words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Frank and Alice are there talking with Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Oh my God! I cant believe my little brother is married!
Phoebe: You guys, why didnt you tell me you were eloping?
Phoebe: Wait, wait, why were you at the courthouse?
Phoebe: Wow, a year and a half ago I didnt even know I had a brother, and now I have a sister too. (They all hug, and Frank and Alice start kissing.) Okay. Okay. Stop it, dont. So, I gotta get you a gift now. Is there anything you need?
Phoebe: (shocked) Thats a really nice gift. I was thinking of like a gravy boat.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!!
Phoebe: Guess what. Frank Jr., and Alice got married!
Phoebe: And! And, theyre gonna have a baby! (The gang is shocked.) And! And, they want me to grow it for them in my uterus. (The gang is stunned into silence.)
Phoebe: Yeah
Phoebe: Ewww! And "Oh no!" Itsthey just want me to be the surrogate. Its her-its her egg and her sperm, and Im-Im just the oven, its totally their bun.
Phoebe: Well, they said that I had to think about it first, but what is there to think about? Im gonna be giving them the greatest gift you can possibly give.
Phoebe: I know!
Phoebe: Yeah, whats your point?
Phoebe: Y'know you guys were a lot more supportive when I wanted to make denim furniture.
Phoebe: My mom never gave birth. Oh! But my birth mom did.
[Scene: Phoebe Sr.s house, theres a knock on the door.]
Phoebe Sr: Its open! Come in!
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe Sr: Hi!
Phoebe: Im sorry, Im late.
Phoebe Sr: Oh, thats okay, it gave me time to finish glazing my nipples.
Phoebe: Wow! You really go all out when youre expecting company.
Phoebe Sr: No, I was working on my pottery.
Phoebe: Oh! Ooh! Oh, I didnt know that you did pot.
Phoebe Sr: Well, yeah, mostly nudes. It combines my two passions, pottery and erotica.
Phoebe: Ooh, erotiery!
Phoebe Sr: Hey! Okay! Well thanks for coming out to see me. I just-I just thought it would be a very good idea to talk about this baby stuff in person. Yknow
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe Sr: I really dont think its a very good idea, Phoebe.
Phoebe: Why not?
Phoebe Sr: Well, because youd be giving up a baby, and I-I really dontI dont know if theres anything I can say that could make you understand the pain of giving up a baby. So, umm, (Picks up a puppy in the box next to the couch.)
Phoebe: Oh no! No-no! I understand the pain! Dont-dont hurt the puppy.
Phoebe Sr: No-no-no, the-the puppys yours.
Phoebe: Oh, I get a puppy!!
Phoebe Sr: Well, yeah! I mean yeah, but only for three days.
Phoebe: Why?
Phoebe Sr: I realise I dont have any right to start get all parenty on you and everything now, but umm, (Sees that Phoebe isnt paying attention and is busy mimicking the puppy.) uhh Phoebe, would you please look at me and not the puppy, its very important.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe Sr: I mean, I know what Im talking about. I gave up two babies, and I only wish I had someone there that had given up babies, that could tell me how terrible it is to give up babies. I just think that, it would be something you will regret every single day for the rest of your life. So, how ever hard it is to give up this puppy, it would be like a million times harder to give up a child. (Phoebe is playing with the puppy again, and not listening) I really shouldnt have given you the puppy first.
Phoebe: All right, Im sorry.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe is there with her puppy and is trying to sing it to sleep as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Why is Phoebe singing to Carl Mulden?
Phoebe: Ooh, yknow what, I think its time for puppy to go out again. Come on, lets go to the balcony.
Phoebe: Umm, the street. Come on, lets go to the street. Ooh, listen, dont go onto the balcony until after I get back. (Leaves)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, with the puppy, Monica, and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Phoebe: My moms gonna be here any minute. I cant do this, I cant give him up. Yesno, I can. I dont want to. But I can. No.
Phoebe: Ooh, I cant do this. My mom was right. If I cant-if I cant give him up, then theres no way I can give up a baby. Ohh, God, Frank and Alice are gonna be so crushed. What-what else, what else can I give ema kidney!
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Oh! Ooh! Umm!
Phoebe: Hey, why dont you?
Phoebe: Uh-huh, yeah!
Phoebe: No, Im really okay with this. Yknow why? Cause look at them, and I made that, so I know its gonna be like a million times harder to give up a baby but, oh my God, its gonna feel like a million times better, right? I wanna do this. (To Frank and Alice) I wanna carry your baby.
Phoebe Sr: (entering) Hi! Whats going on?
Phoebe: Oh, I-I gave them the puppy and it made them so happy that I decided Im gonna carry their baby.
Phoebe Sr: But Phoebe
Phoebe: No-no-no, I know, but you and I are different people though, and this is a totally different situation, and I know that I am not gonna regret this.
Phoebe Sr: Oh, I-I-I understand all that, but its justthat was my puppy.
Phoebe: Oh!
Phoebe: So! Ross doesnt really decorate his tree with floss, but you dont hear him complaining do you? God! (Phoebe hits her guitar which wakes up Ross with a start.)
Phoebe: (to Mike) Ok Mike, better come back Mike, better come back.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next day, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are baby-sitting the triplets. They each have one baby.]
[Cut to later in that episode. Monica and Chandler are confronting Joey in his apartment about Phoebes knowledge.]
Phoebe: Mike wins?
Phoebe: You can't do that!
Phoebe: It's like watching porn!
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe is getting out linens for Cassie who is in the bathroom.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Is that Ross?
Phoebe: And maybe I could teach Ben about the Christmas skull and how people die.
[Cut to Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are sitting up by the window because two guys have their couch.]
Phoebe: Sounds like he's with someone.
Phoebe: Get over here!
Phoebe: (whispering) Rachel and Joey! It's Rachel and Joey!!!
(they start to kiss again, and Phoebe turns to Chandler and Monica)
Phoebe: They are awfully boxy...
Monica: (also hugs the wall) Yeah, we had a great time, thank you! (walks to Phoebe)
Phoebe: That's the door. He's gone...
Phoebe: Okay, I'm gonna go too. I'm gonna go to the airport. I figure if I hang around there long enough, someone's bound to leave one of those planes unattended.
Phoebe: Shhh... This is the listening side of the wall.
Phoebe: Oh, hi Chandler. It's Phoebe. Uhm... I know that Monica is working today so...(back to Central Perk) ...I was wondering if you want to come to the movies with me and Rachel.
Phoebe: Now, what is this?
Phoebe: I know! I know, I opened it up and there it was, just floating in there, like this tiny little hitch-hiker!
Phoebe: Well, I told you I had to spend all the day clearing out stuff, so Mike could move in.
(Phoebe enters)
Phoebe: Oh yeah, oh, she went to the salon alright...
Phoebe: Hey, have you guys seen Monica?
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Why not?
(Switch to Phoebe and Mike, who are kissing)
Phoebe: Aaah... you're not good at this...
Phoebe: For how long?
Phoebe: No, I think I can come over. It's Saturday, right?
Mike: (to Phoebe) So how've you been?
Phoebe: You have a... You have a date? With who?
Phoebe: Yeah, you can't do that! Oh, come on Mike, strap on a pair.Why don't you just tell her that we got back together. You know, women appreciate honesty. We also appreciate gentle spanking once in a while. Just F.Y.I.
Phoebe: Ooh, that was fast.
Phoebe: Hi, Mike's place.
Phoebe: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm, whos next?
Phoebe: (stunned) I... I'm Phoebe.
(there's knocking on the door which Phoebe opens)
Phoebe: Yknow the only reason hes marrying you is because he thinks all the things you were saying about yourself were true.
Rachel: Noooooo!! (Phoebe lifts up the sheet to discover the exact same apothecary table they have.)
Monica: I'm sorry it's just, Phoebe just always thought you were, you were charming in a, in a sexless kind of way.
[Scene: In the store. Rachel and Phoebe returning from the changing rooms]
[Scene: Mike's place. Phoebe is on the phone.]
Phoebe: Alright... Susie, can I call you Susie?
Phoebe: Well, I don't...
Phoebe: Nothing, there's nothing wrong with you.
Phoebe: You're welcome!
Phoebe: Okay, not a fan of the tough love.
Phoebe: Ross, youre being ridiculous! Okay? You are cute and smart and sweet and that is much more important than three stupid divorces!
Phoebe: Will it? Will it?! I mean, how would you feel if you found out you were 31?
Phoebe: Oh, wait a minute its not gonna be Baby Girl? I thought that was so original!
(Phoebe enters.)
Phoebe: Hey, what's all this stuff?
Phoebe: Hey guys!
Phoebe: Oh, how does it work?
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Good to see you.
(Phoebe tries to give her phone to Ross, but he won't take it. He mouths "no.")
Phoebe: That's a, that's a long time.
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Well, they may be a handful, but they're so cute.
Phoebe: Oh! Alright. Well I think the reason people laugh is becuase it's a play on the word roomy.
Phoebe: What?! You can't separate them! That's terrible. Which one?
Phoebe: Tell us what?
Phoebe: Nothing! (Picks up and sets the chick down on the floor.) (To the chick.) This is not over!
[Scene: At the Spa, Phoebe is at the half-opened door]
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
JOEY: Oh, but when Phoebe has a problem, everyone's all ears!
Phoebe: Insane.
Phoebe: Frank Jr.Jr.?
Phoebe: (singing) New York City has no power, and the milk is getting sour. But to me it is not scary, 'cause I stay away from dairy.... la la la, la la, la la... (she writes the lyrics down)
Phoebe: All right, all right... I'll play if we don't keep score!
Phoebe: Alright, so that leaves Chandler.
Phoebe: I couldve been killed I hope you know!
Phoebe: Are you kidding? That's what sisters are for.
Phoebe: Wow, Frank. I think we just ran out of kids.
Phoebe: I lost a whole year! I cant believe it! This is so unfair!
Phoebe: I feel like my face is swelling. (To Monica) Is my face swelling?
Phoebe: Hey.
Ross: Okay, Phoebe, this Dr. Oberman. He has no strong feelings about Fonzie or any of the Happy Days gang.
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Chandler enter to find Phoebe there with the triplets.]
Phoebe: Still, he had to find out sometime.
(Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk away, sipping their drinks)
Monica: Hey Phoebe!
Phoebe: Hey!
(Phoebe enters)
(They slowly and hesitantly move their lips together and kiss gently. Phoebe has her eyes wide open in shock and Chandler is squinting. He finally breaks the kiss after only a short while and pushes Phoebe away.)
Phoebe: Hey. Here. (Hands Chandler a copy of her flyer and sees the picture of Ralph.) Ohh, whos the silver fox?
Phoebe: Oh, you won't believe who moved back to town.
Phoebe: Well, I thought you loved her when you-when you married her.
Phoebe: Ugh, Let's just cut her out!
(Phoebe fakes pain to get Ross looking for another doctor.)
Phoebe: Rachel? Patrick is really rich. (To Patrick) Give her some money.
Phoebe: Oh, okay, I'm having another one! This one doesn't hurt eitherOoh, yes it does! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ooh! (Checks under the blanket.) Oh, I was kinda hoping that was it.
Phoebe: C'mon Mike, you can beat her! Knock that dog off her head!
RYAN: Phoebe, I have spent the last eight months in a steel tube with men, thinking about this moment. I am not gonna let a bunch of itchy spots stand between us. [He walks to her and kisses her.]