words in movies
RACHEL: Ok, Chandler, Mon, there's only one bananna nut muffin left.
JOEY: Oh yeah yeah. I process. People want the processing, I'm the one they call.
JOEY: Uhh, well, right now I'm in between things. You know how it is. One day you're processing, the next day you're not so much... processing any more.
RYAN: If I had one wish, it would be to build a time machine, go back to when I was 7, when Jimmy Hauser had the chicken pox. I would grab that kid and rub him all over my face.
JOEY: Pretty good. It's like you said. It's mostly just putting numbers from one column into another column.
MONICA: Alright, well tell me one of yours.
RICHARD: Ok. Ahh. One of my things is, I always separate my sweat socks from my dress socks.
[Scene: Chandler's office. Chandler is asleep in his chair holding a paper in one hand and a pen in the other. Joey walks in, waking up Chandler who covers by pretending to write on the paper.]
[They keep kissing and start scratching each other. Ross enters, takes one look, and goes right back out the door.]
RACHEL: Well do you get to look through one of those like, those periscope thingys.
RACHEL: So do you uh, think we can get you one of those uh, uniform things?
Monica: Well. Sounds like you're writing yourself a little play there Rach. Wow! Let me know how that one turns out.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next day, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are baby-sitting the triplets. They each have one baby.]
Monica: Which one was Pete Carney?
Chandler: Y'know, I wouldve bet good money that hed be the first one of us to get married.
Monica: In one year?! My God what did she eat? Her-her family! Thats not the point.
Chandler: So in your whole life, you've only been with one(He gets a look too)oh.
Rachel: It was like months ago. We were walking by this antique store, and I saw this pin in the window, and I told him it was just like one my grandmother had when I was a little girl. Oh! I can't believe he remembered!
Chandler: All right, look, youre not really gonna buy that are you? Dont you think youve embarrassed me enough for one day?
Chandler: (entering from the bedroom) Okay. Heres a question you never have to ask. My dad just called and wanted to know if he could borrow one of your pearl necklaces.
Joey: Oh, it was great! I mean we walked all around the village. We went to this ice cream place, split a milkshake, 70/30 but still And guess what, Im thinking about taking her upstate to one of those bed and breakfasts.
Phoebe: Okay. Then, take the tiara back and let me hold the musket again. (He hands it to her and Phoebe poses in front of one of those small mirrors.) Somethings missing. Its not Okay oh, let me see the ring my friend picked out.
Passenger: If youre planning on doing that throughout the entire flight. Please tell me now. So that I could that a sedative...or perhaps slip you one.
Rachel: Phoebe, we cant, we just cant just let it happen! Okay, we have to do something! We have to break them up! Okay? Just go in there and like, shave her head! You owe me one bald girl!!
Frank Jr.: Oh, no, no. Not Leslie. No, she's, she's the only one that knows how to burp the alphabet.
RICHARD: Yeah, just, I feel like I'm about a hundred. I thought I was just one of the guys.
Monica: (to Rachel) Hey! Joey said no autographs! But if she's gettting one, then I want one too: To Monica. And none of this "best wishes" crap. I want "love".
Joey: Okay well that may be true. But, in-in okay, Air Force One the Russians were terrorists! And evil! And plus he kills a bunch of them! That-that-thats offensive to Russians.
Phoebe: Well, if I'm going down, I'm taking you (Points at all of them) with me. (They all look at her.) Harboring a fugitive? That's one to three years minimum. Good luck Chandler. (She opens the door to the cop from before.) Okay, you can arrest me. Fine. But you'll never make it stick and you know it!
(We see Ross through the window and he acts like a swimmer that gets attacked by a shark, picture one of the many, many, many Jaws movies they made and you get the idea.)
Chandler: Okay, I went over to Ross' apartment to bring back Clunkers. Yknow, for you, and (Clears his throat) I left the door open and she must have gotten out and I looked everywhere, all over the apartment, including the roof, which FYI Ross, one of your neighbors, growing weed. I couldn't find him, and I am so, so, so, sorry. But I do know where we could all go ease the pain. (Points up and then over to the street)
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side, they move it back, and then they do the rear. (Chandler and Ross stare at him) What? Ross, Ross, would you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants?
Rachel: No, I know, I know, and I'm sure your little boy is not going to grow up to be one.
Ross: I know. I know. I mean, one day, he's this little thing, and before you know it, he's this little thing I can't get off my leg.
Joey: Uh, waiter, one more plate of chicken wings over here.
Rachel: (hands him one) Here you go.
Monica: No fair. I don't even have one. How come they get two?
Monica: I know. But umm, one time there was this really dirty car in front of the building, so I washed it.
Phoebe: Which one?
Phoebe: No, which one? The right or left? 'Cause the left one is lucky...
[The next one is from Episode 224: The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding, Joey has to kiss a guy in an audition and has been trying to find one to practice with.]
Ross: Uh-uhWow! Uh, I thought you guys were just like making jokes, I had no idea. What you know what? You guys are wrong. Uh yes, there is a chronological age difference but I never notice it. You know why? Because she is very mature. Besides, it doesnt really matter to me what you guys think. I mean, Im the one dating Elizabeth, not you!
Rachel: Oh, I dont know. Well maybe its just the idea of Barry for the rest of my life. I dont know I think I feel like I need to have one last fling, y'know, just to sorta get it out of my system. (Chandler is listening in very intensely)
Rachel: Oh thank you! (Wiping her nose.) Oh God! (She throws it out.) Can I have another one?
Rachel: Well, youve been here for two months now and your boss is required to hand in a performance evaluation. But yknow, there is one thing that I have yet to evaluate. (She turns around and sweeps the stuff off of her desk and hops up onto it.)
JOEY: Yes, I'm afraid it is. You deserve much better than me Erica. You deserve to be with the real Drake, he's the one you fell in love with. Go to Salem, find him, he's the guy for you.
Phoebe: Ooh, ok, that's it. Enough with the keys. No one say keys.
[The next one is from Episode 603: The One With Rosss Denial, Joey is amazing Phoebe and Monica by holding his breath.]
Joey: (to Rachel) Bub!!! (Points at her and quiets Rachel.) (To Dina) I cant believe this! Youre the good one! You went to college! Both years! Who did this to you?!
DUNCAN: Well, I've never told you this but, there were one or two times, back in college, when I'd get really drunk, go to a straight bar and wake up with a woman next to me. But I, I, I told myself it was the liquor and e-everyone experiments in college.
Chandler: Uh-huh! Join me, won't you?! Okay, what do you say we keep one, and then just like have an option on the other one?
[This starts a series of flashbacks starting with Monica and Chandler forcing Joey to keep his new found knowledge of their secret relationship in Monicas bedroom in The One With All the Kips.]
Rachel: Which one do you think she is?
Emily: One swift kick and hell back off.
Phoebe: I don't know, you might be the first one.
Chandler: I don't know. I can't--I just, I can't get her out of my head. Y'know? I mean, I'm a very bad person. I'm a very, very bad person. I'm a horrible person. (he waits for a reaction, when he doesn't get one) No you're not Chandler! We still love you Chandler!
Phoebe: How - how do I get them to name the next one after me?
Phoebe: Yeah, I really liked that fighter pilot one.
Joey: Yeah-yeah, Im one of the cops that wont work with you cause you a lose cannon. Anyway, look, Im really sorry, but I stink!
Chandler: You'll get one.
Ross: (answering it) 1987, the day after Christmas, at Sean McMahons party. I played you one of my songs, yknow Interplanetary Courtship Ritual.
Monica: This is it. Yeah, this is the one. I cant believe I found it!
JOEY: Ya know, one of these times you're gonna really be naked and we're not gonna come over.
Rachel: Yeah-yeah, yknow if-if there was just like one little area where Ithat I think we needwe would need to work on; I-I would think it was were just not crazy enough!
Chandler: Yeah, Im gonna stick with the ring. (Goes to another display counter.) Oh, this ones nice! (Pointing to another ring.) I like this one! Sir? Uh, kind sir? Can I see this one?
Chandler: Well, y'know two regulars. And ah one that barely qualifies as... (starts to kiss her again, but she gets up.) Ahh, what?
Monica: I just tell her, I have to get it over with. I told Ross and Phoebe and shes the only one left!
Monica: I sure do! (She runs over to a drawer, opens it, and grabs a lollipop.) (To Rachel) And you don't get one!
Phoebe: Jeez, you say one thing, and...
[Scene: The Banquet Room, Chandler is under one of the tables as Ross enters.]
JOEY: I can't believe it's Christmas already. Ya know, I mean, one day your eatin' turkey, the next thing ya know, your lords are a-leapin' and you geese are a-layin'.
Monica: Hey Phoebe. Hey, tell me what you think. All right. The house next door to the one that we're buying in Westchester? Just went on the market. I wanna take a look at it, but Chandler doesn't.
Ross: Still, I can't believe that's sprayed on... I mean, it looks really good. I wonder if I should get one!
Phoebe: Why dont take care of this one, and should I get pregnant again, Ill hold onto your card, okay?
Chandler: Maybe. Unless they're like two people who have lived in apartments next to each other for years, and then one day they're pushed through a vagina and they meet.
Chandler, Phoebe, and Rachel: I had one.
Rachel: Okay, okay, I checked. We have: Earl Grey, English Breakfast, Cinnamon Stick, Camomile, Mint Medley, Blackberry, and.. oh, wait, there's one more, um.. Lemon Soother. You're not the guy that asked for the tea, are you? (Guy shakes his head) Okay.
Chandler: Well, you owe me one, big guy.
Ross: Yeah, ooh yeah, I think there is one from batch 17 left, uh (Grabs a cookie and takes a big bite out of it and doesnt like it.) Its batch 16! 16 people! Get out of the way! (Gets up and runs for the bathroom.)
[Scene: Chandler's job, Chandler is typing data into his computer, he keeps typing even while taking a drink of coffee with one hand. One of his co-workers walks by.]
Chandler: What about that circled one?
Joey: You know what I want? I want a lot of things! I want to be with the woman I love on Valentines Day! And I want her to love me back! And I want just one moment of relief from the gut-wrenching pain of knowing that thats never going to happen!
Julie: Oh, you're busy, that's ok, I'll get it. Anybody else want one?
Rachel: All right, fine. Um, you were not the only one there. (Camera fades to Ross, who's listening very carefully) Joey was there too.
Phoebe: No thanks, Ive already seen one.
(He throws his piece back in the box, runs into the living room, looks for a place to hide the pizza, finds one, slides the box under the couch, sits down on the table, and tries to quickly chew the food in his mouth.)
Chandler: You know who else picked Rachel? Ross, and you know what else Ross did? He stole my joke. You know what? Im going to get a joke journal. Yknow? And document the date and time of every single one of my jokes.
PHOEBE: You name one woman that you broke up with for a real reason.
Chandler: Yeah, I thought so to until I paper mached one of my eyes shut.
Russell: Ross, I have been a divorce attorney for 23 years and never had I so much business from one client. Why dont you tell me what happened.
Joey: I am so-so-so sorry. I was gonna do it! Really! But I was standing there with 327 dollars in one hand and 238 dollars in the other hand, and I was thinking, "Wow! Its been a long time since I had (tries to do the math in his head, but cant) 327 + 238 dollars!"
Mr. Geller: What?! Ive never seen one before!
Rachel: No? Yknow, I can tie one of these into a knot using just my tongue.
Aunt Lillian: You know, whatever we pick, she would've told us it's the wrong one.
Rachel: Okay, okay, okay, I got one! (She sits up and the cushion she was leaning against falls off of the balcony.) Anyway- The valentine Tommy Rollerson left in your locker was really from me.
MR. BOYLE: All right, there was none. Let's talk signing. You be noisy girl number one, you be noisy girl number two.
Rachel: Hey, come on! I had this friend from college and I made the stupid mistake of telling Joey that one time she and I yknow kissed a little bit.
Phoebe: Earl, youre not hearing me! All Im saying is that youre not alone all right? Everybody hates the people they work with! (One of her coworkers overhears that, and she mimes that she didnt mean him.)
Phoebe: Well, I think my mother was too busy planning her suicide to provide saltwater treats. (Ross hands her one) Thank you! So what, youre just never going to tell her?
[Scene: The Hallway, Joey has a tray full of keys, and is trying each one in the lock.]
ROSS: Well maybe, you know, maybe we should stay for one song.
PHOEBE: Ok. One.
Lady: Well, we already have one offer on it, and I think the lady upstairs is goning to make another one.
Rachel: Okay, Phoebe, honey, you gotta be kidding. I mean, you know you cannot keep one of these babies!
Ross: Yeah, but it didnt fit. Well, luckily theres a store here that has one left in her size, but Im the groom, Im not supposed to see the dress
Joey: You know more than one Fun Bobby?
Chandler: Ohh, thats a good one.
Joey: Are we talking about one of those big boats that carry cars that go like five miles an hour?
Frank: Well, you see, the-the thing is, we-we only got, we kinda have one shot to make it right.
[This starts a series of flashbacks; the first one is from Episode 106: The One With The Butt, Joey is in a play called Freud!.]
Phoebe: That was supposed to be a good thing, I forget why. Just listen, Monica, I, do you know, okay, do you know, I couldnt sleep for like a month because I got like a dot of ink on one of the sofa cushions.