makes Rachel smile)
Monica: All right baby, come on! (Rolls the dice) Yes! Yes! I am on fire!
Rachel: Well, I-I-Ive been on Standby for a flight home for hours.
Joey: We broke down on the Parkway, so I have to walk back and get some transmission fluid. And hey, listen could you please tell Kathy that Ill be there as soon as I can.
Ross: (on tape) I mean I I know I wanted to. I just, I just wasnt sure if you wanted to.
[Scene: Rosss Bedroom, Ross is waking up. He straightens himself out on the bed and puts the covers over his head.]
Fake Monica: So once they caught on to the fact that we're, y'know, short and have breasts...