words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there but Chandler. Phoebe runs in, excitedly.]
Phoebe: Hey you guys! Chandler's coming and he says he has, like, this incredible news, so when he gets here, we could all act like, you know...
Phoebe: Never mind. But it was going to be really good.
Phoebe: So was it a lot more money?
Phoebe: Oooh! I have something you can do! I have this new massage client... Steve? (pause) Anyway, he's opening up a restaurant and he's looking for a head chef.
Monica: (taps Phoebe on her shoulder) Um... hi there.
Phoebe: Hi! (turns back to Chandler, then to Monica) Oh, yeah, no, I know. You're a chef. I know, and I thought of you first, but um, Chandler's the one who needs a job right now, so....
Phoebe: (to Monica's tapping) Yeah, yeah!
Phoebe: Well, he wants to do some ecclectic, so he's looking for someone who can, you know, create the entire menu.
Phoebe: Yeah, I know! (turns to Chandler) So, what do you think?
Chandler: Thanks, Phoebe. But I just don't really see myself in a big white hat.
Phoebe: OK. (pause) Oh Monica! Guess what!
Phoebe: Where are you going, Mr. Suity-Man?
Phoebe: Ooh! Brian's Song!
Monica: So anyway, I'm cooking dinner for him Monday night. You know, kind of like an audition. And Phoebe, he really wants you to be here, which will be great for me because then you can 'ooh' and 'ahh' and make yummy noises.
Phoebe: (as though Rachel wasn't paying attention) Yummy noises.
Phoebe: Ooh! I know what you could make! (runs over to join Monica and Rachel in the kitchen) I know! Oh, you should definitely make that thing... you know, with the stuff? (Monica doesn't know.) You know, that thing... with the stuff...? OK, I don't know. (sits down)
Phoebe: Oh, is this the bug lady?
Phoebe: That's so great! 'Cause you already know how to do that!
Phoebe: Ten dollars an hour for what?
[Scene: Chandler's new window office, he is showing Phoebe around.]
Phoebe: (excited) Wow! It's huge! It's so much bigger than the cubicle. Oh, this is a cube.
Phoebe: Oh! You have a window!
Phoebe: Oh look! That guy's peeing!
Phoebe: (sitting) OK.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, later. Rachel is waitressing, Monica is cooking. Phoebe walks in with Steve (Crystal Duck winner Jon Lovitz).]
Phoebe: (overemphasizing) Mmmmmm! Everything smells so delicious! You know, I can't remember a time I smelt such a delicious combination of (Monica signals her to stop) of, OK, smells.
(They leave on the tour and Rachel goes to follow them but Phoebe stops her and drags her into the kitchen.)
Phoebe: (whispers) In the cab, on the way over, Steve blazed up a doobie.
Phoebe: Smoked a joint? You know, lit a bone? Weed? Hemp? Ganja?
Phoebe: Yeah! You know all those yummy noises? I wasn't faking.
Phoebe: You guys wanna try and catch a late movie or something?
Phoebe: How's this? (presses down hard)
Phoebe: Sorry. How about over here? (presses down hard again)
Phoebe: See, that just means it's working. Does this hurt? (presses down elsewhere)
Phoebe: What about this? (she starts using her elbows on his back, he yells in pain)
Phoebe: There you go! (She continues to work him over with her elbows and he continues to yell in pain.)
Phoebe: Oh, well, see, there's this guy she met at the...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
Phoebe: It's not that bad.
Phoebe: Okay. Oh umm, Chandler, Monica is looking for you.
Phoebe: Chandler, Chandler.
Phoebe: Well no, it was my fault so you should get the nice room.
(Ursula Buffay, Phoebes identical twin sister, is waiting on tables in her inimitable manner.)
Phoebe: (singing) And I'm still waiting for my paper mache man. Thank you my babies.
Phoebe: (entering from Rachel's bedroom) I found it!
Phoebe: Oh! All right. Now, let's not do this!
Phoebe: I know! I know! I know!
Phoebe: Happy thoughts! Happy thoughts!
Phoebe: No. Im-Im to depressed to talk.
Phoebe: Yeah. So, we can do it tomorrow night, you guys. It's Valentine's Day. It's perfect.
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: (To Ross) Hes holding us back.
Phoebe: No! Joey, youre going to be great!
Phoebe: (in a sexy voice to Chandler) Ill be waiting.
Phoebe: Oh, I love paper mache! What did you make?
Phoebe: Ive never done that.
Rachel: (To Phoebe) We do?
Phoebe: I want to see what he wants first.
Phoebe: Well, if you must know I have written 14 books. And as I am the only one who has read them, I can tell you that they all have been very well received.
(Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe enter.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Phoebe, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are there, Joey is demonstrating a card trick.]
Phoebe: Oh, I wasnt even thinking about that.
Mike: Phoebe you don't have to eat...
(Phoebe picks up her cell-phone and calls Monica. Monica is still packing in her apartment.)
Phoebe: So that's why she gave you a naked picture of herself.
Phoebe: I know, I took it hard too.
Rachel: Yeah. Your teeth? Yes, I saw them from outside. (Sitting down on the couch.) You guys are never going to believe this. But, Phoebe made out with Ralph Lauren.
Phoebe: Why would the copy guy say he was Ralph Lauren?
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Ok, who wants to hear something ironic?
Phoebe: Oh, I'm going to give him something else besides joy, just (She scowls at him.)
Phoebe: You mean like a doctor?
Phoebe: Umm, sympathy pains. I thought it was really sweet at first, but now I think he's just trying to steal my thunder.
Phoebe: I see what youre doing!
Phoebe: (writing in her book) "You wish."
Phoebe: Estelle? Why?
Phoebe: Yeah, just, okay, look I'm going. Um, come on. Op, op, behind the pillar, which way am I gonna go?
Phoebe: I know what time you said.
Phoebe: Thanks! So are you.
Phoebe: (Turning around in the chair) Hi!
Phoebe: Thats right.
Phoebe: Yeah, you have homosexual hair.
Rachel: Nothing! Phoebe kinda made a mistake. But yknow you do wear that sweater a lot, are you involved in some kind of dare?
Chandler: (reading the back of the picture) Me and Frank and Phoebe, Graduation 1965.
Phoebe: (dejected) Hi, you guys.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Great! Okay then its just us girls!
Phoebe: Yeah, Im a big surprise.
Phoebe: Hey. I'm so excited; I just set up Rachel with the worst guy tonight.
Phoebe: Don't make me do this again, I don't like my voice like this.
Phoebe: Hey, and then lunch.
PHOEBE: Actually, it makes us feel that big.
Phoebe: If you dont sail your boat, what do you do on it?
Phoebe: Dont even get me started on yours!
Monica: Maybe I can try at intermission? Phoebe, come on... you know what? Let's just go!
Phoebe: I dont know, I dont have anyone right now. Yknow?
Monica: Phoebe, that stuff is
Phoebe: Me too!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Rachel are having tea.]
Phoebe: (tremendously overacting) Fine! Ill do it without you! (Joey gives her thumbs up) I dont need you or anybody else! Im gonna make it on my own! (Joey closes the door to his bedroom.) Youll see!! Youll all see!!
Phoebe: Okay. (Goes over and hugs him.) Its exactly how Id imagined it would be.
Monica: Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (To Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
Phoebe: Just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl- oh!
Monica: Phoebe!
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: No! Why?
Joey: (to Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe) Did you hear that? I only get one extra ticket to my premiere. So some how I have to pick between you three and Ross.
Phoebe: Rachel said that!
Phoebe: What are you gonna do?
Phoebe: (screaming) Ahhh!! Chandler and Monica!! Chandler and Monica!!
Phoebe: Well, we should go.
Phoebe: Well, what did he do?
Phoebe: Joey!
Phoebe: Okay, maybe ask this guy.
[Scene: Central Perk, Frank and Alice are there talking with Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Yeah. (BEAT) Oh, I know what we can do. We could set Ross and Rachel up on horrible dates, so that they'll realise how good they are together.
Phoebe: (trying to hold back the struggling cat) He seems to hate you. Are you sure?
[Scene: Central Perk, Sergei is teaching Phoebe how to sing American Pie, by Don Maclean.]
Phoebe: I dont know. You could tie her up, she could tie you up; you could eat stuff off each other
Phoebe: Now, have you told anyone else?
Phoebe: You told me.
Phoebe: Yeah, coffeehouse.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Okay.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Watch this.
Paul: Hi Phoebe.
Phoebe: Okay thats so generous!
Phoebe: Well then I think thats it.
Phoebe: Yeah! That was so weird, huh?
Ross: Phoebe, whyd you do it?
Phoebe: And yknow, even if they break up again, youd better not let him in your sad mens club!
Phoebe Sr.: You do?! Wait, I like umm, the Beetles.
Phoebe: I like waking up with you too. (Looks out the window) Oh! It's such a beautiful morning. (Some birds are singing outside the window) Oh, I can stay here all day.
Phoebe: Joey! (Examining the dress.) Wow, you didnt rip off any buttons.
Phoebe: Oh my God! How bad was it?
Phoebe: I would love it if I weren't here!