words in movies
PHOEBE: I can see that, 'cause they both have those big brown eyes and, ya know, the little pouty chin. MONICA: And the fact that they're both monkeys.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe are at the couch.]
PHOEBE: Ooh, where are you off to, Travelin' Jake?
RACHEL: Oh, Phoebe, that really cute guy is here again.
PHOEBE: Oh, oh, OK, so everyone, pretend like I'm telling you a story, OK. And, and it's really funny. So everyone just laugh, now.
PHOEBE: I know, I know. [to Rob] Hello.
PHOEBE: Hi Rob Dohnen.
PHOEBE: Oh, wow.
PHOEBE: Oh, I would love to have kids. . . you're, you're the, you're, me play the songs that I will write for them.
[Scene: Library. Phoebe is getting ready to sing for the kids. Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
[Phoebe pulls out her guitar]
PHOEBE: I know.
PHOEBE: No, uh-uh, I'm just, I'm nervous. So, you know what, maybe if I just, if I picture them all in their underwear.
PHOEBE: I'm just, I'm, I'm, I'm used to playing for grown-ups. Ya know, they just, grown-ups drink their coffee and do their grown-up thing, ya know, and kids listen. This is a huge responsibility. What? Are you gonna kiss me?
PHOEBE: OK. [they kiss] OK, alrighty, let's play some tunes. Hi everybody, I'm Phoebe
ALL: Hi Phoebe.
PHOEBE: OK, um, I'm gonna play, um, some songs about grandparents, OK. [singing] Now, grandma's a person who everyone likes, she bought you a train and a bright, shiny bike. But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner, And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner. Now, your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru, but the truth is she died and some day you will too. La-la-la la la-la-la la la-la-la la...
[Scene: Library. Phoebe is singing.]
PHOEBE: [singing] There'll be times when you get older when you'll want to sleep with people just to make them like you. . . But don't. Cause that's another thing that you don't wanna do, everybody That's another thing that you don't wanna do.
PHOEBE: Thank you for coming everybody. There're cookies in the back.
PHOEBE: Yay, I rock.
PHOEBE: But.
PHOEBE: I sense these things. It was either but or butter.
PHOEBE: I can do that.
PHOEBE: Yeah.
PHOEBE: Thinkin' about it.
PHOEBE: OK, hi again.
ALL: Hi Phoebe.
PHOEBE: Today we're gonna start with some songs about barnyard animals. [singing] Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo, Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo. Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up, And that's how we get hamburgers. Nooowww, chickens!
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Rob are sitting on the couch.]
PHOEBE: Fired! Why?
PHOEBE: I can't believe it. Did you tell your board about how kids want to hear the truth?
PHOEBE: I see.
PHOEBE: No. What do you, what do you want me to be, like some stupid, big, like, purple dinosaur?
PHOEBE: Who's Barney.
PHOEBE: OK, Rachel, I'm ready.
PHOEBE: Um, yeah I guess that's me.
PHOEBE: [singing] Sometimes men love women, sometimes men love men, and then there are bisexuals, though some just say they're kidding themselves. la la-la-la la-la-la-la-la-la-la...
PHOEBE: OK. Um, how come I'm walking with you?
PHOEBE: I know. Oh, like you would drink her coffee after what you did to her with Van Damme.
PHOEBE: Stick a fork what?
PHOEBE: Oh, OK, I don't eat meat.
PHOEBE: Well you know, you juist, you eat them and you can tell.
PHOEBE: Oh, you just know.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Rachel are upset with each other. Phoebe is mediating.]
PHOEBE: OK, Rachel, why don't you start talking first.
PHOEBE: Alright Monica, if there is something that you would like to share...
[They keep flicking each other. This turns into slapping each other. This leads to wrestling on the floor. All the while Phoebe is saying "Happy thoughts". Eventually Phoebe gets fed up.]
PHOEBE: OK, now I'm gonna kick some ass.
[Phoebe grabs each of them by an ear]
PHOEBE: Alright, now I will let go if you both stop.
PHOEBE: There we go.You know what, if we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches.
PHOEBE: Oh alright, stop, STOP THE MADNESS. This is crazy. Who can even remember why this even started in the first place?
PHOEBE: Yes that's right. But still, I-, look at your purse, look at your sweater, look at yourselves.
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Phoebe, and Chandler are sitting.]
PHOEBE: I'm almost done with it, keep your panties on.
PHOEBE: [sees Marcel at the window] Oh my God.
PHOEBE: You know, I think I want to write a song about all this.
PHOEBE: Yeah. Oh, except one of the strings on my guitar is broken. Hey, Chandler, can I borrow your G-string?
PHOEBE: About 20 minutes. CLOSING CREDITS
Phoebe: That's a bird!
Phoebe: That's a bird?
(Monica glares at Phoebe.)
Phoebe: What if we don't find him somebody else? We'll just tell her the date's off, but we don't tell Ross, and he goes to the restaurant and gets stood up!
Phoebe: So good!
Phoebe: No, I-I mean your-your old best friend, here. (hands her the picture) Lily, from high school. Remember?
Phoebe: Rachel, didn't have anything that I liked, so, but she had this Christmas ribbon, and I thought, 'All right, fine I'll be political.'
Monica: Okay, Phoebe, y'know what? That-thats it, thats it, all right? No dinosaurs, no ghosts, no giant dogs, okay? Theyre not the right size, theyre not Victorian, and they just dont go.
Phoebe: (softly) Sorry. (Camera pans back to Monica, still on phone)
Phoebe: (Entering) Hey.
Phoebe: Oh no, how?
Phoebe: Which one?
Phoebe: No, which one? The right or left? 'Cause the left one is lucky...
Monica: Okay, I got it. Phoebe? All right, you pull. I'm gonna spread the legs as wide as I can. (Joey starts giggling.) Joey? Now is not the time!
PHOEBE: Yeah, I met him when I was playing guitar in Washington Square Park. Ryan threw in salt water taffy 'cause he didn't have any change.
Phoebe: Well, he made a move on me.
PHOEBE: Oh, this is so nice. Alright I have to make a speech. I just wanna say that of all the guys that Monica has been with, and that is a lot, I like you the best.
Phoebe: Or we could just follow your clever jokes any ideas? No! Didnt think so! Okay, cmon guys, show us where the presents are!
Phoebe: Yes, but there isn't always time!
Phoebe: Well, Vince is great, y'know `cause, he's like a guy, guy. Y'know? He's so burly, he's sooo very burly. (giggles)
Phoebe: Fine! Ill call Zurich and move some money around.
Phoebe: Marcel?
Monica: Look, Phoebe!
Phoebe: Marcel?
Phoebe: Oh-my-God!
Phoebe: Oh, exellent. Everyone was so, so nice.
(Phoebe and Chandler enter)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is coaching Chandler on how to break up with Janice.]
Phoebe: Hey! Ooh! How was teaching last night?
Phoebe: I-I-Id love to. Let me just tell my friend.
Monica: (grabbing a bag of Nestle Tollhouse chocolate chips) Phoebe, is this the recipe? (Tosses her the bag.)
Phoebe: Whoah, ooh, why is the air in here so negative?
Phoebe: The most popular Phoebe in tennis is called the overhand Phoebe. And if you win, you must slap your opponent on the Phoebe and say, "Hi, Phoebe!"
Phoebe: Well at Monicas you can eat(Suddenly cracks up.)
Phoebe: No, I didn't tell anybody that I knew you.
Phoebe: Nope.
Phoebe: Why would you leave your Belgian waffle in the hall?
Phoebe: Pat Sajak?
Phoebe: So-so you two were married huh? What happened? You just drift apart?
Phoebe: Okay, they're just talking...
Phoebe: Oh, because, you know... they don't like you.
Phoebe: So, uh, why didn't you say anything?
Phoebe: I thought you knew that.
Phoebe: I can hop. (She hops onto the table)
Phoebe: Dun-dun-duuuur! Sorry.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there. Ross has an icepack to his head.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is at the sink and Chandler is looking at a ring brochure.]
Phoebe: Everyone. Except for uh... no everyone.
Dr. Harad: Just-just to clarify, I'm not Fonzie. (Phoebe nods in agreement as he leaves.)
Phoebe: (from outside) Trick or treat! (It�s obviously Halloween eve, the night of her birthday dinner.)
Phoebe: Well, I mean, then what happens if it doesn't work out?
Phoebe: (points at Joey's pen) Uh, uh, gimme. Can you see me operating a drill press?
Phoebe: No! I am a positive person. You are like Santa Clause on Prozac, at Disneyland, getting laid!
Phoebe: Sex in his chair.
Phoebe: Don't feel bad. You know they used to like you a lot. But then you got promoted, and, you know, now you're like "Mr. Boss Man". You know, Mr. Bing. Mr. Bing, "Boss Man Bing".
Phoebe: Where are you going?
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah. They even do you.
Arthur: (To another coworker) Call security. (To Phoebe) Pheebs, didnt you get fired?
Phoebe: The woman who cuts my hair!
Phoebe: Your hair looks too good, I think it would upset her. Ross, why don't you come on in.
Monica: (to Phoebe) Oh my God! Did you hear that? She hired me because she thinks Im good.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey returns from his audition and finds everyone but Phoebe there.]
(Phoebe, Joey and Ross laughs)
Phoebe: Oh yeah it is! Im going to the movies and it starts in like five minutes.
Phoebe: Rdtor.
Phoebe: Any chance Charlie has a deaf twin?
PHOEBE: We were just wondering if Chandler's girlfriend is a girl.
Phoebe: Whoo-hoo!
Phoebe: You know he's gay?
Phoebe: Yeah, but I-I-I-I can do that for you, Im gonna do that for you.
[Scene: The Hotel Lobby, Rachel and Phoebe are at the front desk checking out.]
Phoebe: Ooh, technically you owe me $600 for sending out happy thoughts on your last ten auditions.
(Phoebe, Joey and Ross laugh)
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: What are you doing?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Phoebe: I don't know, you might be the first one.
Phoebe and Rachel: Aww.
Phoebe: I don't know what I'm gonna do about this coat.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, the next day. Phoebe is busy making a sandwich.]
Phoebe: (exhausted) How do you feel?
PHOEBE: I like this lily. It's more open, ya know, and that's like my mom. She had a more open, giving spirit. Ooh, Foghorn Leghorn, ooh.
Phoebe Sr.: Well, I dont know. I mean its not like we dont have anything in common. I mean I like uh, pizza.
Phoebe: Now, are you sure you dont want to go see a doctor?
RICHARD: Uh, Phoebe, I don't think your mom would want you to see what's about to happen.
Phoebe: Oh my God! You got off easy! When my friend Silvie's husband said someone else's name in bed, she cursed him and turned his thingy green.
Phoebe: (as though Rachel wasn't paying attention) Yummy noises.
Phoebe: Oh, okay. Feel better, Rachel, 'kay?
Phoebe: Plus that shirt doesn't really match those pants.
(Phoebe smiles, when Joey takes her face in his hands and kisses her. Joey gets up to leave but stops suddenly. Phoebe silently shouts "Oh, whoa!!" to herself, and leans back in the sofa to recover, a hand to her tingling lips. A thoughtful Joey is also feeling his lips, so he hesitates for a moment, then returns for a better view, he thinks again, cocking his head from side to side to regard her profile from various angles, then...)
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: I really do, yeah.
Phoebe: Well, then you should come tonight. You know, just hang out with them. Let them see what a great guy you still are.
Phoebe: No, but you can't.
Phoebe: Uh uh.
Phoebe: Maybe that's 'cause she's not really gone.
Phoebe: How - how do I get them to name the next one after me?
Phoebe: (To Chandler) Check it out! Cup hat! (Points to her hat.) Cup banner! Cup chandelier! And the thing that started it all, the cup! (Holds up one.)
Phoebe: Petrie.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Aw, remember the days when you used to go out to the barn, lift up your shirt, and bend over?