words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Frank and Alice are there talking with Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Oh my God! I cant believe my little brother is married!
Phoebe: You guys, why didnt you tell me you were eloping?
Phoebe: Wait, wait, why were you at the courthouse?
Phoebe: Wow, a year and a half ago I didnt even know I had a brother, and now I have a sister too. (They all hug, and Frank and Alice start kissing.) Okay. Okay. Stop it, dont. So, I gotta get you a gift now. Is there anything you need?
Phoebe: (shocked) Thats a really nice gift. I was thinking of like a gravy boat.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!!
Phoebe: Guess what. Frank Jr., and Alice got married!
Phoebe: And! And, theyre gonna have a baby! (The gang is shocked.) And! And, they want me to grow it for them in my uterus. (The gang is stunned into silence.)
Phoebe: Yeah
Phoebe: Ewww! And "Oh no!" Itsthey just want me to be the surrogate. Its her-its her egg and her sperm, and Im-Im just the oven, its totally their bun.
Phoebe: Well, they said that I had to think about it first, but what is there to think about? Im gonna be giving them the greatest gift you can possibly give.
Phoebe: I know!
Phoebe: Yeah, whats your point?
Phoebe: Y'know you guys were a lot more supportive when I wanted to make denim furniture.
Phoebe: My mom never gave birth. Oh! But my birth mom did.
[Scene: Phoebe Sr.s house, theres a knock on the door.]
Phoebe Sr: Its open! Come in!
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe Sr: Hi!
Phoebe: Im sorry, Im late.
Phoebe Sr: Oh, thats okay, it gave me time to finish glazing my nipples.
Phoebe: Wow! You really go all out when youre expecting company.
Phoebe Sr: No, I was working on my pottery.
Phoebe: Oh! Ooh! Oh, I didnt know that you did pot.
Phoebe Sr: Well, yeah, mostly nudes. It combines my two passions, pottery and erotica.
Phoebe: Ooh, erotiery!
Phoebe Sr: Hey! Okay! Well thanks for coming out to see me. I just-I just thought it would be a very good idea to talk about this baby stuff in person. Yknow
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe Sr: I really dont think its a very good idea, Phoebe.
Phoebe: Why not?
Phoebe Sr: Well, because youd be giving up a baby, and I-I really dontI dont know if theres anything I can say that could make you understand the pain of giving up a baby. So, umm, (Picks up a puppy in the box next to the couch.)
Phoebe: Oh no! No-no! I understand the pain! Dont-dont hurt the puppy.
Phoebe Sr: No-no-no, the-the puppys yours.
Phoebe: Oh, I get a puppy!!
Phoebe Sr: Well, yeah! I mean yeah, but only for three days.
Phoebe: Why?
Phoebe Sr: I realise I dont have any right to start get all parenty on you and everything now, but umm, (Sees that Phoebe isnt paying attention and is busy mimicking the puppy.) uhh Phoebe, would you please look at me and not the puppy, its very important.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe Sr: I mean, I know what Im talking about. I gave up two babies, and I only wish I had someone there that had given up babies, that could tell me how terrible it is to give up babies. I just think that, it would be something you will regret every single day for the rest of your life. So, how ever hard it is to give up this puppy, it would be like a million times harder to give up a child. (Phoebe is playing with the puppy again, and not listening) I really shouldnt have given you the puppy first.
Phoebe: All right, Im sorry.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe is there with her puppy and is trying to sing it to sleep as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Why is Phoebe singing to Carl Mulden?
Phoebe: Ooh, yknow what, I think its time for puppy to go out again. Come on, lets go to the balcony.
Phoebe: Umm, the street. Come on, lets go to the street. Ooh, listen, dont go onto the balcony until after I get back. (Leaves)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, with the puppy, Monica, and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Phoebe: My moms gonna be here any minute. I cant do this, I cant give him up. Yesno, I can. I dont want to. But I can. No.
Phoebe: Ooh, I cant do this. My mom was right. If I cant-if I cant give him up, then theres no way I can give up a baby. Ohh, God, Frank and Alice are gonna be so crushed. What-what else, what else can I give ema kidney!
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Oh! Ooh! Umm!
Phoebe: Hey, why dont you?
Phoebe: Uh-huh, yeah!
Phoebe: No, Im really okay with this. Yknow why? Cause look at them, and I made that, so I know its gonna be like a million times harder to give up a baby but, oh my God, its gonna feel like a million times better, right? I wanna do this. (To Frank and Alice) I wanna carry your baby.
Phoebe Sr: (entering) Hi! Whats going on?
Phoebe: Oh, I-I gave them the puppy and it made them so happy that I decided Im gonna carry their baby.
Phoebe Sr: But Phoebe
Phoebe: No-no-no, I know, but you and I are different people though, and this is a totally different situation, and I know that I am not gonna regret this.
Phoebe Sr: Oh, I-I-I understand all that, but its justthat was my puppy.
Phoebe: Oh!
Monica: No Phoebe I am mad!
Phoebe: Okay!
Rachel: Phoebe, that is juice, squeezed from a person.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Joey are sitting on the couch. A waitress brings a coffee and Phoebe wants to pay.]
Phoebe: Bye!!!
Phoebe: So uh, now look at the picture
Mike: (gets up) Joe, I love Phoebe. She's the single most important thing in my life. I'd die before I let anything happen to her.
Phoebe: Ooh, ok, that's it. Enough with the keys. No one say keys.
Phoebe: Or, or the rodeo!!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe is entering to see Monica sitting in front of a mound of wedding gifts.]
Phoebe: Umm, well I, I kinda had a little chat with Alice, and I sort of made her see why you two shouldnt be together, y'know. And youre gonna see it to, one day, you really, really will.
(Phoebe runs into the kitchen with wet hair, opens the window, and sticks her head outside.)
Phoebe: Oh my God!!
Phoebe: What are you doing here?
Phoebe: What happened?
Phoebe: Your getting married?!
Phoebe: Frank! Hi!
Phoebe: Do I?
Phoebe: Yeah, I do, yeah.
Phoebe: What, hes 18.
Phoebe: Yeah, isnt it fantastic?
Joey: Thats not a bad idea. Yeah. Okay, but if I got to turn on the charm tomorrow Im not wasting anymore of it over here with you guys. (Starts to leave, but stops and turns to Phoebe.) Well, actually I got a little bit saved for you Pheebs. (Exits.)
Phoebe: Yeah. Candys the mother, Cookies the daughter. The fathers also Cookie. Why am I friends with these people?
Phoebe: Oh my God, oh my God! Poor Monica!
Phoebe: Wow, kids. Frank, are you sure youre ready for that?
Phoebe: Well, that’s what I said, but it turns out, Mike was planning on proposing to me that same way last night!
Phoebe: Yes. Not out loud.
Carol: (on phone) Phoebe hang on a second Ross wants to say something. (listens) What? (listens) (to Ross) You slept with someone else?!
Phoebe: Fine! Okay, all right, so Jane Eyre, first of all, you'd think she's a woman, but she's not. She's a cyborg.
Phoebe: Well, okay, fine, use my happy place. Okay, I'm just gonna, I have to ask that you don't move anything.
Phoebe: No! Not the sex part, just the stuff leading up to it.
Phoebe: Okay, alright, you buy me a soda, and then we're even. Okay?
Phoebe: Listen, I need to ask you something. Ok, you know how my step dad's in prison.
Phoebe: Wow! This place is incredible! (Gasps) Stings pen that he gave to Phoebe. (Puts the pen in her purse and goes over to a floor-to-ceiling bookcase) Come on! Secret passageway! (Starts pulling books at random as Trudie enters.)
Phoebe: Well then, (to Ross) what about you?! Huh?!
Phoebe: You know who shaved you? That was me.
[Scene: Phoebes, Phoebe is opening the door.]
Phoebe: Y'know what, forget it. Its ruined.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, sure. So, how was your day?
Phoebe: So you guys, I'm doing all new material tonight. I have twelve new songs about my mother's suicide, and one about a snowman.
Phoebe: Now what is Fabutec?
Phoebe: What umm, what happened?
MONICA: Phoebe, he's a friend of my parents. He's like 20 years older than me.
Phoebe: Okay.
[Cut to still later, Rachel has now resigned herself to move and is now helping Monica. Phoebe is still on the chair.]
Phoebe: Okay, but.
Phoebe: Yeah, but not just that.
Phoebe: Oh, youre such a gentleman. (Grabs his arm.) Come on! Were going to my place! (Drags him off to her place.)
Phoebe: None the less.
Ross: You see this, this is a person who is ready to go. Phoebe you, oh, you are my star.
Phoebe: Oh. Aw, forget it.
Monica: Okay, we'll start with the building. You guys take the first and second floor, Phoebe and I'll take third and fourth.
Phoebe: That is so great! Oh, I... (sees that a parked car near them has caught on fire) Oh my God!
Monica and Phoebe: Oh.
Monica: Phoebe why dont you just call her? You obviously want to.
Phoebe: No, that was my way of telling you. Well, it turns out hes incredibly sensitive, he keeps a journal and he paints. He even showed me charcoal drawings that he drew of me.
Phoebe: Huh.
Phoebe: What, so what are you gonna tell him?
Phoebe: Yeah! Well, I really liked that Lamaze class I took! Y'know and this time I thought I'd go for something, y'know a little more intellectual, with a less painful final exam.
Phoebe: Wait okay, if this game is gonna cause problems between the two of you, then maybe I should just keep it.
Phoebe: In your atlas!
Phoebe: Not if nothing happens. Why can't... why can't we just hang out as friends?
Phoebe: Well, if you really, really want it, then its okay.
Phoebe: Yes! You know, in six months the Statute of Limitations runs out and I can travel internationally again!
Phoebe: Yeah, kinda.
Ross: Phoebe, forget it, okay? Newark is - is like an hour away. There's no way we're gonna make it in time.
Joey: But Phoebe, wait! Wait! Phoebe. Phoebe! (catches her in the hallway)
Phoebe: Oh, was I doing it again?
Phoebe: Well, of course it smells really bad. You have your head up a dead animal.
Phoebe: All right, c'mere, gimme your feet. (She starts massaging them.)
Phoebe: It isnt?
Phoebe: Doing it on this table. (points at the table)
(Both Phoebe and him are singing along and they get to the chorus.)
Phoebe: Okay well, he would turn things to gold.
Phoebe: Really?! Really?!
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Paolo: (something in Italian, he is apparently attracted to Phoebe)
Phoebe: Me too. Although this city is my home, so. So thats dumb what I said, dont tell him I said that. Umm, you make something up. (Mischa does so and Sergei kisses her hand.) Nice, (to Mischa) thank you. This is me. Here.
Phoebe: Thats a dog, every house should have a dog.
[Scene: Phoebe's dad's house. Phoebe pulls up in the cab with Rachel and Joey in the back.]
Phoebe: The little ones do.
Chandler: Y'know what else I can't believe? I had to kiss Phoebe and Rachel every time I left a room, I mean it's too bad they didn't see us having sex.
Phoebe: Hey!
Ross: Okay, I know what I have to do. Ive got to go Red Ross. (Joey and Phoebe dont know what hes talking about.) Yknow, Red Ross!
Phoebe: Oh, sweetie, oh. (hugs him)
Monica: Its very interesting, Phoebe.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is teaching Leslie how to sing Smelly Cat.]
Phoebe: Yes... I'm sorry, I've never met a boyfriends parents before...
Phoebe: All right, that's it, I quit.
Phoebe: Well not exactly like the one in the poem.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey are there. Monica is holding a piece of paper.]
Phoebe: Yeah, um, which ones in particular were great for you?
Phoebe: Okay, obviously you dont know much about the U.S. government.
Phoebe: Theyre at the coffeehouse.
(Phoebe gets up from the table, and while her back is turned, Rachel and Monica indicate via sign language that they each would have picked the other.)
Phoebe: Whered you get too? We lost you after you opened up all the presents.
Phoebe: All right. All right! If he wants a date? He's gonna get a date. All right, I'm gonna go in.
Phoebe: All right. Did everyone get out okay?
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Ross: No Phoebe, dont look! You dont want to see whats under there!!