words in movies
PHOEBE: I can see that, 'cause they both have those big brown eyes and, ya know, the little pouty chin. MONICA: And the fact that they're both monkeys.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe are at the couch.]
PHOEBE: Ooh, where are you off to, Travelin' Jake?
RACHEL: Oh, Phoebe, that really cute guy is here again.
PHOEBE: Oh, oh, OK, so everyone, pretend like I'm telling you a story, OK. And, and it's really funny. So everyone just laugh, now.
PHOEBE: I know, I know. [to Rob] Hello.
PHOEBE: Hi Rob Dohnen.
PHOEBE: Oh, wow.
PHOEBE: Oh, I would love to have kids. . . you're, you're the, you're, me play the songs that I will write for them.
[Scene: Library. Phoebe is getting ready to sing for the kids. Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
[Phoebe pulls out her guitar]
PHOEBE: I know.
PHOEBE: No, uh-uh, I'm just, I'm nervous. So, you know what, maybe if I just, if I picture them all in their underwear.
PHOEBE: I'm just, I'm, I'm, I'm used to playing for grown-ups. Ya know, they just, grown-ups drink their coffee and do their grown-up thing, ya know, and kids listen. This is a huge responsibility. What? Are you gonna kiss me?
PHOEBE: OK. [they kiss] OK, alrighty, let's play some tunes. Hi everybody, I'm Phoebe
ALL: Hi Phoebe.
PHOEBE: OK, um, I'm gonna play, um, some songs about grandparents, OK. [singing] Now, grandma's a person who everyone likes, she bought you a train and a bright, shiny bike. But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner, And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner. Now, your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru, but the truth is she died and some day you will too. La-la-la la la-la-la la la-la-la la...
[Scene: Library. Phoebe is singing.]
PHOEBE: [singing] There'll be times when you get older when you'll want to sleep with people just to make them like you. . . But don't. Cause that's another thing that you don't wanna do, everybody That's another thing that you don't wanna do.
PHOEBE: Thank you for coming everybody. There're cookies in the back.
PHOEBE: Yay, I rock.
PHOEBE: But.
PHOEBE: I sense these things. It was either but or butter.
PHOEBE: I can do that.
PHOEBE: Yeah.
PHOEBE: Thinkin' about it.
PHOEBE: OK, hi again.
ALL: Hi Phoebe.
PHOEBE: Today we're gonna start with some songs about barnyard animals. [singing] Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo, Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo. Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up, And that's how we get hamburgers. Nooowww, chickens!
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Rob are sitting on the couch.]
PHOEBE: Fired! Why?
PHOEBE: I can't believe it. Did you tell your board about how kids want to hear the truth?
PHOEBE: I see.
PHOEBE: No. What do you, what do you want me to be, like some stupid, big, like, purple dinosaur?
PHOEBE: Who's Barney.
PHOEBE: OK, Rachel, I'm ready.
PHOEBE: Um, yeah I guess that's me.
PHOEBE: [singing] Sometimes men love women, sometimes men love men, and then there are bisexuals, though some just say they're kidding themselves. la la-la-la la-la-la-la-la-la-la...
PHOEBE: OK. Um, how come I'm walking with you?
PHOEBE: I know. Oh, like you would drink her coffee after what you did to her with Van Damme.
PHOEBE: Stick a fork what?
PHOEBE: Oh, OK, I don't eat meat.
PHOEBE: Well you know, you juist, you eat them and you can tell.
PHOEBE: Oh, you just know.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Rachel are upset with each other. Phoebe is mediating.]
PHOEBE: OK, Rachel, why don't you start talking first.
PHOEBE: Alright Monica, if there is something that you would like to share...
[They keep flicking each other. This turns into slapping each other. This leads to wrestling on the floor. All the while Phoebe is saying "Happy thoughts". Eventually Phoebe gets fed up.]
PHOEBE: OK, now I'm gonna kick some ass.
[Phoebe grabs each of them by an ear]
PHOEBE: Alright, now I will let go if you both stop.
PHOEBE: There we go.You know what, if we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches.
PHOEBE: Oh alright, stop, STOP THE MADNESS. This is crazy. Who can even remember why this even started in the first place?
PHOEBE: Yes that's right. But still, I-, look at your purse, look at your sweater, look at yourselves.
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Phoebe, and Chandler are sitting.]
PHOEBE: I'm almost done with it, keep your panties on.
PHOEBE: [sees Marcel at the window] Oh my God.
PHOEBE: You know, I think I want to write a song about all this.
PHOEBE: Yeah. Oh, except one of the strings on my guitar is broken. Hey, Chandler, can I borrow your G-string?
PHOEBE: About 20 minutes. CLOSING CREDITS
Phoebe: Yeah, you can't do that! Oh, come on Mike, strap on a pair.Why don't you just tell her that we got back together. You know, women appreciate honesty. We also appreciate gentle spanking once in a while. Just F.Y.I.
Phoebe: Ooh, that was fast.
Phoebe: Hi, Mike's place.
Phoebe: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm, whos next?
Phoebe: (stunned) I... I'm Phoebe.
(there's knocking on the door which Phoebe opens)
Phoebe: Yknow the only reason hes marrying you is because he thinks all the things you were saying about yourself were true.
Rachel: Noooooo!! (Phoebe lifts up the sheet to discover the exact same apothecary table they have.)
Monica: I'm sorry it's just, Phoebe just always thought you were, you were charming in a, in a sexless kind of way.
[Scene: In the store. Rachel and Phoebe returning from the changing rooms]
[Scene: Mike's place. Phoebe is on the phone.]
Phoebe: Alright... Susie, can I call you Susie?
Phoebe: Well, I don't...
Phoebe: Nothing, there's nothing wrong with you.
Phoebe: You're welcome!
Phoebe: Okay, not a fan of the tough love.
Phoebe: Ross, youre being ridiculous! Okay? You are cute and smart and sweet and that is much more important than three stupid divorces!
Phoebe: Will it? Will it?! I mean, how would you feel if you found out you were 31?
Phoebe: Oh, wait a minute its not gonna be Baby Girl? I thought that was so original!
(Phoebe enters.)
Phoebe: Hey, what's all this stuff?
Phoebe: Hey guys!
Phoebe: Oh, how does it work?
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Good to see you.
(Phoebe tries to give her phone to Ross, but he won't take it. He mouths "no.")
Phoebe: That's a, that's a long time.
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Well, they may be a handful, but they're so cute.
Phoebe: Oh! Alright. Well I think the reason people laugh is becuase it's a play on the word roomy.
Phoebe: What?! You can't separate them! That's terrible. Which one?
Phoebe: Tell us what?
Phoebe: Nothing! (Picks up and sets the chick down on the floor.) (To the chick.) This is not over!
[Scene: At the Spa, Phoebe is at the half-opened door]
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
JOEY: Oh, but when Phoebe has a problem, everyone's all ears!
Phoebe: Insane.
Phoebe: Frank Jr.Jr.?
Phoebe: (singing) New York City has no power, and the milk is getting sour. But to me it is not scary, 'cause I stay away from dairy.... la la la, la la, la la... (she writes the lyrics down)
Phoebe: All right, all right... I'll play if we don't keep score!
Phoebe: Alright, so that leaves Chandler.
Phoebe: I couldve been killed I hope you know!
Phoebe: Are you kidding? That's what sisters are for.
Phoebe: Wow, Frank. I think we just ran out of kids.
Phoebe: I lost a whole year! I cant believe it! This is so unfair!
Phoebe: I feel like my face is swelling. (To Monica) Is my face swelling?
Phoebe: Hey.
Ross: Okay, Phoebe, this Dr. Oberman. He has no strong feelings about Fonzie or any of the Happy Days gang.
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Chandler enter to find Phoebe there with the triplets.]
Phoebe: Still, he had to find out sometime.
(Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk away, sipping their drinks)
Monica: Hey Phoebe!
Phoebe: Hey!
(Phoebe enters)
(They slowly and hesitantly move their lips together and kiss gently. Phoebe has her eyes wide open in shock and Chandler is squinting. He finally breaks the kiss after only a short while and pushes Phoebe away.)
Phoebe: Hey. Here. (Hands Chandler a copy of her flyer and sees the picture of Ralph.) Ohh, whos the silver fox?
Phoebe: Oh, you won't believe who moved back to town.
Phoebe: Well, I thought you loved her when you-when you married her.
Phoebe: Ugh, Let's just cut her out!
(Phoebe fakes pain to get Ross looking for another doctor.)
Phoebe: Rachel? Patrick is really rich. (To Patrick) Give her some money.
Phoebe: Oh, okay, I'm having another one! This one doesn't hurt eitherOoh, yes it does! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ooh! (Checks under the blanket.) Oh, I was kinda hoping that was it.
Phoebe: C'mon Mike, you can beat her! Knock that dog off her head!
RYAN: Phoebe, I have spent the last eight months in a steel tube with men, thinking about this moment. I am not gonna let a bunch of itchy spots stand between us. [He walks to her and kisses her.]
Phoebe: Why, why, why didn’t you just say no!
Phoebe: I did!
Phoebe: Thank you. (she tears up the gift certificate)
Phoebe: (playing guitar and singing) And there's a country called Argentinaaaa, it's a place I've never seeeeen. But I'm told for fifty pesos you can buy a human spleen. Humaaan spleeeeen. Olè!
Phoebe: Oh, look, twins. Hi, guys. Oh, cute, cute.
Monica: Hey Phoebe!
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: No.
Phoebe: So you dont know thats Barneys the store! That can be yknow his friends house, or a bar. Who has Barneys the store on their speed dial?
Phoebe: Hi!
David: Right... Goodbye Phoebe. (Makes a move to kiss her.)
Amanda: Hi! (Phoebe and Amanda hug)
Phoebe: Ooh, this is so exciting! Ooh, God, what are you going to bet?
Monica: (To Phoebe) You were going to cut me out?
Phoebe: Well...kinda.
Phoebe: (Also gets up and starts taking her purse) Oh my God. Was Mike with him?
Monica: Wait a minute! He stopped talking the minute Phoebe came in!
Rachel: Phoebe, you were right. I should've never gone to London, and from now on you make all of my decisions for me.
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, Rachel is entering carrying two glasses of wine. She gives one to Phoebe, keeps one, and completely ignores Monica.]
(Phoebe and Amanda walk in)
Phoebe: Please, Monica? In the hall?
Phoebe: (getting up) Oh, for god�s sake, Judy, pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! (everybody scared) I�m sorry, was that rude? Di-did my, my li-little outburst blunt (?) the hideousness (?) that is this evening? Look, I know, you all have a lot going on, but all I wanted to do was have dinner with my friends on my birthday. And you are all so late and you didn�t even have the courtesy to call. (her cellular rings) Well, it�s too late now.
Phoebe: Yeah, I guess you're right.
PHOEBE: Um, gram, um, can I see the pictures of my dad again?
Phoebe: (looking into the trash can) Sure. (Reaching into the trash can.) Do you need some floss? (Grabs a piece of it.)
Phoebe: (likes the jacket) No, but I like it. I think I left one of my rat babies.
Rachel and Phoebe: Hi!
[Scene: Central Park, Ross is teaching Phoebe how to ride her bike.]
Phoebe: (to Rachel) Ok, I just wanna be really sure this time. Andie McDowell's the girl from Four Weddings and a Funeral, right?
Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party.
Phoebe: Oh!
Phoebe: Sure, yeah!
Phoebe: (to Joey) Are you gonna be embarrassed going up there having nothing prepared?
Phoebe: Sure! Look, ok, bottom line: I love Mike... David! David. I love David. Don't look at me that way, Roseanne Rosannadanna!
Phoebe: Oh, Im sorry. I didnt hear you over all the winning.
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe, I’m sorry! Phoebe has prepared something as well.