words in movies
[Scene: Monica's apartment. Phoebe and Ross enter the room.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Oh, he has a gig. I kinda like being married to a rock star, you know. My husband has a gig.
Phoebe: Oh, he's playing organ for a children's roller-skating party.
Phoebe (watching the food on the table): Wow, this is quite a spread! (pause) What is all this stuff?
Phoebe (to Rachel): You doing ok?
Phoebe: Uh-hmm.
Phoebe: Yes! You know, in six months the Statute of Limitations runs out and I can travel internationally again!
Phoebe: I know.
Joey: Huh, if I had to guess I'd say Rachel is putting on the bubble wrap and Phoebe is doing the punching.
[Scene: Guest room. Rachel and Phoebe are sitting on the bed.]
Phoebe: Ok well, before you do, I know we weren't supposed to get you going away presents, (she takes something out from her pocket) but I do have something for you.
Phoebe: It's a cotton swab with a bit of my saliva on it, so that if they perfect the cloning process while you are over there, you can use the DNA to create your own Pheebs!
(Phoebe and Rachel enter the living room.)
Rachel: I love you Phoebe.
Phoebe: I love you too. (they hug) Please don't... Don't turn into... you know... French bitch! (they hug again)
Phoebe: Ok.
Phoebe: (to Monica) Are you wearing waterproof mascara?
Phoebe: Oh, you're so screwed. (Monica goes into the guest room)
Ross: (to Phoebe) Hey. What was that all about?
Phoebe: She's gonna say goodbye to each of us individually.
Phoebe: Yeah, I know, it's gonna be even worse for you... God... Ross, get ready to do some serious crying.
Phoebe: (from the other side of the room) Yeah!
Phoebe: These are not mine... Look how flimsy they are, come on! Good God! You try to hang a guy from a waterpipe with these, they'll snap like a piece of licorice.
Chandler: Sure. (to Phoebe) You don't really handcuff guys to waterpipes do you?
Phoebe: Where do you think Mike really is? (she giggles, Chandler looks aghast)
Phoebe: I don't know. But, God, Joey seems to be handling it suprisingly well.
[Scene: Monica's apartment continued... Phoebe, Chandler, Monica and Joey are sitting down and Ross is pacing up and down.]
Phoebe: You know, maybe she was just really spent from our talk. It was pretty intense.
Phoebe: Ross, if you're this upset, you should go and talk to her.
Phoebe: Tell me about it.
Phoebe: All right, I think I'm gonna head out.
Phoebe: I thought I was going home to go to bed, but I'm sensing there's something less fun for me to do here.
Monica: Oh no! You and Phoebe are gonna help me in here.
Phoebe and Joey: Yeah.
Phoebe: How was your night?
Phoebe: Yeah, you got to get to the hospital.
Monica: All right, Chandler get the coats. Erica let's go. Phoebe and Joey, keep packing! Oh my God we're gonna have a baby. All right. We're gonna have a baby! OH MY GOD, WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BABY! Oh God, oh God, I got to sit down, I got to sit down. Ooh! (she's hyperventilating)
Phoebe: Okay. (she starts to stuff styrofoam peanuts down the front of Joey's pants.)
Phoebe: All right, ready?
Phoebe: All right, here it goes...
Phoebe: So did Heldi show you the place?
PHOEBE: No.
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
RACHEL: Phoebe we just saw mine, let me see yours.
RACHEL: Phoebe, how would you do this to me? This was all your idea.
PHOEBE: Um, yeah I guess that's me.
Phoebe: Nuh-uh! Theyre maternity pants. They even came with a list of baby names. (Pulls out a sheet of paper which lists whos been naughty and whos been nice.) See, these names are good, and these names are bad. (Finally, she figures it out.) Ohh.
(Joey and Phoebe leave for the door)
PHOEBE: Do you want a refill?
PHOEBE: Wanna see mine, wanna see mine?
PHOEBE: You have a third nipple?
Phoebe: Well, if you dont want your mother to move in with you, just tell her.
Phoebe: OkayOop! Too late! Im leaving! Come on Chandler lets go! (She storms out.)
Chandler: Yeah! Anderson just scored again! (To Phoebe) Theres no Anderson.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, everyone except Phoebe is there as Rachel enters carrying a magazine.]
PHOEBE: So why don't ya show us the rest of your casa?
Phoebe: Okay Joey? Chandler's here, he was wondering (We hear the dial tone as Joey hangs up.) Okay, I guess he ran out of change.
PHOEBE: OK, let's go.
[Phoebe enters]
Phoebe: (writing in her book) Marcia and Chester are mad at Phyllis.
Phoebe: Of course not, because youre in love with her.
PHOEBE: I'm not done yet, OK. God. OK, if that goes well, they may even want to make an album.
PHOEBE: I told you not to do that yet. And, she wants to do a video.
PHOEBE: I'm done now.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is sitting between Monica and Phoebe.]
Phoebe: All right, let just try it again. Really listen.
Phoebe: Ooh, three points. Both fine answers, but we were looking for leafy, leafy.
PRODUCER: OK Phoebe, you ready to try one?
PHOEBE: OK, that's my tattoo.
Phoebe: Yeah, 'cause hello, these are not her boobies, these are her breasts.
(Phoebe enters with Hums While He Pees also known as Kyle.)
Ross: yes, yes I did. and I will also say what I'm about to say Vis-�-vis the following Phoebe has never had a serious relationship since her. super-serious relationship with. Vicrum.
Vince: (to Phoebe) Look, I gotta go. I'm on call tonight. (kisses her) See you Saturday. (leaves)
Phoebe: Floopy?
Phoebe: Yeah, well I had to learn, I was staying at the Y and some off the young men werent acting Christian enough.
(They hug as Phoebe and Joey stare at the two of them.)
PHOEBE: Hey.
(Ross gives Phoebe a dollar.)
PHOEBE: Oh my God.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe is singing. Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel are listening.]
[Joey just laughs as a third set of flashbacks featuring Chandlers mistakes starts. The first flashback is from The One With The Prom Video. It's Chandler telling Phoebe how much he hates the bracelet Joey bought him. They're both at Central Perk.]
PHOEBE: OK. [singing] Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat [back up singers start singing smelly, smelly, smelly, smelly behind her] Oh woah, oh my God. I mean like, who was that?
Mike: You know, I really don't feel very comfortable making this decision. You know, Phoebe knows you better, I'm gonna let her choose. (he leaves)
PHOEBE: Yes.
[Phoebe enters]
PHOEBE: Hey.
Monica: Hey Phoebe... how you doin'? You feelin' better?
PHOEBE: I mean this poor woman.
Phoebe: Why, I must have been in missile training the day they taught that.
Phoebe: Wow! Thats so great! Oh! Oh! Cougar.
PHOEBE: Monica.
PHOEBE: Chandler.
Phoebe: (yelling from the bedroom) Get away from that! No! (she comes into the living room carrying the phone) She's just getting dressed.
PHOEBE: Rachel.
Phoebe: Ooh, ooh! Why don't we invite her?
PHOEBE: Why don't you play with your roommate?
PHOEBE: I know.
Phoebe: Im telling you hes dead. What we are about to have here is a dead fat guy on a stick.
PHOEBE: Ok.
Phoebe: Oh yay! Great! Okay, what room number is he in?
Phoebe: Im not gonna give you tips! Look dont you see that this-this this all came together so that I could stop you from doing this.
Phoebe: Oh, I (starts jabbering incoherently)
Phoebe: Okay. There may be a way that we can get the other ring back. Cause I heard the guy tell the jeweler where he was going to propose. So maybe we can get him to trade rings or something.
Phoebe: Monica and Chandler said that you were having so much fun here. And apparently no amount of drums or tarantulas is gonna change that.
Phoebe: Do you like car games?
PHOEBE: Why would you kill his fish?
(Phoebe opens the door and Tom, an older gentleman with white hair, enters.)
[Scene: In front of Macys, Phoebe has adorned her bucket with numerous signs. Like "We are not a urinal!" and "I have no Macys info." And other stuff like that. She also has a scowl on her face as she is ringing her bell. A little old lady walks up to make a donation but Phoebe stops her.]
Phoebe: (To Joey) You ate meat! (Joey is shocked) (To Chandler and Monica) You had sex! (Theyre shocked.)
Earl: (To All) Did you hear that?! I dont need you guys to care about me! Because the universe cares! The whole universe! (Laughs as everyone ignores him.) (To Phoebe) I really wished theyd care just a little bit though.
Phoebe: You won't even taste it?
Phoebe: Tiger! (Joey moves his hand in an attempt to do the chord, in fact he does it with each name.) Dragon! Iceberg!! (He fails.) Joseph, did you even study at all last night?
PHOEBE: Just don't. Look at this funky shirt!
PHOEBE: It's James Bond.
CHANDLER: Because sometimes, Phoebe after you sleep with someone, you have to kill the fish.
Phoebe: No, and so there's no one to walk me down the aisle and... well, I would just really love it if you would do it.
Phoebe: But you would have so much fun and you have a really nice voice.
Phoebe: (makes a face) Are you kidding, I love it!
Phoebe: Wha..? Again with the nature, what are you? Beavers?
[Scene: Mike's parents building. Phoebe gets out of the classy elevator, looking all dressed up like an older woman, and very un-Phoebe. She walks to the door and rings the doorbell.]
Phoebe: Nothing, I'm sorry, I'm just, I'm out of sorts.
Phoebe: What are we gonna do? I'm starving.
PHOEBE: Hey.
Phoebe and Rachel: OOooooo!
[Phoebe enters]
PHOEBE: Yeah.
Phoebe: Oh, I don't know, I don't know, isn't that a little desperate?
PHOEBE: Oh yes, no, Richard would never steal your wind.
PHOEBE: No, 'cause he's yummy.
PHOEBE: [Mrs. Adelman's voice] Talk about crap. Try listening to Stella Niedman tell the story of her and Rod Steiger for the hundredth time.
Phoebe: No, I got in trouble for that before. Ill see you later.
Phoebe: No wait! JustOkayJust wait! You guys! Wait you guys! Dont make any rash decisions, okay? Just remember my promise, when we get married, three times a week.
Phoebe: (smiles at him happily for a few seconds before answering) No!
Phoebe: (looking out the window) Oh, look! There's Monica and Chandler! (Starts yelling.) Hey! Hey, you guys! Hey! (Chandler and Monica start taking each other's clothes off.) Ohh!! Ohh! Ahh-ahhh!!
Phoebe: Your knuckles are kinda hairy too...
Phoebe: Ooh, my first birthday present... (delightedly examining the cardigan in her lap) ..oh, this is really...
ROSS: [uncomfortable] Good, so everybody's here. Everybody's good. So, were you gonna play something, Phoebe?
Melissa: Oh, isnt a shame when one girl ruins it for the whole bunch? (Phoebe agrees by grunting.)
[Scene: Central Perk - Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Ross and Rachel are sitting on the sofas. Joey enters]
Phoebe: Oh, it's okay, it was just my left leg.